Do we go to Thailand because we do not settle for less?

[abidismaili]

Sometimes I look at these free cam sites, like Chaturbate where in the males section you can see guys from age 18 till very old, showing themselves on cam.

 

You often see gay couples there. And certainly when go watch males 30 and up, the bodies aren't that attractive anymore. A bit overweight, not in shape, face not beautiful, etc. He is then sucked or fucked by his partner, who is about the same age (and often about the same looks). I just can't believe his partner gets aroused by that body (and vice versa). It really are not what are in general considered hot bodies.

 

I notice this often with gay and also hetero couples. Both look average or below average and I just can't believe their partner arouses them.

 

I have a theory. Most humans do not have strict standards for sex partners. They settle for average or even below average. It is not important for them, the personality of the partner is far more important and having sex is important, but its ok as long as there is dick too suck and the other side doesn't look to horrendous and has a nice personality.

 

But then there is also a brand of humans - I am part of this - who really only wants sex with the top 10% in looks and bodies. Which forces me to go to Thailand because at my age you have to pay for these bodies and in Thailand its cheaper.

 

So I have the theory that we - who go to Thailand for sex - belong to a category of humans who just can not settle for less when it comes to sex. The bulk of humans can settle for less, but we are the exception and that is why we have sex with a 20 year old hot Thai boy and not with a 40 year old average looking gay we meet on Gayromeo in Europe.

 

Or are the partners of average looking, or below average looking males, really aroused by the body of their partner? Someone really believes that?

[forky123]

Looks are nice but far from the most important thing for me. I come to Thailand because I have a stressful job and need to get away from it all. I also love both receiving and giving massage. Thailand, for me, is a restful couple or three weeks where I can get plenty of massage and plenty of sex with no stress. I can spend as much, or as little, time with a boy as I want. Unlike most on here, I rarely go into a boy bar, but visit loads of massage places. I would rather have a boy skilled in massage and sex than someone that looks great but not as skilled.

[vinapu]

I could just copy and paste what forky said above and add bar since I visit at least one daily.

 

For me it's going away from it all, changing scenery and daily routines completely. I never go to bars at home so spent a lot of time in them in LOS, phone at work rings constantly so I don't use phone in Thailand at all and so on.

 

Men ,  their beauty and availability  is deciding but not only one factor making me so relaxed and rested while vacationing there.

 

As for abdismaili's theory I have my doubts. From discussion in models  and other threads it's plainly visible that  each of us has own top 10% is attracted to and there's no universal formula as what it makes us attracted to others sex wise.

 

Hunky bods arousing some are making others running with scream , skinny twinks of barely legal age chased by some aren't deserving second look by others with everything in between.

 

one of biggest joys of vacationing there is visiting bars and massages in company of other members - fun comparing notes and opinions and eye opener  as to what some see as attractive as opposite to what we do. 

 

One of members I proudly presented quite of few of my boys invariably classifies them as 'too fat ', another one who shares exactly the same taste like me still always seems to be attracted to different boy then me so it's obvious that there's so many nuances .

 

No  wonder,  lots of average looking people are aroused in presence of other equally average looking , they may see and feel something others   will not.

 

 

Person settling for 20 y.o hot Thai boy instead of 40 y.o. average looking European in not settling for 10% of best, is just settling for 20 y.o. hot Thai boy who he thinks fits in 10% best.

 

And we will not even start discussion of relation between looks and sex - average looking body  may be sex machine , it's why we always wondered what handsome uncle Edgar sees in overweight and ugly faced aunt Edna.

 

Or fact that sometimes beautiful face is attached   to unattractive body or sexy built is topped by ugly face / guy who was or may be still is top in sex shows in XBoys Bangkok comes to my mind /.

[firecat69]

90% or more of the men who come here are at least mildly attracted to Asians or in fact may be Asians. I have friends who hire like crazy in USA and will not come to Thailand because they are not attracted to Asians. Nothing I can say will change their mind. They would rather pay up to 10x as much for a similar age and body white twink.

 

Now that we can admit most men who visit here are attracted to Asians and in many instances those who are considerably younger then the visitors have other reasons they come here.

 

Certainly there are other Asian countries with Hot Boys but Thailand has a much greater range of offerings. Gay Apps, Bars, Massage Parlors , Saunas etc . Of course it also helps that a wide range of reasonable Hotels are available.

