Don't Trust Guys' Pics On-line!

[nynakedtop]

Gosh, I feel like this year's trip I am coming across as a bit of a downer. Maybe I have changed. Maybe the way life around me in Thailand has changed..

 

 

Not sure.

 

But, having said that.... I have now had my fourth experience where a guy looking for a (commercial)  hook-up was NOT the person his pics represented him to be. Either the pic was not him at all, or it was 10 years older and 15 pounds later.

 

And it has happened on a variety of platforms: tonight's RentMen guy definitely mis-represented himself. A Chiang Mai masseur looked nothty ing like his pics. Two Pattaya experiences.

 

You would think that I would have become smart by now, right? Well... no. I guess my faith in the goodness of humanity ain't working out so well for me.

 

Tired of this. I am sticking with Arena, where I know what I am getting!

[paborn]

Exactly my fear of the apps. I fly from 12 time zones away, have limited time, thus I prefer to buy what I see. He might still be a dud but I have a better chance, at least IMHO!

[bucknaway]

It sucks to be catfished by Thai guys hehe

[Guest]

I have suffered this too, although it's very much in the minority of cases.     Possibly helped by countermeasure #2 below.

 

1  Always check EVERY photo in the profile.   That's one advantage of Planet Romeo -more photos means more chances for them to **** up their little game by putting in a recent photo.

 

2  Ask if they still look like the photo and make it clear if they don't look like the photo, there is no date.    I think this one helps filter a few out, but if you have some gorgeous lad who doesn't speak much English, of course it's time to take a risk.

  

3  Meet away from your hotel room, so it's easier to send them packing.    Obviously I play fair & allow them a couple of pounds and a year or two, but any substantial deviation & it's time to say good bye.    

 

4 Another area is a set of photos designed to carefully disguise a beer gut.    If they have face shots, lying on stomach shots & something in loose clothing, without a proper full frontal or side shot, this maybe what they are trying to disguise.    If they do this with real photos, it's my responsibility for not checking properly, so the date goes ahead.

 

I've also met some absolutely stunning lads on line, so that is possible. 

 

Furthermore, a lot of the lads on line in Pattaya work at gogo bars, so you can check them out by both methods.

 

If I was only in Thailand for a few days, I would just do the bars.   When spending about >20 days out of a 31 day trip in Thailand, I have time to try the apps as well. 

When in the smaller towns & cities, other countries etc, there are sometimes no  gay bars & the choice on the apps is limited too. 

[faranglaw]

I have suffered this too, although it's very much in the minority of cases.     Possibly helped by countermeasure #2 below.

 

1  Always check EVERY photo in the profile.   That's one advantage of Planet Romeo -more photos means more chances for them to **** up their little game by putting in a recent photo.

 

2  Ask if they still look like the photo and make it clear if they don't look like the photo, there is no date.    I think this one helps filter a few out, but if you have some gorgeous lad who doesn't speak much English, of course it's time to take a risk.

  

3  Meet away from your hotel room, so it's easier to send them packing.    Obviously I play fair & allow them a couple of pounds and a year or two, but any substantial deviation & it's time to say good bye.    

 

4 Another area is a set of photos designed to carefully disguise a beer gut.    If they have face shots, lying on stomach shots & something in loose clothing, without a proper full frontal or side shot, this maybe what they are trying to disguise.    If they do this with real photos, it's my responsibility for not checking properly, so the date goes ahead.

 

I've also met some absolutely stunning lads on line, so that is possible. 

 

Furthermore, a lot of the lads on line in Pattaya work at gogo bars, so you can check them out by both methods.

 

If I was only in Thailand for a few days, I would just do the bars.   When spending about >20 days out of a 31 day trip in Thailand, I have time to try the apps as well. 

When in the smaller towns & cities, other countries etc, there are sometimes no  gay bars & the choice on the apps is limited too.

 

Thanks for these very helpful reminders. I've had positive experiences on the apps, but quite limited. I haven't run into the fake photos problem yet, but these posts will make me more alert. Recently I've remade contact with a couple of massage boys who are no longer working in the business, but are happy to stop by my room for a nice 1000 baht short time. That's a nice way to go about it and get someone reliable, but you have to have a way to connect. They seem to like the LINE app.

