End of an era...single again.

[steveboy]

I've been with my bf getting on 9 years and I can't really envisage not being together or what could lead to a break up, but that's the thing you just never know sometimes. Our getting together was a slow burn over a length of time which just kind of crept up on me as when I first met him I wasn't earnestly looking for a relationship, but now I too would be devastated if anything suddenly happened. He's been my only Thai bf so have never gone through a break up to know/understand what you are going through, only that it must hurt.

 

You sound like you could benefit from knowing what can cause a break up with a Thai BF of 5 years, or 9 years.  It is always the best to learn from the experience of others, and prevent before having to cure.

 

Don't worry,  I take the wrap from Anonone, who does not seem to realize that his experience can benefit others.

[Smiles]

My dearest and moi have been together 16 years now. If he just mentioned ~ of-the-cuff ~ that he's decided to break up with me I'd be mightily inclined to unceremoniously boot his ass straight out the door ... only stopping to ask for my money back. 

[steveboy]

My dearest and moi have been together 16 years now. If he just mentioned ~ of-the-cuff ~ that he's decided to break up with me I'd be mightily inclined to unceremoniously boot his ass straight out the door ... only stopping to ask for my money back. 

 

Didn't you forget one thing?

Asking him why he wants to break up?

 

Moi, I have been together with my dearest for nearly 19 years. 

I know exactly why he would break up with me.

He has told me in many occasions... and I have an ear to listen.

[Smiles]

Didn't you forget one thing?

 

Oops ... I forgot to warn you (specifically you, that is) about an incoming tongue-in-cheek missile.

Damn, I keep forgetting that.

[steveboy]

 

Oops ... I forgot to warn you (specifically you, that is) about an incoming tongue-in-cheek missile.

Damn, I keep forgetting that.

 

 

Thank you for the warning.

I'm not too vulnerable, but if a missile blows me up,

not much is lost.  I have lived long enough.  

[Guest anonone]

I see steveboy has once again edited his posts, this time to remove the more offensive comments.  I will never understand the fun people get trolling on internet forums. 

 

@shamahan  Thanks for your post.  It was well beyond infatuation.  You calling it a "habit" actually made me chuckle a bit.  In a small way, it is similar to when I quit smoking all those years ago. We habitually talked at certain times of the day, and I have caught myself reaching for the phone, much as I used to subconsciously reach for a pack of cigarettes.  Though I won't mention any other types of cravings.  LOL

[steveboy]

I see steveboy has once again edited his posts, this time to remove the more offensive comments.  I will never understand the fun people get trolling on internet forums. 

 

Can you please explain why I am "trolling" these forums while you are not ??

 

What "offensive comments" have I edited out?  

Why haven't you edited out your "offensive comments" towards me?

And you think that this topic of your break up is much fun??

 

Is it possible that the pain of break up may have blown some fuses in your brain?

[Alexx]

Is it possible that the pain of break up may have blown some fuses in your brain?

And then you come along and rub it in, as if the break up by itself weren't bad enough for the OP. Your lack of empathy is appalling.

[Guest FossilGay]

I see steveboy has once again edited his posts, this time to remove the more offensive comments.

 

How long is the edit feature available after a post has been made?

[Guest FossilGay]

Fellow,  you should have thought about keeping your breakup confidential before starting this thread. Nobody forced you to do so.  But you had to wallow in your self-pity and seek the sympathy of everyone.

 

I don't see it that way at all.  I don't see anonone seeking sympathy or wallowing in self pity.  He said:

 

I debated posting about it at all, but I plan to remain active in the forums, as well as returning to Thailand for travels.  It would just be weird to not let everyone know as I am sure it would come up in posts and such.

 

 

He simply wanted to let people know that he was no longer attached to preempt awkward questions later on as most people on the forums and in real life know him as being in a long-term relationship with a Thai guy.  This makes sense to me.  I can imagine a member of the Barmy Army or some other vicious, bored, old queen foaming at the mouth if they were to see anonone or his ex walking down Sunee Plaza with a different guy.  Of course there's no stopping a nasty queen from gossiping (they'll just make things up!) but at least anonone's friends will know what's going on and he wouldn't have to keep explaining himself again and again.

