Do we go to Thailand because we do not settle for less?

[numazu]

Imagine if old Asians would go for young Farangs... it would be much more expensive for the old Asians, and they most probably would be left wanting.

I don't know if you think that 35 is old, but I'm Asian(-American) and go for young (18-25) farangs (white boys). I've never paid for boys here in the US, and do not get as much attention from the young ones as much as when I was in my 20s, but I do get the occasional nibble from time to time, especially when on travel (and when I do it's always unexpected, because it's when I do not pursue the boy).

 

But then I do cast a wide net, as I am also attracted to men in their 30s and 40s, as long as the overall attractiveness (for me) and swagger is there, and would prefer hot sweaty intense sex with a gorgeous 45 yr old leather daddy, than a beautiful 20 year old white twink who just lays there and does nothing but expects a BJ from you.

[steveboy]

I don't know if you think that 35 is old, but I'm Asian(-American) and go for young (18-25) farangs (white boys). 

 

I recognize that all what we are saying here is relative, and we are loosely stereotyping. Of course 35 yo is not old, and you can be attracted to younger gays from any ethnic group.

 

It just occurred to me something I have never thought about.  To those gays with some feminine inclinations who like the manly older gays...  what happens to them as they age?  As they age they must be running out of older gays who are still sexually viable, until all the older gays become dead corpses.

 

I now realize the fortune to be a gay who likes younger gays,  because as I age... it only gets more delicious

[Guest novelle]

It probably is offensive to you because you want to find it offensive.  Why bring "offensiveness" into the discussion?

 

Within the gay orientation there are masculine ones who prefer younger partners and feminine ones that prefer older partners, and if Westerners are more of the former and Asians are more of the latter, what is wrong with this?  It means that pairs of Farang with Asian have the best chance to be happy, and it explains why so many old Farangs come Thailand to pair with young Asians 

 

And it is good that it is like that.  Imagine if old Asians would go for young Farangs...  it would be much more expensive for the old Asians, and they most probably would be left wanting.

 

Ok I'll bite. It is offensive coz the OP is postulating some outrageous, convoluted theory that Asian men have more "female genes" which make them predisposed to preferring older farangs. For the life of me I don't know what he means exactly. Is he saying they are XX chromosome intersex possessing both male and female parts? My guess is he means Asian men have more female traits like smooth skin, soft spoken, shy, submissive, etc. How these tired stereotypes that are endlessly trotted out by westerners to describe an entire race have anything to do with making old wrinkle bodies more attractive escapes me. The fact that he ties it to evolutionary process is ludicrous. Newsflash: It's not Social Darwinism it's Social Economics. I find it weird that he has not been laughed off this forum. Perhaps it speaks to what an echo chamber it is here. You guys really need to get out of your Soi Twilight bubble. Money boys around the world are all the same. And yes, even old Asian men can easily find impoverished White twinks in many East European countries. I doubt though that they are as delusional as the members here in thinking these prostitutes are genuinely attracted to them due to some genetic mutation. LOL. I guess these Thai money boys really give Oscar worthy performances. 

[witty]

Many, many months ago I (an Asian, then aged 29) had a little "affair" with a Catalan(Spaniard) lad whom I met at a hostel in Paris. He had just turned 18. I thought I was too old for him, but to my surprise our little affair lasted for quite a while.

[Guest ryanasia]

Ummm, they do?  Ok, I'm not really young any more, but I have Thais who are 20 years older than me hitting on my quite often on the apps.

 

Do you accept their offers? 

[Guest cdnmatt]

Do you accept their offers? 

 

Well, I'm happy to chat with them, because they may have an interesting life story.  But no, I have zero interest in sex with them.  Sometimes you bump into a cool property developer who's well travelled, and so on.

 

I guess if they're a little older than me I might be interested, but about 40 would be my cut off.  Even then, I'd only be interested if I was viewing them as a potential long-term BF.

 

If I'm just looking for a for-pay gik, then they're pretty always going to be younger than me.

[Guest ryanasia]

So you pretty much proved the point.

[Guest ryanasia]

As far as selective goes that is a pretty subjective thing. I find these days 90% of the guys on gayromeo or elsewhere are simply unattractive. So I would say people come to Thailand to pay for sex because it is more convenient and that is about it. There are very few actual stunners in the online dating world. Whether it is Pattaya or elsewhere, most people in the west would find our selections disgusting to say the least. 

