Anal sex or not?

[Vessey]

Some of these boys have arses as tight as the proverbial duck's, even when they have assured you that they are gay; it makes you wonder just how often they do get fucked.

 

I have had to work hard get inside some, and with some I have just given up and settled for BJs or HJs.

[steveboy]

I don't personally like anal sex at all.  I'm definitely not a bottom, because that hurts.  If anything I'm a top, but I don't want to hurt someone I'm making love to, because sex is supposed to be pleasureful, not painful.  So I simply don't bother with anal sex at all.

 

I'm perfectly happy with blowjobs, 69, kissing, cuddling, etc.  I'm more into it for the intimacy than the orgasm, so this works just fine for me.

 

I also think that anal sex is highly overrated. To fuck an ass is very low in my fantasies.  

And about being a bottom, only once I allowed someone to entice me to bottom with promises of great pleasure, which was instead great pain. This was the first and last time in my life. 

 

So straight guys don't have to worry with me.  And I am not into straight guys anyway. But what I dislike is that so many gays want to be fucked and to satisfy them I have to give in to all this drama, that takes away from the non-anal sex I like more.

[vinapu]

Some of these boys have arses as tight as the proverbial duck's, even when they have assured you that they are gay; it makes you wonder just how often they do get fucked.

 

 

gay not necessarily means bottom, even in Thai boys slang

[forky123]

Being bottom can be painful. Usually when a guy has only concern for his own pleasure as a top and does not prep the bottom well. I've had some pain from only moderately endowed guys who just don't get that it takes a while to stretch the muscles and lubricate properly to take a cock with no pain. Against that I've had some very hung guys who caused no pain and only a great deal of pleasure. I once nearly stopped a guy topping me as he was over 10 inches with a big girth. He spent about 20 minutes with fingers, tongue, plenty of lube and a lot of patience so that when he finally topped me there was no pain whatsoever even when he was in all the way. It's all about who you do it with rather than the act itself.

[Travellerdave]

I have to agree. Even with perfect communication, some boys refuse to bottom after saying they would in the bar.

Some top boys can't get hard or stay hard and will offer to bottom.

You never know what will happen. You can cover all the bases, being versatile.

I define myself as versatile with a tendency towards bottom. My ideal overnight with a boy in my bed would be an initial period of kissing sucking and rimming, following which I have the urge to be penetrated. The problem sometimes then arises after applying lube the boy looses his erection after previously it being rock hard. I hate it when he fumbles about wanking to get hard with the condom slipping off. We them have to start again with him lubing himself ready for my cock.

This is in the wrong order for me but it shows the advantage of versatility. Hours later after sleeping the boy very often recovers his confidence and completes the deal.

[abidismaili]

which was instead great pain. This was the first and last time in my life. 

 

 

I recognize this. I have been a bottom a few times (you need to give it a try, not?) but each time I failed to see the pleasure. Even if not that painful, pleasure was totally absent. I fail to see how bottom boys get pleasure this way. Are their bodies 'down there' different? They have a pleasure spot in the anus (which is triggered when a penis touches it) which other men lack?

 

Or bottom boys also dont get pleasure from the fucking? They just like to be dominated. It is just a fetish? There is also for them maybe some pain involved, but they just like the idea being dominated. They still need to jerk off to ejaculate.

 

Can a bottom please explain here in all honesty what makes it nice for them? Is it the idea being dominated or is the fucking action really giving physical pleasure?

[forky123]

There are a huge number of nerve endings in the anus, some say as many as the head of your penis. It's not about one spot, though the stimulation of the prostate can be exquisite if done properly. I think one problem is the rush to penetration. Try a "rosebud" massage with lots of oil. The masseur will concentrate on your rim, anus and use multiple techniques to increase your pleasure. Penetration is not necessary even with a finger though you may find that after 30 minutes of concentrated massage on your rim and anus that you will be begging for penetration.

[abidismaili]

There are a huge number of nerve endings in the anus, some say as many as the head of your penis. It's not about one spot, though the stimulation of the prostate can be exquisite if done properly. I think one problem is the rush to penetration. Try a "rosebud" massage with lots of oil. The masseur will concentrate on your rim, anus and use multiple techniques to increase your pleasure. Penetration is not necessary even with a finger though you may find that after 30 minutes of concentrated massage on your rim and anus that you will be begging for penetration.

 

Ok, so all men who dont like to bottom just had done it wrong to them? Their first tops did it wrong and so they got the idea it is not nice? You say if done properly everyone likes to bottom? (I mean who doesn't like pleasure, if it is so nice).

