Thai bars' attitude toward to westerners and Chinese tourists

[GPAPA]

As a Chinese forum member, This forum has been really helpful and informative for me. And there's one thing I'm really curious about if anyone have experienced while in Thailand.

Since in Chinese culture, some people have been somewhat racist to our own kind lol. Most of last gen would worship a westerner for no reason, and so some of the Asian countries. But last time when I was in bangkok. Every gogobar I went, the mamasans and the boys (gay ones) have been somewhat focusing on me a lot. I don't know if that's because my young age or because of they are used to other chinese tourist who would tip a lot. I personally didn't understand why. 

And the scene which made me wanna post this thread is that. I was chatting with a mamasan in a bar, and I pointed to a boy on stage and told the mamasan I would love to chat with that boy. then before the mamasan called that boy over. Another table of some westerner foreigners called the boy over and started to chat with the boy I wanted. I told the mamasan that it was fine and I will wait til their table finishes their talk. But the mamasan WAS NOT HAVING IT. He waited like 10 seconds and went to that table and told the boy to rush up and come over to my table. I was so embarrassed because it was kind of rude taking someone out while they were having a talk. And as I expected, that whole table of people were NOT happy. They looked like they would come over and choke me to death if it was legal lol.

It was stressful and funny at the same time. And the first thought came over my mind was that this would never happen in China, The waiters would not give a dam about local and would go serve the westerners. So I'm really curious if any other Thai places have given attitude to any forum members and serving somewhat better to other chinese(or other ethnicity) groups.

[spoon]

If the westerners customers called the boy without using mamasan, probably the mamasan was angry at them as well, coz they cut off the mamasan from getting a cut from the boy if they buy drinks or off the boy. But yeah, i do see boys and mamasan loves the influx of chinese tourists, especially the famous ones like jupiter in bangkok and bbb in pattaya. And i saw lots of them tips generously too.

[witty]

And most of them are younger than the average farang too... 

[Rule88]

Hi Gpapa,

I honestly think it’s because of the influx of chinese tourist not just in bkk but in Thailand in general...

Some might disagree with me (and that’s fine) But from my own point of view,  Tourism in Thailand and most South East Asian countries is huge and Chinese are there biggest customers they have every year. I think they want to make a good impression. With that in mind you will probably tell that home. Not mention Chinese tips alot... 

 

[Guest]

1  Presumably the average customer fitting your profile tips the mamasans generously.      Hence the service.

  Who is most likely to off the boy is a separate question, but all the mamasan cares about is his tip.  

  I shall continue to call boys over directly in most instances.    So if you asked for a boy that was sitting with me, perhaps that mamasan would call him over to your table.

 

Which reminds me, there might be another angle to this:

2   If the people at the other table had not bought the boy a drink fairly promptly, I think the mamasan has some grounds for calling him over to your table, since the whole gogo bar business works on the basis that you buy the boy a drink.      

However, if they HAVE bought him a drink and he is called away by the mamasan, they have grounds to be seriously annoyed.    I would most likely take the bill for the boy drink out of the check bin and bring it straight over to the mamasan at your table. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[GPAPA]

8 hours ago, z909 said:

1  Presumably the average customer fitting your profile tips the mamasans generously.      Hence the service.

  Who is most likely to off the boy is a separate question, but all the mamasan cares about is his tip.  

  I shall continue to call boys over directly in most instances.    So if you asked for a boy that was sitting with me, perhaps that mamasan would call him over to your table.

 

Which reminds me, there might be another angle to this:

2   If the people at the other table had not bought the boy a drink fairly promptly, I think the mamasan has some grounds for calling him over to your table, since the whole gogo bar business works on the basis that you buy the boy a drink.      

However, if they HAVE bought him a drink and he is called away by the mamasan, they have grounds to be seriously annoyed.    I would most likely take the bill for the boy drink out of the check bin and bring it straight over to the mamasan at your table. 

