spoon Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 As a non native english speaker here, i can understand that if an english native speaks like what numazu did, some view it as condescending, but only if it is spoken with a condescending tone, which im sure numazu dont, but u cant hear the tone in his writing. My english skills is ok i guess, dont need subtitles when watching english movies/tv, but even then i sometimes do what numazu did if the other person dont command a good english skills. and speaking english the same way the local do does help a lot for them to understand. I once tried to order ice lemon tea bottled drink in saigon cinema and the person dont understand what i say since i pronounce the ice correctly, when i show her to bottled behind her, and she "corrected" my pronunciation to the local one, aih, since they dont have 's' ending sound in their language. Funny but thats the only way to get then to understand what you are saying. Quote
numazu Posted June 21, 2017 Author Posted June 21, 2017 English! As a non native english speaker here, i can understand that if an english native speaks like what numazu did, some view it as condescending, but only if it is spoken with a condescending tone, which im sure numazu dont, but u cant hear the tone in his writing. I certainly do not start talking like that the second I talk to a non-native speaker. At the start of the conversation (every conversation) I asses what the english level is and adjust accordingly. There is nothing condescending about striving for maximum intelligibility. I find Numazu's way of speaking helps the communication flow as the Thai guys usually don't understand the bulk of the words, so focus on the important words. If you find that he speaks English better, well, it's simple enough to adjust your words to his level of understanding. English has way too many superfluous words; words which have no particular meaning but are required for grammatical accuracy. It is these words which confuse non- native speakers and makes English difficult for them to understand. Having seen Japanese struggling with English over the years, I'm talking from experience here.So I also speak in a kind of broken English, as communication is my main aim. I'm not interested in teaching them English, unless I'm speaking to one of my regulars. In that case, I'll go out of my way to improve their English.But to be honest, I haven't noticed any real improvement in the guys I teach. They don't have the opportunity to speak correct English.Besides, most guys just want to get their message across and are not interested in the intricacies of the language. Absolutely. Distilling sentences to strip off correct but complex syntax and complicated adjectives and adverbs etc, to a more basic form is key for new english speakers like MonBoy to help them understand what you are saying. While I would love to spend the time to teach MonBoy the intricacies of the English language for his benefit, my time with him is painfully short. That's why this simplification is justified. And really this shortcut I take would give us more time to do other, more sexy and fruitful things. I wouldn't say it is speaking in broken english - merely simplified english. Grammatically it is atrocious but it does get the point across really quickly. I have a friend who does the same with every Thai he meets which i find a bit silly because some Thais can speak very good english. IMHO Asians will learn better English language skills if we speak to them normally without modifying the language. Still my friend and Numazu are doing quite well connecting with the Thais and others so this is a recommendation not a criticism. i sometimes do what numazu did if the other person dont command a good english skills. and speaking english the same way the local do does help a lot for them to understand. I once tried to order ice lemon tea bottled drink in saigon cinema and the person dont understand what i say since i pronounce the ice correctly, when i show her to bottled behind her, and she "corrected" my pronunciation to the local one, aih, since they dont have 's' ending sound in their language. Funny but thats the only way to get then to understand what you are saying. I'm not painting a broad brush here, as you probably would have guessed. College educated guys (including a former Dream Boy gogo boy who graduated college) and others who have had the time to hone their english-speaking skills don't need this modification, more or less (there's still some American idioms and Americanisms that most won't get of course). As spoon had said, it is the food street vendor, the new gogo boy etc who need this modification. