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04 January – 09 January 2014 Trip Report to Koh Samui Flew Bangkok Airways from CNG Chiang Mai to USM Koh Samui on the flight earlier than the one I had booked, because when I arrived at the airport they said, “the 12:50 flight is boarding now and there are some empty seats – you will need to hurry – but no meal for you as we already furnished the aircraft with all of the accounted for meals” – I said, yes, since it meant that I could get to Koh Samui by 14:35 instead of 15:40 – as they told me that flight would be late. So, I sacrificed a meal, even though I paid the expensive 7,290 bahts for the 1-way ticket to obtain the privilege to be on the beach before sunset. When the meals were being handed out I acted dumb when they tried to give me one, but they quickly returned to take it back and said, “Sir, you can’t have a meal” – all of the other passengers looked at me as if I was a convict – as they could not understand why the Bangkok Airways staff would say that to me. Prior to boarding I had purchased a modest sandwich and I was content to eat that. After flying for 1 hour 45 minutes, arriving to the Koh Samui International Airport is quite a pleasant surprise because the first impact is the beauty of the island, the fact that the airport is all outside – an open air bus (that looks like a ride from Disneyland) picks you up from the aircraft and transports you to the open air arrivals terminal. It reminded me of one of my trips to one of the Hawaiian Islands where it had a similar look – tropical paradise – the sun was bright and it was hot and humid – a big change from the climate of Chiang Mai which was cooler and much less humid. Took a taxi to the AKWA Guesthouse in South Chaweng Beach. I chose the AKWA because it is “gay-friendly” and I read that the Dutch owner, Martin is very friendly and the rates are reasonably priced – which is important considering that Koh Samui is oriented towards resorts and the more wealthy tourists. I was shown to my penthouse room up on the 3rd floor which had a nice view of the street in front of the guesthouse facing towards the Poppies Resort which is on the beach. The outdoor terrace is very big with 2 lounge chairs, 2 normal chairs, and a small table and the most interesting thing are the two small ‘Ganesh’ shrines on the terrace in the corner with some food offerings to the spirits to protect the guesthouse from harm. Obviously, I never disturbed these 2 important objects as I also wanted to be protected from harm as well. Unpacked my bags and headed out for the “gay beach”. Most of the guides indicate that it is in front of the Trade Winds hotel. I walked the entire length of the Chaweng beach area and never found it. I will have to investigate by asking around later at the bars. So, I made my own gay beach at the Billy SeaBeach and swam and then ate some food. Note that the service at this bar/café on the beach is extremely slow – food was good – but only go if you have time to waste. Back to guesthouse, relaxed, showered and headed out to the busy Chaweng Beach Road to check out good places to eat and to see where the gay places were. Unlike Chiang Mai, I was located much closer to the gay places which were 15 minutes away by foot. The trick to find the 4 or 5 gay places is to first find the Solo bar and/or Terminal restaurant on the main Chaweng Beach Road (opposite side from the famous ARK bar) and go down this soi towards the Chaweng Stadium where there is Muay Thai boxing. This soi is shaped like a horse-shoe (U-turn) and on the left side of the U-turn are the Pride Bar and G-Spot bars and then on the other side are the K-Club and Gay Point bars. I made the below map for all of you as it makes things much easier to find and understand. I discovered that there is so much competition between most of the gay venues in Koh Samui that this prevents a unified picture of what is going on as many of the businesses are NOT united towards a collective “gay marketing” approach to doing business and instead they are fragmented, which makes it hard for us tourists to understand what is going on. My first stop was at the Gay Point (166/25 Moo 2, Chaweng Road) on Saturday 04 January, and we were 5 farangs and there were 2 Thai customers. Then there were Jay (the fun manager) and the ladyboy bartender who kept serving up drinks to us all night long. For every drink that you ordered Jay or LB would accompany it with random shots. In the beginning things were quiet but after the booze was flowing and after a few shots, us farangs were then buying the other unknown guests rounds of