That is true. They were chatting and having fun without buying the boy a drink, that might be part of the reason.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[DivineMadman]

Welcome to the board!

First of all, you're not responsible for the actions of a mamasan.  You're kind to notice the issue, but don't worry.

As to the question of attitude towards Chinese and/or western customers, I think overall it ends up being no different from any other customers.  If you're a bit younger then you're likely to be a more desirable customer for the guys, and walking with you down the street to the hotel might be a little less cringe-worthy than for some customers (e.g., me), and they might find the sex a bit less of a chore.  But it's still just a job.  I know some guys at the bars who prefer farang, but I know many more who find other asians more attractive (as do I), so color of money not nationality prevails.

The job of the guys working at the bars is to figure out and be more attentive to the customers who might tip / tip well.  If you are engaging with a mamasan then the mamasan will try to earn his/her tip, and if that means getting your guy to come to chat with you, they're just doing their job.  Certainly if I tell a mamasan I want to chat with ##, I expect the mamasan to go tell the guy and if he's available bring him over.  If the mamasan says he's busy or not available, not problem.   

 

[vinapu]

16 hours ago, GPAPA said:

. I told the mamasan that it was fine and I will wait til their table finishes their talk. But the mamasan WAS NOT HAVING IT. He waited like 10 seconds and went to that table and told the boy to rush up and come over to my table. I was so embarrassed ....

one more point I'm often making - talk to the boys directly and by-pass mamasans altogether 

[jason1975]

i don’t believe mamasan are more inclined towards me because I am Chinese. I am from Singapore by the way. They generally go to whoever seems really keen to pick an off. They know who are there for the boys or just to see the shows.

[spoon]

This is my own opinion, but a guy who is alone, regardless farang or asian, are more likely going there to look for an off? So if u are alone, chances are mamasan would prefer to get u the boy. Might be wrong but i believe this also play some part

[DivineMadman]

1 hour ago, vinapu said:

one more point I'm often making - talk to the boys directly and by-pass mamasans altogether 

I would put it differently.  You can have a perfectly fine experience without engaging with the mamasans, or they can be helpful.  Depends on the customer and the mamasan.  There are some I don't have the time for, and others I have been friends with for years.  

For a customer who has a regular guy at a bar, being nice to the mamasans and the occasional tip or drink can go a long way to making your guy's life easier at the bar.  

 

[GPAPA]

6 minutes ago, DivineMadman said:

I would put it differently.  You can have a perfectly fine experience without engaging with the mamasans, or they can be helpful.  Depends on the customer and the mamasan.  There are some I don't have the time for, and others I have been friends with for years.  

For a customer who has a regular guy at a bar, being nice to the mamasans and the occasional tip or drink can go a long way to making your guy's life easier at the bar.  

 

that is so true. A good honest mamasan is really helpful for newbies or even old customer for knowing the new boys

[ggobkk]

22 minutes ago, DivineMadman said:

I would put it differently.  You can have a perfectly fine experience without engaging with the mamasans, or they can be helpful.  Depends on the customer and the mamasan.  There are some I don't have the time for, and others I have been friends with for years.  

For a customer who has a regular guy at a bar, being nice to the mamasans and the occasional tip or drink can go a long way to making your guy's life easier at the bar.  

Agree with DivineMadman...especially his last comment about having a rgular off in a bar.  

[ggobkk]

10 minutes ago, GPAPA said:

that is so true. A good honest mamasan is really helpful for newbies or even old customer for knowing the new boys

good honest mamasan = cognitive dissonance

[hank75]

I really think this was circumstantial. I find farangs and Asians equally welcome as first time visitors, and only segregated into “preferred” and “non preferred” once the bar gets a sense of their spending.

 Like everyone else says, mamasan could see you were there to seriously engage an off, there was the expectation of business for the bar and a tip for boy and him. Perhaps they knew something about the group of farangs that you did not?