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. The biggest cultural export of America - Movies and TV shows, have helped in aiding non-native speakers to at least have an ear for the language, and recognize the tone, accent and delivery. But again with MonBoy, who, grew up in a farm in Myanmar with no electricity (let alone TV), this is even a luxury he can't have. Numazu has learned the art of using only the vital words when communicating with non-native English speakers, specifically Asian ones. Dare I say on occasion he has been able to milk more info that I ever could, from the same boy, when only changing his choice of words. Even I learn from Numazu. He's a master at this stuff! Jesus man, thanks for the compliment. I've had a lot of practice milking more things out of boys . vinapu and anddy 2 Quote
Boy69 Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 "Once in a while I needed to bask in his purity and innocence, and his kindness and love. I know I am not good for him, and I truly do not deserve him. I should just be content in the few moments we have together. " You got it right you 'love' BurBoy but you spend only short time with him and prefer chasing short time money boys from bars,I am in no way judging you Namzu and I admire your intresting adventures in Thailand but I am puzzled how come you so much enjoying BurBoy company but spending so little time with him... Quote
Alexx Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 Well I think it's quite understandable, his time in Bangkok this time around was very limited and he wanted to get some butterflying done as well. So many boys, so little time... Quote
Popular Post ChristianPFC Posted June 21, 2017 Popular Post Posted June 21, 2017 It is perfectly fine if people like Christian wish to speak their version of English. I mean "version"/ (for the record, having met Christian, I can't understand a word he says and I am from England, so god help a Thai boy.) But in doing that, all you will achieve is learning less about the boy you are with, and possibly worse, not communicating enough information to experience everything you could have from your paid encounter. Come on, we had a conversation as far as background noise and distractions in Soi Twilight allowed (a point I made before in this thread). I have been asked a few times by Thai boys who speak good English why I speak so slowly. I speak slowly even in German, and when I speak English with Thais, even more so to allow them to understand better. But with Thais I mostly speak Thai, and from other countries in SEA I get boys who speak good English, so these problems you (plural, numazu and samebb) describe don't apply to me. I do correct several of my Thai friend's spelling, grammar, pronunciation (after assessing if it is helpful), and as many members know, I occasionally do the same here on the forums. kokopelli, bobsaigon, vinapu and 3 others 6 Quote
a447a Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 Christian, I've never met you but if your spoken English is as good as your written English, then I doubt I'd have any trouble understanding you. You are obviously a talented linguist. bobsaigon 1 Quote
numazu Posted June 21, 2017 Author Posted June 21, 2017 Just a quick thing about BurBoy and his improving English skills: when I met him on October 2015, his English was way worse than MonBoy's was last May. Since he is not a bar boy and has no way to practice and improve his English with anyone other than me (as well as the occasional farang friend), he enrolled in English classes this year. Since then half our conversations and video calls have been to practice his English. LINE sample from this morning: Sadly I am not there in person all the time to help him with this. But at least we have technology. 1moRussian 1 Quote
spoon Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 Sounds like that is his homework for his english class lol. Its always nice to impart knowledge to the person you care about. Quote
Guest samebb Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 I should really get off my ass and keep my word. Take a couple of friend to BurBoys work and sprew English at him all night! He really is improving! Quote
