So i called up Wells Fargo and was like "Umm, it's been 10 days, where is my debit card?"
Then they said they'd cancel the debit card they sent out and would send a new one via "two business day expedited shipping."
Not sure why it wasn't sent out that way in the first place or whenever it will get here.
I'm gonna have to become a boytoy soon just to pay for meals.