Thailand's Magical Allure

[jfarmer017]

 

On the right, your average middle-aged, overweight, balding sex tourist. On your left, a smooth, well built 19 year old. Each has come to the beach looking for one thing, and one thing only, and each has found it. After a fun frolic on the beach, the tourist's newfound companion accompanies him back to his room for the rest of the evening.

 

 

Hmm...you think he had a good time?

[vinapu]

I hope he got good tip , then he can have good time with his friends.

 

Balding sex turist likely had very good time and if he did not , it's his fault

[Jasper]

Hmm...you think he had a good time?

Wrong question.

[Vessey]

Absolutely, although I am not sure that each is there for exactly the same thing. I would say instead that each has something that the other wants and therefore it works for both of them.

 

Many of us fit the farang profile of course. I always find it odd how much fatter I look in pictures than I imagine myself! LOL

[Guest abang1961]

I used to laugh at the line.. making money in your sleep...

 

True, it will be rather difficult for the older gentleman to get attention back in his own country.. however here, as long as his wallet is filled, he can get a rolling good time..

[Guest Looksee]

I used to laugh at the line.. making money in your sleep...

 

True, it will be rather difficult for the older gentleman to get attention back in his own country.. however here, as long as his wallet is filled, he can get a rolling good time..

so very true, it also happens to those who do not have the physical attributes deemed attractive by some

[ggobkk]

Who of uk knows what the older gentleman looked like when he was 19...

[kokopelli]

Who of uk knows what the older gentleman looked like when he was 19...

Quite true ggobkk.  I know an older gentleman who is very overweight and yet a stunner when a young man.

[jfarmer017]

Who of uk knows what the older gentleman looked like when he was 19...

 

What does that have to do with anything? We are judged by how we look at any given moment, not how we looked many years prior.

[firecat69]

AMAZING again how many posters do not really understand Thai Boys. Like anyone else they like money but respect is important also .

 

Customer #1- 40 years old and in good shape tries to grind the boy down in price and then treats him like a piece of meat in bed.

 

Customer #2 60 years old and overweight asks boy if he would like something to eat on way to his room. Upfront offers him at least the standard rate and maybe a bit more. Treats him more like a BF then a piece of meat in bed.

 

Same 2 customers walk into the Bar 3 days later. Which customer does the boy go to. Of course he goes to #2 in a flash.

 

Thais respect older people more then most cultures .

 

Now if you continually go to Bars where most of the Boys are straight and they want to do as little as possible then since they will treat everyone with disdain and do as little as possible then those boys will choose the younger better looking person.

 

Most of the boys in Bars just need to earn money to pay rent and maybe send some home to MaMa.

 

Amazing what happens when you treat them like human beings regardless of what you might look like!

[jfarmer017]

@Firecat69, when you were 20, how many 60 year olds were you attracted to? Of course every human being deserves to be treated with dignity and respect regardless of their occupation but there's a reason commercial sex workers tend to be in their 20s and not their 40s. People are generally attracted to youth and vigor. It's also why when gay men begin to get older, they often have to resort to paid sexual encounters.

[vinapu]

It's also why when gay men begin to get older, they often have to resort to paid sexual encounters.

Because with age they get wiser and know that free sex is much more costly?

 

 

Now if you continually go to Bars where most of the Boys are straight and they want to do as little as possible...... 

 

 

In their defense  I must add that that being straight and wanting to do as little as possible not necessarily goes hand in hand.

 

My experience with straight boys is overwhelmingly positive like they realize they need to try harder to please because lack of natural attraction.

Sure I can point many exceptions but straights work for me.

[firecat69]

@Firecat69, when you were 20, how many 60 year olds were you attracted to? Of course every human being deserves to be treated with dignity and respect regardless of their occupation but there's a reason commercial sex workers tend to be in their 20s and not their 40s. People are generally attracted to youth and vigor. It's also why when gay men begin to get older, they often have to resort to paid sexual encounters.

What has that got to do with my post? This is about people who come to Thailand to have sex with boys and in the overwhelming number of cases they pay for that privilege.

 

I recognize a small % of posters here come with no intent of paying .. In many cases they are Asians from countries where everything is much more expensive and thus Thailand makes for a good vacation. They represent a very small % of the members here who post regularly IMHO

[firecat69]

Because with age they get wiser and know that free sex is much more costly?

 

 

 

In their defense  I must add that that being straight and wanting to do as little as possible not necessarily goes hand in hand.

 

My experience with straight boys is overwhelmingly positive like they realize they need to try harder to please because lack of natural attraction.

