abidismaili Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 When you go to Thailand a few times every year your family and collegues will of course start to get the (correct!) idea you are a sex tourist. But many will not reply "I go for sex, I will fuck a few boys every day and then fly back" to the question "Why you go again to Thailand". I am out of excuses, basically don't answer that question anymore, just smile. But what do your guys answer to these recurring questions from collegues or family? I can need some tips. Another one: you think they believe your answer? Or is it a 'we know why you go but we do not talk about it' situation in your case? Quote
Guest ryanasia Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 I like to fuck smooth boy butt. It gets awkward at times. Quote
Vessey Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 I tell everyone that I have a girlfriend over there and that I see her each trip. And its kinda true, I do usually see that same girl each trip, but usually just the one day (or part of one day). The fact that she is 'girlfriend' to quite a number of other guys is, of course, entirely immaterial! LOL But I ensure that I take a few photos of her as well each trip. Sad thing is that my old Dad always asks after her - I do feel guilty of course, but given his strident views on 'homosexuals and queers' I console myself that actually its far better that he doesn't know what I get up to on all those other days. LOL ChristianPFC 1 Quote
Guest abang1961 Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 I really do not mask the REAL reason for frequenting Thailand. My guilt/indulgence is Thai food and that special dish, Stewed Pig Trotters (plus all the wonderful Thai street food). Getting laid is just a bonus for me. Both reasons are yummilicous - salivating now cos I am just one day away from that! Quote
paulfort Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 To be honest sad as it is, I alternate my "official/honest trips" to some friends and work collugueas so efectivly whilt I normally vist Thiland twice a year, I make up some fictitious local trip to a near Europeon popular destinations every other time, then moan about how expensive it was and poor value compared to Thailand - then next visit I admit to Thailand! colmx 1 Quote
ggobkk Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 I don't think anyone cares other than to make conversation...I often stop on the way in another country, so have the option of mentioning that. And, I like to take side trips out of Bangkok...so another option...again if someone is actually interested. Quote
Guest 2guys Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 Shopping trip to Bangkok to have shirts made. I didn't mention I'm also going to Pattaya. Quote
steveboy Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 I really do not mask the REAL reason for frequenting Thailand. My guilt/indulgence is Thai food and that special dish, Stewed Pig Trotters (plus all the wonderful Thai street food). Getting laid is just a bonus for me. Both reasons are yummilicous - salivating now cos I am just one day away from that! Do you REALLY give more importance to your trip to eat a piece of dead animal over the pleasure to enjoy living male Thai flesh? ChristianPFC 1 Quote
steveboy Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 I have visited many Asian cities, but I have good apparent reasons to fly to Bangkok over and over: - There are many interesting places to visit in Thailand, even after repeated visits - Thai people are very friendly, many understand English. - Crime in Thailand is low, and I feel more secure than in other places. - The exchange rate with the dollar is good, the cost of hotels, food, etc. is much lower than in other places - After multiple visits I know my way around, so I don't need much preparation for a successful vacation. - Thailand is a preferred land for tourism, and the reasons for this are real. ----- Quote
numazu Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 Depends on the asker, but I generally have no shame on why I go here: Boyfriend: knows everything, reads my trip reports but prefers not to, full disclosure if he asks, but he usually doesn't ask Close friends: some read my trip reports, have one or two that also do sex tourist things, but not as often as I do, partial disclosure depending on sensibilities Casual friends, family and coworkers: I go for the food, for the tourism, for the beaches, shopping, bespoke tailoring etc, which is partially true. They don't know my full life so they don't have to know the full extent of this as well Facebook friends: no one asks about the sex tourist stuff, I don't post about sex tourist stuff, only the touristy things The TSA and USA Immigration and customs: beaches, tourism, shopping. Can't fully disclose obviously. Quote
Brummbaer Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 As Abang keeps mentioning that the caucasians he prefers are more interested in asians half his age, I do believe him going for the food. Then, being only 2 hours away and cheap flights being offered between Thailand and Singapore... I myself am "out" to most of the people in my life and workplace and they know my boyfriend lives in Thailand. So they are happy for me to visit him ever so often. Quote
pong Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 My mother always went for 4-6 weeks to Spain in mid-winter-by bus, taking 12-14 hrs. For the sun. She always said: dont call, dont fear, if anything happens I take the initiative. I do the same-I fly 10-12 hrs. Quote