Popular Post numazu Posted June 22, 2017 Author Popular Post Posted June 22, 2017 Day 3: The Trouble with Hello is Goodbye It was close to 11 PM by the time we headed back to our condo. We were in good spirits, holding hands and laughing while we slow-walked our way through Silom’s streets. Some revelers were just starting their night right now, but we had other plans. We knew that we wont see each other in the flesh for another three months, so were going to make these last few hours count. Yes I know I could just ditch MonBoy and spend one more day with BurBoy tomorrow. But that was not the point of all this. I can’t get too sucked in to this life. It really wasn’t my life. I was just on vacation. If I spend too much time with BurBoy, my mind might believe that it was possible to have a life with him. I have a life back home. MonBoy is the perfect anti-BurBoy for now. We get to the room and BurBoy immediately makes his intentions known. We don’t even get the chance to close the door when BurBoy takes my face with both hands to give me a kiss. I manage to close the door before the door alarm started to beep. BurBoy throws me on the couch and he continues to make out with me. I like it when he takes charge. A few more minutes of this and I pull away and ask him if he wanted to shower. He lets out a full-throated “No!” so we continue on the business at hand. I take off his shirt to reveal his golden brown muscular torso. I let my hands take a tour on his upper body. I massage his back while he chews on my neck. He takes off my shirt and he sucks on my nipples. He then pushes my legs up in the air and grinds on my ass to dry hump me. We were still wearing shorts but this was hot. Seeing him dominate me was a new look for him, and it was like having sex with a different person. We eventually get our shorts and underwear off as we retire to the bedroom. In the bedroom I play the submissive. I take his cock to give him pleasure. I lie on the bed and urge him to continue putting his cock in my mouth. He kneels up on the bed and feeds me his cock, with his hands up on the bed frame. He seems to be enjoying fucking my face. I chuck wow myself while enjoying his muscular frame labor to thrust in and out. I do not deserve such beauty. He takes the condoms on the nightstand and wraps his cock with it. He then takes the lube to grease himself up. He then gets on the bed and with me still lying down, he puts a finger up my ass and greases me up. He puts my legs on his shoulders and slowly, but surely, puts his cock in. I was primed from last night so it was an easier time now. When he got the whole thing in, he leans down to kiss me. He thrusts in and out and he continues to kiss me. I chuck wow while he fucks me. I am enjoying this slightly. Maybe he is turning me into a bottom. After a while the sensation gets to me. I cum all over my chest. He pulls out to chuck wow on my face. I take it all. We take a shower afterwards and again he takes care of me by soaping me up and making sure my ass is clean. We dry up and put on underwear and plop back on the couch. We eat the last of the snacks and beers as we watch more movies. This is the ultimate boyfriend experience for both of us. We laugh and kiss and cuddle. At 1 AM we retire to the bed and cuddle some more. We wake up to the alarm at 8:30 AM. Since I was meeting up with MonBoy at 11 AM I wanted enough time with BurBoy to have breakfast and say goodbye. He yells the familiar: “Good morning!” while stretching on me. I ask him what he will do today. He said he hopes to get back to sleep after I leave, because there was a big concert at his restaurant tonight, and he will need all the energy he has. Concerts are always big tip nights for him, so he is motivated to go to work tonight. So the usual shower together was our next step. We fooled around a bit in the shower but nothing too intense. Sometimes being intimate is all that’s needed. We dry off and I pack my shit up in less than 5 minutes. We head out to get some quick breakfast and coffee to take back to the room. I had something planned in the waning moments of our time together and having it over food and coffee sounded good. We get on Soi 3 and choose to get some pastries at Home Bread, which was just next door. We have been waiting to try this out but never had a chance to. We choose from a variety of great looking (and smelling) options we had. A sampling from the internet: As per usual for me I choose one savory (a ham and cheese croissant) and a sweet (a pain de chocolat) pastry. BurBoy opts for the same (a mushroom and cheese bread and a cream filled éclair). We cross the street to get our favorite iced coffees for 35 baht each, and we head back to the room. This was much better that our usual McDonalds or even Foodland breakfasts. While we eat on the little dining room table in the condo, I take out my last birthday present for him. I had a 5 year old portable travel laptop (11-inch, 3rd Generation Intel processor, Windows 8 that I have not used for 2 years and was just sitting in my study for the longest time. Last week I revived it and wiped out all the files from it, and put in a fresh new OS and Microsoft applications and some games in it. I thought about giving my old laptop to BurBoy after he sent me this photos he took 2 weeks ago of his English class: He was learning how to type in a computer, in English. He