[a447a]

Steve, I think your comments in this thread are a little harsh.

 

Anonone simply posted that:

a) he'd broken up with his long-term bf and there would be no reconciliation

b) he feels upset

c) life goes on

 

Nowhere did he "wallow in...self-pity."

 

As for his ex bf having a voice here, he doesn't need one as anonone did not have a single unkind word to say about him, so he has no need for the right of reply. There is nothing to reply to. Anonone did not apportion any blame for the break-up. Neither side of the story has been mentioned.

 

And as for the reason for the break-up being announced here on the grounds that it may help other farang in the same situation, I don't think any member here is obligated to reveal such personal information to help others.

[Guest FossilGay]

Neither in your posts nor in the chorus of responses with much pity and consolations that there are still many Thai warm bodies to be had, does one find one word of sympathy or any other thought for the other part in the breakup, your former Thai boyfriend.  He has no voice in this forum, and we won't hear his side of the story from him.  It is like he is not a person.

 

This is nothing new.  Nobody's other half on this forum, be it anonone's ex boyfriend or one of numazu's imaginary friends, has had a voice in this forum, be it in good times or in bad times.  So why bring it up now?  To take a random example, who's to say that Smiles's boyfriend of 16 years is really happy or he's only in the relationship because this is as good as it gets for him financially  (just a hypothetical example  so please don't take offence, Smiles)?  Nobody has said anything negative about anonone's ex and we do not know him or the circumstances of the break up to know if he is grieving over it or not.  Who's to say that he does not have his own support system within his own Thai community, a support system which anonone does not have access to?  These guys are a lot more resilient than you give them credit for.  Anonone visits for only one-two weeks a few times a year; his ex plays on his own turf all-year round.  

 

Steveboy, the way you stood up to Gaybutton and rebutted his insults, put-downs and "I-don't-cares" with logic and reasoned argument made me think that you're a poster who deserves more than just a cursory read.  So let's stay focussed on the real trouble makers and control freaks who seek to stifle debate and promote only their views of Thailand; the 'iron fists' and 'thought police' who don't practise what they preach and who seek to deny others a forum for their views and opinions through intimidation, insults and put-downs.

[Guest FossilGay]

I can understand that emotional void as I had went through it so many times. At one juncture, I began to question my suitability to have a long-lasting relationship but as they said, fools rush in...

 

If your posts are any indication, I would strongly encourage you to keep questioning.

[steveboy]

And then you come along and rub it in, as if the break up by itself weren't bad enough for the OP. Your lack of empathy is appalling.

 

I had sufficient empathy to answer his post right away, 2nd post of the thread, since he said he was suffering.

 

I don't see it that way at all.  I don't see anonone seeking sympathy or wallowing in self pity.  He said:

 

 

He simply wanted to let people know that he was no longer attached to preempt awkward questions later as most people on the forums and in real life know him as being in a long-term relationship with a Thai guy.  This makes sense to me.  I can imagine a member of the Barmy Army or some other vicious, bored, old queen foaming at the mouth if they were to see anonone or his ex walking down Sunee Plaza with a different guy.  Of course there's no stopping a nasty queen from gossiping (they'll just make things up!) but at least anonone's friends will know what's going on and he wouldn't have to keep explaining himself again and again.

 

I didn't see it as that either,  until he got all upset because I inquired about his Thai boyfriend.  He was very happy to receive everyone's sympathy, but my sympathy for his Thai BF he could not tolerate.

He should have answered that the BF was OK, taken care of, or whatever.  Especially since he said that people here know his Thai BF.  I am a stranger in this issue,  but...  you people were not interested about the fate of him too ???

 

If you are his friend and you defend him, this is fine.  But he is a stranger to me and I don't like to be attacked, especially when I feel that I am doing the right thing.  Tell your friend that he should not call other members "trolls" because he is afraid of facing a reasonable post.