shots. I spoke to a nice couple from Germany next to me and another farang from the USA. I am not much of a drinker, and after a couple of hours I had to leave as I could feel I was going to get sick from being super intoxicated. So, Gay Point is a fun place and it is thanks to Jay and LB for breaking the hard ice that us farangs sometimes create and then it was great. Well worth visiting. Sunday, 05 January I ate a great breakfast in the AKWA guesthouse down in the bar area – the breakfast is not included in the room rate – but that is ok with me because the breakfast is served all day and that is what I prefer instead of having a “free” breakfast where the hotel dictates to you when you need to eat it. AKWA has a large and complete breakfast menu and is similar to the wonderful “Butter is Better” place that I reviewed in my Chiang Mai trip report. Then I headed off to the beach looking again for the “gay beach”, in the area around the Trade Winds hotel, but no luck. From the prior night adventure many of the locals told me that Koh Samui does not have enough of an established local gay community to maintain a gay beach. In addition, since Koh Samui is oriented towards resorts and “people in love” and all of that romantic stuff – it does not attract much of a gay tourism and consequently it is a struggle for the island gay businesses to keep their doors open. In addition, it is hard for us tourists to meet the locals as most Thais are from elsewhere (Isaan) and unemployment is very low so everyone is busy working and even the gay venues have difficulties maintaining gay staff as they are often being stolen away by the other gay businesses who are competing for the same limited number of gay human resources. So, I created my own gay beach in front of the construction area (of the new OZ complex), as it is sandy and free of the resort chairs and I sometimes like to lay down on a towel directly on the beautiful sand and just tan, and swim. There was much eye candy around, but not many single guys as they were mostly hooked up in couples or groups. But the nature scenery is breathtaking with large coconut trees, white sand, and crystal clear blue water. Back to the guesthouse and then I went to search for the ThaiBoy Men Spa, (21/138 Moo 3 Bophut (Chaweng) Samui). It is not on the main Chaweng Beach road but more inland. The key to find it is to search for the Walking street and to walk to the end of it (it is short) and then you will be near the Petchbuncha Muay Thai boxing stadium. After the stadium is the Laem Din market and then more ahead on the same main road on the left you will see the CS Hotel and the ThaiBoy Men Spa. Perhaps 10 minutes from the main beach road by foot. I met Tom, the Swiss owner and right away we hit it off. He is great fun and a very informative guy. If you want to know all about the inner workings of the gay businesses on Koh Samui, he is the man to ask. I ordered a 90 minute Aloe Vera massage with Non (I would guess that he was about 27 years old) a nice gay guy who is a dancer at the Starz Cabaret place. He has very sexy muscular dancer legs and he gives a nice massage – although it is more on the sensual side instead of the harder stronger massages that I prefer. The “happy ending” was good and sensual like the massage. Showered and then Non had to run off to work as a Starz dancer. I then hung out with Tom and had a great long conversation about what is it like for an ex-pat from Switzerland to live on Koh Samui – he gave me the inside scoop on what it is like to live there, have romance, and to conduct gay business on the island. I paid 900 baht to the Spa for the massage and 1,500 to Non. Then I asked Tom if he could organize a full day tour of Samui for me on Tuesday 7 January. I believe that he quoted me 3,000 baht for the day plus incidentals. Being tired after the massage I only went out to eat and called it a night. Monday 6 January, again I searched for the “gay beach” and no luck again, so I walked down to the “Monkey Beach”, a place that I noticed and liked. They have excellent quick waiter service and great wi-fi. Also, it is near the OZ resort construction site where I liked swimming and taking in the sun. No gays in sight but some pockets of nice eye candy. After a day at the beach I searched for the Mekkala Men Spa, which is on the former, “Rainbow Avenue”, near the Trade Winds Hotel, just off the Chaweng Beach Road. I found out from the locals that the original plan for the “Rainbow Avenue” was to create a little gay mecca in Chaweng. Unfortunately, like in many gay places all over the world, this plan fell through some