Guest homtom Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 UPDATE TO MY POSTING __ MY MEETING A KIND AND NICE YOUNG THAI GUY. I have been writing this update for over a week now and also because of the death of the king i held back from posting it,I will try to keep this as short as i can and i have taken note that a comment was made on one of my posts that it is like reading a book. I am sorry for being so long winded with everything. _________________________________________________________________ On the day i had the fall and when i woke up around 8.30 pm that evening my ankle was still quite sore however i made something to eat and took my phone off the charge , switching it on i seen that i had 4 missed calls. Checking who they were from they all were from that young man who assisted me. The last call had been about 1 hour earlier, i deliberated for a little while wondering if i would call him back or not. However maybe 15 minutes latter the phone rang again and it was him calling. On answering he said he was checking i was ok and he was worried about me because my phone was "closed " asked if i was still ok and did i need any thing he could help with. I told him i was managing ok so far but my ankle was much the same no better and no worse. He said i should go to the hospital and have it checked and to get "medicine" for it. I told him i would see how it was in the morning before deciding to go to a hospital or not. He replied ok up to you but please call him if i needed help. I said i would do , we ended the call. About 11 pm that same night a sms message came when i looked it was from him it just said __ goodnight take care miss you __ . I smiled to myself seeing the sms , had a shower best i could ( mostly on 1 leg keeping weight off the right foot) and watched a bit of tv then went back to bed. To my utter surprise at around 10.00 /10.30 the next morning he called my phone again, asking how i was , did i sleep ok and how was my "leg" then said he was at his friends in jomtein and would it be ok for him to come to my room and help me go to the hospital. I told him i thought i would not go to a hospital just yet but wait a bit longer the day and see if my ankle improved. Then he said would it still be ok for him to come and see me because he wanted to see me and talk as he had a big problem. On hearing him say all this i was a bit unsure what to reply immediately .. i needed a minute to get my thoughts together so i said " oh excuse me for just a moment i have to go to the bathroom quickly, dont go away" My mind was racing thinking is this boy up to something or was he a realy caring young man, being friendly or was he being overly friendly. . I waited for a minute or so then said ok you come over when you want but i think you will have to give the security guy your id card before they will let you in. He said no problem he has a id card and he knows that all buildings for "farang" ask for id from thai. I told him my unit number and said i would let security know he was comming. I phoned the building office telling them i was expecting a young man visitor shortly and would they let the security guy in the foyer know it was ok to let him come up to my unit. About 45 minutes latter he knocked on my door. We greeted each other i said it was nice to see him again but he should not worry as i am doing ok. I noticed he was carrying a small plasic bag , I asked him to sit on the sofa and did he want something to drink, at the same time i told him i dont drink alchohol or have any beer but have water or orange juice. He said he did not want , then reaching into the plasic bag he pulled out a full bottle of water and a small foam box. Lo and behold he opend the box showing me white rice and what looked like chicken . I laughed seeing this saying are you hungry ? he said it was his breakfast. I just replied its a bit late for breakfast better make it your lunch instead. I told him to eat it first before it got cold and we can talk when he is finished . When he finally got around to telling me why he wanted to see me he said ___ his friend he is sharing the room with has to go back to his home because his mother is very sick, and the room rent is 6000 bart a month plus services and he cannot afford to stay there by himself as his salary is not enough. I aksed him what his actual salary was and he dodged around telling me , i got the distinct impression he did not want to tell me so i did not push any more to find out. After a bit more small talk he blurted out " could he stay in my unit for a little while until he found a room for himself that he could afford". Hearing him ask that i was really shocked as i did not have any plans to have or enter into a live in type of relationship , especially with another male less than half my age. I did not and still do not understand much about Thailand and the thai culture and how it all works here . I told him ok he can stay here only until he finds a room for himself, even tho I knew i should have said NO. He stayed for about 2 hours or so then said he would go back and collect his belongings and come back in the afternoon to stay. FAST FORWARDING__ he had been staying for close to 2 weeks unfortunately after the first day he stated to ask me for money. _____ 3000 for the share of the months rent for the room he shared before.___ 2000 for new shirts for his work ____ 2000 for a party for his friends birthday __ 3000 for his father to have the motor cycle engine repaired___ 4000 to have a new screen on his iphone because he had dropped it and broke screen. 