was sort of dismayed with his words per minute typing rate, but of course I was proud of him having made this leap in the first place. He has not had a formal education and has been working all his life. For the cost of 800 baht for a 3-month English course, he is able to go to “school” part-time. It is cheap because it is part of the “Dear Burma Academy”, which is a school for Burmese migrant workers living in Bangkok <link>. I love that there is this program that is cheap enough for Burmese workers to take advantage of, and going by how BurBoy’s English has been improving weekly, it is also pretty good. So I wanted to give him this laptop so he can practice at home (as well as have a bigger screen to look at YouTube videos). I set it on the table and powered it up. I already made a login for him with a password that he could remember. I told him that I was giving this to him so he can put in his schoolwork in here. He refused at first, but I told him that this is all I could do to support him in his education. He hugs me and kisses me, and appreciated the gift. He fiddles around with it first and I guide him on the numerous desktop shortcuts I put for him. I reminded him that he can use his mobile phone’s internet to power the laptop, and after a few clicks we were able to connect and the laptop was his. As we finish our breakfast, he puts on YouTube, as I predicted, and he puts on a Myanmar music channel. As we finish our food and listen to the music, I think for a minute if I should just tell BurBoy that I was staying another day. No, It would be too suspicious. I knew he was looking forward to working the concert tonight. I seal the deal by LINEing MonBoy to tell him that I was going to be at the Crowne Plaza at 11 AM and to meet me there. No reply, he is probably still asleep. We wrap up breakfast and clean around the condo a little bit before our departure. Before we leave I say my boyfriend goodbyes by kissing him and hugging him tight. I wasn’t going to see him for three months so I wanted to make it count. Some tears in both our eyes but it was not as bad as an airport goodbye. We leave the condo unit and at the mailroom drop off the condo keycards. I WhatsApp the owner that I was leaving and thanked him for the stay. We get to Soi 3 and BurBoy was able to hail a taxi. He tells the driver that we were going to Suvanabhumi airport, with a stopover at the Lumpihini MRT station so that BurBoy can take it to Chatuchak station near his room. We hold hands and in 5 minutes it was BurBoy’s stop. He kisses me full-on in the lips and hurries out of the cab. A brisk goodbye was probably warranted for today. It gets harder and harder to say goodbye to him, but I have no choice. This was the kind of relationship that I wanted for him and me, and he is a willing participant. It’s still worth it. But there was no time to linger in this melancholy. I had to shift gears quickly. There was MonBoy to contend with. I look at my LINE and see a brief reply from MonBoy. He says he was fine and will see me at 11 at Crowne Plaza. I was a third of the way to Suvarnabhumi when I asked the taxi driver to turn around and take me to the Crowne Plaza instead. No use keeping up with the charade anymore. BurBoy was on his way back home to nap and be energized for work. The taxi driver agrees and exits the highway and enters it on the other side, back to Silom. In 15 minutes I was back, and back to the very familiar Crowne Plaza driveway. I get my usual greetings and check-in was even faster than two days ago. They give me a deluxe room this time, which was smaller than the suite but it was only going to be MonBoy and myself. I look at the time and it was 10:50 AM. It was almost time to receive MonBoy. I wait till 11:10 AM and look at my phone and don’t see anything from MonBoy. I text him with no reply. I call him and no answer. At 11:30 AM still nothing. What the hell was going on? I text samebb and ask him to give me MonBoy's cousin’s LINE. I text his cousin, who is also his roommate, to ask where was MonBoy. After 5 minutes he replies, with some greetings, and then a photo of MonBoy, fast asleep in the bed. I ask the cousin why was he sleeping? We had an appointment at 11 AM! The cousin apologizes and asks if he should wake MonBoy up. I tell him no. He has broken another promise. I tell the cousin I didn’t want to see MonBoy anymore. What happens next? ChristianPFC, reader, 1moRussian and 5 others 8 Quote
vinapu Posted June 22, 2017 Posted June 22, 2017 Christian, I've never met you but if your spoken English is as good as your written English, then I doubt I'd have any trouble understanding you. You are obviously a talented linguist. that's right, Christian even speaks German ! On serious note , having met Christian quite a few times I certify that his spoken English is a good as his written one ./ Stamp and signature here / Quote
