fears?

[Guest rappa999]

Hi all,

    at 47 years old I am new to the pleasures I have been denying myself for so long by living a "straight" lie, just back from pattaya were I met 4 money boys from gayromeo, had a very nice time with them all and actually had feelings (friendship) for them all, they were nice guys, I am too,

sure they were just doing their jobs...well

 

now i think these "nice guys" been with 100's of guys, are they healthy? probably not, blow jobs without condom, kissing, naked massages with cock being rubbed and pressed against my ass were the norm, anal was only once with condom

 

sure a lot of these guys are hiv+, it's inevitable as well as other nasties, not judging, I could fall for one of these guys, loneliness is a painful thing but I have to figure out how to have fun and be safe at the same time, as I am a novice I am maybe playing a dangerous game but at the same time life is too short to sit at home doing nothing.

 

hope I'm making sense and not repeating a thousand other posts, I just worry because these popular GR guys have been with so many and exposed to so many risks over the years, I need to find the balance of safety and fun and not really sure how, easy to get caught up in the moment as I already have.

[TotallyOz]

When you find a guy you like, go to the hospital with him and both of you get tested.  This is cheap in LOS and it will alleviate many of your worries.

[Guest ryanasia]

Hmmm as far as I know you can contract HIV and it will not show up on a test for 3 months. Make sure you are using condoms and putting them on the correct way regardless of any test results.

[Guest rappa999]

ok thanks guys, I know common sense is what is needed, personally and I'm sure other guys are similar

I detest condoms and can rarely cum with one on, added to that my inexperience, my excitement and

my newness makes me I'm afraid a prime candidate to get something not very nice.

 

I asked on my recent visit 3 of the guys from GR I met when they last got tested, none was comfortable answering and the best answer I got was September, got the strong impression these guys are just hoping they'll be ok.

 

A nice guy in toyboys An, said to me he got tested every month for free (I never asked him) he just volunteered that but also told me a lot of the boys there don't bother and is not enforced by the bar.

 

I'm not expecting anyone to hold my hand and say you'll be ok, I'm just a novice in a new, fun and exciting world and don't want my naivety or stupidity to ruin my fun just when it's only started, I read some of the posts of the regulars who must have taken many many risks over the years? and think they're ok so it must be safe but they are not naive and stupid, maybe they once were like me?

 

I am coming back for 4 weeks from end of August, hence my post, think I need to be wiser and could do with some of the wisdom of some of you guys

[Guest ryanasia]

Keep it wrapped. Not sure what else to say.

[Guest rappa999]

Keep it wrapped. Not sure what else to say.

ok man, sounds simple when you say it like that and for you it probably is, I did not have sex for 4 years,

yes sad but true (thank the lord for free online gay porn) not out in my home country, impossible for me,

so excitement, pleasure, naivety are all strong factors for me, coupled with the fact I hate condoms,

make no mistakes it puts me in a dangerous position and I have to be smart and not let my raging

hormones control my brain, in life I've always taken risks, I can be an idiot.

 

I like what you say ryanasia, when you say" keep it wrapped" I listen, this is what I must do, for him and for me, even if it is a mood/passion killer, in time I hope I can get used to this norm'

[anddy]

1. no risk - no fun, that's a general truth in life

 

2. you can minimize the risk by playing safe, i.e. use condom for anal, that way you are EXTREMELY unlikely to get hiv (pr Hep-C). You may still get other STI's occasionally, but most of them are easily treatable and thus no serious worry.

 

3. You may want to consider getting vaccinated for Hep A and B

[anddy]

as for "keep it wrapped", are you topping them or bottoming? If you top only you risk is much smaller. If you bottom, have him put on the condom, shouldn't bother you would it?

[Guest rappa999]

1. no risk - no fun, that's a general truth in life

 

2. you can minimize the risk by playing safe, i.e. use condom for anal, that way you are EXTREMELY unlikely to get hiv (pr Hep-C). You may still get other STI's occasionally, but most of them are easily treatable and thus no serious worry.

 

3. You may want to consider getting vaccinated for Hep A and B

thanks anddy, I will check out my vaccinations and get these done if needed

 

I'm still learning and experimenting so not sure what I like but yes i think being a bottom and the thought of the guy enjoying me is a big turn on for me, so the onus of condom safety after he has put it on is on him? I just have to hope he cares?

 

I think for anal condoms are obligatory but after the guy fucked me the other day and he came,

I had a euphoric feeling, his condom now off I had an uncontrollable urge to suck his cock dry

and i did and loved it but these moments I cannot do? this is what I mean by my newness and naivety,

the moment took over and i know things like this are going to happen again

[Guest ryanasia]

as for "keep it wrapped", are you topping them or bottoming? If you top only you risk is much smaller. If you bottom, have him put on the condom, shouldn't bother you would it?

 

In this day and age are you really suggesting it is okay to bareback in an area known to have a high rate of HIV just because you are the top? 

[anddy]

In this day and age are you really suggesting it is okay to bareback in an area known to have a high rate of HIV just because you are the top? 

no sorry if that wasn't so clear. I am not saying it is "okay", but still the risk is lower, though also depending on other factors such as being circumcised or not (cut having a lower risk than uncut). But you are right and to be clear I would not advise doing so. Just *IF* it happens, the risk will be lower than when receiving. 

[Guest ryanasia]

Fair enough but I try to keep the "if" scenario out of the equation.

[anddy]

surely the best strategy

[Guest ryanasia]

It would be also fair to assume that if a money boy is letting you stick your dick up his ass with no condom he has been infected already. 

