Newbies advice- bar etiquette and more

[Londoner]

I find the five or so host bars in Soi Twilight more appealing than over-priced go-go bars. For one thing, you are more likely to meet someone who speaks some English. And the costs of drinks and bar-fines tend to be a little lower. Another "plus" is that you can judge whether you want to have a drink there without leaving the soi.

The two bars at the entrance are off-bars. Further down the soi there are others.

The guys will approach you and if there's one you like (he may be the waiter who brought you your drink) merely ask him if he wants a drink himself. This will lead to...anything you want. There have been times when some of  the guys are fixated on their phones...but they are there for you.

[steveboy]

There have been times when some of  the guys are fixated on their phones...but they are there for you.

 

How times have changed!  It used to be that people were together.  Now, they are fixated on their phones... together.

[vinapu]

It used to be millennials who were glued to their phones but older generation is moving with times as well.

 

There's small playground  in front of my windows, grandmas use to watch kids playing while chatting and exchanging neighborhood gossip I presume. Those days chatter is quite reduced  as every second one seem to be glued , yes , to their phones.

 

Going to soi problems, in general I'm not against boys being glued to the screens as I see 3 advantages:

 

- I can admire them without bothering with catching  / avoiding unwanted eye contact

 

- those who are not glued  likely either have better service sense or are not affluent enough to have a phone  so chances are

  they will be keener on approving their lot by accommodating client needs better 

 

- if boy glued to the screen raises his head and smiles and me , this is what I'm looking for - smile of an interest which those

  days  is more important to me than his looks / most are good looking anyways /  and bulge / it will develop shortly anyways / 

[reader]

- if boy glued to the screen raises his head and smiles and me , this is what I'm looking for - smile of an interest which those

  days  is more important to me than his looks / most are good looking anyways /  and bulge / it will develop shortly anyways / 

 

Find this especially good indicator as I get older!

 

I'm not naive but must say I will give my Thai boys credit due on their honesty. Few times also I gave them their agreed  LT tip up front and they never tried to abuse situation , quite opposite in at least one case / always wants to leave at 5 , when paid up front turned off  his alarm in the phone  /

 

This brings up a good point.  Although I don't believe they doubt that they'll get paid the following day, boys who live hand-to-mouth--particularly in low season--experience a natural anxiety.  I don't view it as a sign of distrust from a guy I know, just normal stress that I can relieve with a simple act of trust that they'll uphold their part of the bargain. 

[spoon]

It used to be millennials who were glued to their phones but older generation is moving with times as well.

 

There's small playground in front of my windows, grandmas use to watch kids playing while chatting and exchanging neighborhood gossip I presume. Those days chatter is quite reduced as every second one seem to be glued , yes , to their phones.

 

Going to soi problems, in general I'm not against boys being glued to the screens as I see 3 advantages:

 

- I can admire them without bothering with catching / avoiding unwanted eye contact

 

- those who are not glued likely either have better service sense or are not affluent enough to have a phone so chances are

they will be keener on approving their lot by accommodating client needs better

 

- if boy glued to the screen raises his head and smiles and me , this is what I'm looking for - smile of an interest which those

days is more important to me than his looks / most are good looking anyways / and bulge / it will develop shortly anyways /

We also do that from time to time, for me itll be a nuisance only when you are in bed and they still fixating at their phone screen. Although if they dont check their phone as much would be great as they will be more focus on pleasing us, i can also make some connection with what they store in their phone, like asked them to share stories about pictures they have stored there.

[vinapu]

 

 

 

 Although I don't believe they doubt that they'll get paid the following day, boys who live hand-to-mouth--particularly in low season--experience a natural anxiety.

I'm pretty sure that from time to time they have client who tries not to pay or chat them on agreed / standard amount.

We got reports on forums about clients molesting boys   in bars and leaving 20 baht tip so it may be the same behind closed door.

 

On another hand unfortunately some boys may skip on their part of bargain as well. While my experience  almost always was very good over years I had case of boy using every antic in the book to refuse to undress ( he is still in the business ) and two who agreed to long time and after hour or so all of the sudden need to leave because wrongly parked motorbike or  something.