Sure I can point many exceptions but straights work for me.

Really wish even you would read more carefully . I made no judgement on all straight boys . I was pretty plain that if you go to certain bars with predominately straight boys that have a reputation for not performing then you should not be surprised when you get nothing in the privacy of your room.

 

Having been to Brazil 4 times I am well aware that "straight boys" can perform quite well in Gay situations. In fact the majority of boys I met there were not only married but had children.

 

Impossible for me to know whether they were really straight or conforming to acceptable norms and getting married . I suspect maybe some of both and I am sure that may be the case in Thailand also in at least some % of supposed straight boys.

[Brummbaer]

Because with age they get wiser and know that free sex is much more costly?

 

 

 

 

 

I actually had a collegue at work some 20 years ago who was very pragmatic and calculated:

 

Meet a girl, wine and dine her, go to the movies with her, visit to a disco and after three or four dates you might get to third base.  Add up all the money and time you spent, and then go to a "professional", pay less and get what you want without the whole rigmarole of wining and dining. If you just want the sex, that's the way to go.  

[jfarmer017]

What has that got to do with my post?

 

That was actually my reaction to your initial post; I didn't understand it. Which "posters do not really understand Thai Boys" based on the comments in this thread? I don't disagree with the overall sentiment, I just didn't think I had seen any evidence of it in this particular thread. 

[traveller123]

 

 

Thais respect older people more then most cultures .

 

From my experiences in Thailand I very strongly agree with Firecat's remark.

It doesn't just apply to the lads working the bars and massage places,

I am always very pleasantly surprised by the genuine welcome I get when we go out with my partners straight friends who are a mixture of village Thais with not a lot of education and his long standing friends from his school days who all have professional or office jobs.

 

For me this is a real allure to my life in Thailand - a loving much younger partner and by and large , wonderful people

[jfarmer017]

For me this is a real allure to my life in Thailand - a loving much younger partner and by and large , wonderful people

 

 

I hate to sound like a cynic but don't you think the "loving" part is much of a stretch? After all, partnering up with someone for purely subjective reasons is a relatively new phenomenon in human history. Most marriages are arranged or conducted out of material necessity because only recently have humans been able to escape the Malthusian trap in widespread numbers. I think so called "cultural differences" are quite overstated. We're all still human beings after all. The primary difference is material well being. If Thailand had the standard of living of, say, Denmark, there would be a much less dynamic commercial sex industry. 

 

Sure a relationship between an older foreigner and a younger Thai can work, as relationships of material self-interest have worked for millennia. But to say it is built on some kind of mutual interest, love, intimacy, and respect, I have a hard time buying. But then again, behind every cynic is a romantic...a wounded one.

[traveller123]

I don't for one minute believe it was love at first sight, but after eight years I know it has developed into a love between us.

It shows in many ways, affectionate touches, hugs , always considering me (and me him), all of which is more than enough for me.

I accept I am not a deep thinker and just believe in enjoying my life which I am very happily doing here in Thailand.

[Londoner]

Correct, traveller123....and a firm grip in my arm as we negotiate Pattaya 2nd road. This makes me smile since I live in London and am far better at crossing roads than my country-boy partner!

[traveller123]

Correct, traveller123....and a firm grip in my arm as we negotiate Pattaya 2nd road. This makes me smile since I live in London and am far better at crossing roads than my country-boy partner!

 

Very true

 

 

 

[Guest ryanasia]

I hate to sound like a cynic but don't you think the "loving" part is much of a stretch? After all, partnering up with someone for purely subjective reasons is a relatively new phenomenon in human history. Most marriages are arranged or conducted out of material necessity because only recently have humans been able to escape the Malthusian trap in widespread numbers. I think so called "cultural differences" are quite overstated. We're all still human beings after all. The primary difference is material well being. If Thailand had the standard of living of, say, Denmark, there would be a much less dynamic commercial sex industry. 

 

Sure a relationship between an older foreigner and a younger Thai can work, as relationships of material self-interest have worked for millennia. But to say it is built on some kind of mutual interest, love, intimacy, and respect, I have a hard time buying. But then again, behind every cynic is a romantic...a wounded one.

 

I am not a Thai boy so can't speak as to what may go through their heads when they go with foreigners and get into relationships. However I myself back in the day met my current partner when I was a money boy in my younger years. So I can maybe shed a little light onto this topic as far as how the psychology on the other side of the business works. 