 

And depending on where you spend your time , what you pay for your SEX , Massage etc is at the low end of any other Asian countries , when you take into account how many boys exist for your pleasure.Sure an individual boy might cost you a bit less in poorer countries like Laos, Cambodia etc but your choice would be much smaller.

 

I have been coming to Thailand for 14 years and appreciate the culture and history but if for some magical reason the ease of hiring boys ceased, my visits would cease.

 

22 or more hours in airplanes must have rewards and most of the time I want the rewards to be boys with a notable exception or two.

[Guest bkktourist]

What a silly way to rationalize your desire to have sex with barely legal boys who do anything for $$.

 

You want to paint yourself as some elite "won't settle for less" while the reality is the rest of the world thinks you are a pervert paying young boys for sex.

 

As long as you have convinced yourself, keep going with that.

[firecat69]

I'm pretty sure the rest of the world thinks you are a JERK and since you contribute nothing to this Board in 2 years of membership, I certainly don't care!

[Guest Stewart]

You want to paint yourself as some elite "won't settle for less" while the reality is the rest of the world thinks you are a pervert paying young boys for sex.

 

 

I wonder where you get your intelligence from about the opinions of "the rest of the world". Or are you comparing paying for sex with young boys (or girls) against getting sex for free ?

[Guest bkktourist]

Rationalize all we want, 50 and 60 year olds having sex with 18-22 year old boys is more about the 50-60 year old's inability to cope with their lost life and their inability to mature properly.

 

18-22 year old boys are with them simply because of the sad fact that they are poor and do anything to survive. As anyone would expect.

 

I enjoy the Thai boys as much as anyone does, but I don't try to rationalize my interest as simply not settling for less than the best.

 

Original poster seems almost disgusted that people can be aroused by someone who say looks like himself. A middle age man who is no longer "beautiful". That to me shows a lack of self acceptance.

[Guest abang1961]

Simply put, there is a demand and so the supply increases.

No one holds a gun at the boys in Thailand, they are suitably rewarded monetarily. 

No one holds a gun at the farangs, they are happy to part the token of appreciation.

 

Let us not analyse the situation further.

Thailand is the Land of Smiles, the Land for Pleasure.

 

Let us not complicate things too much.

Just enjoy the "friends/Companionship" because we deserve pampering as much as they do.

 

One more thing:

I believe I can no longer maintain a beautiful physique at my ripe age (although I try).

But hey, I am beautiful because I feel the glow from within.

I have arrived to the fact that I no longer try to "act" young .... wolf in sheep skin syndrome?

I can only improve on my personality and use my charms, my experience to woo others.

[steveboy]

Rationalize all we want, 50 and 60 year olds having sex with 18-22 year old boys is more about the 50-60 year old's inability to cope with their lost life and their inability to mature properly.

 

Where do you get from that the attraction the 50-60 year old feel for the 18-22 year old comes from "inability to cope with their lost life and their inability to mature properly" ?

 

We all have things we like since we were children.  I myself haven't lost my likeness for ice cream,  for strawberries, for the music of Mozart,  for my fascination with mechanical toys, even as I have "matured".   If I have the same joy now eating ice cream than I had as a child, would this be "inability to mature properly"?  No, that would be nonsense.  The same nonsense is to claim that enjoying sex now like I did as a teenager is "inability to mature properly". 

 

Maybe your problem is one with the  "lack of morality" of a 50-60 year old having sex with a 18-22 year old. 

Well... who are you to judge that?  Maybe you lack more morality in your sanctimonious attitude and your nerve to think that you should be the judge of others.  Or maybe this is simply a lack of intelligence, of independent thinking that doesn't let you see beyond some dumb prejudices your brain was washed out with.

 

Those who freely dedicate themselves to prostitution are not being victimized. They would still be able to make a modest living without prostituting themselves.  One can rather think that they have been blessed with having a physical attraction that makes prostitution profitable for them.  We can be sure that many 50-60 year old would gladly change places with the 18-22 year old they have sex with if any amount of money would allow this.  So... where you see a problem?

[steveboy]

Original poster seems almost disgusted that people can be aroused by someone who say looks like himself. A middle age man who is no longer "beautiful". That to me shows a lack of self acceptance.

 

If this looks to you like "lack of self-acceptance",  you are really desperate to find fault in others.

 

It makes sense that an 18 year old is aroused by another 18 year old

It does NOT make sense that a 60 year old is aroused by another 60 year old. This is a fact of nature.

