Calling them “ boys”,time to be banned

[Terry4]

Hopefully as time goes on and the older Gay generation “die off” and the next gen take over eg guys my age under 50, we can get some sort of moral correctness and stop calling the working guys , “boys”

 

I do find it kind of pedophilliac when postsrs use that word and it can be read the same from others.

 

I would hope soon that the forums mods of the future start to look at this word mentioned in here “ boys”

 

It can be construed the wrong way by straight people reading these forums or even pedophiles.

 

Its a terrible word to describe the working guys in Thailand .

 

Its time to get more moderrn and I would ask the mods to consider educating posters at least for awhile to stop using this word, we are not pedophiles .

 

I realise it has been used for a long time and no doubt these “ old guys” on here past 70 “ get off” on using that term but i am starting to find it offensive and I believe anyone under 40 on here would too.

 

Can I ask others opinions and maybe consideration from the Mods in looking at educating posters not use the words boys when describing their sexual exploits .

 

Can I ask also the other forum owners that read this to also make some consideration of also educsting posters not to use the word “ boys” when describing sexual play

 

I am not asking for a complete ban of the word but it would help if it was monitored and not used when describing sexual exploits.

 

I ask moderators to educate posters because actually we dont know if the poster is actually talking about a legal age when he describes his exploit with a “boy”

 

I especially found it offensive once on another forum when a poster posted “ he went with a small boy “ and started to describe his sexual exploits ,one would have to question that and I did and that post was removed,although the poster most likely could of been describing a 30yo man he went with.

 

I am surprised there isnt more complaints from the do gooder / christian groups out there when they read these forums and what they must be thinking.

 

These are no longer “ boys” that we use for our service and shouldnt be described as that !

 

Hopefully as i said times change and all for the better in some cases.

 

Please consider mods of all Gay forums , and guys please consider not using the word “boys” too when writing posts., it can only be stopped if you stop doing it .

 

Kudo’s to one prolific poster who describes his sexual exploits with “guys” rather than using boys !,

 

Its as bad using someones Race ,they are not boys we are hiring,they are men .

 

As I said times change and a lot of you dont want change unfortunately and wont change with it.

[witty]

Boy oh Boy!

This must be the greatest dilemma.

To be or not to be?

[anddy]

1. they often call themselves boys

 

2. the label "boy" probably has nothing to do with age (as in boy=underage) but everything with the boyish appearance so many Asian guys have sometimes well into their 30s. Where the term "boy" is totally unfitting IMHO is for Tawan guys, but it's still being used there out of habit I suppose.

 

3. it is a stern rule of this forum that anything underage will not be tolerated in any way, and rightly so, and as long as I have been here nothing to that effect has ever been posted, not even close. With that rule and understanding in mind I don't see any problem with using the term "boy". I'm no fan of political correctness and censorship... I don't believe we need censorship here (except when if it were come to attempted underage postings, of course)

 

my 2 cents

[Terry4]

I have just been messaged by a American member who told me that the word “ boy” is also offensive in the African American Community , I didnt know that .

 

thankyiu for letting me know.

 

Guys rather than be silent if you agree I ask you to post in support.

[pong]

Then you'' ll also have to ban quite a few of those service-workers, who's genuine Thai nickname is BOY!

Though Bank and Beer is also very normal. However, John and Dick are rarely if ever heard of.

As for terry4: yes, as this was the name the master called or spoke to the slaves on the plantations. Though its (AFAIK) pretty much only so in the USA/North-America.

[paborn]

MY 2 cents is a question for Terry:

 

Why are all of your posts deliberately provocative?  I, myself, usually say guys but that is my writing style not an indictment of my fellow posters. 

[bobsaigon]

Question to OP:  How would you prevent the Thai guys from referring to themselves and unmarried colleagues as old as 35, as "boys" ?    "Boy", us used by the guys I have known, is more of a way of referencing someone who has not married, not settled down and not left the game.  At least that's what I have heard for 20 years, though the times they could be a changing.

