Riobard

Dear Oz and other admin: Somebody I know contacted me today and reported that he caught a reference about me that two GayGuides members wrote on a site named Company of Men. He sent me two screenshots appended below. Apparently this has now trickled over to our board here GayGuides. Evidently, a member being the same person on both boards, named Unicorn (possibly a physician?) and a member being the same person on both boards, named Marc in Calif, have asserted in writing that a 3rd party that posts in Company of Men and me are one and the same person. The kind person that just contacted me also added that, ironically, the reference to my posting at Gay Guides was contained within a topic about the ethics of outing gay men and their sexual behaviours. I believe that a fellow named José Sopulcsnos (I like pinga) is also implicated, and solacesoul though I do not read him lately. My friend alerted me about the latter (SS) and you can always track his recent content. I am not able to corroborate that Unicorn and Marc in Calif are, respectively, the same fellows on both boards. I HAVE noticed that one Marc in Calif was throwing shade on me so persistently on Gay Guides that I had to try to set limits by putting him on Ignore and calling him out. I don’t mind that things get troll-ish spicy and conflictual at times on social media but the stalking and doxxing takes it too far. I am not cross-affiliated there at Company of Men although I think that the two “alleged” culprits and some others at Gay Guides are members of both boards and are comfortable utilizing the same handles. I have not revealed my Gay Guides membership status or handle @Riobard anywhere anytime on a public domain accessible forum outside of the confines of the Gay Guides board. I have not identified my true name on any open board post. As you can determine from the images, the main one in question named the Gay Guides site and my Gay Guides pseudonym in the same sentence, and the other person seconded the reveal with the ‘me too’ confirmational emoticon? How dumb is that?! This is very disturbing, boldly and maliciously conflating a member at Company of Men, a supposedly anonymous and ‘safe space’ board, with my identity here at Gay Guides, a supposedly anonymous and ‘safe space’ board. Apart from the stalking and doxxing, I am not particularly concerned with the gossipy put-down, but I am worried about some related implications. Is my content and my association with sex trade going to be reported on another board from ours without my consent? If I directly approach the two or more men in question is that going to exacerbate things because they may become defensive or they may get a kick out of creating more drama? If they are reprimanded or banned by the Gay Guides moderator team will that similarly blow back on me? Should or can they be banned and blocked without a clear reason conveyed to them? Are readers over at Company of Men going to think that Gay Guides lacks the firewall of anonymity? After all, short of a member choosing to break his own anonymity, isn’t the only way to confirm a person being common to two sites the administrator’s possession of identifying data? Will readers make false assumptions based on the supposition of a direct link between me and some 3rd party member that from the over at Company of Men? I don’t see the handle but my friend contacting me today said the member there was sirbobby-something. Would the best solution for me be to stop posting on Gay Guides? What was the point of the breach other than for ostentatious shits and giggles? The list of questions goes on. To boot the posts are in a public forum that thousands of readers access. The two culprits are naming a Company of Member as being the same person as @Riobard (me). For all I know that individual does not post material that identifies himself as a transactional sex tourist abroad in the same way that I do in Gay Guides. Again, two people where neither referenced the other’s affiliation in social media fora elsewhere. Should the member at Company of Men be alerted I wonder? I am more concerned for him because his reputation may be more vulnerable, whereas I expect anonymity in principle but may be comparatively immune to major damage. It’s not up to another posting member to bully another member with unsubstantiated assumptions of who they actually are. The governance is one of reciprocal regard for privacy.