 

You may not understand it, but our personality with its likes and dislikes may not change much with age, while external appearance changes a lot.   I have to agree with the original poster.  If a 60 year old has sex with another 60 year old, it most probably is because he cannot find anything better.  But if he can,  GOOD FOR HIM!

[bkkguy]

It does NOT make sense that a 60 year old is aroused by another 60 year old. This is a fact of nature.

 

if  a male animal wants to maximize his chance of reproductive success he will choose a partner with suitable attributes, one of which may be youth; but given that most human sex these days is not for reproduction I am not sure what "fact of nature" you think supports your case - particularly for gay men, and particularly for gay men more interested in a long term relationship than a quick fuck

 

just because you are not attracted to same age or older partners, taking the anecdotal evidence of a small number of older gay people on a small forum who happen to enjoy paid sex with younger sexy Thai guys does not support your outrageous claims such as "If a 60 year old has sex with another 60 year old, it most probably is because he cannot find anything better" and if you really think this statement is a "fact of nature" then I suspect you may have a very limited understanding of the world around you

 

bkkguy

[Gaybutton]

bkkguy

 

I thought I'd never see the day, but I agree with every word bkkguy wrote in his post above.

[Guest abang1961]

As repulsive as it seems, there is absolutely nothing queer (pun intended) for mature people to have sex together.

If I ever have the same partner for 20 years or more, would that partner be a part of my family?

 

Back to the logic of money talks ... I am hitting 60 soon and if and only if, by that time, I need to pay for sex for obvious reasons.  No one is willing to sleep with an overweight, wrinkled Asian!  Thus a young, innocent man should be the consenting choice,   One wants the physical pleasure and the other gets the dough... by the way, who says that the young man don't enjoy sex with an older man.. 

 

 

Perhaps when we next have a date with an extraordinary Thai fiiend, we can play this song..until when?

Nat King Cole's Quizas, Quizas, Quizas is playing in the background.

 

Siempre que te pregunto
Que cundo cmo y dnde
T siempre me respondes
Quizs, quizs, quizs

Y as pasan los das
Y yo desesperando
Y t, t, contestando
Quizs, quizs, quizs

Ests perdiendo el tiempo
Pensando, pensando
Por lo que ms t quieras
Hasta cuando, hasta cuando

Y as pasan los das
Y yo desesperando
Y t, t contestando
Quizs, quizs, quizs

 

 

"Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps"

I am always asking you
When, how and where
You always tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

The days pass this way
And I am despairing
And you, you always answer
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

You are wasting time
Thinking, thinking
That which you want most
Until when? Until when?

The days pass this way
And I am despairing
And you, you always answer
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

You are wasting time
Thinking, thinking
That which you want most
Until when? Until when?

 

[steveboy]

if  a male animal wants to maximize his chance of reproductive success he will choose a partner with suitable attributes, one of which may be youth; but given that most human sex these days is not for reproduction I am not sure what "fact of nature" you think supports your case - particularly for gay men, and particularly for gay men more interested in a long term relationship than a quick fuck

 

just because you are not attracted to same age or older partners, taking the anecdotal evidence of a small number of older gay people on a small forum who happen to enjoy paid sex with younger sexy Thai guys does not support your outrageous claims such as "If a 60 year old has sex with another 60 year old, it most probably is because he cannot find anything better" and if you really think this statement is a "fact of nature" then I suspect you may have a very limited understanding of the world around you

 

bkkguy

 

It seems that here it is you who has a very limited understanding of the world around you, or, you don't want to accept a reality that you perfectly understand.

 

Your considering yourself so different from "a male animal" may point to some religious indoctrination.  And what has reproduction to do with being turned on or not?   You think that gays get turned on differently because there is no reproduction?  Or that a guy gets less turned on by a girl if she uses contraceptives?  What a strange, weird idea!

 

I did not talk about relationships, about love. My comment was about arousal, and this has to do with SEX, not other kind of emotive attractions.  

 

I can have sex with 60 year old's but this does not mean that they arouse me.  I would not do it purely for SEX.  I am much more aroused by younger people,  and I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE, and even less because I am one among "older gay people on a small forum who happen to enjoy paid sex with younger guys".  How can you write something so idiotic?