 

So to say you come here because your sexual taste is impeccable would be an invention in your own mind. Some people like breast meat and some like the darker stuff. People come here because it is almost a fetish, you like brown asian ass or rough straight types with big cocks but most of the world wouldn't agree with your high standards so please get over yourself. 

 

You come to Thailand because the hookers are not so fussy about you in all actuality. There are rent boys world wide but they can afford to be more choosy. 

[abidismaili]

As far as selective goes that is a pretty subjective thing. 

 

So to say you come here because your sexual taste is impeccable would be an invention in your own mind. 

 

It is not subjective. Prime sexual preference in the age range 16-25 is not subjective. It is universal. Subjective is the type of body you like, color of eye you like, hair style you like, smile you like, body shape you like.  Age range is NOT subjective.

 

You really are so naive to believe when you see two 40 year old gay couples they still feel sexually attracted to each other? Or two 50 year old couples?  Believe me: most are in love maybe, good friends sure, soul mates sure, living partners of course, but there is no sexual attraction anymore in the majority of 35 plus gay couples.

 

If you see a 50 year old gay having sex with another 50 year old gay it is because he can't find anything better. But he still has sex with him. Why? Because - unlike me - he settles for less. His prime preference is also below 25. Trust me. I know human beings. You don't apparently.

[Guest novelle]

This is getting silly. Male attraction is based on physical appearance first. We all get that. But to make the leap that all men would prefer a twink young enough to be his son or grandson if given the choice is ridiculous. What fun is it after the initial thrill with someone you have nothing in common and can barely communicate without the help of Google translate? But that's just me and I'm not making judgment on those who find satisfaction from it. But let let it be clear..sex tourists like you are in the minority. It's not because we can't find anything better but we have no interest. We settle for m.o.r.e. not less. You go to Thaliland coz you can't afford it where you live.

[steveboy]

This is getting silly. Male attraction is based on physical appearance first. We all get that. But to make the leap that all men would prefer a twink young enough to be his son or grandson if given the choice is ridiculous. What fun is it after the initial thrill with someone you have nothing in common and can barely communicate without the help of Google translate? 

 

You said it.  IT IS THE INITIAL THRILL.  And this thrill does not need to last longer than the one night on short time or long time.

 

There are smart people in this forum who have such "initial thrill" one or more times every day they are in Thailand on sex tourism.  I am not one of them, but I recognize that they get much satisfaction with what they get for their money.

[steveboy]

Ok I'll bite. It is offensive coz the OP is postulating some outrageous, convoluted theory that Asian men have more "female genes" which make them predisposed to preferring older farangs. For the life of me I don't know what he means exactly. Is he saying they are XX chromosome intersex possessing both male and female parts? My guess is he means Asian men have more female traits like smooth skin, soft spoken, shy, submissive, etc. How these tired stereotypes that are endlessly trotted out by westerners to describe an entire race have anything to do with making old wrinkle bodies more attractive escapes me. 

 

Let me try to explain.  Of course Asian men are no more effeminate than men of any other ethnicity or race.  But they have TO THEIR ADVANTAGE some physical characteristics that men find attractive in women, like smooth skin,  youthful appearance, aesthetic bodies.  I am attracted by persons who are manly like a boy AND beautiful like a girl.  This puts me in the group of gays who gets turned on by younger people.  Add to this the CULTURAL trait of Asians to have a friendly attitude, and this puts Asians at the top of my classification of people by attractiveness.  This is totally independent of their availability, price, willingness, costs of living in Asia, etc.  If I were a billionaire, I would still be looking for Asians.

 

 

The fact that he ties it to evolutionary process is ludicrous. Newsflash: It's not Social Darwinism it's Social Economics. I find it weird that he has not been laughed off this forum. Perhaps it speaks to what an echo chamber it is here. You guys really need to get out of your Soi Twilight bubble. Money boys around the world are all the same. And yes, even old Asian men can easily find impoverished White twinks in many East European countries. I doubt though that they are as delusional as the members here in thinking these prostitutes are genuinely attracted to them due to some genetic mutation. LOL. I guess these Thai money boys really give Oscar worthy performances. 

 

Evolution, Darwinism, was not mentioned to segregate Asian genes from the rest of humanity but to explain why older males have an attraction to younger bodies, both female and male.  I am not sure how much this is true, but it sounds good and it helps dispel a convenient bashing that "old dirty men" are an abomination, bashing that comes from not so old ones when they are rejected in favor of younger bodies.

