When your GR visit is not what you expected

[Guest]

In reply to post #25

 

My comments are based on what I read in the opening post.

1  The board member agreed to meet a boy, but what turned up was a lady boy who didn't even want his nipples sucked.

 

2  If the lady boy found hygiene issues with the member who made the opening post, the lady boy could just leave. Rather than do nothing, then demand 1000 baht.   I  don't see hygiene as a factor.   I do see attitude as one.

 

On the subject of hygiene, I end up showering about 4 times a day in Thailand.  (i) In the morning.  (ii) In the evening, before going to the bars. (iii) When returning with company.  (iv) After enjoying the company. Also making extensive use of mouthwash.  I also treat my companions well. 

I rarely have attitude problems, although I would not want to try my luck with a lady boy.

Whilst I have no problem at all with fem boys (quite like them), I've never had one of those cocky lady boys show up & if I did, I would be most likely to send him away before getting to the hotel.  

 

Repeat:  I would quite like to see the GR profile details posted here, so we can all check it out and make up our own minds about adding this one to the black list.

[Gaybutton]

Repeat:  I would quite like to see the GR profile details posted here, so we can all check it out and make up our own minds about adding this one to the black list.

 

Also, when you are on GR, don't forget to check their guestbook  to see what others have to say about them, although I can do without some of those inane comments such as "hot boy" or "handsome boy."  Thanks very much for pointing out the absolutely obvious.  The incredibly obvious would have done just fine.  And what on earth are some of the guestbook artists thinking, along with some who post long winded poetry that the boy can't possibly understand, even if he gave a damn about it?

 

But many of the guestbooks do contain good information about the boy.  My eyebrows raise when the boy has his guestbook disabled.  I also am skeptical of guestbook posts by people obviously very angry at the boy, especially when the boy can't tell his side of the story.

 

Also, if you are a frequent flier on GR, my eyebrows also raise when I see a boy who has multiple profiles and/or creates a new profile a little bit too often.  I can understand why some boys think it's a good idea to appear as if he is a "new" boy, but some overdo it.

[Travellerdave]

I can't think of an occasion when a ladyboy turned up at my hotel from GR. As everyone knows there are always several posting there but I would never contact a full on ladyboy with breasts (Ugh), silicon around hips, slutty dress&heels, long hair etc. But I suppose it could happen if the ladyboy assumed a boys GR identity, in which case I would send him/her away empty handed.

But like z909 I rather like femboys and am OK with attributes like eye makeup, painted nails or belly piercings but not the features mentioned above or female mannerisms.

[Guest abang1961]

May I have a question about online dating?

 

I met some forummers while I was in Thailand this year. We met in Starbucks and proceeded to have a meal.Nothing remotely related to sex was discussed prior to the meetup . Despite having the most entertaining conversation for more than 2 hours and exchanged flirtatious innuendos , the topic of my room or yours was NEVER discussed. We complimented each other for our personality and the guys had the eyes glued to my smooth legs but really, nothing more happened.

 

Now can't you guys meet a potential bed warmer at the hotel lobby?  If he/she does not measure up, wouldn't a tiny token of appreciation suffice?  One trick which may be useful is to use Face-time or any apps for direct video-conferencing.  This way, both parties get to see the REAL you.

[Guest]

Now can't you guys meet a potential bed warmer at the hotel lobby?  If he/she does not measure up, wouldn't a tiny token of appreciation suffice? 

According to my moral standards, it depends how much deception or misrepresentation is involved.

 

If the boy who turns up looks like he does in the pictures & has a reasonable attitude, but you send him away for some minor issue, then some token of appreciation would be in order.

 

If whoever turns up is significantly different to what is represented in the profile, then I don't believe in rewarding their deception by tipping them to go away.  They deserve to be sent away empty handed.

We're in the 21st century.   Any money boy can take some up to date profile pics on his phone and put them on his profile. So he should do that.  If he chooses to misrepresent himself, that is his problem not mine.