[sglad]

 

But, having said that.... I have now had my fourth experience where a guy looking for a (commercial)  hook-up was NOT the person his pics represented him to be. Either the pic was not him at all, or it was 10 years older and 15 pounds later.

 

 

mynakedtop, I'm a little surprised by this.  You seem like a savvy, clued-in kind of guy - why aren't you using Snapchat, FaceTime, Whatsapp or Line video call to verify your guests?  And they can verify you too if they wish.  Whoever trades pics anymore.  I don't do hook-ups as I'm happily attached but my friends who do would insist on real-time video verification or at the very least swapping of Insta accounts prior to meeting.  Some would even insist on verification prior to chatting especially if the potential date's pics look too good to be true. 

[nynakedtop]

There needs to be a way to request verification here, much as some people are starting to do in the US.

 

Request a new photo with something very specific - a three-fingered selfie, for example. Request a brief video verification.

 

If guys really want a meeting to happen, they should be able to demonstrate some small gesture to make it happen.

[nynakedtop]

mynakedtop, I'm a little surprised by this.  You seem like a savvy, clued-in kind of guy - why aren't you using Snapchat, FaceTime, Whatsapp or Line video call to verify your guests?  And they can verify you too if they wish too.  Whoever trades pics anymore.  I don't do hook-ups as I'm happily attached but my friends who do would insist on real-time video verification or at the very least swapping of Insta accounts.

 

My thoughts, exactly!

[sglad]

There needs to be a way to request verification here, much as some people are starting to do in the US.

 

Request a new photo with something very specific - a three-fingered selfie, for example. Request a brief video verification.

 

If guys really want a meeting to happen, they should be able to demonstrate some small gesture to make it happen.

 

Yeah, all the platforms I suggested would work. Good luck!

[PeterRS]

Try the Blued app. It requires a short selfie video for photo verification purposes before your profile photo is posted. Many thousands of of Thai guys are moving to this app because it has built in Thai/English translation.

[sglad]

Try the Blued app. It requires a short selfie video for photo verification purposes before your profile photo is posted.

 

Yeah, but what does it verify other than identity ie you are the person in those pics?  So basically they will look at the face.  What if the person uses old pics of himself with a good body against a "current" selfie video where he still looks like the guy in the pics but has gained a few kilos?  Will they call him out for that?  I have my doubts.  And what if the pics (and the selfie video used for verification) were posted six months ago?  A lot can happen in six months; put on a few kilos and no gym and washboard abs can disappear, pecs can become droopy, butts can drop.  IMHO, real-time video calls are the best coz you get to see what they look like NOW.  Moreover, you get to hear the other person's voice and maybe even detect any "off" mannerisms, bad teeth, etc (depending on what you're looking for).

[Londoner]

Caveat emptor. Remember that our visitors take chances too. And not just with photos....I must confess to not having changed my  profile age for three years! And there are also safety issues for them to consider, particularly visiting homes and apartments.

 

The advice on checking all the photos is good; indeed, I'm suspicious of any profile that only shows one photo.

 

My reaction to the advice to use other sites to back-up hornet et al is that for my age group, the struggle to master even the most straightforward technology is such that the prospect of further adventures into an alien world is unwelcome.

[williewillie]

Try the Blued app. It requires a short selfie video for photo verification purposes before your profile photo is posted. Many thousands of of Thai guys are moving to this app because it has built in Thai/English translation.

I started chatting with a lad on Blued. He worked at 4T bar in Jomtien Complex and we arranged to meet for a drink.

His English was near perfect and a tad formal. When I met him, he used his phone to ask me questions and I thought

he was a deaf mute. This went on for ten or 15 minutes. I spoke to him several times and he didn’t respond. When

his questions turned to topics like ‘do you like to go to the zoo”?, I asked him a few of the basic questions. It turned

out he had zero experience with farangs.

He wore very baggy jeans and very loose shirt. I tried to lift his T-shirt and he

stopped me, but not before I saw a thick roll of fat. Unusual for a 20 y.o.

Then he startled me and spoke with another boy in the bar and had no problems speaking or hearing.

I asked for check bin, tipped him and took off.