[Guest anonone]

Thanks everyone, for the posts.

 

@FossilGay

I have no idea how long a post can be edited here.  As I am sure many other members have noticed, there have been multiple edits of multiple posts by steveboy over the course of this thread.  On other forums I participate in (not Thai related), there is always an indication on the post if it has been edited and when.  This site apparently does not have that feature. 

 

And thanks for understanding/repeating the intent behind my initial post. 

 

@a447a

Bingo on your post...spot on.  For which I hope Buddha blesses you with a feast of large cocks on your next visit...even more then your usual supply.  LOL

[ct2005]

I just wanted to comment that the title of the post reminds me of Carrie Bradshaw n Mr Big breaking up. The exact phrase was used in that episode .

[Guest anonone]

Wow.  I had no idea it was used before.  

 

And I will not comment on who was "Mr Big" in the relationship.  

 

LOL

[ct2005]

Wow.  I had no idea it was used before.  

 

And I will not comment on who was "Mr Big" in the relationship.  

 

LOL

Well, it's not the "exact" phrase in Sex & The City but very close. I think it is something like "Going, Going, Gone. It's an end of an era. ...

[ct2005]

Wow.  I had no idea it was used before.  

 

And I will not comment on who was "Mr Big" in the relationship.  

 

LOL

Speaking of "big", I couldn't help but wonder if there are people who would breakup 'cos of "Mr Too Big" ... just like Samantha & that guy

[Gaybutton]

Steveboy, the way you stood up to Gaybutton and rebutted his insults, put-downs and "I-don't-cares" with logic and reasoned argument made me think that you're a poster who deserves more than just a cursory read.  So let's stay focussed on the real trouble makers and control freaks who seek to stifle debate and promote only their views of Thailand; the 'iron fists' and 'thought police' who don't practise what they preach and who seek to deny others a forum for their views and opinions through intimidation, insults and put-downs.

 

I see you couldn't resist dragging me into this.  I made no posts on this topic, but here come the trolls with their insult attempts.  Yawn. Lucky for you I don't moderate this board anymore.  With the kind of behavior both you and steveboy persist in your posts, you would have been gone long ago - the first time either of you decided to post your utter crap.

[NIrishGuy]

" Lucky for you I don't moderate this board anymore."

 

 

And maybe luckier for a lot of the rest of us too perhaps .........

[steveboy]

I see you couldn't resist dragging me into this.  I made no posts on this topic, but here come the trolls with their insult attempts.  Yawn. Lucky for you I don't moderate this board anymore.  With the kind of behavior both you and steveboy persist in your posts, you would have been gone long ago - the first time either of you decided to post your utter crap.

 

Great!  You seem to be a perfect example of this kind of moderator!

 

Moderate with iron fist, not letting anybody escape your wrath, living the fantasy of a Dictator (in a little gay forum, but dictator nonetheless, hehe...) alleviating your frustrations by putting your paw on the head of those you don't like or who have made some comment that didn't flatter you. A case of moderator in need of moderation.

[Gaybutton]

And maybe luckier for a lot of the rest of us too perhaps .........

 

Perhaps . . .

 

But I see no other trolls besides those two posting on this board.  That's how they get their fun.  As soon as someone posts something that makes them vulnerable, you can bet they'll be right on it with the same kinds of posts.  Whether it's convoluted logic, total bullshit, or just plain mean, there they are.

 

And steveboy, in all his brilliance, took the bait as you can see on his post just above.  Feed a troll and it works every time.

[Guest FossilGay]

Feed a troll and it works every time.

 

Golly, you could be right!  Looking at you, would it be fair to say that you're an overfed troll?

[Gaybutton]

Golly, you could be right!  Would it be fair to say that you're an overfed troll?

 

Sorry, I forgot about the third troll.  Keep trying trolls.  Maybe one of these days you'll actually come up with something intelligent - but I doubt it.