 

By significantly different, I  mean more than just 2 years ageing.   I am thinking significantly different = changing to a ladyboy (or vice versa), adding a beard or huge moustache, gaining +15 kg or some huge obscene tattoos that  were not there on the profile pic. 

Any of that & I think it is fine to send someone away empty handed.   Remember, he has wasted my time as well.

 

For what it's worth, I cannot recall finding a case like this in Thailand. Most who show up are as represented.  But I have no doubt there might be a small minority who  change their persona from the profile pic & therefore respectfully trust what is written in the opening post.

[colmx]

My eyebrows raise when the boy has his guestbook disabled. 

GR profiles created using the PR app automatically have the guestbook disabled

Where as on teh GR/PR website they are autimatically enabled

 

This is because there is no way on the PR app to view (or even know) that there are guestbook entries

So for me it is no longer surprising when a guestbook is disabled...

 

Similarly the profiles with absolutely NO information have generally been created on the PR App and not the GR/PR website

[Gaybutton]

GR profiles created using the PR app automatically have the guestbook disabled

 

Ahaaaa!  Thank you.  I didn't know that.  You've also explained something that had been puzzling me - the profiles where there is a pic, but nothing else.  It never occurred to me that creating a profile with a smartphone would be different from creating one with a computer.

 

I would imagine since so many boys now have a smartphone, they don't go to internet shops as often as they used to.

[Guest Qualityonly]

Thanks Z,but I wont post the post the GR profile of that boy or ladyboy.

 

Regardless of his name (I could even make up a name) and I can guarantee at least one person will post just to be nasty that they had that particular boy and had no problems.

 

This is quite a good forum with everyone giving constructive opinions .

 

I paid this particular screeching boy 500 baht but I hope everyone doesnt do that.

 

When he started to touch my aftershaves and said he will take one then I physically moved in to grabbed it back.

 

He seemed like he had done it before though,just that he didnt seem bothered by me ordering him out of the room,he seemed too cocky and very arrogant,I would even hazard a guess he was older than his GR profile.

I really hope he doesnt do it to older guys who may not be able to deal with it.

[Guest Qualityonly]

May I have a question about online dating?

 

I met some forummers while I was in Thailand this year. We met in Starbucks and proceeded to have a meal.Nothing remotely related to sex was discussed prior to the meetup . Despite having the most entertaining conversation for more than 2 hours and exchanged flirtatious innuendos , the topic of my room or yours was NEVER discussed. We complimented each other for our personality and the guys had the eyes glued to my smooth legs but really, nothing more happened.

 

Now can't you guys meet a potential bed warmer at the hotel lobby?  If he/she does not measure up, wouldn't a tiny token of appreciation suffice?  One trick which may be useful is to use Face-time or any apps for direct video-conferencing.  This way, both parties get to see the REAL you.

Depends who it is,would I give a tiny token of appreciation to a say another farang I met on Grindr and he didnt turn out to look like his pics?

[Alexx]

He seemed like he had done it before though,just that he didnt seem bothered by me ordering him out of the room.

Maybe it's his business model.

[Guest ryanasia]

IMO it is kinder to send the guy away with no money than grudgingly giving him 500 "taxi" fare and posting his PR account details. I also think that some guys feel a false sense of sympathy for the guys. They are not as poor as people think. Any boy working who is attractive should have taxi fare in their pockets anyway. Especially when people seem to think taxi fare is 500 Baht or so. That would be like giving a guy $50 to go away in the west. 

 

Back in the days when I worked if it didn't work out for some reason I didn't receive anything. This rarely would happen but in those times I did something unbelievable I paid my own bus fare home. I certainly didn't run around using misleading pictures precisely because in the west it would be pretty much a unanimous consensus you would walk away with nothing. With things being digital there is no reason to have an outdated pic especially if you are supposedly a professional. Back in the day adverts were in newspapers and gay mags and it was much harder to get and change a photo. You had to submit your ad by the deadline and you even had to pay for the ad. 