 

Not to mention one of boys who bargained hard in the bar to get the best tip I ever paid and still at the time of payment of off fee he announced he must go with another customer .

 

So it pays not to be too rosy eyed. But no need to get paranoid as well , In my opinion 80% of boys I offed did their best and rest bar those very few mentioned at least tried.

[vinapu]

 it'll be a nuisance only when you are in bed and they still fixating at their phone screen. Although if they dont check their phone as much would be great as they will be more focus on pleasing us, i can also make some connection with what they store in their phone, like asked them to share stories about pictures they have stored there.

I must say that in the room they always behave in this respect and can't recall even one situation when I would see the need to tell them to leave phone alone- believe me I'd be very fast to say that.

 

But you are bringing good point  about using it to make better connections with them. Always when I learn they have kids , wife , girlfriend or boyfriend  I ask to show me their pictures and it universally brings smile to their faces.

 

To gauge boy's attitude  I use TV test. If we enter  room and he looks for remote to turn the set  before he asks me I know it will be so-so meeting. On another hand if he asks or even better doesn't even pat attention to the set I know I hit the right man.

[reader]

On another hand unfortunately some boys may skip on their part of bargain as well. While my experience  almost always was very good over years I had case of boy using every antic in the book to refuse to undress...

 

So it pays not to be too rosy eyed. But no need to get paranoid as well , In my opinion 80% of boys I offed did their best and rest bar those very few mentioned at least tried.

 

Would only pay in advance if request came from a boy I've been with before.

 

About the guy who wouldn't undress, what did he think he was there for? "A little song, a little dance, a little selter down your pants"?*

 

Assumed that you paid him accordingly.

 

-------

 

* credit Chuckles the Clown (Mary Tyler Moore Show half-a-century ago).

[reader]

 

 "A little song, a little dance, a little selter down your pants"?*

 

 

"selter" was of course seltzer.  My misspelling prompted me to find out if "selter" was actually a word and learned that it's a brand (Selters) of a natural spring water from the area of the Tanus Mountains in Germany. 

 

However, I wouldn't tip if either ended up down my pants.

[vinapu]

Would only pay in advance if request came from a boy I've been with before.

 

About the guy who wouldn't undress, what did he think he was there for? "A little song, a little dance, a little selter down your pants"?*

 

Assumed that you paid him accordingly.

 

If boy asked for an advance payment for me it would be warning signal and I'd had second thoughts. Never happened, quite opposite , one I took boy from Pattaya to BKK for 5 days and up front he asked me to pay him at end so he can save money.

Smart move by every account because not only he coldn't squander it but also he had excuse to ask me for  some money here and there because he had none.

 

As for non performing boy I still paid him 1000 as a price of getting him out of door since things were getting hysterical on his side and I did not want whole hotel to rise up.

Story was reported here and if you interested I will sent you a link by PM to avoid derailing this thread . 

[Guest]

Never pay in advance.     Well, the only exception is in one of those very professionally managed boy bars in Japan, where you pay the entire bill to the bar.   Elsewhere, there is too much to go wrong.  Your boy could leave town before he earns his money, or simply not show up.

 

I've encountered refusal to undress before turning the lights off, but it is rare & is always overcome with persuasion.  

Never had a complete refusal to undress.  

[vinapu]

Never pay in advance.     Well, the only exception is in one of those very professionally managed boy bars in Japan, where you pay the entire bill to the bar.   Elsewhere, there is too much to go wrong.  Your boy could leave town before he earns his money, or simply not show up.

 

I've encountered refusal to undress before turning the lights off, but it is rare & is always overcome with persuasion.  

Never had a complete refusal to undress.  

as mentioned I paid up front few times , it worked very well but done always only with boys previously offed , routine always the same - showing him money laying on the desk / table  and telling him 'this is for you for tonight', in most cases they did not even touch money till morning   

[steveboy]

as mentioned I paid up front few times , it worked very well but done always only with boys previously offed , routine always the same - showing him money laying on the desk / table  and telling him 'this is for you for tonight', in most cases they did not even touch money till morning   

 

This laying out their money so they see it up front makes sense.  Otherwise, a request from the boy to get payed up front only shows distrust, since he is not supposed to leave and spend the money before coming back.