vinapu Posted June 22, 2017 Posted June 22, 2017 The cousin apologizes and asks if he should wake MonBoy up. I tell him no. He has broken another promise. I tell the cousin I didn’t want to see MonBoy anymore. You know better but I think you are being too harsh on MonBoy. Either you like him or you don't. I doubt it will teach him any lesson, for him it will be just another farang who changed his mind even if fault is his , no doubt. But I like your trademark suspension "What happens next ?" 1moRussian, aussie_ and ChristianPFC 3 Quote
ChristianPFC Posted June 22, 2017 Posted June 22, 2017 Day 3: The Trouble with Hello is Goodbye I thought about giving my old laptop to BurBoy after he sent me this photos he took 2 weeks ago of his English class: He was learning how to type in a computer, in English. He was sort of dismayed with his words per minute typing rate, but of course I was proud of him having made this leap in the first place. He has not had a formal education and has been working all his life. For the cost of 800 baht for a 3-month English course, he is able to go to “school” part-time. It is cheap because it is part of the “Dear Burma Academy”, which is a school for Burmese migrant workers living in Bangkok <link>. I love that there is this program that is cheap enough for Burmese workers to take advantage of, and going by how BurBoy’s English has been improving weekly, it is also pretty good.... He tells the driver that we were going to Suvanabhumi airport, with a stopover at the Lumpihini MRT station so that BurBoy can take it to Chatuchak station near his room. ... I was a third of the way to Suvarnabhumi when I asked the taxi driver to turn around and take me to the Crowne Plaza instead. No use keeping up with the charade anymore. BurBoy was on his way back home to nap and be energized for work. The taxi driver agrees and exits the highway and enters it on the other side, back to Silom. In 15 minutes I was back, and back to the very familiar Crowne Plaza driveway. I get my usual greetings and check-in was even faster than two days ago. .... I text samebb and ask him to give me MonBoy's cousin’s LINE. I text his cousin, who is also his roommate, to ask where was MonBoy. After 5 minutes he replies, with some greetings, and then a photo of MonBoy, fast asleep in the bed. I ask the cousin why was he sleeping? We had an appointment at 11 AM! The cousin apologizes and asks if he should wake MonBoy up. I tell him no. He has broken another promise. I tell the cousin I didn’t want to see MonBoy anymore. What happens next? I am impressed that they tech touch-typing in English. I don't know if it is taught anywhere in regular school, I took evening classes to learn touch-typing. I get the occasional Thai boy asking me to teach him English. After attending English classes at school for years without learning anything, they think I take out a magic wand and wield it, and suddenly, without any effort, he can speak English! Whereas the Burmese boy and the Lao boy in Klong Toey make some effort on their own to learn, and had some vocabulary before we met. I sometimes have the same problem with saying goodbye, when I don't directly go home, but meet another boy or go to a sauna, but don't want to upset the boy I'm saying goodbye to. I too took taxi to Sathorn (when the boy stood next to me and could hear what I say to taxi driver), and then diverted to elsewhere. But packing and checking out of hotel and getting on highway is the ultimate deception! You have to remember not to post on facebook, log in on gay dating, or online chat with others. I wonder if BurBoy got the info from somewhere that you stayed another night and had another boy. In Pattaya, it would be impossible for me to pull that trick, telling a boy I go to Bangkok to day and stay another night to meet another boy. You are too hard to MonBoy. Firstly, whatever time he goes to bed (let's assume 5 am), sleeping at 11am is ok by my standards. Secondly, I treat appointments as loose intentions to meet. If I had a Baht for each time a boy was late or no show, I could retire! faranglaw, vinapu and aussie_ 3 Quote
spoon Posted June 22, 2017 Posted June 22, 2017 I guess with burboy as he isnt a money boy, and doesnt work in gogobars, chances of him figuring out is less, and reading through his encounters before, burboy kinda know but chose to ignore that numazu isnt mutually exclusive for him alone (the hickey incident comes to mind lol) Given that numazu had actually postponed his flight, and monboy is aware of this fact, and also forgoes the possibility of a longer time spent with burboy, i understand his frustration at monboy for not keeping his end of the bargain. Id reserve my comments further waiting for what happens next ggobkk, paulsf and 1moRussian 3 Quote