[Guest rappa999]

Fair enough but I try to keep the "if" scenario out of the equation.

yes ryanasia, I listen but although 47, in this situation I am literally 18, well maybe not as I have the experience of time but i am very new and inexperienced, that is why I make my post, when I sucked the guys cock after he came I did not stop to think "is this safe?" i have to learn and by listening to myself i will not.

 

I need to listen to you guys and read this forum thoroughly which I am doing

[Guest rappa999]

ok sorry guys but I have one other question on this subject matter I need to ask, I may be showing my naivety by asking it?

 

if 2 guys were to meet (of course I'm meaning me meeting a guy in Thailand) they get on superbly, they get checked

and are free of anything troublesome, they are exclusive to one another? ok maybe I get carried away....maybe not?

 

can these guys have a sexual relationship free of condoms and free of risk? of course I'm assuming any incubation period has passed, or is their always some sort of risk due to their past sexual history, like being an undetected carrier?

 

I am sorry if this is a stupid question, not everyone of course wants multiple partners, I don't

 

maybe i just look for light at the end of the tunnel, meeting someone special to me and free of concerns over

sexual health, I know some on here like to be a butterfly, good luck to them, every human being on this earth is different.

[numazu]

It would be also fair to assume that if a money boy is letting you stick your dick up his ass with no condom he has been infected already.

This has been my rule of thumb not only in Thailand but anywhere else: if a guy wants you to fuck him bare he's probably infected already. I've been taking PrEP for about a couple of years now and even though this gives me some significant protection, to me this does not give me license to fuck bare. Condoms is still a must, not only for my own well-being but to protect my BF as well.

 

But this works for me. To others the pleasure derived from fucking bare is worth the risk of getting infected. I was definitely more prone to riskier behavior in my early 20s and was glad I got out of that phase without anything bad happen to me.

 

Since you are going through your "gay adolescent" phase, everything is still new and fresh and there is the temptation to go overboard. You still have decades upon decades of gay fun to come so establishing good sex habits now will pay dividends in the long run and ensure you a happy and long sexual history.

[DivineMadman]

yes ryanasia, I listen but although 47, in this situation I am literally 18, well maybe not as I have the experience of time but i am very new and inexperienced, that is why I make my post, when I sucked the guys cock after he came I did not stop to think "is this safe?" i have to learn and by listening to myself i will not.

 

I need to listen to you guys and read this forum thoroughly which I am doing

This site is a valuable resource for certain things but for sexual health advice you should really focus on the actual medical/scientific sites.  www.aids.gov is a helpful one.

[Guest ryanasia]

Well said.

[Guest rappa999]

 

Since you are going through your "gay adolescent" phase, everything is still new and fresh and there is the temptation to go overboard. You still have decades upon decades of gay fun to come so establishing good sex habits now will pay dividends in the long run and ensure you a happy and long sexual history.

 

 

 

thank you so much for that numazu, you said what I was trying to say and there is a bit of me thinks I got into this way too late, you words inspire me a little because yes i am thinking short term, I must not, trying to achieve a place which took some of you guys a long time, I am lucky I have a forum for advice that a lot never had and sadly maybe some no longer here, I need to be smart and listen, pure and simple

[Guest rappa999]

This site is a valuable resource for certain things but for sexual health advice you should really focus on the actual medical/scientific sites.  www.aids.gov is a helpful one.

 

ok I am not so naive to know information on aids exists online, I prefer to hear guys experiences too and probably more so, if I read the leaflet on a packet of aspirins or any drug I wouldn't take them, real life experiences are a valuable insight, to tell the truth I am wary of reading these sites you speak of as it will make me more apprehensive about the journey i am embarking on.

 

I will of course read www.aids.gov

 

I am sorry guys, I am naive and simply have to learn, no more dumb questions, it's a great forum

[Vessey]

The guys/LBs and girls of Pattaya know full well that the majority of their customers do not like condoms, even through the customers are prepared to use them. And many of these boys and girls use that to their advantage in a number of ways.

 

Of the many hundreds of girls on Soi 6 for example, I would guess that maybe 50% will offer no condom if they think it will get them a customer or a higher than normal tip, even some of the most popular ones.

 

Others see 'no condom' as an opportunity to lure you into a longer term relationship (albeit still a customer relationship) with you, along with the immortal words 'I only do this for you tirak'.

 

So in most cases, if you want safe sex, the onus is on us, the customer, to ensure that condoms are used. Even though most of us hate the bloody things with a passion! LOL

[anddy]

It would be also fair to assume that if a money boy is letting you stick your dick up his ass with no condom he has been infected already. 

 

This has been my rule of thumb not only in Thailand but anywhere else: if a guy wants you to fuck him bare he's probably infected already.

 

as assumptions go, they are assumptions and by their very nature flawed and prone to being false. This particular assumption may be true in many cases, yet it would still be short-sighted behavior of those guys. Reason being if you are infected you may still catch a different, drug-resistant virus strain which can ruin your therapy or make a future therapy more difficult. This is a concern especially in lower-income countries because people will not be consistently taking their pills for various reasons which breeds drug resistance.

[anddy]

..., when I sucked the guys cock after he came I did not stop to think "is this safe?" i have to learn and by listening to myself i will not.

 

I need to listen to you guys and read this forum thoroughly which I am doing

don't worry too much about cum in your mouth, oral is considered low-risk for HIV-infection. If you catch, say, a syphilis or gonorrhea, no big deal. Just get tested regularly not only for hiv but ALL STI's (and thus treated in a timely manner if need be) and you're fine.

[vinapu]

 

can these guys have a sexual relationship free of condoms and free of risk? 

with their hand only perhaps

 

either or but not both, you have sex with somebody chances are you have a sex will all others he has sex with before.