I was unaware of the transaction feature on Blued and was surprised it worked so effectively.

[zombie]

OP: Thank u for this useful topic.

 

My experience is the same as many mentioned above: guys using old pic's, someone else's pictures or an equally annoying practice is the photos that are photo-shopped.

A lot of these people have access too or the ability to use all sorts of advanced applications which improves their looks including skin color (they think that is an improvement) shape of face and body etc.

When i have asked some guys on line if they look the same as their photo many will try to avoid the question.

 

it seems they reckon- often correctly-if they can get "inside the door" then there is a good chance the punter will accept them as they really are.

 

Recently I turned one away as his picture showed perfect skin yet, in reality, he was covered in acne plus his rounded features and over weightedness had been doctored to a clear skin and sharp body and face features.

I gave him some money for his taxi.

 

So when chatting on line ask them to take and send a photo there and then or see them on video call.

 

Make it a condition of meeting that u have the right to refuse if they are not the same as their photo or they are simply not your type. In fairness in some cases a tip for taxi is a good idea.

[kokopelli]

 

 

So when chatting on line ask them to take and send a photo there and then or see them on video call.

 

Make it a condition of meeting that u have the right to refuse if they are not the same as their photo or they are simply not your type. In fairness in some cases a tip for taxi is a good idea.

And is your advice good for the goose as for the gander? Does anyone provide a photo, etc, of themselves to a prospective client? 

[Guest]

A proper money boy is usually more interested in what the tip will be than what the client looks like.   However, I have my picture on my profile and will send more clothed pictures if necessary.

 

Where I draw the line is when a money boy asks to see my photo BEFORE I see his (this is outside Thailand of course & still rare).   I always refuse that, as the client should not be conceding ground in any negotiation.   

[zombie]

And is your advice good for the goose as for the gander? Does anyone provide a photo, etc, of themselves to a prospective client? 

 

Not quite sure what you are getting at; it is usually the case the boy is an MB and as z909 points out the MB's concern is less about what the client looks like but more about his tip.

The MB visits the client, not for his looks, whilst with the client it is usually only about looks.

 

But anyway if a video call is made both can see each other.....

[kokopelli]

Yes, a video call would satisfy both parties.

[reader]

This topic has a lot of good ideas born mostly out of bad experiences associated with judging a guy by what we see in a single photo or a series of photos.  There's a lot of good advice on how to improve your chances of success but, in the end, it's still going to boil down to the moment of truth when you meet in person: you see what you're getting and he sees what he's getting. Everything up to this moment is foreplay. It's not surprising then that disappointment--on both sides--isn't uncommon.

 

Please don't get me wrong. I don't necessarily disagree with the OP. Pursuit on line reminds me of a quote accredited to--among others--Mark Twain: "distance lends enchantment."

 

GR, Hornet, Grindr or whatever app we use is subject to it. It's not a lot different than choosing a pair of shoes on line. We generally know the style and color we're looking for, the size and about how much we're willing to pay (free delivery is always a plus but we're prepared to compromise on that).  So we scan through hundreds of photos on Amazon and other retailers until we limit the search to a handful of ones we're initially attracted to. Then we check out different views of the same shoe. We read the blurbs about them and, if available, check out the reviews.

 

Now this is where the process of chasing guys diverts and we initiate chat sessions with the ones who managed to tweak our lust. This is also where it gets tricky. Is he a MB? is almost always our first assumption. No? Then why in hell is he interested in me? The Q&A goes on until one or both parties decide to cut bait or lose interest out of ambiguous replies or simple exhaustion and move on.

 

But if we're lucky, we pull the trigger and agree to meet, hopefully someplace other than our room. After the pleasure (hopefully) or shock (possibly) of greeting out date in the flesh, the interview, getting-to-know-you phase begins. In most cases, it's brief, no more than the duration of a beer or a coffee. If there's a mutual agreement to proceed, we're not home free but we are more or less committed to the prescribed course of events that got us thus far. And for many, it works out OK. But the posts above remind us that that's not always the case.

 

Not that I haven't dabbled a few times in this process with the same mixed results most readers here have. And it's also why I opt to favor the bars and massage shops because it's so much quicker and far less mentally exhausting. It's probably the same reason I always choose brick-and-mortar over the alternatives. Yes, it's still possible to get a dud but I find it's far less likely.