vinapu Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 Most of my trips to Thailand were on my way to/from other countries in the region so I simply dwell more on other destinations in my tales and Thailand is known to my friends and family as just a place where I change planes and spent just a day or two. Since I'm coming from well traveled family and most of my friends are well traveled as well we are rarely talking about our trips to Thailand as everybody was there so is not such exotic destination to my folks to ask too many question why and what I was doing there. ChristianPFC 1 Quote
abidismaili Posted November 28, 2016 Author Posted November 28, 2016 Question for Numazu: so you tell your casual friends you go for the food, weather etc. You need to tell that a few times every year. That is what I did. But after a few visits I receive looks from colleagues that they don't believe it. They make remarks like "ah, boys and ladyboys". Why is it with you after all these years they believe you go for beach and stuff and with me after going only a few times I start getting looks that they don't buy it. Why do they believe you? And not me? You are lucky. And why not disclose it at TSA. What we do is not illegal. Quote
Guest Jason105 Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 For the first few years/visits it was all about the clothes. I had tailor-made suits, shirts, shoes, pajamas.....all for a fraction of the cost in the US. Also, I still maintain that a vacation in LOS is much more economical than anywhere I would consider going. The value that you receive for the money is more than enough incentive. The exchange rate makes it even more attractive. Then I mention the fact that I get a foot massage every day (I sometimes add that I get the occasional "full-body" massage as well) Then I talk about the truly delicious, authentic and inexpensive Thai food that I love. When I pass through customs in the US I simply say that I was on a much-needed vacation. All of the above is true and more than enough reason for a rational person to accept. If they choose to think/opine that sex is involved that is their business, I neither confirm or deny since what I do in LOS is my business. Here's to "truth in advertising" without the burden of the "whole truth" part. Quote
ozmouse Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 Tis true i do not visit LOS just for sex tourism. So i always say food great hotels, beachs shopping etc etc. and it is usually always on the way to somewhere else as well (laos in april). I also mention it is a great international cutting edge city now... fine dining has replace street food. Plus it is also a very gay friendly destination, as opposed to japan where we are asked about sleeping arrangements. I also mention im not inventing the wheel anymore... to go to a places you are familar, removes so much stress out of your holiday. But i know what you mean... i had some friend enquiry rather strongly why bkk all the time. I pointed out great prices i get, the hotels i get, the food (yes i chase down the dead flesh) my facebook posts are all about the food. It doesnt take much convincing. From australia,It is cheaper for me to fly and holiday in BKK than it is for bali. Quote
Londoner Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 Boyfriend. I'm too old to give a damn. Quote
Joeblack Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 Well... Thailand is good for food, good for shopping, tailoring of shirts and suits... indulging in rich Buddhist culture, exploring the less visited tourist places... as wel as therapeutic massages and spa treatments!! Quote
Guest abang1961 Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 Do you REALLY give more importance to your trip to eat a piece of dead animal over the pleasure to enjoy living male Thai flesh? Steve baby You are 100% ignorant of my preference. I really don't go to Thailand for the boys...I am Asian and a REAL potato queen. So those forum-users who like Asian, perhaps we can meet up for a meal/drink. Quote
anddy Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 I am out of excuses, being out of excuses can only happen when you try to make a new one for every trip. If you stick to the same one (or combination of several of the very good ones already mentioned here) then it becomes more credible. In fact, then you can claim you have found the love of your life in terms of travel destinations, which is actually true (never mind that the love has also to do with more carnal things lol). For me, the reason has always been the whole package consisting of - the culture - the friendly people - the amazing food (which always high on my agenda for any country I visit) - the climate (which I do like, I like hot climates) - the beauty of the country, be it beaches, temples, mountains, ... - the amazing and super inexpensive massages - the ease of doing just about anything (the Thai expression would be sabai-sabai for those who know what that means) These are enough reasons for some people (including myself) to permanently move here. No one ever doubts these reasons are real (which they are) Yes the boys and their liking for the westerner are a HUGE bonus, but by no means the only or even a sufficient reason to move here. With boys I mean just regular boys I can pick up, say, at DJ Station or on the apps, not paid sex, which also has never been and still is not on my agenda (though it does happen, too, of course, or else I wouldn't be frequenting this board lol, but it doesn't have much priority). ChristianPFC 1 Quote