[abidismaili]

But to make the leap that all men would prefer a twink young enough to be his son or grandson if given the choice is ridiculous.

 

Where did I make that leap? I say prime preference of as a good as everyone, is young. Body shape is subjective. A less twinky, more muscled 20 year old is for many attractive, nothing strange with that. I myself prefer twinks yes.

 

This thread started with me wondering what the difference is between us sex tourists and gay friends who stay at home. I think the difference is we just want the best of the best (that is young) and we not want to settle for less, what we are forced to do when home, because an escort is way more expensive at home. 

 

Our 40 and 50 and 60 year old gay friends at home who not pay for escorts have no sex or settle for less.

[Guest novelle]

Well isn't that the whole intent of the OP is to dispel the stigma of "old dirty men" engaged in sex trafficking with boys more than half their age? He tries to put a positive spin on it by saying he's not settling for less as if he's pursuing a higher standard than everyone else. He claims everyone has the same predilection for twinks because he knows human beings. However, the mental contortions he goes through even ascribing Asian men with female genes is wacky and offensive to say to the least. The more frantic his assertions the more revealing his underlying insecurity. I mean truly it's no one's business so why the need to even rationalize it? I'm glad you are buying it but as I said previously he's preaching to the choir except for a few exceptions.

[firecat69]

As far as selective goes that is a pretty subjective thing. I find these days 90% of the guys on gayromeo or elsewhere are simply unattractive. So I would say people come to Thailand to pay for sex because it is more convenient and that is about it. There are very few actual stunners in the online dating world. Whether it is Pattaya or elsewhere, most people in the west would find our selections disgusting to say the least. 

 

So to say you come here because your sexual taste is impeccable would be an invention in your own mind. Some people like breast meat and some like the darker stuff. People come here because it is almost a fetish, you like brown asian ass or rough straight types with big cocks but most of the world wouldn't agree with your high standards so please get over yourself. 

 

You come to Thailand because the hookers are not so fussy about you in all actuality. There are rent boys world wide but they can afford to be more choosy.

I have stayed out of this discussion because I could care less about Darwin theories etc and I also recognize that everyone has different tastes. But 2 statements you make are just not true. There are wonderful looking hookers all over the world that are not "fussy". In fact they tend to be much more expensive then Thailand but they are available and provide excellent fun even with old heavy guys like me.

 

The 2nd thing you say about 90% of the available boys online are not attractive is just ridiculous.

 

It took me exactly 2 minutes to pull 4 photos off of Planet Romeo, Hornet and jack'd. Although they might not be your type , I hardly think anyone would call them unattractive. And there are 100's more on those sites. Are some unattractive to my eye? Of Course. But there re many who I find attractive and many I think almost all on this Board would find attractive.

[abidismaili]

Well isn't that the whole intent of the OP is to dispel the stigma of "old dirty men" engaged in sex trafficking with boys more than half their age? He tries to put a positive spin on it by saying he's not settling for less as if he's pursuing a higher standard than everyone else. He claims everyone has the same predilection for twinks because he knows human beings. However, the mental contortions he goes through even ascribing Asian men with female genes is wacky and offensive to say to the least. The more frantic his assertions the more revealing his underlying insecurity. I mean truly it's no one's business so why the need to even rationalize it? I'm glad you are buying it but as I said previously he's preaching to the choir except for a few exceptions.

 

Interesting to see you do not give any counter arguments. You not like what I say so it can not be true, your mind refuses to accept this message and so you attack the messenger, because you have no arguments against the message.

 

What is then the reason you think we go to Thailand and our gay friends, who also can afford it, stay at home? For them sex is not so important? For them sex with a not that hot a man of their own age is less a problem? They also watch porn with 20 year olds, not 50 year olds, yet they only have sex with their 50 year old partner. What other reason can there be that for them sex is less important or that they settle for less?

 

Most 40 year old gay men, when they watch gay porn, watch porn with actors all around age 20. What does this tell you? Yet he has sex with his 40 year old partner. Why not with 20 year olds? He obviously fancies them a lot (judging by his porn preferences). He has sex with his partner because he settles for less. There can not be any other reason. Because if he does not settle for less wouldn't he go for his porn preferences? We go to Thailand because we go for our porn preferences, we not settle for less.