ggobkk Posted June 22, 2017 Posted June 22, 2017 Yes, best to wait...Numazu is a master of the cliff hanger last paragraph/sentence (which is a skill I can only wish for...). I can't imagine he will let the Crowne Plaza accommodation go to waste. Quote
Creditisdue Posted June 22, 2017 Posted June 22, 2017 He's a master of pacing too. Stories are neatly one theme. Quote
1moRussian Posted June 22, 2017 Posted June 22, 2017 just another farangI've already had this question - numazu, do they use 'farang' word to you too? You are an American, so certainly you qualify for a farang, but you are Asian, so you are not a farang And if numazu doesn't object, another language related picture: (but with a Lao boy, not Burmese) PS I saw "how do you think" recently at another boy's Instagram, must be Thai language influence. Actually, in Russian it's possible to say both: what/how do you think vinapu 1 Quote
bucknaway Posted June 22, 2017 Posted June 22, 2017 Numazu, I cringe when you post about getting caught up in the moment and daydream about a life with your short time romances. If I were in your husband's place, I'd begin to wonder when you will meet the one that would win you over and take you away? I'm not the jealous type but I would start comparing how you treat your holiday lovers and how you treat your man at home. When I was in a relationship and talked to my lovers former boyfriend and heard things that he did for him but not with me, it stayed in the back of my mind. I think your man deserves something special from you. Even of that something is treating him like a King every day of the week. Feed him peeled grapes when he is resting, rub his feet when he gets home, fan him with an ostrich feather when he could do with a gentle breeze. You know what, I'm not going to thank you for these posts. I'm going to thank the one that loves you enough to allow you to explore and share your adventures with the world. So thank you -- The man who is the wind beneath his wimgs. bobsaigon, AlexThompson and rollingstone 3 Quote
GWMinUS Posted June 23, 2017 Posted June 23, 2017 I think your man deserves something special from you. Even of that something is treating him like a King every day of the week. Feed him peeled grapes when he is resting, rub his feet when he gets home, fan him with an ostrich feather when he could do with a gentle breeze. Bucky, if I give you my Partner's email address, will you tell him all of that??? bucknaway 1 Quote
numazu Posted June 23, 2017 Author Posted June 23, 2017 Numazu, I cringe when you post about getting caught up in the moment and daydream about a life with your short time romances. If I were in your husband's place, I'd begin to wonder when you will meet the one that would win you over and take you away? I'm not the jealous type but I would start comparing how you treat your holiday lovers and how you treat your man at home. When I was in a relationship and talked to my lovers former boyfriend and heard things that he did for him but not with me, it stayed in the back of my mind. Thank you for this thoughtful post. It is hard to speculate about the other parts of my life, because these are the only events I share with you, the days that I am in Bangkok for the report. Its funny, this trip is only 3 days out of my life, and if you average all the days that I spend in Thailand in all the years I've been to this wonderful country, it only accounts for 8% of my life. What do I do in the other 92%? You guys don't know of course, but its fun to speculate. I don't want to get into any specifics, because this part of my life is private, but I'll just say that, in general, relationships look weird or strange to everyone except for the people actually in it. We are all different people, with different needs and desires, as well as insecurities and hangups. Some may choose total monogamy, some may choose total codependence. We both chose this type of relationship because it works for us, and it is not based on any other person's view of what a relationship needs to be. I happen to have met the perfect person for me, 9 years ago, who just gets me, and me him. It's hard to find such a person, but I did, and that's why it has lasted this long. He knows and I know that the heart (and my heart in particular) is capable of so much love. You guys don't know if he is doing this as well. You wouldn't, because I never talk about him at all in those terms. I think your man deserves something special from you. Even of that something is treating him like a King every day of the week. Feed him peeled grapes when he is resting, rub his feet when he gets home, fan him with an ostrich