Popular Post NIrishGuy Posted November 28, 2016 Popular Post Posted November 28, 2016 This thread is quite saddening that even now some gay people don't feel able or willing to be at ease with others ( and themselves) enough perhaps to be open and honest with the world in general about their every day lives if asked by people they care enough to give an answer to. I do understand that some people aren't "out" and I guess that's a reason to be cautious etc but if that's not the case then what's wrong with just saying the truth i.e I go for a nice holiday as I love it there and if pushed then adding "and as I meet loads of cute guys" and if pushed further then " and yes for lots of hot sex with those same cute guys too", Or if feeling a little less open than that and don't want to enter into the conversation then what's wrong with "I go for a holiday and to have lots of fun" - and if they reply with some dig or knowing smile with "ahhh but what SORTS of fun" a simple answer of "well what sort of fun do YOU think I mean " and a quizzical telling off look on your face meaning "so if you seemingly already think you know then why the fuck are you asking me anyway ?" Personally I refuse to let ANYONE shame me into having to tell lies about who I am, I'll either happily tell the absolute truth if I feel I want to and feel it's a conversation I want / can be bothered having - or if it's not then I've obviously deemed to it to be none of their fucking business and so they don't deserve any sort a sensible answer other than " I go cause I like it there" anyway. Fuck the guilty and secrecy, life's to short and in my experience no one REALLY gives a fuck anyway and if asked in a group and you try to hide it you get them all nudging each other with a knowing "ahhhh I knew it" smile at your expense, whereas if you reply "I go as I just love the lady boys there" you'll normally get a moments silence, followed by a hesitation and then a collective "oh well, good for you mate, whatever makes you happy" - closely followed by at least one of the group coming up to you privately later to ask a) were you serious back there and when you say you were then starting to tell YOU about HIS secret holidays when he was fucked senseless by a lady boy and loved it and then asking you not to tell anyone ! And finally there's usually ONE person in that group who will strut off with a "well I don't care I think it's disgusting" going on - and THEY are the one's who you can bet are living the biggest lie of all and are out in gay saunas and cruising in public parks and toilets and doing stuff that half of us wouldn't be caught doing ever. So, fuck other people and their judgements and (fake) shocked attitudes, lifes to short to give a shit what others think and they're all just as scared as we are that we give a shit about THEIR dark and dirty secrets - which of course we absolutely don't anyway ! JackR, ChristianPFC, Brummbaer and 3 others 6 Quote
vinapu Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 Why is it with you after all these years they believe you go for beach and stuff and with me after going only a few times I start getting looks that they don't buy it. Why do they believe you? And not me? You are lucky. may be due to the age difference? Quote
steveboy Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 This thread is quite saddening that even now some gay people don't feel able or willing to be at ease with others ( and themselves) enough perhaps to be open and honest with the world in general about their every day lives if asked by people they care enough to give an answer to. ------ So, fuck other people and their judgements and (fake) shocked attitudes, lifes to short to give a shit what others think and they're all just as scared as we are that we give a shit about THEIR dark and dirty secrets - which of course we absolutely don't anyway ! I am surprised by the angry tone of your post. Why would you find "saddening" that some people (and not only gays) don't open up all their private stuff with others (allegedly to be "at ease"?) when asked questions? You have a problem with privacy? I am perfectly at ease preserving my privacy even when there is no gain in that. You have not presented any argument, any reason why one should reveal everything to anybody who cares to ask, except "to be at ease", and I don't buy that argument. Similarly, I don't buy this guilt trip that if one is RESERVED one is LYING. There are many ways to not give some information that are not outright lies. And this thread has prompted some good responses from posters. If you like to be completely open, unencumbered, out of the closet, good for you. But I can see some lack of consideration to others in this, and I also find it kind of dumb and unnecessary. Phet, Ramzes and vinapu 3 Quote
abidismaili Posted November 29, 2016 Author Posted November 29, 2016 .... I think you misread the responses from people. This is not about being in the closet about being gay. Most are out of the closet I am sure. It is about being in the closet for being a sex tourist. It is maybe sad this is needed, but it is a big taboo. I don't know any sex tourist who is open to family and collegues about this part of his live. It is pretty standard to keep it a secret. I find it hard to believe you tell your collegues and father, mother, brother, sister that you go to Thailand as a sex tourist. I think even you lie about that when they ask you. Your father and mother know you are a sex tourist? Your boss knows? Really? Quote
paulsf Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 I'm retired so no bosses. My parents passed on long ago. I have 2 sisters that know why I spend 6 months in Thailand. Again, everybody is different. If I was 30, maybe I would think differently, but pushing 70 what am I supposed to be afraid of if somebody knows I have sex in Thailand. Abidismaili I'm sorry everybody in your life wants to know what you do with your private time. . My friends and family are just happy to see me happy I still can travel and have some great trips. They don't question or judge me. I know of a few others that post that are very open to others. So even though you have problems, don't say we all do. DivineMadman 1 Quote