Many well meaning but clueless holidaymakers come to the bars to drink and have fun, and take up boy’s time because they enjoy chatting to a real “Thai gogo boy” but leave without offing or tipping because they simply are not aware this is where the real money is made. I see this at Jupiter all the time. 

On mamasans, I have had both good and bad experiences. But some can become good companions once you cut through all the initial flattery and guff.

One mamasan I’ve gotten to know well shares with me his career and family anxieties, and not in an effort to lobby for tips either. He doesn’t enjoy mamasan work in Bangkok, finds it boring most days, feels heart stricken when he and fellow mamasans have worked hard all night to chat up customers and they leave with no offs because they don’t like the boys or other reasons. I have offed him to join me for a drink in other bars just to liven up his quieter evenings. I was very touched when he tried to steer me to bars where he has an open bottle so I don’t pay for all the drinks. Now when he knows I’m in town, he hopefully texts “Tonight I can leave by 11.30!” 

[GPAPA]

8 minutes ago, hank75 said:

I really think this was circumstantial. I find farangs and Asians equally welcome as first time visitors, and only segregated into “preferred” and “non preferred” once the bar gets a sense of their spending.

 Like everyone else says, mamasan could see you were there to seriously engage an off, there was the expectation of business for the bar and a tip for boy and him. Perhaps they knew something about the group of farangs that you did not?

Many well meaning but clueless holidaymakers come to the bars to drink and have fun, and take up boy’s time because they enjoy chatting to a real “Thai gogo boy” but leave without offing or tipping because they simply are not aware this is where the real money is made. I see this at Jupiter all the time. 

On mamasans, I have had both good and bad experiences. But some can become good companions once you cut through all the initial flattery and guff.

One mamasan I’ve gotten to know well shares with me his career and family anxieties, and not in an effort to lobby for tips either. He doesn’t enjoy mamasan work in Bangkok, finds it boring most days, feels heart stricken when he and fellow mamasans have worked hard all night to chat up customers and they leave with no offs because they don’t like the boys or other reasons. I have offed him to join me for a drink in other bars just to liven up his quieter evenings. I was very touched when he tried to steer me to bars where he has an open bottle so I don’t pay for all the drinks. Now when he knows I’m in town, he hopefully texts “Tonight I can leave by 11.30!” 

that is so good to hear. I personally wanted to be a nice friend of an informative mamasan too. So I can have a nice experience in the bar and also maybe have some contacts info of some boys who I'm interested in. Then maybe I can off them without going to bar and paying the bar lol. Since I can't afford to buy drinks to every single boy that I'm interested in to just have a little chat.

[hank75]

38 minutes ago, GPAPA said:

So I can have a nice experience in the bar and also maybe have some contacts info of some boys who I'm interested in. Then maybe I can off them without going to bar and paying the bar lol.

Sorry to tell you, but that is not exactly how it works. A mamasan friend is not the same as having a free personal pimp. Hahaha. 

[GPAPA]

3 minutes ago, hank75 said:

Sorry to tell you, but that is not exactly how it works. A mamasan friend is not the same as having a free personal pimp. Hahaha. 

alright then lol. I'm glad you told me this before I try it. Things could get ugly hahaha

[spoon]

If u want to avoid paying boys drink or off fee, stay away from mamasan and get in contact with boys directly. If he likes u enough, and gives u his contact, thr next off might be done without the knowledge of bar, if it happens outside his work schedule.

[kentop]

9 hours ago, jason1975 said:

i don’t believe mamasan are more inclined towards me because I am Chinese. I am from Singapore by the way. They generally go to whoever seems really keen to pick an off. They know who are there for the boys or just to see the shows.

totally agree, they are so experienced they can sniff and sense  a prey and go for the kill. I visited Moonlight first time two weeks ago and within seconds the mamasan knew I was there with  the main aim to off somebody. My body language? Or leering eyes perhaps, although I kept it as low profile as possible and avoided staring at the boys

[ChristianPFC]

I would not spend much thought on it.

