Love in Thailand

[Vessey]

I am clearly getting old and cynical for it seems to me that love is rarely unconditional in any society; indeed it rarely ever was, except in fiction and fantasy.

 

Love is usually kindled by security, including financial security, by status, by strength, by passion and sex, or just by comfort and proximity, with each deriving something from the relationship that attracts and works for them.

 

I do not criticise the love of a Thai but it can be hard to understand at times. I my case it is their youth, beauty and sexuality that draws me closer to them. Lord knows what they see in me, a walking, snoring ATM with an  annoying sex drive possibly LOL  But, hey, if it works, it works.

[Onlyserious]

certainly these are the key points in any homosexual relationship. give meaning to life. certainly also a homosexual couple can aspire to parenthood '. But this brings us a bit off topic.

 

I want to say that just within a couple is already formed these arguments can be treated and deepened.

 

I right now I'm not going to change my attitude:

the truth.

only the truth is sincerity help form a stable and balanced pair. I assure you that the two deepest relationships when I had them both I and the partners have founded the whole truth. this is what I seek in this forum. help to understand, outside of any generalization, if being in good faith, be honest, be sincere to be monogamous, all this is or is not shared values ​​with a young Thai gay.

[Onlyserious]

certainly these are the key points in any homosexual relationship. give meaning to life. certainly also a homosexual couple can aspire to parenthood '. But this brings us a bit off topic.

 

I want to say that just within a couple is already formed these arguments can be treated and deepened.

 

I right now I'm not going to change my attitude:

the truth.

only the truth is sincerity help form a stable and balanced pair. I assure you that the two deepest relationships when I had them both I and the partners have founded the whole truth. this is what I seek in this forum. help to understand, outside of any generalization, if being in good faith, be honest, be sincere to be monogamous, all this is or is not shared values ​​with a young Thai gay.

[Guest ryanasia]

I have known a number of boys who have been happy with older guys they met for many years.  There will always be a money component and you have to be able to accept it .  But you always need to remember a much younger Love interest has to be able to have friends his own age and most importantly it is unlikely you will ever understand the way Thai boys feel towards their family and their wants not necessarily needs.

 

Hope that makes some sense?

 

Loud and clear. This is right on the money so to speak.

[steveboy]

Straight men have a different scenario altogether as they may "fathered" a child and feels the special bonding with the new born whereas gay men, what is there for us? 

 

It is not so different for us gays.  I have a child, and my love as a father is not much different than the love I had for my parents when they were alive.  The love between parent and child is of different kind than the love between partners, and the two should not mutually interfere.  Me and my child's mother we were wise to not let this happen, and we divorced when our relationship deteriorated to the point of making it desirable.  This move resulted in everyone's benefit.  The love husband-wife was suspended but the love father-child persists.  

[steveboy]

I am clearly getting old and cynical for it seems to me that love is rarely unconditional in any society; indeed it rarely ever was, except in fiction and fantasy.

 

More than cynicism what you wrote is realism.  On the positive side, we can make our love unconditional if we make the effort to have it so;  it does not come automatically.  Like happiness also requires our conscious effort and does not come automatically.

[steveboy]

I right now I'm not going to change my attitude:

the truth.

only the truth is sincerity help form a stable and balanced pair.

 

The truth is that we all have our own truth, that may be different from that of others.

 

In a relationship, it is wise not to speak out our truths too much. Even more, not to speak reality (not the same as truth) too much.  Realities, truths can hurt.   Instead, we should filter what we want to say with the test: "will this be positive?".  This is maybe one way a relationship between a young Thai and an old farang may work.  Of course, the experienced farang will have to care for this, the young Thai may not have any inkling about.

[steveboy]

Koko, I'm surprised by your statement . when comes to love nothing is impossible.

 

You must be right...  There are thousands of soap operas based on this principle.

[vinapu]

 Lord knows what they see in me, a walking, snoring ATM with an  annoying sex drive possibly LOL  But, hey, if it works, it works.

ATM is the word

[kokopelli]

. this is what I seek in this forum. help to understand, outside of any generalization, if being in good faith, be honest, be sincere to be monogamous, all this is or is not shared values ​​with a young Thai gay.

 If that is a question, the answer is NO.

[Alexx]

In all honesty, I think being monogamous doesn't rank high among young gays all over the world, that's not limited to Thailand.

[williewillie]

In all honesty, I think being monogamous doesn't rank high among young gays all over the world, that's not limited to Thailand.

It doesn't rank high among most older farangs either.

[Alexx]

Ain't that the truth!

[Onlyserious]

Traveller123. traveller123. beautiful your points of view . I will be very grateful if you could speak in my post "love in Thailand". I thank you and I hope you know motivate others to write.

[steveboy]

Traveller123. traveller123. beautiful your points of view . I will be very grateful if you could speak in my post "love in Thailand". I thank you and I hope you know motivate others to write.

 

Many in this forum have beautiful points of view, and many have spoken in your thread here.  Hopefully you have been Onlyserious to listen.

 

Someone should start a thread "Love", without the "Thailand", because there is so much to say that is universal.

Like a realization that sex and love have common areas but are not the same.