Hmmm . Must be a robust trust fund in the mix here, inn’t. At 50 I was working all day for a living. Not the 5 AM club that a wannabe braggadocio elitist on our forum once described, but my schedule considerably taken up by clinical, research, and academic assignments, not the least of which related to developing finesse in terms of handling narcissists. One decent achievement being the dismissal of a narcissist ranked hierarchically greater than me in an inter-professional system. Humpty’s narcissism set himself up for a great fall. One thing central to my role was the timeless question about the peculiar ways in which people may misdirect energy, including the machinations of narcissists and other characterologically flawed souls. With some 55 weekly hours freed up, along with financial independence, now a bit more luxury in terms of pondering such life questions. Apparently even the most steadfast of narcissists eventually burn themselves out, a fairly good outcome for the narcissist as well as those in the line of fire of such narcissism. One can facilitate this process by appealing to, that is, inadvertently triggering their intrinsic narcissism. Or maybe prayer, if you’re into that kind of thing? The particular paradoxical bind for the narcissist, once narcissism has been irreversibly established, is that both a lull in narcissistic expressivity and, in contrast, an inflated degree of pomposity continually expressed, represent the central organizing core of narcissism. Sort of damned if he does or doesn’t. There is little that can disabuse one of the impression that the narcissism was an indelible signature feature. In some ways, the topic heading ‘I Hate You All’ unintentionally thematically dovetails with the narcissist’s dynamics, though the OP Blk Supe is clearly the polar opposite of a narcissist and I will happily read his content any old time. I write all this while munching on a tasty crunchy cucumber optimally cooled.

Going through my files of a few weeks ago. Dude from garotocomlocal. Short on reviews. Well, I asked didn’t I? And he answered. His ‘zap photo not nearly standing up to his ad. Maybe Gramma ruptured the old spleen again riding her motorcycle. Or I mistakenly sent him a photo riding my private helicopter. LOL. Or I’m just culturally tone deaf. Or one is paying for an assumption that he shows up on time. Or the other 600 ads aren’t real. Or … who cares what’s the diff?

I am obviously, for the record, now dismissive of resident narcissists and learned to ignore the tiresome clownish fake news cycles put forward by the court narcissist, but I understand that upwards of 50% among the innocent naïve will cast for a narcissist. All I get is a notification of what I presume to be a disjointed ‘tweet’. But the evidence seems solid that there must be thousands upon thousands of folks willing to feed and egg on any particular narcissist desiring the role of grand poobah narcissist. So far, I don’t seem to be ducking any eggs by casting a contrarian vote against a narcissist. What is satisfying, though, is to have a quasi-real-life narcissist to contend with, enabling a channeling of all the built-up energy that arises from observing a range of figurehead narcissists that would make the world a better place by crawling back to the origins of their central mantra, that being “the sun rises and sets in my pocket”, and giving us a well-deserved break.

This is no different from the info posted here some 15 weeks ago, directly sourced from government public information releases and I believe it may have been a stand-alone forum topic There may have been a slim chance of amendment based on negotiation but looks like none of the four nations will budge.

Probably. I suggest following the ‘usual suspect’ social media feeds, or the guys often post an event on their personal profiles. I think Hot House has been renovating without too much disruption. I did not get to the club last month. Perhaps the final product will be done by Pride. Enjoy. Try not to get trampled … I am referring to stripper fan base, not the parade.😉 In April a dancer that has been more on the international circuit offered to come over to my apto for BRL700. I might have sprung for it but there were other very good options; not necessarily about the money, the differential is not so vast even if his dancing were to have exceeded his other talents. I wouldn’t blink about dishing that out at a northern strip club let alone the privacy of my own bed. I did wonder, though, how many times the concierge would sign “thumbs up” when I paraded one young ‘gym friend’ after another through the walk of unabashed. He couldn’t have predicted getting the gratuity I provided upon my departure. A keeper.

Cast about half and half Yank & Canuck, I think. But I’d go for Brit Hunnam.

Right, “othering” is a sad and disturbing trend seen everywhere and your parallel is on the money.