 

But if it takes a lot of preparation, who has the time or the desire to spend so much time? I like sex, but I dont spend 1 hour with a boy. In 45 minutes I am finished. If I give a blowjob, after 2 minutes it starts to bore me. So if you need 15 minutes foreplay to prepare an anus isnt that extremely boring for the top, to spend so much time in preparation? 

[Guest cdnmatt]

Can a bottom please explain here in all honesty what makes it nice for them? Is it the idea being dominated or is the fucking action really giving physical pleasure?

 

Ohhh, I can confirm, and although I don't understand it myself, I think they definitely get physical pleasure out of it.  This is why I'm about 98% confident Kim was cheating on me the last several months of our relationship.  Not that it was a big deal, because we both knew the relationship was in the toilet anyway, but nonetheless...

 

For the last several months, he all of a sudden had this insatiable urge to be fucked, which he never had before, so I'm assuming he got it from somewhere.  One of our things was giving each other massages, and even when simply giving him a massage he would reach behind, grab my dick, and try to make me fuck him.

 

Or when sitting on me jerking off, he would basically force me to fuck him, saying, "come on, fuck me and I will cum really quick", etc.  I don't understand it myself, but without question, he got pleasure from it.

[Guest abang1961]

I am,  more or less, versatile in bed.

I go get my fair share of fucking and being fucked, more of the former than the latter.

 

Actually I do enjoy bottoming for the right guy. The technique involved includes lot of lube and mental (not physical) preparation.  I must lust for that dick and for starters, I prefer to ride/sit into it.  Once the initial awkwardness is over, the initial pain is gone and the pleasure kicks in, I am in heaven.  

 

Remember it is just the size (length and/or girth that matters) but the skills. I like to take things slowly before he switches to 1st gear...now, where are the dicks?

[a447a]

I was top only all my life until I decided to become a bottom a few years ago.

 

And yes, it wasn't easy - I practised quite a bit with a dildo until I finally got used to the feeling of having something up there. After a couple of weeks I'd learnt how to relax and it began to slip in quite easily.

 

Now I alternate between top and bottom, depending on who I'm with. If the guy is versatile, then I'll top and bottom in one session.

 

As I like masculine guys, most of them are straight and top only. In the past that was a disappointment, as I wanted to fuck them but now, it doesn't matter. If he can't bottom, then I can.

 

These days no preparation is needed - I apply the lube and in he goes. Easy peasy.

 

And no pain. If the guy is really big, sometimes there is a bit of pain until he gets it all the way in but after that, no problem at all.

 

Before, I could have what I consider to be full on sex with only those guys who bottomed. Being versatile means I can now have fun with all the other guys. I no longer need to ask if he is top or bottom.

 

The reason why I love being fucked is because there is an incredible intimacy involved if your partner is physically inside you. Being fucked by someone you love must be awesome.

[abidismaili]

The reason why I love being fucked is because there is an incredible intimacy involved if your partner is physically inside you. Being fucked by someone you love must be awesome.

 

So it is the idea which makes it nice? The fucking itself does not trigger physical pleasure, but the idea it is something initmate makes it nice?

[a447a]

It's both. They work together. Just having a dildo shoved up the arse doesn't do anything - at least not for me.

[abidismaili]

It's both. They work together. Just having a dildo shoved up the arse doesn't do anything - at least not for me.

 

Then we the same. That is why I not understand what it is so nice in bottoming. So I think now what makes it nice is the idea. The idea being domininated (for some) or (for you) the idea of intimacy. The real pleasure is only for the top: his dick is physically stimulated which gives physical pleasure resulting in orgasm. The bottom's pleasure is only non-physical, an idea. That makes it more understandeble, because I failed to enjoy being bottom, couldn't feel any physical pleasure. I now start to think also bottoms dont feel it, they just enjoy the idea of being fucked which gives mental pleasure but not phsyical one

[vinapu]

 

.... who has the time or the desire to spend so much time? I like sex, but I dont spend 1 hour with a boy. In 45 minutes I am finished.

I assume we are all on vacation and have 24 hours a day to do what we want.

 

..you just like me , in 45 minutes I'm just finished undressing him

 

 

 

 

..now, where are the dicks?

Pattayaland soi3 , BoyzBoyzBoyz , wall to wall of them

[Shonen]

Hold on! I think many have given up too soon because of the pain.