 

And now please your counter arguments. You not have them.

[steveboy]

 However, the mental contortions he goes through even ascribing Asian men with female genes is wacky and offensive to say to the least. The more frantic his assertions the more revealing his underlying insecurity. I mean truly it's no one's business so why the need to even rationalize it? I'm glad you are buying it but as I said previously he's preaching to the choir except for a few exceptions.

 

What insecurity?  

 

It seems that one telltale of insecurity is to feel offended.  And it seems from what you wrote that you took offense.

 

You can tell me that I am a dirty old man who likes young gays, that I should stay in the US and have sex with gays of my age, that I should not work out and take care of my body and not use products to make me look younger...  and I am not offended in the least.  Instead I smile and feel so glad that I don't think like you.  And the OP is not preaching to the choir but instead he exposed his thoughts about something he finds interesting, to receive our feedback that is a mixture of pro and con and makes for a positive discussion.

[steveboy]

Most 40 year old gay men, when they watch gay porn, watch porn with actors all around age 20. What does this tell you? Yet he has sex with his 40 year old partner. Why not with 20 year olds? He obviously fancies them a lot (judging by his porn preferences). He has sex with his partner because he settles for less. There can not be any other reason. Because if he does not settle for less wouldn't he go for his porn preferences? We go to Thailand because we go for our porn preferences, we not settle for less.

 

What you write makes sense.  But let's not forget that we better settle for less in many, many ways.

 

If we frequently settle for less we can feel and be rich.  If we refuse to settle for less we have good probability to end up poor.

Let's not bash those who settle for less in sex, and instead feel happy for our exceptional luck when we go on vacation. 

 

After all, our escapades are periodic changes from normal life where we don't have sex or... settle for less.

[Guest novelle]

Racist statements that perpetuate stereotypes I find offensive. Maybe you can't understand that if you haven't grown up as an Asian man in a Western society. Call it insecurity if you like but I will happily admit to it rather than having it go unchallenged. Unlike being called a dirty old man, racist stereotyping is a life long battle that can have real negative impact on individual lives. And need I remind you that someone in the early part of the last century also used Darwinism to support his racist views which resulted in the Holocaust.

[numazu]

Racist statements that perpetuate stereotypes I find offensive. Maybe you can't understand that if you haven't grown up as an Asian man in a Western society. Call it insecurity if you like but I will happily admit to it rather than having it go unchallenged. Unlike being called a dirty old man, racist stereotyping is a life long battle that can have real negative impact on individual lives. And need I remind you that someone in the early part of the last century also used Darwinism to support his racist views which resulted in the Holocaust.

This is amazing novelle, this is so spot on. I’ve dealt with this negative stereotyping all my life. I grew up in Southern California, and I was a super twink in my 20s. Probably 90% of the guys who hit on me want to fetishize and feminize me, assume I am a certain way, because I was young, Asian, and a twink. Sometimes I would go with it, being naïve and gullible and all that, but a few encounters have been degrading and pathetic. When I turned 30 I decided to put on muscle, as an unconscious way of masculinizing myself to people. I soon realized that I was doing it for the wrong reasons, and I was trying to fight negative stereotype of the “weak feminine Asian man”. This stereotype pervaded not only my personal life but also is reflected in popular culture. I do see my Asian brothers pack on the muscle as well for the exact same wrong reason as I did. I am glad things are changing, Like what you see in Taiwan and Thailand.

 

Now I am more comfortable in my own skin. I’m still muscular sure, but because I’ve owned it as part of who I want to continue being, not because I am trying to break stereotypes, or satisfy anyone’s idea of what an Asian man should be. This thread has hit close to home because I am reminded of what negative stereotypes are still out there, and how it continues to affect my life.

[steveboy]

Racist statements that perpetuate stereotypes I find offensive. Maybe you can't understand that if you haven't grown up as an Asian man in a Western society. Call it insecurity if you like but I will happily admit to it rather than having it go unchallenged. Unlike being called a dirty old man, racist stereotyping is a life long battle that can have real negative impact on individual lives. And need I remind you that someone in the early part of the last century also used Darwinism to support his racist views which resulted in the Holocaust.