Mauritania is another example. Shira Law (sp?). Death penalty on the books, not applied since mid-1980s). This decade a group of men getting harmlessly a bit tipsy at a party and arrested and jailed because they were perceived as behaving as though they were imitating female characteristics. But look at the Uganda legislation details. There is a lack of logic in certain components, and I’m not referring to the batshit crazy ideology related to homosexuality. The published discussions about how to detail the legal applications are also gong-show grade even outside of the homonegativity value system. Let’s say for the sake of argument that the law was about spitting saliva in a public place, a simple rule about comportment. There are peculiarities in how the law is applied. For example, if two adults (18-74) agreed that innocuous spitting was fine in each others presence they are both indictable. If one is a consenting age 75+ and the other younger (18+), let’s say 72, then the younger is exclusively liable and the older person obviously in mutual agreement with the harmless release of saliva into the gully is exempt and considered as victimized in the act. So one day arbitrarily subject to execution, the next day apparent impunity. What a fiasco in terms of basic conceptual logic, though unsurprising parallels to flimsy underpinnings of draconian sexual diversity censorship. Stupid is as stupid does. The legislation is akin to a war crime. Let the sanctions roll, I would say, but one worry is that the hard won western sourced cross-pollination of HIV-related support and management might be set back. Since HIV is also central to the new legislation, cutting off Uganda based on rights violation principles might inadvertently exacerbate key elements of the health agenda. Tricky.

Word. Thank goodness there are prolific contributors like you that report travel experiences as things that occur due to simple openness to what comes. You can write an interesting and entertaining piece and still walk through an entrance without getting a swollen head stuck. (Yeah I just realized … teehee.) There’s no emoji for “this guy’s a safe space and I would give him the time of day” but I would plunk it here as well as for the aforementioned superhero. I noticed that perhaps you didn’t fully grasp an earlier post. It was intentionally aimed at a menace that definitely did get it. It would have required a being-there component and some historical tracking of forum content; otherwise might come across as serving Twilight Zone-level narrative. I don’t need to pull anybody in to the specifics, and my personal life resources competently cover off processing, but open to inquiries via DM. The guiding principle would be that some truths are stranger than fiction and there’s a lesson in it. As a fellow person from outside the national majority you might get a kick out of it. I’m open to Friendlies regarding sharing experiences; Belligerents unwelcome.

Popular travel forums are basically social media extensions of travel guides. Both are generally geared to Coles Notes reductive summaries of the draw of a destination and key features that the average affluent visitor would appreciate. So what? Perhaps the majority of travellers that don’t live up to your expectations make visiting sustainable for everybody. Look at tourism contribution to GDP and perhaps you will notice that countries aiming to thrive are the ones orchestrating the content of go-to sources of travel information. The way that material is constructed and accessed, how travellers trying to get a break from busy lives are oriented and steered, may be what is deficient, as opposed to the assumed inferiority you have a hair-trigger tendency to wag a finger at. What else are you going to perceive if you position yourself as more skilled, adventurous, and appreciative regarding travel yet buy up the library of materials that you interpret as underscoring that you travel the most competently? If all you witness during a trip is evidence that you are the better visitor for a location, where are you hanging out? Why are you journaling the proliferation of trendy eateries and counting up the quantity of ride platforms uses taken up by visitors? If you’re not yourself at a Sandals after wheels down but you are the culture vulture transcending how others enjoy a trip how would you be seeing the manifestations of the very short-sighted approaches to travel you criticize. Where prepotency applies here is the pressing need to cast oneself as “better than” and viewing self in relation to “other”. Give it a rest. Goes for joiner cronies too. I have often stayed with local families in Brazil. I also crash at Renaissance at times. This simply makes me a traveler of a generation not the traveller of a generation. I would that the snobbery regarding travel playbook expertise here be toned down. This topic was initiated by a board member in the interests of sharing what you would never find in conventional travel guidance. And geared to an audience whose travel agenda is very specific and subject to stigmatization based on enduring a neo-conservative societal context. I frankly don’t understand how it got flipped into a tirade launched by self-congratulatory know-it-alls. However, I’m happy to jump in where pathological splitting was unnecessarily launched. In contrast to hijacking my mentor’s thread, who was to stop them from entering a new topic titled Make Aggrandizing Great as Always, or How I Look Down My Nose at My Fellow Overprivileged Peers. Cue the lazy silly downvote, way past its shelf life merit.

