abidismaili Posted April 10, 2019 Author Posted April 10, 2019 10 hours ago, bobsaigon said: I don't see any need to notify the American consulate. In the Netherlands when you are born this has by law to be registered and a birth certificate is created. The government also needs to know if you have died. Family is by law ordered to notify the government and a death certificate is created. Else for example they will keep sending your state pension every month to your account for example. Then the person having access to it can use this money which consitutes fraud, because the recipient of the pension is no longer alive. Your consulate needs to know because as a citizen of your country, your country needs to know if you no longer walk the Earth. Quote
bobsaigon Posted April 10, 2019 Posted April 10, 2019 I fully intend for US Social Security and my bank to be notified of my death, after I have been cremated. I'm just trying to devise various ways of preventing local Consular staff from showing up at my apartment after I've gone. Quote
Bob Posted April 10, 2019 Posted April 10, 2019 Once you do investigate, the US embassy/consulate will be notified by the hospital and/or police of any US citizen death. The embassy/consulate will want to take possession of your passport and they would typically prepare a death certificate that would work in the US (e.g., if you have an IRA there, there'll need to be an official (US) death certificate for anyone to access it). And your remains for disposition will be released once the cops, embassy/consulate, and hospital approve the release. But as long as you have a valid Will as you note (leaving your Vietamese assets to your partner and providing other necessary appointments and powers, then your partner can short-circuit the embassy's/consulate's next-of-kin search by showing them that document (they will, of course, want to see one in English or a certified translation of one that is in another language). With that Will, the release by the embassy/consulate should promptly occur. Presuming there is no issue of foul play or delay because of a autopsy request by the cops, the cops will give the okay. And once your partner pays the hospital bills, your good to go (so to speak). Quote
bobsaigon Posted April 10, 2019 Posted April 10, 2019 1 hour ago, Bob said: Once you do investigate, the US embassy/consulate will be notified by the hospital and/or police of any US citizen death. The embassy/consulate will want to take possession of your passport and they would typically prepare a death certificate that would work in the US (e.g., if you have an IRA there, there'll need to be an official (US) death certificate for anyone to access it). And your remains for disposition will be released once the cops, embassy/consulate, and hospital approve the release. But as long as you have a valid Will as you note (leaving your Vietamese assets to your partner and providing other necessary appointments and powers, then your partner can short-circuit the embassy's/consulate's next-of-kin search by showing them that document (they will, of course, want to see one in English or a certified translation of one that is in another language). With that Will, the release by the embassy/consulate should promptly occur. Presuming there is no issue of foul play or delay because of a autopsy request by the cops, the cops will give the okay. And once your partner pays the hospital bills, your good to go (so to speak). Thanks, Bob. That is helpful. Quote
ChristianPFC Posted April 14, 2019 Posted April 14, 2019 On 4/8/2019 at 1:23 AM, bobsaigon said: I live in Vietnam and will probably die here. I've told my Vietnamese partner NOT to notify the US Consulate when I die, otherwise consulate employees will show up at my apartment and want to take possession of all my personal effects and send them to my sisters. Aside from whatever embarrassment that might generate, I'm sure my sisters would not be eager to receive the belongings of their deceased brother. Not a good way to achieve closure. That implies you still have an apartment in the USA, and stuff stored there. But why? And who pays the rent? As soon as the rent payment is missing, the landlord will take measures to get his money, and one way or another authorities will get involved. Not informing the US Consulate/Embassy would only delay this. (At least that is how I think it would work in Germany. I have never been to the US, things might be different there.) ------------------ abidismaili: my close family and friends know what I'm doing in Thailand, and they can see everything I have, be it hardware or digital. Quote
bobsaigon Posted April 15, 2019 Posted April 15, 2019 That implies you still have an apartment in the USA, and stuff stored there. But why? And who pays the rent? ChristianPFC, I don't see that implication. I do not own any property in the USA. I sold houses and car a few years ago as part of my effort to release myself from material concerns. . Quote