[paborn]

Agreed, sort of jarring to think I'll just head over to Boy's Town, hunker down in Toy Boys and secure a date with an unmarried young man. Not, I think, in Thai parlance.

[hanan]

Hopefully as time goes on and the older Gay generation “die off”

 

I think you are correct on that one...

 

but i am starting to find it offensive and I believe anyone under 40 on here would too.

You believe wrong

 

they are not boys we are hiring,they are men

You will never convince me those boys in Kawaii agogo are men.

[kokopelli]

I agree with Terry that the use of boy is overdone in the gay community here in Thailand. And yes, better to use a term like guy.

At least in writing of one's exploits on the forums! Even I cringe when I read of the word boy.

 

But, there are many commonly used double words with "boy" in them such as flower boy, money boy, shoeshine boy, beach boy, lover boy, boy friend, go-go boy and on and on which are acceptable.

 

An expat friend recently was on board an airliner and asked the flight attendant (female)  to send the "boy" (a male flight attendant) to his seat. He immediately realized his mistake but too late.

[spoon]

Kokopeli hits the nail on boyfriends, i guess by using this, we are all pedophlies huh?

[vinapu]

You will never convince me those boys in Kawaii agogo are men.

be careful what you are saying as you unwillingly perhaps just supported what Terry4 says in his OP 

[Jasper]

ROTFL

 

Dream Guy sounds like American gay porn. lol

[bkkguy]

do you seriously believe that a global search and replace of "boys" with "guys" or "sex workers" is all it will take to make the typical trip report here more palatable for straights / do gooders / christian groups / under 50 gays like you - and why should this be the objective given the target audience for this forum?

 

bkkguy

[vinapu]

Then you'' ll also have to ban quite a few of those service-workers, who's genuine Thai nickname is BOY!

Though Bank and Beer is also very normal. 

ah, memories, Boy from Tawan or Bank from BBB !

 

On the merit of OP, surprisingly perhaps,  I kind of support Terry here.

 

Yes , it's true that this is how invariably bar and massage workers refer to themselves and their friends but  uninitiated lurkers and readers of those forums at times may cringe indeed when they read something like " I wanted to off smiling small boy but other farang was faster and grabbed him before my move ".

 

I just did , reading hanan post above,  even if I, like all us us I fully understand and even agree with what he is saying but I'm kind of ' in the know '  person visited that bar  few times and invariably running out screaming , horrified by lack of body mass of their guys ( see I'm learning )

 

so yes, I agree that overusing ' boy ' world may spell trouble and gradually we should learn to use 'guy" or 'man ' instead, not out of political correctness which may lead to idiocies well illustrated by Jasper above but out of desire to peace in the world and our forums being undisturbed. 

 

I know it's easy for me to say as boys I like are usually well past boyhood stage and other than us are called "boy' perhaps by their grandmothers only and even I smile when one Tawan boy refers to other , equally massive ' that boy ".

 

and a bit of personal experience - upon return  home from my Dec 2014 trip I was randomly  chosen for closer inspection. Not that it was much to inspect as I travel lightly but small notebook with picture of fully dressed baby on the cover made officer immediately energized.

 

To his disappointment it was almost unused with few irrelevant notes scribbled inside but I knew that if was used / thank you Guardian Angel for making me lazy / I'd be in trouble. I was even asked explicitly about why I chose such cover when I travel to Thailand. I'm not making it up and kidding you not. Fortunately my explanation that it was only kind available in my local dollar store was accepted and I was let go.  

 

We can or can't agree with Terry4 but it needs to be admitted that recently he initiated two very interesting discussions on this forum.

[vinapu]

do you seriously believe that a global search and replace of "boys" with "guys" or "sex workers" is all it will take to make the typical trip report here more palatable for straights / do gooders / christian groups / under 50 gays like you - 

no but it's suggestion of ' do not scratch yourself if you don't have any itching "

[Terry4]

Thankyou Vinapu I appreciate your comment.