Speaking of deplorable I’ve been getting these grey background ignorable prompts almost each time I post. Wonder what that’s about? Oh well, out of sight the out of their mind annihilation fantasies, out of earshot the tantrum-y foot-stamping. Wonder who’s drinking that Kool-aid. Too bad about the waste of space, that narrow band taking up my screen &c.

If I have this right, somebody referenced you as deplorable, that somebody known for regularity narcissistically putting himself on a pedestal. I wouldn’t have considered that to be respectful. Sure, sometimes good decisions are made in the context of values-based disagreement, but that was not my read. The correct interpretation is an annihilation fantasy on the part of another member attempting to make himself feel better about being hemmed in regarding his own sexual interaction options. These useless troll types will skulk around attempting to hoover up your confidence and self-esteem. This person also wrote having claimed to be in the same room as another member, not having ever been introduced in person, appraising that member as being a pathetic nobody not worth one iota of attention or positive regard. This sad sack fellow who identifies as hailing from America, is a desperate yet smooth operating (to those that may require a bit of exposure to see through the crap) fabricator reaching for attention. See what I mean about castigating and maligning others essentially seeking the same thing? Backed into a corner, when gently questioned about the veracity of background, a narcissist may spontaneously claim status as a Harvard doctorate biological weaponry expert, as you decide about drinking the latte recently served before you. Alternatively, a miscreant narcissist may put forward the bald-faced lie of seeing (read that as stalking) in a common venue and appraising your moves, as mentioned above, in order to seek the upper limp-wristed hand in a spicy media exchange. There isn’t one single medical student seminar among countless I ran in which that person would not be conceptualized as grandiose and, more than likely, sociopathic. He isn’t the only one I’ve interacted with here that pursues social capital through outright mendacity regarding status, at the expense of others. As suggested above by real life examples, the similar bolt of cloth these idiots are cut from is clearly damaged. I also note that this person tends to open some passages by addressing selected other members with the qualifier that he does not typically see eye to eye with them, but exceptionality may apply in certain cases. This is nothing more than self-aggrandizing code for the assertion that his views are superior. It is a classic opener manifesting narcissism and if others don’t get it, I do. He will deign at times to give props, the context being that occasional regard for others is based solely on happenstance alignment with his perspective. He has described a close circle of similarly bitchy friends, and has sneered at the idea of forum members reaching out among their peers to socialize. The astute reader will also notice that a narcissist will tend to springboard off another’s opinion and inflate the negativity of the view contained therein, as has happened here and previously. He needs to hide behind the initiatory move of another poster, in this case, a member’s comment clearly aimed at critique of your LRD playbook and then riffing off of that far more judgementally with his inevitable superior posturing. This creates the illusion of substance in viewpoint and the apparent wannabe Santo Domingo cultural aficionado gets dragged down into the muck in relation to an alliance that Ms Southern Belle full-of-herself sucked him in to. Only a naïve person would buy that a narcissist is capable of true sympatico. You won’t see a narcissist step up and present his values as a separate written piece unless he has minimally one other to count on for alliance. Collateral damage is a bonus for him. So then, the default was calling out two of your countrymen, I perceived as hyperventilating about your approach to consensual fun, with one stone. As myself a recipient of criticism sourced from a jackass that thinks he’s better than me, my tendency is not to support the delusion of dominance, of ascendency, myopically held by another. It’s a dual disservice. I think it’s great to be thick/skinned, give the benefit of the doubt regarding motive, but there are lines crossed within social media that shouldn’t be. I won’t be labelled by a narcissist. He can fcuk off. It’s not hard, and can be edifying, to go toe-to-toe with a characterologically pathological jackass. It certainly doesn’t represent taking his content seriously and there would be no likelihood of a course correction. At 50-ish, it has been locked in and will simply bloat out to a caricature of itself. You are right, drill down for positive essence and don’t push for control that isn’t accessible. Again, I cannot sign off without emphasizing admiration for your perspective and your amazing forbearance and skill in terms of the curves life throws at you. You can also clearly take care of yourself. We all got to say our piece and we all have the prerogative to value others’ content as we see fit. Blessings.