abidismaili Posted April 15, 2019 Author Posted April 15, 2019 13 hours ago, ChristianPFC said: abidismaili: my close family and friends know what I'm doing in Thailand, and they can see everything I have, be it hardware or digital. You are I think an exception. Most sons I am sure would feel embarrsed if their parents saw their sex toys or their SM dungeon. I guess it depends how you were raised. Likewise: I dont care when people see me naked at all, but somehow with family its different, or collegues. I would feel embarressed if my mother saw me with full erection. Likewise I would feel embarrseed if they saw my Thai sex tourism magazines and sex toys. You were raised I think in a different culture at home. Hippy parents? Walking naked through the house when you were growing up? Let yuou walk naked in the house during your childhood? Etc? If you grow up in such an environment I can totally understand that it is not an issue at all. Quote
PeterRS Posted April 15, 2019 Posted April 15, 2019 Compared to today, I was raised in an old fashioned household. As executors of my will I have two close relatives (meaning relations who are close to me personally and know that i am gay). I am not into toys and so the only items of some concern might be a stack of porn vdos. These I keep in a toolbox (sic) securely locked with a padlock that would require a wire cutter to open. Clearly written on the front are the words "Do not open. Throw away after my death." I have no doubts that this is what my executors will do. If one happened to be the prying kind, he or she might decide to take a peek inside. But I will be dead and it will not concern me. The person who peeked will then feel considerable guilt, probably for quite some time, that my wishes were not carried out. But I know 100% that will not happen. If you constantly worry about these things, my guess is you will become totally paranoid - that is, if you have not already approached that state. Quote
Londoner Posted April 15, 2019 Posted April 15, 2019 If someone's life-style is so embarrassing that no one must know of it, even after he/she is dead, my suggestion is to change that life-style. That's what millions of our forebears did to avoid persecution. And of course, others campaigned, often at great personal cost so that our generation need not be embarrassed.... Quote
ChristianPFC Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 On 4/15/2019 at 7:26 AM, bobsaigon said: That implies you still have an apartment in the USA, and stuff stored there. But why? And who pays the rent? ChristianPFC, I don't see that implication. I do not own any property in the USA. I sold houses and car a few years ago as part of my effort to release myself from material concerns. . Quote consulate employees will show up at my apartment and want to take possession of all my personal effects and send them to my sisters. So that refers to your place in Vietnam? In that case, your Vietnamese parter would be the first who has access to your possessions, and can keep/discard/give government employees whatever he thinks they should get. Quote
ChristianPFC Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 On 4/15/2019 at 10:59 AM, abidismaili said: You were raised I think in a different culture at home. Hippy parents? Walking naked through the house when you were growing up? Let yuou walk naked in the house during your childhood? Etc? If you grow up in such an environment I can totally understand that it is not an issue at all. Not at all. It's just that my attitude changed. When I was young, I was embarrassed being naked, even around family members, and now I poke fun at people in who change under a towel in gay sauna locker rooms, short of wiggling my willy at them. When I was young (gay in the closet), talk about sex by adult family members was embarrassing for me (for fear of being asked to contribute, or being exposed). Now THEY are embarrassed when I talk about my sexual adventures in Thailand and ask me to stop. It's so liberating not to have anything to hide! abidismaili and vinapu 2 Quote
Guest Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 On 4/15/2019 at 5:33 AM, PeterRS said: so the only items of some concern might be a stack of porn vdos. These I keep in a toolbox (sic) securely locked with a padlock that would require a wire cutter to open. If you are worried about this, you could probably digitize the whole lot and store it on some encrypted drive on your PC, which would be way more secure. I do not care about people finding such material after my death. I care to some extent about reputation, but for more important matters like honesty. If they find some videos, well it makes no difference to me. 18 hours ago, ChristianPFC said: now I poke fun at people in who change under a towel in gay sauna locker rooms Reminds me about when I picked up a guy in Vientiane at the water fountain about 12 years ago. Off we went on his scooter to some short time hotel on the outskirts of the town. When he was making quite an effort to undress with a towel wrapped around his waist, I'm thinking this is not a good start. Then we go to the shower and he simply drops the towel, no inhibitions at all. Quote