 

So whatever your means of pursuit, I wish you good luck and may the wind be at your back.

[ChristianPFC]

And it has happened on a variety of platforms: tonight's RentMen guy definitely mis-represented himself. A Chiang Mai masseur looked nothty ing like his pics. Two Pattaya experiences.

 

You would think that I would have become smart by now, right? Well... no. I guess my faith in the goodness of humanity ain't working out so well for me.

 

Don't worry. You are in good company.

 

A non-commercial encounter. I was in Surat Thani two years ago (?) chatting with a profile that looked very yummy and was nearby and wanted to meet. The person who arrived was just acceptable when we met outside, too fat naked in my room. Under normal circumstances I would hot have had sex, but he rushed me to my room and I was confused, so I let him play with my body. Afterwards I could not contain my curiosity any longer:

 

"Is that you in the picture? You look quite different."

"The picture is my younger brother."

"Can you send your younger brother to me next time I'm in Surat Thani?"

"He likes girls."

[Gaybutton]

In the apps, some of the "red lights" I look for, meaning forget it - I'm not going to meet him, are:

 

1.  Boys with multiple profiles

2.  Boys advertising themselves as masseurs

3.  Boys whose headless photos show different bodies

4.  Boys who have been on the apps for years, but their photos never change

5.  Boys who advertise themselves as 18, 19, or 20 years old, but their photos show they don't appear to be much older than about 15.

6.  Boys who advertise themselves as 18, 19, or 20 years old, but their photos show they are obviously much older.

7.  Boys I send a 'hello' message to, and that's all the message really says, and the response I get is "2000"

 

For those, no thanks . . .

 

Meanwhile, nearly all the boys I've met via the apps have been exactly what I expected and hoped for.   I'm still friends with many of them and see them regularly. 

 

Rarely, very rarely, I end up with a dud whose performance might be great for a necrophiliac, but not for me.  I don't complain when that has happened.  I just give him his money and scratch him off my "see him again" list.

 

Only once did I ever have a boy show up who was clearly not the boy in the profile photos.  That was about 4 or 5 years ago.  Fine with me.  I liked him much better than the boy I was expecting and I still often see him.

[Travellerdave]

As a user of a apps during my visits to Pattaya I have occasionally engaged boys whose advertisement did not do them justice. This was particularly the case with their photograph. For instance I don’t why they have “mirror” pictures that they have taken themselves. Surely they could get a friend or client to take one ?. Also just a head and shoulders one is not enough - I need to see all the body !. And why do they post an identical string of pictures ?.

[Londoner]

I've had the same experience as Travellerdave

. Part of the problem is that many guys use photos taken for Facebook or LINE for their friends; these photos may show them pulling silly faces or acting the fool. And on other occasions, I see photos which are believed by the guy to make them look sexy but appear slightly comical to me.

What appeals to me- and what  a guy, particularly a newbie thinks will engage my attention- are often very different. For one thing, a warm smile melts my heart while a fierce, provocative stare at the camera does nothing for me.

[Guest]

For one thing, a warm smile melts my heart while a fierce, provocative stare at the camera does nothing for me.

 

Rightly or wrongly, if someone is pulling faces or looking miserable in the photos, I assume he has an attitude issues & he's further down the list than someone with a nice smile.

Also, if a working lad can post a nice sequence of photos showing his face & body shop, with good grooming and a nice smile, I think it's a sign of professionalism.  

That's his shop window & if he can't take any care over that, will it be any better when he is with the client ?     

[hanan]

Let's face it, theese boys aren't exactly brain surgents so many times they don't understand the best way to promote themselves. Some of my favourite boys in Pattaya make new profiles on GR all the time because they simply get logged out and don't remember the password or constantly loose their telephones when out drinking in the discos. So I wouldn't dismiss a boy because I see he has several profiles. Rather message all his profiles and see which one he answers from.

One boy who has the most adorable smile used to only put up photos of himself looking bored and grumpy and not smiling, and then complained when I met him that he gets few farangs from the apps. I explained to him that he should put up only photos of himself smiling which he tried, and now he is very popular on the apps.