 

I've been a top most of my life. The couple of times I've tried to bottom was nothing but pain. I couldn't understand what bottoms got out of it. But one night this guy from Gay Romeo( he's in Gernany now), insisted on topping me. The pain was bad and I tried to stop the whole thing but he pinned me down and I eventually gave in. After several minutes I was begging for more until he couldn't go on. It felt great but it was my last night in LOS. We were in missionary position and his dick was tight against his belly, so I'm assuming he was hitting my prostate gland, nothing to do with the outer ring. If we did it doggy style it wouldn't have worked as he wouldn't be massaging my prostate. Surely a bottom can confirm this. The g spot in men is the prostatectomy gland, that simple.

[a447a]

Abidismaili, there is definitely physical pleasure, too.

 

And there's also a third dimension - the sheer fun involved as the top tries to manoeuvre into different positions. Sometimes we both crack up laughing.

 

The top from Golden Cock I wrote about in my last trip report is a case in point. I had a great time as he tried to copy the fuck show guys he'd seen at Dreamboys. Also, he's really really loved to fuck and could go on forever. I liked the fact that he was having so much fun.

[forky123]

Ok, so all men who dont like to bottom just had done it wrong to them? Their first tops did it wrong and so they got the idea it is not nice? You say if done properly everyone likes to bottom? (I mean who doesn't like pleasure, if it is so nice).

 

But if it takes a lot of preparation, who has the time or the desire to spend so much time? I like sex, but I dont spend 1 hour with a boy. In 45 minutes I am finished. If I give a blowjob, after 2 minutes it starts to bore me. So if you need 15 minutes foreplay to prepare an anus isnt that extremely boring for the top, to spend so much time in preparation?

 

Of course there are still people who prefer to top. There are also people who prefer never to do anal sex. As with everything people still have personal preferences. My point was that most people who find it painful (not all) have not spent the time to try to not make it painful or the top they are with doesn't have the patience or skill. Your comments about becoming bored suggest sex is all about you and nothing for your partner. Anticipation heightens the experience. After 45 minutes I'm likely to be still in the foreplay. What's the rush?

[forky123]

Then we the same. That is why I not understand what it is so nice in bottoming. So I think now what makes it nice is the idea. The idea being domininated (for some) or (for you) the idea of intimacy. The real pleasure is only for the top: his dick is physically stimulated which gives physical pleasure resulting in orgasm. The bottom's pleasure is only non-physical, an idea. That makes it more understandeble, because I failed to enjoy being bottom, couldn't feel any physical pleasure. I now start to think also bottoms dont feel it, they just enjoy the idea of being fucked which gives mental pleasure but not phsyical one

Simply not true. Not only is there physical pleasure, who says the bottom can't be dominant?

[TMax]

I like the physical pleasure and the intimacy of having a hot Thai guy fuck me, although still very much versatile I love having the Thai boys top me and finding one that really knows his stuff is a real pleasure. Unfortunately I can't say when my next one will be as I'm about to have resection surgery on my prostate and that will mean at the very least 3 months but more likely closer to 6 months. There was even a time when kissing the boys wasn't a turn on for me but one very hot Thai twink in Phuket converted me and now I love it, once again I think it comes down to the intimacy of it all.

[Guest ronnie4you]

Guys, I went years thinking I was a top. Years! Sure, I had fun, but then I met the guy who would teach me the joys of bottoming. That's all I needed to discover a whole new side of me. Now, years later, the bigger,  the better. That's one reason why Brazil has also become a favorite destination. Those guys know how to fuck and have the goods to do it.

[ChristianPFC]

There are a huge number of nerve endings in the anus, some say as many as the head of your penis. It's not about one spot, though the stimulation of the prostate can be exquisite if done properly. I think one problem is the rush to penetration. Try a "rosebud" massage with lots of oil. The masseur will concentrate on your rim, anus and use multiple techniques to increase your pleasure. Penetration is not necessary even with a finger though you may find that after 30 minutes of concentrated massage on your rim and anus that you will be begging for penetration.

Did you get such a massage in Thailand? In all my time in Thailand, I have only met one masseur (Bank in Magic Hands 2) who has skills similar to those you describe.

[forky123]

Not met anyone in Thailand that does it, though I'm ever hopeful. I do a bit of amateur massage and frequently give and receive such massages. It's always amusing to give a total top a rosebud massage and have them squirming. Mixed with a lingam massage it can be quite an intense experience for them.

[Onlyserious]

I just want to give my opinion.

I'm a gay man of 57 years.

I have long been active only.

then suddenly I discovered the joys of being passive.

the joy of seeing your man who seeks his and your pleasure in anal intercourse ..... hot humid full of passion and love

[Onlyserious]

I shocked you? I speak of LOVE.What more beautiful of LOVE?