 

Only once in my life have I paid to have sex with a younger guy, and this was in Pattaya more than 10 years ago. This was an interesting and satisfying experiment, but I find younger people to have sex with without paying a cent, and this also appeals to my pride. But as time passes and I get older I am looking forward to TREAT MYSELF to good sex by paying if this is the way to find it, and I have ZERO moral hangups about it.

 

You meanwhile can enjoy yourself having sex with people your age or by masturbating  (unless you are a total hypocrite and you pay for sex too)  

[steveboy]

Siempre que te pregunto

Que cundo cmo y dnde

T siempre me respondes

Quizs, quizs, quizs

Y as pasan los das

Y yo desesperando

Y t, t, contestando

Quizs, quizs, quizs

----

 

Nat King Cole has such a nice smooth voice.  It is fun to hear his Spanish spoken with American accent,  hahaha

 

But to read Spanish with Singaporean spelling is far less appealing!

There are plenty of good dictionaries and spell checkers online.

[Londoner]

I've met a number of Thai guys who are "into" older men. Some of them have never had sex with someone of their own age, they claim. It's possible that the respect paid to the old in Asian countries is partly responsible for this....I've never come across it in Europe.

[abidismaili]

Bkkguy makes some mistakes in his reasoning. I agree with Steveboy.

 

For relationships you take of course someone your own age (because that works in general better). 

But nature, biology, has programmed us to be aroused by young bodies. This evolutionary selection happened because male humans who were aroused by young women reproduced more, than male humans who only felt sexual lust for a 40 year old. The genes of the last category of males soon died out, because there were far less children born if you like 40 and up. So evolution has produced in males a lust for younger bodies. Females can get aroused much more easily by a 40 or even well build 50 year old male, than vice versa. Because in females there was no selection pressure to like young more.

 

Of course - as always - there are people who have different desires. Some people want to fuck a tree, others a baby, yet others only 60+, or only fat bodies. But these people who have that kind of hardware are very rare. They are exceptions.

 

The rule for male humans is to feel sexual attraction for young sexual ripe bodies. So 16-25 is prime age for attraction. 

 

This is nature.

 

If you see a male gay couple of 50 year olds who have sex, then in most cases it is because of the following reason:

They are friends, they have a relationship, they like being together (because most humans seek a partner, don't want to be alone, and gays seek a male partner and it works in general better if that partner is of your own age). But when they have sex it is not the case that the body of the other arouses him so much. They just need to get hornyness reduced and at that age a 20 year old is not available without paying, so they suck their partner. Not because he has such a great body.

 

We are the normal ones. Those males who get aroused by overweight bold 40 year olds they are ABNORMAL. We are NORMAL. Were the definition of normal is: most common. Like it is normal to have 10 fingers and not 9. Someone with 9 fingers is abnormal in the physical sense.

[numazu]

I have a good friend who is in his late 20s (half Asian, half white) whose optimal partner is white guys between 40-mid 50s. He says late 40s is his sweet spot. He likes hairy white guys, with facial hair, who are stout and muscular and don’t mind if there’s a belly as long as it complements the whole package. I guess that's why he drags me to the Eagle (a leather bar in Los Angeles) every chance he gets. He’s told me more than once that he can’t wait to be the same age as his sex partners, because normally he gets hit on by younger white guys, who he entertains but does not like, and gets ignored by the silver muscle daddies because they go for guys similar to them.

 

Once in a while I get a 18-22 year old on Grindr wanting sex (this is in California). Asking more questions reveals that they want someone old and more experienced to teach them the ropes and practice having sex with guys. I’ve gotten over the fact that, at 35 years old, that these kids think I am “old”, and just relish the fact that there are kids their age that still want me. Conversely, sometimes I do not have the patience to be the “teacher” and just want to get my rocks off by someone who knows what they’re doing. A common complaint with some of my friends who like having someone young, but do not like the bad sex. And it’s just not the young inexperienced once, there are guys who've just come out and are not experienced with gay sex yet, so there’s that. I guess the beauty (or downside, pick your poison), of getting boys in Thailand is that they have been around the block more than once, so they probably know what good sex feels like.