I might be inclined to say, @BlkSuperman, that it’s sad that such a discussion was ever needed here, that any uppity narcissistic fuckwad here spewing shade on a genuinely sweet fellow like you put you in a position where you might feel you had to justify yourself. But, man, your posts are so uplifting and affirmative! Such a breath of fresh air, particularly needed as the tiresome handful of directionless trolls skulking about on the board rarely volitionally go out to pasture, far too occupied turning their life over to tracking you along with pathetic claims of proximity. Poor souls might try on some of your positivity and give their fingers a rest. LOL

This is very useful intel, @BlkSuperman. If seems that if snooty censors originally from somewhere up the eastern seaboard highway from you had their way we would be bereft interesting and entertaining content. I don’t know anybody that’s interested in a rendition of sex tourism that is intentionally submitted to suggest marked contrast to your particular style, is flaccidizing to boot, but where the meta message is one of superior posturing. I, for one, am glad to know you have a deft and playful fly-swatter approach to what amounts to targeted bullying. I thank my lucky stars I don’t have to rub shoulders with these self-appointed finger-wagging stale elitist sideshow goofs, I expect as laughable in person as on the page. They wouldn’t recognize the meaning of independencia on any day if it were a deuce pushed out onto their smug faces. As you may surmise I feel somewhat passionately about your guiding principles and resent bitchy attempts to rain on that parade. Is it just me or am I missing any erotically themed post content from these haters? Have I missed a brief few seconds where fingers weren’t lodged up those asses? LOL Cue the trolls all over this like a chika rash although it’s you I’m addressing.

I admire the persistence regarding those points. My plan is a fiasco and cannot seem to competently register earned points. After several appeal attempts, failure to grant points on one leg of a long return flight this year. And I keep getting review requests. It took several years to find a flight within its system that could be paid with a very substantial points accumulation. Frankly, at the end of the day I just find it easier to pay with money. I would happily accept discounts at a very small fraction of what points may be theoretically worth.

I never got to ‘Hotch’ House, as they say in PapoMix, during my April visit. They are good at posting the lineup but none moved me. At a certain point after visiting for years one sometimes just gravitates to a cadre of tried and true entertainers on one’s so-called roster rather than the laborious intensity of new negosh. If you are lucky and work at it you can land release repeat with guys that look better and gyrate well enough in small spaces, like your bed, to get your blood racing. One strapping guy I first met at one of the massage spas still makes my knees buckle when he steps out of the Über with his high wattage smile advancing to the gate, or Renaissance lobby when I’m slumming there. Maybe he can’t dance for shit; who knows? He needn’t care, inn’t? (He’s not the painfully cute one cross-affiliated with the sauna venues I mentioned elsewhere.)

Sunday night in Quebec and a Succession finale party trailing today’s succession of silly tantrum-y censorship and strange bedfellow board alliances. Who doesn’t agree art imitates life? American writers’ action has dried up content in more ways than one. Give them their just desserts.

Perhaps you could provide a link to your reading glasses brand. It might tone down some of the incessant whining about reading comprehension. Attention span? A different matter altogether. Making somebody grow out of infantile narcissism? Good luck. “I wanna know what the words said and I wanna know it now, wah wah wah, or you’ll see a bigly bigly ugly tantrum and be so so so sorry, wah wah wah. It’s all about me me me and don’t forget it.” Did I say ugly? Yes I did didn’t I? Whole lotta ugly. My prescription magnifiers are clear.