2000 for new battery for the same phone___ Then the final ask was FOR 10000 so his father could pay back the loan shark he got money from for planting rice on the farm. When i said i was unable to Loan him that amount he became very angry with me saying "i did not love him" I replied " I like you very very much but i i am sorry you dont understand my situation as I only agreed to let you stay for short term until you found a new room for yourself" He replied " dont you want me to stay here any longer" I said nothing as i did not want to add fuel to the fire so to speak, I have never been in an altercation like this with any male before ___ HE THEN WENT TO THE BEDROOM AND STARTED TO SHOVE ALL HIS CLOTHES INTO PLASTIC BAGS THROWING THE COAT HANGERS ACROSS THE ROOM IN ANGER. I told him to calm down and be reasonable and not to make things more uncomfortable than they were for both of us. He just gave me a dirty look and glared at me. When he was leaving he threw the key to the unit on the floor and left. BUT AT 11pm THAT NIGHT HE SENT ME A TEXT SAYING HE WAS SO SORRY FOR BEING ANGRY AND ASKED IF HE CAN COME BACK TOMORROW ___ I did not reply until the following day when i sent him a text saying i am still very upset for what happend give me a couple of days because i had to go to kuala lumpur renewing my visa. I really really like him so much but very worried about him wanting money so often and VERY VERY CONCERNED AS I HAVE NOW SEEN HE HAS A VERY QUICK TEMPER . He still keeps sending me text messages saying he is sorry and can he come and see me because he loves me and misses me so much. I am most upset over all this . Quote
dellboy Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 i know it must be upsetting as you may have feelings for him . however from an outsiders point of view i urge you to stay away from him . firstly he shows temper , whether staged or not , and secondly he is constantly looking for money 26000 in two weeks !! best thing imho , say bye bye asap ! almost none of them love you , miss you etc . most would much rather lub up to their 20 yo girlfriend / boyfriend at night . ah , only for the baht wouldnt we all be in trouble !! best of luck sir . ChristianPFC 1 Quote
emailbroken Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 You tried to do something nice and it back-fired. Kind of you to try, but even more important for you to learn from it and move on. Such a pity we behave like this. I was stopped just before the taxi station at BKK airport the other night by a guy from Europe, clearly on something, telling me he'd had his passport etc stolen and could I help him. Years ago he might have had a chance. I also have my suspicion that your fall might have been part of the elaborate set-up. Either something was put there or he was deliberately loitering around a cracked pavement slab. Sad. Quote
ct2005 Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 Hope u don't mind me asking ... did you get intimate with this young Thai guy? I am surprised that he could start asking for so much money in such a short span of time. For me, him flaring up like that would make my decision so much easier. Quote
Nasherich Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 Such a familiar story! When I look back over the last two years, I've had to be firm about money. For people who are quite poor, they seem to have no shame in spending other people's money. I resolved to keep a tight rein on things to see if my guy would stick around, and he has done so. It's difficult to say no, but it has to be done. That said, I've not experienced temper tantrums of the sort described here and as others have said, I think he is one to avoid. halfhansum and traveller123 2 Quote
calluna15 Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 Do not let this go on. Sever communication With this guy now! This kind of thing Is extremely common here. I speak from Experience.It will only cause you more Stress and complications harassment etc. Do not let him back in your room or meet Up with him. aussie_, vinapu, NIrishGuy and 1 other 4 Quote
Guest FASAJIP Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 Change your phone number, and forget him !!! Quote
1moRussian Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 Perhaps, this will entertain you: the Private Dancer novel (could be find here: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=11018 for example) Of course, it's a fiction novel, but... at Russian Thai forums (straight) this is the common advise to read it Up2u 1 Quote
Guest whall Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 Oh my gosh, I think you referencing me about the book. I only meant that your story was becoming more interesting that I enjoyed reading it more than books. Not that you were writing to much. I was trying to be funny. I think you need to not see this guy and move on. If I'm going to give you my opinion. Quote
Guest Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 Shut him out of your life for ever. There is nothing else to add. Quote
calluna15 Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 My new way to handle these upsetting Situations is not letting it get past First base. By that I mean when a thai Boy starts on one of those oh so tragic Sob stories listen politely and if a request sort of is made say well I hope You ok someday. Then change the subject. There are 7 million stories in the naked City remember that tv show. They all Have a story true or not true that have Driven many farang to the edge. U have To set limits early on. Keep things business like. It can be very heady and Intoxicating being with one of these Boys there tenderness etc. They are very Manipulative and skilled at what they do. aussie_ 1 Quote
Guest homtom Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 CORRECTION TO MY UPDATED POST I mentioned that i had been writing this update for over a week before i actually posted it, however when i read back it did seem to be too lengthy so i edited it and deleted many parts of it that i considered to be of little importance, there being too much of " he said i said parts". together with a section to do with a couple of personal activity times between us both "PRIOR TO THE DAY I AGREED TO HIM STAYING WITH ME UNTIL HE FOUND A ROOM." There was a period of about 12 days from when we first met until the day he moved in to my unit. When i was editing the post i did not realise i had deleted that section prior to posting it. He has been constantly messaging me and calling as well since he walked out on me apologising and saying he is so sad over everything begging me to please see him so we can talk things over. The last time was yesterday and he was crying when he was talking. I am not a heartless person and am a softie at heart , it has always been one of my weakness's.I am now considering whether i should give in a little and agree to see him and hear what he has to say. I should also mention that he is 29 years of age and not really a boy as such any longer, but looking at him his age would appear to be be about 22/3 , I have observed that on many occasions he does have very childlike / immature attitude, whereas other times is quite adult like in many ways he acts and talks. Quote