 

I was 21 and a twink working in a boy bar in (Blue boy club if anybody was there or is curious) Amsterdam. I had travelled overseas to work there solely to make some money and hopefully find permanent financial security. I don't think I was too much different from the boys from issan who travel far (relatively for them anyway) away from their homes to find the same thing.

 

Anyway the first time you work out of a bar can be a bit strange and obviously exotic. I also was a sexual being myself and at 21 was very horny. Believe it or not many boys want a customer just if nothing else out of boredom. The cash is a bonus at some points assuming as others have mentioned the guy doesn't treat you horribly. 

 

So eventually I found a guy who was well off and around 38 a bit chubby and not... attractive by western gay standards. He knew the game and knew he had to pay for sex he had no problem with it and was generous. We went on trips and out to dinners and he took me out of the bar many times and understood I was still working while we "dated". 

 

After some time went by I moved in with him and although I didn't love him it became more than a simple matter of money or hourly rates. So time goes by and we actually get to know each other. I could break out of my shell a little bit and instead of me just giving service was more of an equal in the relationship and  I was more assertive about what I liked in bed as well. Don't underestimate an older man who is lacking a little in looks about what they can make up by being a good partner at sex.

 

He wasn't physically my type and in the true sense never will be but I was horny and he treated me well and I could overcome the difference in him and what was my ideal sexual partner. I don't think that to compromise a bit in this regard is that uncommon outside of paid relationships.

 

The first thing that will happen after the pure mutual benefit stage of such a relationship if it blossoms will be to become natural friends or fuck buddies. Now the boy is just as capable of picking his partner to be with regardless of money. I was pretty hot back then and had my choice of potential punters or clients or whatever you want to call it. My point here is there is still an element of dating even in a boy bar. There is still a choice as the relationship is still consensual. 

 

I would not be able to continuously live with a guy I had no feelings of any kind for money aside. After some period of time when somebody treats you well and makes you happy you begin to also want to make them happy regardless of how the relationship started. If there is no spark of any kind there it will end up in a break up, just like any other relationship would. 

 

So I believe that with the boys you can nurture a level of love even if the attraction was based upon something else to begin with. Over time I came to love the man I was with and I am still with him today, we are still making each other happy and having the time of our lives as you might read in my Jomtien trip. 

 

Did our relationship start in the most romantic of places? Perhaps not. Does that mean I do not love him now and we could not grow into a healthy relationship? Maybe for some people it is impossible that they would ever love somebody who is older because of a barrier based upon looks but for me and I believe for a much larger portion of Thai boys this barrier isn't insurmountable. 

 

Do I love the man I am with now? Yes, I do, with all of my heart and I would die to protect him if it came down to it. The entire thing started based upon mutual necessity but that doesn't mean that a relationship with a money boy can not be dynamic and things always stay the same. 

 

I would venture to say most relationships in the beginning stages are as superficial as what goes in with some of the guys in Thailand. Sure there are some real creeps that are just unloveable but if you are a decent person it is possible to win a boy over. Isn't that what happens in normal dating? Nobody is in love at first but rather lust and it either grows or it doesn't.

 

To say a money boy will never truly love a customer is an arbitrary concept and implies that money boys are incapable of love because of the job they chose. You will find that most the guys are looking for love and money. They are after all looking for something better than the place they came from and probably the place they are in now. 

 

So I think it is a bit coarse to say that love between an older man and a young guy even if he was a working boy is impossible. At the age of most of the boys you meet they are bound to mature and change over the course of a few years if you remain together. Intergenerational relationships have been around since the beginning of time. 

 

The money aspect of the trade doesn't negate the emotional attachments that are likely to develop when two people treat each other with respect. 

 

Anyway I should have wrote this with a drink in me i am boring myself. This must be the most boring fucking thing I have ever written about my times as a working boy. So to make a short story long it is possible to develop a relationship that is mutually loving as long as you aren't deluding yourself. Is this the ideal way to start one? No, possibly not but for some people this is the only realistic choice they have and there isn't another option. 

 

Bare in mind my experience comes from the western meat markets of the USA and Europe and I think it is much easier in Thailand and more than the money aspect being a barrier the cultural differences might be a bigger issue. 

 

 

To the people that are cynical I guess I just say, maybe you don't believe in it, but I have seen it myself personally. 

 

To the hopeless romantics be honest with yourself and careful with money. Trust your heart for better or worse. 

[chancellor]

This is the best post I have read on this board - with respect to all the other excellent posters.

[Guest whall]

That was an interesting read. Thx for sharing your story.

[Alexx]

Yup, really a good read ryanasia, some food for thought.