years ago and the other former bars that were located there closed and now only remains Mekkala – as almost all of the Samui gay nightlife has moved over to the 2 sois that are behind the Solo Bar and Starz Cabaret near the Chaweng Muay Thai boxing stadium. I sat with Ajay, the owner/manager and we decided on a 90 minutes cream massage, as I was somewhat sunburned. I chose, Q, a beautiful “straight” guy (perhaps 26 years old) who is from Isaan. The massage was very good and intense and just the way I like it. When we got to the end, Q asked me if I want the special and I said yes and he gave me a great blow job followed by a sensual hand job. Not bad for a guy who says he is straight. Showered afterwards and paid Ajay the 1,000 baht fee to the Spa and I gave Q 1,500 for a massage well done. Mekkala is a nice place but it is best if you reserve in advance if you want a greater selection of guys, as there is a shortage of massage workers on Samui and they are often pulled from one massage place to another. Back to the guest house for a shower and change of clothes and then walked over to the Terminal restaurant for an excellent surf&turf dinner (where I drooled at the Chef – he was a hot masculine Thai guy) and then headed over to the K-Club. Unlike the Gay Point bar, which is run by Jay and LB, K-Club must have had 6 young guys working as host bar boys. Right away, the most queeny youngest one latched onto me as there were only 3 customers in the bar. It is a very nice place and they also offer massage services (the business name for this other entity is “Together Massage”) upstairs and they have explicit menus on display that show menu items like, “cock massage”, “ball massage”, etc. I did not try any as I was already spent from my Mekkala massage from Q. So, I bought my queeny young host boy a drink and he tried to kiss me and all of that stuff and I tried to make him understand that he was not my type. Anyway, after he calmed down and realized that I was not going to kick him away, I decided to have an Anonone moment, (at this point there was only me and one other farang customer in K-Club who was busy most of the night deep kissing and dry-humping the sexy manager, Jessy) so I told all of the 5 other host boys who were not with the only one other customer that drinks were on me. As Anonone often wrote on this board, it truly livened things up and everyone was happy and dancing, and I was carrying on with all of the boys as around that time the Muay Thai boxing show had let out from the nearby Chaweng Stadium and we decided to entice the passing customers to come into the K-Club including some of the HOT Muay Thai boxers. It was a lot of fun – mostly the passing ladies would joke around with us – but when their men figured out what kind of bar we were they would freak out and quickly run away. Unfortunately, we did not get any of the Muay Thai boys into the bar – it is too close to the stadium where they fight and they have an image to maintain. After a few rounds of drinks – I called it a night and left alone. There was one guy I would have loved to have offed but I could not get rid of the queeny boy. Anyway, it was a great time and I recommend this bar – just be ready for intense pressure from the bar boys, especially if there are no customers around. In the end, they are just a bunch of fun young guys. Tuesday 07 January – the big day tour with Tom from ThaiBoy Men Spa. He picked me up around 10:30 in a white car (Nissan?) and we headed off for Lamai, which is the next beach south of Chaweng. We went to a high view point to appreciate the views of Chaweng from afar – it was beautiful. Then we drove to the south end of Lamai beach to the famous “Grandmother and Grandfather rocks”, which are similar to a vagina which occasionally becomes wet from the waves washing up and a penis. Took the required souvenir photos and then we were off to do one of the things that I did not get to do in Chiang Mai, which was to go on an Elephant Safari. So, the next stop was to the beautiful Namuang Jungle and Waterfall Park. After our adventure with Lala, and roughing it in the jungle, we walked over to the giant Namuang waterfall to take a swim. Of course I asked all of the stupid questions before jumping into the water – are there any snakes or crocodiles here? We survived and it was VERY refreshing after our safari adventure. Then we dried off and stopped for refreshments – 2 freshly cut and opened coconuts. Now that was nice. Back to the car and off to my favorite part of our adventure, a private deserted beach that is near the 5-Island Hotel resort in the Taling Ngam section of