No experience requesting unprotected receptive anal intercourse, particularly from an escort making a living accommodating preferences, because the performative labour is dissociative. In other words, the dynamic is unique within commercial sex work and the imperative of earning may transcend his boundaries. If there were to be agreement … and there shouldn’t be agreement if actually based on common-sense mutual regard for integrity of medical health … I would want to know why. The agreement to ride you bare would also suggest a higher risk of active sexually transmitted infection based on historically loosened prophylaxis standards, for him, for you, and the next guy up in your hole. So, censorship does have its place, yessiree Bob Tom Dick Harry whoever the guide. Leave them and yourself in no worse shape than began. I might add that who is seen 4th of July is in full view 365&1/4. Unmissable anywhere, anytime.

Orwell might agree that pejorative words employed by acting out narcissists posing as amateurish diagnosticians aiming to impress, terms such as “neuro-divergent”, when read by somebody having completed a one-year clinical rotation in the Autism Spectrum domain, albeit with much eye-rolling at the temerity of such a feeble burn attempt, would prompt the educated reader to stand by the ideology that some are indeed more equal than others. I cannot recall the many other examples that put me to snoozing but there a few terms I fail to grasp, so my only complaint is the call to endure the annoying grandiosity of another sex tourist. One doesn’t need a glossary to comprehend the grandstanding centrality of an insufferable troll. There is hope for Aspergers et al. In contrast, Tourettes-grade incessant dogged entry of mindnumbingly boring quips as if This American Life for some exists exclusively here since 1984? Sad, but palliative. Narcissism? Not much potential for changing spots on that farm animal. Just another Orwellian paradox. Shit out; shit out. I realize this is all veering towards the Sandbox. This is what absurd censoring of the OP came to.

Love that, Blk Supe. You do you. Never followed JS’s broadcasts. Non-American, too busy working, earning, and additionally pro bono mentoring of developing world context medical science research projects to further grease the wheels of opportunity (I’m not beyond self-serving), hit the renewal mark for faculty status, and give a little back viz my own unmerited privilege, etc. Perhaps Springer might also have added something like: there are always judge-y prissies out there whose panties you don’t need to go near to get into a knot. If not, I’m happy to declare it. Never a lack of pissant-leaning bossy-pants attempting to pull your autonomy out from under you. Although I think it’s episodic, a few snooty 🍎 🍏, and so far doesn’t seem to have poisoned the wellspring of the Thai branch. Thus far, nobody there has declared the need for sex tourism because non-transactional partners can but fall hopelessly head over heels obsessively in love with them. Who needs that pill of a poster? No fellow punters I’ve laid eyes on in my travel environments would come remotely close to that claim. AFAIK 5 AM Club joiners just crap at different times and surround themselves with reciprocal ass-kissers, all good for diurnal equalization of sewage flow. How some clowns desperately reach for flimsy substantiation that buttresses their sad grandiosity is beyond the pale. Sheesh. LOL. Good thing you can see a one 10 kilometres away, expending a bit of energy for content in context, if you’ve read the forum for a while. Reminds one of the always essential chapter within the “difficult patient” syllabus.

Some attempt to live vicariously thru this option, others find it too painful to know. FullSizeRender.MOV

Right, “rotate through boyfriends”. Not a sex tourist. A weak link requiring attention. Your squeezes self-sufficient financially. So why are you writing in a thread thematically related to punting? Blathering on about your superiority relative to a fellow countryman that simply engages in consensual activity and embellishes accounts for effect. My points stand. Go tell your narrative on a mountain. Trap door for pomposity, here goes. Enjoy it down there with the other nauseatingly self-aggrandizing tool, the fake news sociopath off his trolley purporting to have once made an in-person impression about my physicality and bearing; you’ll find him in the bin marked “barista posing as a physician, lawyer, biological terrorism consultant all wrapped up in one neat package + other strange phonies on a gay message board angling for status”. You’ll notice all fraternity shit stinks the same down there. Let others live in peace. You are seen. Leave it at that.

I’m out, almost right after my irate and amused post. I don’t read drivel. The OP can take it from here.