 

I certainly do not feel that I go to Thailand and pay for sex to “not settle for less”. I find white guys more attractive than Asians (not by much tho), which explains why my BF is white and close to my age. We met when he was 26, when he was a tall lean twink then. Now he is more muscular and a little bit more mature (at 34) but I find him more attractive now than in his mid-20s. So if I was going to “not settle for less”, then I guess I would have to troll around the college campuses on Grindr, or go to Prague or Rio De Janeiro to rent my knight in shining white armor. But I choose to go to Thailand because of the overall scene. The weather, the beaches, the food, the overall mood, and yes, the beautiful boys, free or not, all add up to my idea of paradise. If it was just sex for me, I would just stay here in Los Angeles. But I always find myself going back to Thailand for more.

[steveboy]

We are the normal ones. Those males who get aroused by overweight bold 40 year olds they are ABNORMAL. We are NORMAL. Were the definition of normal is: most common. Like it is normal to have 10 fingers and not 9. Someone with 9 fingers is abnormal in the physical sense.

 

Your whole post, besides making some good points, has good sense of humor, like in the last paragraph.

I've never seen one who was born with 9 fingers, but among the 7 billion humans, there should be some.

Maybe Bkkguy has an analytical way to find out how much more probable is the arousal by overweight bold 40 year old compared to the probability of having 9 fingers.

[Guest abang1961]

Sorry I don't speak Spanish ..but I do listen to these older songs much.

I actually like the version by Andrea Bocelli (with Jennifer Lopez).

 

One more time (the lyrics)

Siempre que te pregunto, 
Que cuando, como y donde, 
Tu siempre me respondes; 
Quizas, quizas, quizas.

Y asi pasan los dias, 
Y yo desesperando, 
Y tu, tu, contestando; 
Quizas, quizas, quizas.

Estas perdiendo el tiempo, 
Pensando, pensando; 
Por lo que mas tu quieras, 
Hasta cuando, hasta cuando.

Y asi pasan los dias, 
Y yo desesperando, 
Y tu, tu contestando; 
Quizas, quizas, quizas.

Siempre que te pregunto, 
Que cuando, como y donde, 
Tu siempre me respondes; 
Quizas, quizas, quizas.

Y asi pasan los dias, 
Y yo hay desesperando, 
Y tu, tu contestando; 
Quizas, quizas, quizas.

 

**** When I was a teenager and discover gay sex initially, almost all my partners-in-crime were boys of my age.

When I entered tertiary education, my taste in men changed (for the better).  I discovered the joy of companionship with  older guys, as long as they are not obese nor physically unattractive.  Excuse me but as a young man then, most Westerners living or visiting Singapore were generously endowed.  They had better personal grooming and heaps of exposure to many facets of life.  They know how to pamper and guide me.  No money was exchanged but lots of life experiences were shared.  And that's the allure of matured men.

[steveboy]

This is a much better writing of Spanish.  Thank you for the effort.

 

The Westerners visiting Singapore at the time of your tertiary education you were describing...  match me perfectly well

 

But the first time I visited your island was in October of 2006.

It seems that we the good Westerners are not going extinct too fast in Singapore      

[Jasper]

Rationalize all we want, 50 and 60 year olds having sex with 18-22 year old boys is more about the 50-60 year old's inability to cope with their lost life and their inability to mature properly.

 

For me, I would say that it's a longing for my own lost youth, beauty and fear of the inevitable mortality.

 

Sometimes, I see myself in a Dirk Bogarde role in Visconti's film

"Death in Venice" when I am with a Thai boy although in my case he is + 30years old not a 16 years old.

 

I am in awe of their youth, beauty, strength and their innocence that only youth can bring.Yes I was there too.

 

Like a protagonist in a film, I imagine myself dead somewhere in a

corner of a Bangkok boy bar(preferably in Tawan ) and I'd be happy.

[vinapu]

 

Like a protagonist in a film, I imagine myself dead somewhere in a

corner of a Bangkok boy bar(preferably in Tawan ) and I'd be happy.

I'm almost the same , I imagine myself alive somewhere in a corner of Tawan and I'm sure I'd be happy 

[abidismaili]

I want to add to my previous post:

Since females did not experience selection pressure to like only young (females can much more easily get aroused by a 40 or 50 year old) this means many feminine gays (more or less females in a male body) can indeed get aroused by mature men.

But for most manly gays the prime age of attraction is for young sexually ripe bodies, lets say 16-25.

 

Sometimes I think Asian gays have more female genes than Western males, causing it to be more normal for an Asian gay, certainly a feminine Asian gay to like older bodies. For Western gays it is however standard practice to like only young.

You see this clearly in the Western gay world and culture.