 

 

I understand life is tough but when you compare what the boys get to purchasing parity with in Thailand they get a much better rate than some boys in the west do. 1,000 Baht here would be probably equal to a boy getting $100 in the USA. I would have loved to show up to work and get $100 go away money without doing anything. 

 

If it is me that changed my mind I will give 1,000 but as I have said they are out of line maybe nothing or if they need taxi fare no more than 200. There is this amazing thing in Bangkok called the BTS and MRT. If you feel the need to run around with misleading pictures this may be a clue that you are simply not good enough looking to be a money boy. 

 

As far as the sob stories about farang being bad customers... does anybody really think this is unique to Thailand? Go hustle in the German meat market you will find a true grind. They could always stick to servicing Thais exclusively if they feel it is easier and more profitable to do so. Telling a customer how bad other farangs are is also a somewhat self serving  tactic to make the one they are with now feel like some sort of gem. "You aren't like all the other guys." Yeah right. lol Believe me that line is very well practiced in the sex industry. 

 

Over all Thai boys have it pretty easy. They get free accommodation if they want it, many gogo places provide meals and they drink for free much of the time.

 

As soon as a half way decent looking boy turns pro he is no longer poor by any definition of the word in this country. If he can not keep up his performance level or his appearance he needs to look for a different occupation and not troll the waters preying on the sympathy of tourists.

 

Again I am applying this logic to scenarios that are upon dishonesty and not sincere misunderstandings. I am maybe a bit too old school but these are the same expectations that were imposed on me when I worked and now as a customer I don't see any reason things would change. Developing an accurate and positive web presence is a key part of the business these days. Those that are unwilling to figure this out will suffer the consequences as would any other business person. 

 

 

I have helped a few guys make nice PR and grind accounts to help them in business as well. The latest guy I helped with decent pictures online has said he now gets a lot of business. 

 

I explain to them that on various websites we all talk about them the same way they talk about us and know their little secrets as well. It's funny at times when it dawns on them that some of us aren't exactly new to the rodeo and can also play the game.Just be honest and a reasonable facsimile of your online persona, it isn't much to ask.  

[Guest FossilGay]

 

And, gentlemen, make sure, if the boy turns out to be a non-performer, that it isn't your fault.  Are you freshly showered and shaved?  Are you dressed decently?  Is your bed made?  Have you been drinking?  Are you demanding that he do things he didn't know in advance you're going to want him to do?  Are you treating him well or treating him as if he is nothing more than a sex object whose very existence means nothing more than giving you a nice, satisfying cum?

 

The most common complaint about farang I hear from the boys is that the farang only cares about himself and sex, and obviously doesn't give the first shit about the boy other than using him for sex.  If you happen to be one of those, does it really take much to figure out why the boy doesn't want to give you a stellar performance?

 

Thank you for pointing out the absolutely obvious.  The incredibly obvious would have done just fine.

[Guest FossilGay]

May I have a question about online dating?

 

I met some forummers while I was in Thailand this year. We met in Starbucks and proceeded to have a meal.Nothing remotely related to sex was discussed prior to the meetup . Despite having the most entertaining conversation for more than 2 hours and exchanged flirtatious innuendos , the topic of my room or yours was NEVER discussed. We complimented each other for our personality and the guys had the eyes glued to my smooth legs but really, nothing more happened.

 

May I ask a question about your post above?  What has it got to do with this thread?

[Guest FossilGay]

Maybe it's his business model.

 

That's exactly it.  It's probably a pattern with that particular boy; he knows there are plenty of timorous farangs who are easily intimidated and who would pay him the full tip or half the full tip even if he doesn't perform.  500Bt is a lot of money for doing nothing when most people are struggling to make the 300Bt  a day minimum wage for a hard day's work.

[Guest naughtybutnice]

Although I have lived in Bangkok since I was a child some 40 years ago, except for 7 years at school in the UK, I rarely meet any guys from the Bangkok scene, in fact the last one was 4-5 years ago when we literally ran into each other while jogging in Lumpini Park one morning.