 

I haven't grown up as an Asian man in a Western society, but I grew up as a gay person in the closet.  Gays we have been stereotyped throughout history second to none.  Was I offended?  I never thought that this would do any good. It has been a fact of life, one of the crosses that was my destiny to carry.  Another cross was to be raised in a modest family in a society that was upper middle class and gone to schools with many rich kids. I was always the least popular person and never outstanding except for my grades.  But having overcome all that is now a reason for much pride.  And a feeling of having been fortunate.

 

We should give us some slack and don't worry if we stereotype, or if we have racist feelings like not being attracted to a certain race.  None of this is evil or criminal.  You think that if Darwinism hadn't existed this psychotic Hitler would not have found a justification to exterminate so many people in the ethnic groups he hated? 

[Shonen]

 

I think Abidismaili is right. I could settle for less but I choose Asian twinks. However I feel fortunate that I have the freedom and money to choose, many do not. In fact I feel lucky that today I saw my doctor and I admitted I have many young sex partners in Thailand and instead of putting me down she suggested I use Travada to protect myself.

[Guest novelle]

I haven't grown up as an Asian man in a Western society, but I grew up as a gay person in the closet.  Gays we have been stereotyped throughout history second to none.  Was I offended?  I never thought that this would do any good. It has been a fact of life, one of the crosses that was my destiny to carry.  Another cross was to be raised in a modest family in a society that was upper middle class and gone to schools with many rich kids. I was always the least popular person and never outstanding except for my grades.  But having overcome all that is now a reason for much pride.  And a feeling of having been fortunate.

 

We should give us some slack and don't worry if we stereotype, or if we have racist feelings like not being attracted to a certain race.  None of this is evil or criminal.  You think that if Darwinism hadn't existed this psychotic Hitler would not have found a justification to exterminate so many people in the ethnic groups he hated? 

 

So basically you are admitting you were a coward who hid in the closet so that you won't experience discrimination. I don't know how that helps your argument but whatever...Thank God for the drag queens at Stonewall who threw the first brick and now you can live in a freer society. Unfortunately, I can't hide my slanty eyes. This is an example of white privilege --- going through the world not even knowing all the perks and invincibility your cloak of whiteness confers on you --- so you can easily dismiss stereotyping as nothing evil or criminal. SMH Here's another newsflash: People die (ever heard of  Black Lives Matter?) because AA men are stereotyped as dangerous thugs, certain careers are virtually shut out to Asians like acting except in stereotyped roles e.g. Kung Fu master or computer geek, and even positive stereotypes made a girl I know in high school commit suicide coz she was bad in math and couldn't handle the pressure put on her by teachers and society. Oh but I should give some slack and don't worry. Sorry when I see racism and stereotyping I also want to throw a brick so that future generations can experience a better world.

[abidismaili]

What a nonsense this complaining about racism as an Asian in white dominated societies. What a stupidity. 

 

1) Western societies are the least racist and the most tolerant in all of human history.

 

2) Western societies accept the most refugees, even if they have a different culture or faith. I know for a fact Japan or China would never allow millions of white refugees to live in their nations. Japan - a rich country - but still ethnically homogeneous. Why? How many Syrian refugees will Japan allow? 

 

3) I know for a fact Muslim majority nations would never allow thousands and thousands of Christian refugees to settle in them, let alone hundreds of thousands or millions as Europe does now. Let alone Jews.

 

4) If an Asian actor in a white country can only play certain roles that is because he lives in a white dominated country. In Indonesian movies white actors play only the Dutch colonialist. Never a government minister or a doctor in an Indonesian village. Is this racism? I think an Asian in the USA can much more easily receive the role for president of the United States, than white guy can play the role of president of Indonesia.

 

5) In a big Dutch city we have a Muslim mayor. How likely is it a big Muslim city will get a Christian mayor or a Jewish one? 

 

White societies are the least racist and the most tolerant ever. It is not perfect yes. But far more perfect than many other nations, including Asian nations. Please stop complaining. you degrade yourself. 

 

People complaining about white racism should look at other cultures. You have no idea. Again: Western societies are the most free, the least racist and the most tolerant in all, all of human history. Fact!!!

[witty]

Jakarta, a huge Muslim city in Indonesia has a non-Muslim mayor of Chinese heritage( he's either a Christian or Buddhist or Taoist ). No issues whatsoever although Indonesia has more than 80% Muslims in the country.

The country was colonized by the Dutch who caused untold miseries to the local populations. The colonial powers have exploited free societies around the world for hundreds of years.

Now is payback time for them to open their doors widely to refugees.