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

I came up with a couple of more questions.

 

1) do I need any kind of adaptor to plug in/charge my Iphone while in Thailand?

 

2) at the gay massage places, are they massages "legit" or are they more of just rub with play? I have a pinched nerve in my lower back, causing sciatic nerve pain down one leg. I enjoy a good massage  to relief the pressure/pain, but I worry about someone who doesn't really know what they are doing as they can cause more injury. 

[vinapu]

I came up with a couple of more questions.

 

1) do I need any kind of adaptor to plug in/charge my Iphone while in Thailand?

 

2) at the gay massage places, are they massages "legit" or are they more of just rub with play? I have a pinched nerve in my lower back, causing sciatic nerve pain down one leg. I enjoy a good massage  to relief the pressure/pain, but I worry about someone who doesn't really know what they are doing as they can cause more injury. 

1. if you are coming from continental Europe , no  but if from North America or UK or Australia , yes

 

2. all depends of the skills of masseur   but if I were you I'd skip massage part at least on your lower back and proceed to the afters right away, Hurt or sore muscle is one thing but pinched nerve is more serious and treatment should be left to very legit and registered place

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

Another question- I don't generally drink alcohol. When I visit the BKK gogo bars, what is the average price for a diet coke or a bottled water?

[vinapu]

Another question- I don't generally drink alcohol. When I visit the BKK gogo bars, what is the average price for a diet coke or a bottled water?

you don't know what you are missing , drink price is  the same whether it's diluted gin with tonic, beer , soda or just water. Some bars have also hot tea or cofee -highly recommended if that option is available  as one can get saturated with all those drinks very fast  while bar hopping.

 

If I recall Super A it's 150 ,  Jupiter2018 - 280, screwboys 300, Boy66-380, Tawan -400. Often price is posted outside , if not ask, is not considered bad form to ask about cost of drink, boy drink (it may be different , at Boy66 it's 400 at BoyzBoyzBoyz Pattaya, your drink is 280 but boy's whopping 450 ) and off fee, in girl bars called barfine  

[ChristianPFC]

Average price is pointless, as the range of prices is wide. In Soi Twilight bars you can often get a discount (e.g. 300 instead of 400) if you ask for it.

[kokopelli]

1. if you are coming from continental Europe , no  but if from North America or UK or Australia , yes

 

2. all depends of the skills of masseur   but if I were you I'd skip massage part at least on your lower back and proceed to the afters right away, Hurt or sore muscle is one thing but pinched nerve is more serious and treatment should be left to very legit and registered place

vinapu, I thought that all phone chargers are can use 120 or 240 volts? Also all chargers will fit a standard receptacle in Thailand.

[vinapu]

vinapu, I thought that all phone chargers are can use 120 or 240 volts? Also all chargers will fit a standard receptacle in Thailand.

very possible you are right, it will be long before I'll take phone to Thailand or in fact to any vacation so obviously never tried to load phone there

[Jasper]

You do need Travel Plug Adapters if you are from the countries with different socket system to Thailand.

I bring them for my iphone but some of higher end hotels are equipped with multiple systems sockets.

[santosh108]

vinapu:  "very possible you are right, it will be long before I'll take phone to Thailand or in fact to any vacation"

 

You don't bring a phone with you on vacation?  How do you survive in this modern day and age???

[vinapu]

 

 

You don't bring a phone with you on vacation?  How do you survive in this modern day and age???

As you see by my last trip report I survived to tell the tale and at 85 kg no sign of my expiration anytime soon , LOL 

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

Another question for my first time visit. It is in regards to massage parlors. From what I have read, is it correct to assume that with the right masseuer, anal sex can occur? If the answer is yes, whose "responsibility" is it to have condom, lube?

[forky123]

Yes (in my experience 70 to 80% of the time) and they have condom/lube but you might want to take your own to be sure.