[baobao]

Hmmm.

 

Here's another new-ish member standing there "innocently" stirring up silt on "how much to tip", "bare-backing", "using the term boys" and the likes. It's as if nobody notices him repeatedly regurgitating topics already beaten to a pulp before being locked. 

[witty]

I see the use of the term 'boy' as a fond reference to a young man you like, who's relatively younger than yourself.

Of course there are among us who find the men of Tawan endearing and will think of them as boys, allowing for the age difference.

The vibrancy of the bar can only be felt when the young guys are acting like boys of their age. I wouldn't go to a bar where the pole dancers are older men. Where is the fun?

[Terry4]

Hmmm.

 

Here's another new-ish member standing there "innocently" stirring up silt on "how much to tip", "bare-backing", "using the term boys" and the likes. It's as if nobody notices him repeatedly regurgitating topics already beaten to a pulp before being locked.

 

We are only talking about subjects on a forum, even if you dont agree , with due respect you dont have to take part.

You can either skip the posts and I also dont click on every post myself.

 

Incidentally i have been following your blog for many years and am a subscriber so am not that “ newish”

[paborn]

Incidentally i have been following your blog for many years and am a subscriber so am not that “ newish”

 

 

So you've been an avid follower of a blog not updated since 10/14/16?

[paborn]

We can or can't agree with Terry4 but it needs to be admitted that recently he initiated two very interesting discussions on this forum.

 

Dear Vinapu, that's the problem. It's the pattern, not the topic. As I've said I prefer to use "guy" and usually do. So, it is not the topic I question it is the manner. One can voice an opinion or be a provocateur. Everyone can draw their own conclusions as to my position on this.

[a447a]

I can see terry's point here and prefer to use the term "guy" as I'm aware of the negative connotations of "boy" in certain contexts, usually ones dealing with sex. But I sometimes use it when talking about "gogo boys." These days all gogo boys have to be over 18 (of is it 20?) and everyone here is probably well aware of that.

 

At the end of the day I am not posting to a general audience - I am posting to a specific group of people who understand that "boy" does not mean underage. As such, I couldn't give a fuck about what Christian groups think - my posts are not aimed at them.

 

I'm also not writing for the African American community. If they find "boy" offensive then perhaps it should be removed entirely from the English language. But then, "girl" would have to go, too.

 

We could substitute "guy" for "boy" but then we would have to accept awkward terms such as "gogo guy", "guyfriend", "playguy" etc.

 

And we would then have to start using terms like "womanfriend."

 

And cougars talking about their "toy guys" sounds weird.

 

Given the context in which we are using the word, I don't think it's a big issue.

[kokopelli]

Kokopeli hits the nail on boyfriends, i guess by using this, we are all pedophlies huh?

A few years ago I was on a visit to USA at a gay bar. I was telling someone there about my adventures in Thailand with Thai boys.  He hushed me up and said "don't talk about boys in here" !   I did my best to explain the meaning of boy in Thailand but to little avail. So any mention of boy in USA and you are a pedo. ! Likewise anyone reading this forum and not-in-the-know would think the same.

[ggobkk]

"awareness"  - for me, it's instructive, to stop and think about how words I use have impacts.  Some of which are unintended.  As noted in an early post on this topic "boy" is demeaning and insulting when used in addressing or referring to an African-American male in the USA.  

 

The last few days here in TumpAmerican, many folks have been tripping over their tongues in trying to navigate the currents of politics and the MeToo movement. 

 

Since, I haven't gone back and read my reports and posts, I'll take the approach everything is perfect.  BUT, will use "guys" going forward.  And, if businesses want to use "Boy(s)" in advertising and conversations, well that's for them to decide.  I'm only able to  be "responsible" for myself.