Koh Samui. We stopped the car just before arriving to the 5-Island Hotel resort and then back tracked on foot in the opposite direction through an abandoned wooden foot path where there were parts of it with overgrowth and we had to bush whack our way forward and parts of the footpath were falling down. Then we arrived underneath an old Chinese burial shrine and from there were steep steps down to the beautiful secluded beach, with little private coves. We did stumble across someone sleeping on one of the caves but we just continued forward to our own private cove and then got naked and swam. We were literally in front of the 5 Islands off in the distance in the open sea and it was breathtaking and it was great to be naked – as I know in the LOS it is prohibited to be naked. I am sorry that I cannot share any web links or other info to this secluded place – you will just need to contact Tom to find the secret way to get there. I don’t believe that I could find it again if I were not with Tom. After about 1 hour of swimming and soaking in the sun, we had to head back towards the car and we stopped at one of the beachfront stands and ate a great late lunch with a stunning view of the 5-Islands. So, not to be outdone, Tom drove around the rest of the Samui Island (we had done a full circle of the island) bringing me back to his ThaiBoy Men Spa, where he had arranged a 90 minute massage for me with Nam – a very sexy gay guy. It was a perfect ending to a perfect day and Tom is an excellent host and tour guide and I highly recommend if you go to Koh Samui that you visit to see him. Wednesday 08 January – during the previous day’s journey I had inadvertently put my smartphone in a bag of seawater. Don’t ask me how I had done such a stupid thing. So, I spent most of today going from one repair shop to another hoping to find someone who could perform a miracle on my phone. I was very upset as I lost many important messages and photos that were supposed to be included in my trip reports for Chiang Mai, and Koh Samui. Anyway, I wasted most of the day with this task and in the end my phone could not be saved. Sea water is the worst as it immediately corrodes the inside of the phone and causes an immediate short circuit as the salt water is full of ions that conduct electricity which short out all of the circuits. So, I decided to wait for my trip to Pattaya to buy a new smartphone at the famous Tuk.com mall (the one that is like MBK in BKK). For my last night in Koh Samui, I went to the Pride bar which is in the same soi as all of the other gay bars. It is very nice and on the elegant side. There were 2 people working the bar and 4 customers. Since it is not a host boy bar, it is not easy to meet other people. It is better if you are already with a group of people or if you want to meet a date there and chill out. So, with my backup emergency phone (very old) I cruised a guy from GR to meet me but he kept stopping in all of the other gay bars telling me he was there. I would always respond that I was in Pride and eventually I told him that I don’t like this game and if he wants to meet me he needed to walk the extra 100 meters to the gay bar where I was. He never came, so I paid the bill to leave and immediately at that moment, this guy arrived out of nowhere and ordered a shot of whiskey and said hello to me and I was polite and said hello to him and then he walked down the soi towards the Muay Thai boxing stadium. Then I left and I received another GR message saying – “where are you going? I just came into the Pride bar and took a shot of whiskey and said hello to you”. I just ignored his messages. I thought to myself – that was a very weird encounter and I did not get good vibes – so just went back to the guesthouse to pack and go to sleep. Thursday 09 January – checked out of the AKWA guesthouse and took a taxi to the exotic Koh Samui International airport and flew to Pattaya with Bangkok Airways departing at 11:10am and arriving at 12:25pm, costing 5,210 bahts – not bad considering what I paid to fly from Chiang Mai to Koh Samui. Would I go to Koh Samui again? Probably not – if I was single – as Koh Samui is more a romantic place and for gays does not offer too much for single guys. The night life is ok – but after Bangkok and Chiang Mai – it is a very small scene and it is extremely hard to meet gay Samui guys. In the entire 5 days I only met 3 – they were all straight. However, note that Koh Samui is one of the most beautiful places that I have ever been to – up there with Hawaii – a must do in the land of smiles at least one time. This concludes my Koh Samui trip report.