feather when he could do with a gentle breeze. I have not talked about how I treat my boyfriend. Who is to say that I don't do these things for him already, or if he even is the type of person who likes these things done for him? You can only guess about the relationship of course, which is fine. All i can say is my BF is a rockstar, and I treat him as such . So thank you -- The man who is the wind beneath his wimgs. He has read your post. He says he doesn't need any thanks. But I personally appreciate the gesture. He deserves all the thanks for putting up with me. I'm actually starting to feel very sorry for BurBoy. Why do you feel sorry for him? I have a feeling that through these trip reports, I am becoming the villain in my own life story. And I don't blame those who think so. Maybe I'm just too hedonistic for a lot of people, or they feel that I am mistreating my loved ones. My suggestion is to just treat these trip reports as a window into my own thoughts and activities on the days mentioned. Any other conclusions that you may guess about my BF and BurBoy are not mine and may not reflect reality, unless you actually know these two and have talked to them. I'll get to the others later! These two were doozies . Creditisdue, bucknaway, vinapu and 1 other 4 Quote
vinapu Posted June 23, 2017 Posted June 23, 2017 I have a feeling that through these trip reports, I am becoming the villain in my own life story. I don't think so. Since all we know about you comes from your reports, inevitably readers are invited to compare, based on what you tell them, their experiences with yours and at times feel need to underline differences whether it comes to relationship, offs or simply way of spending vacation time. Suggestion that this or that could be handled differently is not even criticism , it's just showing the other window. eurasian 1 Quote
bobsaigon Posted June 23, 2017 Posted June 23, 2017 A response, in general, to Bucky’s concerns, but definitely not directed at Numazu, since none of us is privy to his intentions; nor are we qualified to comment on his intentions or put any sort of label, polyamorous or otherwise, on his relationships. We can just enjoy his exceptionally entertaining reports. I’m just offering this as an example of how we as human beings, can satisfy our longings to connect with each other: From the Urban Dictionary: Polyamorous = having multiple commited relationships with people you are mutally in love with, and everyone wants it to be that way. This is not to be confused with swinging or multiple relationships, where you are sleeping with the other people or they are friends with bennies, whom you love. That is called non-monogamy, and to say it is polyamory is a lie. "I told Brad I'm in love with him, and my husband Rick is very happy for us." "That's cheating!" "No, we're polyamorous. You can only cheat on rules that exist. We don't have an agreement to be exclusive. But an example of me cheating would be to not tell Rick that I'm in love with Brad, because the rule of honesty is right up there with the rule that the primary relationship comes first" Quote
Guest ronnie4you Posted June 23, 2017 Posted June 23, 2017 Before my now husband was able to travel to Thailand with me, I made 14 trips without him. He always knew what I was up to as I told him about my day and something about the guys I met. When I came home, he got to see the pictures. So, like Numazu, I was able to travel even though my partner could not. 14 times! This started in 1987. He has made the last 3 trips with me, so now I am up to 17 trips. We help each other make selections at the bar or sauna. From all of the 14 solo trips, each time I came home to him. My heart is and was with him, and we are coming up on our 35th anniversary. This is just to back up the idea that some relationships can support outside sex, and sex junkets! Although I traveled within Thailand as much as I could, and saw quite a bit of the sites, so it was not strictly sex tourism. Quote
ggobkk Posted June 23, 2017 Posted June 23, 2017 I had the pleasure of meeting Numazu and BurBoy last year. Numazu is living his life, we are permitted to join in with what he shares on the Forum. I'm grateful for that and recognize that every life is complex and there can be messiness to match the high points.. I enjoy Numazu's working things through come what may. paulsf 1 Quote
bucknaway Posted June 23, 2017 Posted June 23, 2017 I hope the post is not derailing. I just wanted to share some feedback With Numazu. I enjoy his posts so much that I look for an update every time I visit the board. I wasn't pointing fingers, I was just talking back to my computer screen the way many of us talk back to the tv when watching a show or movie we get caught up in. Quote