calluna15 Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 The crying is what many thais excell at. When they think you are a soft touch. If they sence you are the type that sees Through these ploys they won't bother. Once you give money outside of a normal "Business" arrangement the requests for Money will never stop. Just as long as they can phone email facebook u name it. These are some of the requests I Personally have had. I go monkeyhouse have motorcy accident Walking street she lady want 35000bht. My aunt smoking too much go hospital Doctor say she not pay bill go monkeyhouse 25000 baht. I boxing stepmother she crazy hit me I need new room she want 12000 baht or Go monkeyhouse. Baby need school 30000 baht. Crying crying and more crying. It went on and on. It is never enough. There is no closure Or resolution of this persons crisis. Favorite saying "you not care me" I think you butterfly. By the way I stated This upfront. vinapu 1 Quote
aussie_ Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 Read the replies and follow their good advise. He will take you for as much as you will give him and keep coming back for more. Cut off all contact and move on. Quote
Guest 2guys Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 It seems to me you need to protect yourself and follow the advise given by many here who experienced it all already. Get him out of your life and move on or you will end empty pocket as he will keep coming with nes situation and find your soft spot to give him money even though you know you shouldn't. It may seem hard, but it's not. It's protecting yourself from being pulled in an emotional and financial rollercoaster!! And if you are honest with yourself, you know who will be the looser in this all at the end... Good luck on making a wise decision. Quote
kokopelli Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 Can't wait for the next episode of this melodrama. Quote
Guest FossilGay Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 I can't believe the cynicism in this thread. Doesn't anyone believe in finding true love with a prostitute anymore? Didn't we learn anything from Pretty Woman? Sigh... Quote
Jasper Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 OP said that the young man works at the hospital. Quote
witty Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 This is Thailand. The boys( even among hospital workers ) have their own unique stories. Quote
Guest whall Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 Think with your head and not your cock. It's hard sometimes. Haha Quote
Guest Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 He has been constantly messaging me and calling as well since he walked out on me apologising and saying he is so sad over everything begging me to please see him so we can talk things over. The last time was yesterday and he was crying when he was talking. I am not a heartless person and am a softie at heart , it has always been one of my weakness's.I am now considering whether i should give in a little and agree to see him and hear what he has to say. 1 Android (and presumably Apple) phones have a nice little feature to reject all calls and messages from a particular number. Use that and forget him. 2 Since he's out to milk you for every penny you have, why even consider meeting him ? Someone said something about him working in a hospital. This has no relevance. It means he merely has a job or claims to have one. It is no better and no worse than many other jobs. Quote
vinapu Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 I should also mention that he is 29 years of age and not really a boy as such any longer, but looking at him his age would appear to be be about 22/3 , I have observed that on many occasions he does have very childlike / immature attitude, whereas other times is quite adult like in many ways he acts and talks. Am I wrong when I sense that you are trying to invent some excuses for him? An opinion to cut him off is unanimous as you can see above but I'd stress more his short temper even over money request. This is very un-Thai and this may escalate in future so stay away otherwise you risk broken neck at one point in future. Not that it matters but I never share my contact info with boys, made only one exception and bingo - sure enough money requests started a while after and are made matter of factly, not only amount was stated but Western Union suggested and address provided without of bothering what money is needed for. This sense of entitlement riled me even more that request itself so easy to stand my ground. Doesn't anyone believe in finding true love with a prostitute anymore? we all believe , we just don't practice our faith witty and steveboy 2 Quote
steveboy Posted October 22, 2016 Posted October 22, 2016 I am not a heartless person and am a softie at heart , it has always been one of my weakness's.I am now considering whether i should give in a little and agree to see him and hear what he has to say. If you are not a heartless person, have some compassion FOR YOURSELF !! Maybe Destiny has put this occasion in your way as a turning point in your life. You may have been given a choice: - Never see that guy again and break that insidious weakness to gain a free competent mind, or - Give in "a little" to this poison, and perpetuate your fear of "not being good enough" from who knows what trauma. Quote
vinapu Posted October 22, 2016 Posted October 22, 2016 If you are not a heartless person, have some compassion FOR YOURSELF !! Well said and should be will taken Quote