 

I have a house in Jomtien so when I do fancy meeting a boy it is in the Pattaya area and GR is my main focus to find a boy. I do on occasions visits the bars if I have friends from overseas who are visiting and want to see what it is all about but I am afraid that nowadays the bar scene is nothing like it was some 20 years ago when back them it was not so much of a pantomime.

 

At the moment I am seeing on a regular basis two genuinely charming and hard working young guys from up north who are working in Pattaya and sending money back home to help their younger siblings with their education. Both have been 100%  punctual and done exactly what they have said they can and will do. Not once have I been asked for extra for taxi / bus fares.

 

Much like abang1961 a few times when meeting boys it has been over coffee or for a meal and we have just spent a pleasant few hours together without the need for sex although the boy was willing. Sometimes, although I appreciate for visitors it is not what they are looking for, it is good just to spend some time with a boy especially when you know he is from a poor family as are most of the boys working the trade in Pattaya. All of boys the appreciate being treated as a human being and as a not a chunk of meat, the offer of a meal goes a long way in helping the boys who after paying the rent for their room (unless they are very popular and get a lot of offs ) have very little money to spare. When boys are sleeping sometimes as many as six to a room and have to pay 3000Baht rent it leaves little if any money for other necessities. Also inviting the boy for a swim in one of the pools in Pattaya creates a long-lasting good impression on the boys. In my case I am fortunate in having a good size pool at my Jomtien home so often a boy will bring over a couple of friends for an afternoon swim and my housekeeper will knock up a BBQ for them before they return to work in the evening.

 

I have always paid the boys well, if they ask “How much you can give me” I make what I think is a fair offer and as yet have never been turned down. If some of the farangs could read the boys’ Facebook pages I think that they would be horrified at some of the comments the boys post when comparing certain farangs. I guess that is one of the advantages of being fluent in Thai! Just as some farangs post pictures of the boys the boys also post pictures of farangs they are discussing.

 

I know a few boys who have disabled the guestbook feature on GR simply because people have left nasty comments some of which by posters who have never even met the boy. If you look through GR there are posters who just copy and paste their comments across a range of profiles so it is easier and I have often advised boys to do so to disable the guestbook.

[Guest FossilGay]

Thanks Z,but I wont post the post the GR profile of that boy or ladyboy.

 

Regardless of his name (I could even make up a name) and I can guarantee at least one person will post just to be nasty that they had that particular boy and had no problems.

 

 

This forum is supposed to be a safe space for you to ask questions and share your experiences; don't be intimidated by these holier-than-thou types who claim to speak for the boys and their complaints, who tell you how to treat the boys and how to maintain your personal hygiene.  Ignore the finger-wagging and tut-tutting and say what you want to say.

[Guest ryanasia]

For the sake of this thread we should just assume the issue was what the OP said it was and not anything else. He didn't name and shame anybody so the discussion is more meaningful focuses on his thoughts than interjecting that he probably didn't brush his teeth.

[Guest abang1961]

May I ask a question about your post above?  What has it got to do with this thread?

Hope I aint starting a war of words here.

I am usually calm and collected but sometimes, I do clam up and get irritated when FG steps on my toes.

 

 

Fossl guy, you really need new reading glasses!

WTF to your attitude and hence, contributions to the discussions.

 

The lower portion of the message concerns about whether it is feasible to meet the boy in the hotel lobby? And it is VERY RELEVANT to the topic (and yours truly, did ask a very appropriate question)

[Guest ryanasia]

Yes, by all means meet the boy in the lobby or any neutral place. There is nothing wrong with the reasoning behind this.

[ChristianPFC]

The op has my full support. I would have done the same, except for giving less taxi money (I always ask where the boy is now, so I can estimate how much return trip by taxi is).

 

Possible solutions: check pictures closely in advance (if boy doesn't have several clear pictures, ask for recent clear picture; if pictures don't match - abort), meet in a public place, do a video chat.

 

Video chat saved me a disappointment in April:

http://christianpfc.blogspot.com/2016/05/dating-thai-boys-39-youre-not-slim.html