In all my years of going to gogo bars, with a ratio of looking to buying of about 10 to 1, I was in a similar situation only once. That was in Eros about 4 years ago. A boy I had before and wanted again was sitting with a customer, so I asked staff if the customers  intends to off the boy. The answer was no, so I waited and got the boy soon after. Else I would have gone somewhere else.

Another occasion, a few months ago in Kawaii, a boy I was keen on (from chatting online) and would have offed was sitting with a customer, and it looked like they would spend more time, so I did not interfere. Anyway, I spend most of my time in Thailand, so I can let others, who most like are tourists, get the boy first and I can get him later (and I did!).

As for befriending mamasan, about 5 years ago I befriended a mamasan at Classic Boys Bangkok, or at least I thought so. But after chatting with him several times, and buying him beers several times, it became clear to me that he is not interested in friendship, but in the beer I buy him.

As for having regulars, I would quickly get to doing this business directly in order to save time and money. (For me, going to a bar knowing which boy I would take home is a waste of time and money. Others might have different attitudes.)

[newscene]

This is really funny as I had similar experience in Thailand though it was my first time in Pattaya but not quite like the others I am sure. I went to X-Boys back in December-18 and just wanted to enjoy the show, they seems to have some ritual about customer entering and guys clapping (not sure I like that kinda attention) but anyway, the moment I settled down and placed my order for drink,  mamasan came over and sat next to me, usually I don't like them sitting next to me as I rather like my space or a company of a guy,

To ensure things don't get awkward, I started to chat a bit and ask about the guys, this one or that one just to pass the time until they leave or the show starts so that I can concentrate on what I came here to do but this one seems to have no urgency to attend any other customer, instead I started to get little massage and rather me checking goods of the guy (if someone was sitting next to me), this one was interested checking mine (quite a funny moment as I wasn’t being paid, lol, though not so comforting on the other hand).

Anyway, soon the key question came, who do you like, after putting off couple of times, I pointed out a guy who was sitting with other farang like me, (hoping since he's already drinking with someone, he wouldn't come and I will be off the hook) but guess I was wrong, this mamasan immediately went and checked with customer and in a minutes, the guy was sitting next to me, without finishing his drink.

The good part is, the guy was of my liking so it all worked out at the end but when I think of it, I find it funny. So much attention, almost having molested by mamasan but not being paid ,not wanting to choose a guy but end up choosing it, all fun memories, guess that’s why they call it land of smiles.

[GPAPA]

5 hours ago, newscene said:

The good part is, the guy was of my liking so it all worked out at the end but when I think of it, I find it funny. So much attention, almost having molested by mamasan but not being paid ,not wanting to choose a guy but end up choosing it, all fun memories, guess that’s why they call it land of smiles.

Exactly how I felt. It was really funny to me how the mamasan just went over there and took the boy to me. Though a big awkward but it was a fun experience lol

[ChristianPFC]

The difference between "like" and "want". I don't tell mamasans who I like, because then there is a high chance they will call him over to sit with me, and then not ordering a drink would be rude. However, mostly I just want to watch the boys on stage before making a decision who to sit with or off.

In a similar vein, a friend once brought me some food xxx.

ChristianPFC "Why did you bring xxx?".

Friend "You said you like xxx."

ChristianPFC "Yes I like xxx, but I don't want to eat it right now."

When I hit the Enter key, I always get an empty line as in the text above, unless I'm at the end of the line in editor, then I don't get an empty line. Why is this and what can I do about it when I don't want an empty line?

[vinapu]

9 minutes ago, ChristianPFC said:

 

When I hit the Enter key, I always get an empty line as in the text above, unless I'm at the end of the line in editor, then I don't get an empty line. Why is this and what can I do about it when I don't want an empty line?

don't worry empty line makes  easier to read