Guys on layaway....

[kokopelli]

Same as you Witty, I love gifts of plane tickets (especially Biz Class).

[ChristianPFC]

On 4/9/2019 at 9:12 AM, vinapu said:

...it's usually something what other people want me to have. 

Like my mother buying clothes for me.

It's difficult enough for me to find thins worth buying (books, clothes). Especially clothes shopping I loathe and wear those I have until they are threadbare, and only shortly before they fall off my body I buy something new. My mother, on the other hand, loves buying clothes for me, but often not what I need, and anyway clothes in Thailand are a lot cheaper and last as long as those in Germany.

When I book flight tickets, it's days of agony, optimizing day and time of departure, price, duration of stopover. I never had someone else buy a ticket for me, the idea is absurd.

For food I gratefully accept invitations (preferably at places of my choice), and I eat food brought by others (Thai boys), but would prefer they do not bring me food. Bringing food is just one line above asking for money on my list of annoyances. But I can't say so, they wouldn't understand, rather feign positive surprise and thank them.

The development of Thailand in relation to the rest of the world has been discussed in stickmanbangkok

https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/weekly-column/2019/03/the-best-is-still-the-best/

and subsequent columns.

[kokopelli]

4 hours ago, ChristianPFC said:

When I book flight tickets, it's days of agony, optimizing day and time of departure, price, duration of stopover. I never had someone else buy a ticket for me, the idea is absurd.

 

https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/weekly-column/2019/03/the-best-is-still-the-best/

and subsequent columns.

What is absurd about someone buying you a ticket? It does happen and it has happened to me and others that I know. A more descriptive word would be "gifting" someone a ticket.

[ceejay]

On 4/9/2019 at 9:12 AM, vinapu said:

it's not absurd and you are not alone, I'm the same. I'd not say I hate getting gifts but very rarely I receive something I want to have , it's usually something what other people want me to have.

With passing years we accumulate so much stuff that sometimes I have feeling that things are in charge on me , not me in charge of things  

I have no accumulated stuff. When I made the permanent move to Thailand, I sold, gave away or threw away everything I owned, bar the contents of 1 suitcase, which was all I took with me. It was liberating.

As far as gifts go, have you and Christian never heard the expression "it's the thought that counts"?. Sometimes it requires greater graciousness and generosity of spirit to receive than it does to give. Perhaps if you were to reflect on the thoughtfulness, care and wish to do something nice for you that has gone into a gift, rather than how much use it is to you, you might feel better about receiving it?

That goes double if it is one of your friends (paid or otherwise) in Thailand. You are probably dealing with people who are, financially, much worse off than you. The cost of a plate of rice and curry is a lot of money to someone who has to live on plates of rice and curry. Then the gift to you actually serves two purposes. The first, as before, is to do something nice for you. The second is to make the boy feel better about himself  as not being totally dependent on you and not being in a relationship that is just about your money.

Be gracious. Be grateful - the rewards will not be material, but they will be far beyond the material value of a few baht's worth of food.

 

[Guest]

23 minutes ago, ceejay said:

I have no accumulated stuff. When I made the permanent move to Thailand, I sold, gave away or threw away everything I owned, bar the contents of 1 suitcase, which was all I took with me. It was liberating.

That's good advice.

 

 

[witty]

I appreciate the thought that goes into the gift-giving practice,  but I still want the best grade apples. 

[williewillie]

It’s been a long time since the sandbox appeared. It’s appropriately named.

[ChristianPFC]

On 4/11/2019 at 12:09 AM, kokopelli said:

What is absurd about someone buying you a ticket? It does happen and it has happened to me and others that I know. A more descriptive word would be "gifting" someone a ticket.

Do they ask you about time and destination? But then it would be no surprise any more. I'm thinking of a ticket that is a surprise, but then I might not be free at that time, or not want to go to that place.

[ChristianPFC]

On 4/12/2019 at 2:25 PM, ceejay said:

As far as gifts go, have you and Christian never heard the expression "it's the thought that counts"?. Sometimes it requires greater graciousness and generosity of spirit to receive than it does to give. Perhaps if you were to reflect on the thoughtfulness, care and wish to do something nice for you that has gone into a gift, rather than how much use it is to you, you might feel better about receiving it?

That goes double if it is one of your friends (paid or otherwise) in Thailand. You are probably dealing with people who are, financially, much worse off than you. The cost of a plate of rice and curry is a lot of money to someone who has to live on plates of rice and curry. Then the gift to you actually serves two purposes. The first, as before, is to do something nice for you. The second is to make the boy feel better about himself  as not being totally dependent on you and not being in a relationship that is just about your money.

Be gracious. Be grateful - the rewards will not be material, but they will be far beyond the material value of a few baht's worth of food.

 

Valuable thoughts, worth quoting in full. Yes I did. That's why I feign/express gratitude when I get gifts from Thai friends (whereas as in my family, I refuse to take the gift). In June 2018, one bought me a polo shirt. Weeks or months later, I thanked him again and sent pictures of me wearing it. But unfortunately, it didn't work out in bed, so we met only that one time.

There is a positive trend, in 2018 I got more gifts than things were stolen from me! But the number of gifts requested is still higher than the number of gifts I get.

I bought 6 different sweets/snacks in Taiwan to give to friends in Thailand (and if anything is left, I will eat it myself). The question is: how to distribute it. Send a picture to the first boy and let him choose (he might not like some of it, or like another). Then repeat with the 5 that is left with the next boy. Or bring one arbitrarily as a surprise? Imagine the ignominy if the same is available in Thailand (but at least I selected stuff that has large Chinese script on it).

I will give some to friends who have not asked about gifts, else we get the unfair situation that those who ask might get something, and those who do not ask do not get anything.

Giving gifts is full of traps! Clothes might not fit or not be the wearer's style, food allergies or preferences. I have a Muslim money boy regular, imagine the insult if I brought him rice crackers with pork floss (I got once as a gift, but I can eat as I'm not Muslim).

 

[kokopelli]

3 hours ago, ChristianPFC said:

Do they ask you about time and destination? But then it would be no surprise any more. I'm thinking of a ticket that is a surprise, but then I might not be free at that time, or not want to go to that place.

Yes, they ask when and where I wish to go and then provide me with a ticket. It is a surprise to me when they ask and I am grateful for their generosity.

[ChristianPFC]

Now it becomes clearer. I had the idea of "Look kokopelli, I bought you a ticket to (place) on (time)."

But still, I want to have full control, that means day and time of departure and return. The only acceptable way for me would be that I select and buy the ticket myself and the gifter refunds me the money.

[kokopelli]

Not likely to happen, Christian!  People who gift me tickets normally use their frequent flyer points to purchase the ticket.  In other cases, I know of, the gifter,  is an airliner employee/retired employee who has free flight privileges and can provide a ticket to a person, with some restrictions concerning dates and class of service.

[williewillie]

I find the thread title offensive.  When I was younger, layaway referred to a  method poor people used to buy things.  It predated

the common use of credit cards in the last 50 years or so.

I find all references to the boys as merchandise, fresh meat and prostitutes as derogatory and demeaning.  Sex workers is

fine and descriptive as are words like host, companion, friends with benefits etc