In this days of deeper understanding society should give LOVE more freedom and abandon the idealization of monogamy, at least for men, and definitely in the gay ambient.

[Onlyserious]

I am a staunch supporter of monogamy. I have seen too many marriages end up squalid betrayal of friends. I agree with the thought that in gay relationships there is more tolerance for any erotic escapades of one of the partners. but to me I straighten my dick if I love and if love is reciprocated. And I don't belive in.gay ambient....I m a gay i am.a word citizen, I belive in love for gay for hetero for everybody..

..sorry for my bad English

[steveboy]

I am a staunch supporter of monogamy. I have seen too many marriages end up squalid betrayal of friends. I agree with the thought that in gay relationships there is more tolerance for any erotic escapades of one of the partners. but to me I straighten my dick if I love and if love is reciprocated. And I don't belive in.gay ambient....I m a gay i am.a word citizen, I belive in love for gay for hetero for everybody..

..sorry for my bad English

 

Your English is fine and easy to understand.

 

I was married for many years before we ended in divorce for reasons that had nothing to do with infidelity. I loved her, but sex at the end was non existent.  I am in a relationship for nearly 20 years with a fiend who started as "boyfriend" but evolved into platonic love, with all the benefits of an open relationship, and zero disadvantages.

 

Infidelity is a main cause of relationships ending when there is an EXPECTATION of monogamy. Without this expectation, there is no reason why playing around should end a relationship. Are you in a monogamous relationship with your dick straighten?  If so, you will have realized that dicks don't like to be straightened.

 

Since I am not one of them, I can only imagine that there must be very few men who are satisfied being monogamous.  By this I mean really content, not in a situation of making strong sacrifices not to have sex with others.

 

But if it takes such a big sacrifice, there is the question of what is gained from so much sacrifice.  Maybe is it to please a God and get a better place in heaven?  Maybe to avoid STDs?  These are the only reasons that come to my mind. The reason for being monogamous SHOULD NOT BE to please a partner who has been brain washed into monogamy, because sooner or later the cat (the dick) will escape from the box.  In an ideal society, we should have the freedom to pursue the pleasurable activities nature has gifted us, like sex.  If at all,  righteousness should come from indulging in the pleasures with moderation,  like I try to do by limiting the amount of chocolate ice cream I eat.

[Londoner]

I'd be interested to know whether other falangs have experienced the transition (evolution?) from a sexual to a platonic relationship  with a Thai that Steveboy reports. I've made that journey too, and it has worked out well for both of us. I've always thought my experience unusual.

[reader]

I'd be interested to know whether other falangs have experienced the transition (evolution?) from a sexual to a platonic relationship  with a Thai that Steveboy reports. I've made that journey too, and it has worked out well for both of us. I've always thought my experience unusual.

Met a guy at Balcony on the last night of my first trip. Saw him on my next visit but only once.  He was sweet and we always chatted briefly whenever our paths crossed in Silom or at Babylon (when Babs was still a place to go to meet guys you travel half way around the world to find).

 

Went for about 7-8 years without seeing him again until 2014 when I found myself behind him in a checkout queue at the Tops market below Silom complex.  He recognized me before I did him.  Although he was with a farang who I assumed was his BF, the eye contact and smiles we exchanged told me he had good memories of me and that he was doing OK. He had matured gracefully and was now in his mid to late 30's (still offable, as Vinapu might say). 

 

It's a small world. Still smile when I think about the coincidence of it all. 

[Guest bidreamer]

Ok guys, I will tell my story as well, it has an interesting twist at the end. Met my thai bf over 4 years ago, he was 6 years younger than me and with good English to have interesting conversations with. Not a model material, but neither am I (but we don't scare small children either...). So we kept meeting, traveling, visiting each other's homes and so on. And we became attached and thinking that we can have a long term future. He had a small hair salon at home village,quite popular. From many small things it looked like he cared for me, too. Of course, thai guys easily declare their everlasting love after the first night (he now laughs about that), but to develop true feelings takes a long time for them, too. Only thing was, he was quite prone for telling things the way they sounded good, not necessarily exaclty how they happened. This is very thai, and I am no saint in this respect myself, so that kind of worked out too, with a grain of salt applied.

Now, I was coming for a Songkran holiday to spend together traveling and at his home, but a few days before I got a panicked phone call from him - police came to his salon, picked him up and were sending him to Phuket for something that happened 8 years ago! Skipping a few steps now...in the end it turned out he was a yaba dealer and co-owner of a gogo bar in Phuket, got caught by police pretending to buy drugs, and large amount of pills found in his room! As bad as it gets... He managed to do a runner and somehow only now the arrest warrant caught up with him -- he was not even aware that the police were looking for him!

So you might never know, who your sweet thai boyfriend actually is, or was!

Now any of you reading this surely say forget that guy ever existed! Well, he was a bf as well as friend, and somehow I cannot just abandon a friend even if he did something terribly bad! So when he kept asking me 'what will happen to you and me now?' as the lawyer thinks he will do 4-7 years if pleads guilty, I could not tell him 'bye-bye, nice knowing you' but said that 'I will not forget you' and probably will keep some contact.

 

So that was one thai bf love story...