thaiophilus

You could take the "sprinter" train all the way to Ubon Ratchathani and make that your base for exploring eastern Isaan. Soutbound, take a train to Phetchaburi for a few days. There are temples and caves (surprise!) and a hilltop palace/observatory. The Mae Hong Son loop from Chiang Mai is worth doing, too. Public transport is probably not adequate so you will need wheels of some description (I did it in a hire car.)

Going with an airline that has lots of flights also helps in case an aircraft is grounded for technical issues. If they only run a few flights a week they are unlikely to have a spare aircraft at the departure airport, nor the spare capacity to carry you on another flight. If they have several flights a day there's a better chance that they can find either replacement aircraft or seats on another flight.

I second the recommendations for Blue Elephant (the Bangkok one) Baan Chiang (on Th. Sri Wiang near BTS Surasak) is another restaurant similar to Mango Tree. I haven't been there for a while but it used to be pretty good.

The nearest I've been to having anything checked was when checking in, the airline staff noticed that the dates of my arrival and departure flights were more than 30 days apart but I had no visa. I explained that I was planning to visit a neighbouring country (using a different airline) so I would be making two visits of less than 30 days. They took my word without proof and that was the end of the matter.

What you want and what they will do are not always the same thing. It's a race with only one winner. As soon as he has won, they can all go back to their phones 🙄

For boy bars there's nothing much outside of Bangkok and Pattaya, but there are of course the apps. For more touristy hotels/restaurants/things to do, you could try, in no particular order: (caveat: I don't know what's open or closed at present, so the following is based on my pre-2020 experience. Check before travelling.) Chiang Rai. Small town, a few things to see, plenty of restaurants. (Has one boy bar, in principle. Whether it has any boys to your taste is another matter ) Phetchaburi. Another small town. take the train from Thonburi to Kanchanaburi (River Kwai) and stay for a few days: it's a touristy town with plenty of restaurants and tours available. Sukhotai, if you like ruins. (Also Ayutthaya but that's only a day trip from Bangkok.) Khao Yai National Park (small national park but only a 3 hour bus journey from Bangkok), stay 2 nights, do "day" and "night" jungle tours. Khao Sok NP (much bigger; fly to Surat Thani then minibus to Khao Sok), stay a few nights and book some excursions via your hotel. there are lots of other national parks but the above are the most easily accessible.

In Nice Boys you can sponsor a chuck-wow contest with 300B. Put the money in one of the pots they use for the check-bin, bang it on the table and (some of) the boys will race to be first to cum and take the prize money.

Bell and Roong Reuang are the same company. The main difference is that the Bell service (equally professional but about twice the price) takes you right to your hotel, which is better than RR if your destination is in central Pattaya rather than Jomtien. Being dropped somewhere on Sukhumvit (especially at night) can be a bit disconcerting if you haven't visited Pattaya before.

The Bell bus runs every 2 hours 0800-1800 and has minibus transfer between the Pattaya bus station and your hotel. TIcket sales are only by online pre-booking (or at their Pattaya office but not at the airport - they have no office there, just someone with a clipboard!)

For another relaxing day excursion, how about Bang Krachao/Phra Padaeng. Taxi from Khlong Toei MRT to Wat Klong Toey Nok, or from Bang Na to Wat Bang Na Nok, from either place take the ferry across the river, hire a bicycle and spend a few hours in the jungle. Or stay overnight among the trees at the Bangkok Tree House - somewhere a bit different for a night out of the city (and somewhere to impress a friend if you take one 😉)

... (except for the Mae Khlong line which departs from Wongwian Yai station, and the Kanchanaburi line from Thonburi station, of course.)

(usual disclaimer; in "normal" times these were all straightforward but I don't know about the present, so check before travelling.) Khao Yai: From Bangkok it's the most accessible national park - 3 hours or so by bus, minibus or train to Pak Chong. Hotels provide guided jungle tours and transfers from the bus/train station. The usual deal is a 2-night stay: arrive afternoon, take afternoon/evening tour including millions of bats leaving their cave at dusk. The following day take an all-day tour. There are longer options including overnight camping. See for example Bobbys Jungle Tours.

I too visited the museum not long after it opened and had a personal guided tour conducted by "Sucky" Kriengsak, a former colleague of "Cowboy" Edwards (yes, that Cowboy, as in "Soi Cowboy".) Most enjoyable.

... but without the Irish charm?

Yes. Like you I think I have a better understanding of the probabilities than when I first visited in the 1990s, but there is still a slight possibility of having an ill-chosen visitor. We all three (hotel, me, visitor) know perfectly well why the visitor is visiting, but since in Thai culture actually mentioning it would cause loss of face to all of us, that won't happen. SInce having the hotel check ID might prevent some unpleasantness (even if it's unlikely), and there is no downside, I think it's a good thing.

That wasn't there when I last went to Nonthaburi! Thanks for the tip. Not strictly "skytrain", that would be the BTS. Actually it's the new MRT Purple Line which runs to the Bang Sue district and connects with the underground Blue Line at Tao Poon - very close to the Joncharoen swimming pool someone mentioned recently!

Take the Chao Phraya Express (ordinary orange flag, not the tourist boat) from Sathorn (Saphan Taksin BTS) to the end of the line at Nonthaburi, enjoy the scenery on the way, lunch in a riverside restaurant, return. (caveat: I don't know if the tourist-oriented restaurants are currently open but it's a big non-touristy town so you won't starve.) Cost: 2x15B plus whatever you spend on lunch.

They have other failure modes, too. I had a key in my wallet which made a tiny nick in the edge of a Malaysian polymer note, and that was enough to start a tear. Suddenly I had two half-notes. Fortunately the 7-11 had some tape...

Looks OK from here: http://www.thaimassageboy.com/homepage/

Transliterate it any way you like, Google Maps says it's in Bang Sue district, at 666 ถนน ประชาราษฎร์ สาย 2 แขวง บางซื่อ เขตบางซื่อ กรุงเทพมหานคร 10800 (666 Pracha Rat Sai 2 Rd, Bang Sue, Bangkok 10800) And here's the entrance, via a car park and a handy chicken biryani shop

That picture is misleading - the "new route" in red is the polar route via Alaska, not the "south of Russia" one described above. It's there to link to the discussion of how ETOPS relates to the long Atlantic segment. (For the geographically challenged, the white route runs roughly west-east 🙃)

Ban (บ้าน) and bang (บาง) are distinct words in Thai: different tone, different final consonant. Ban means house or village; bang is a waterway or a locality along a waterway. As you might expect, the one in Bangkok (บางกอก) is the latter and still exists in the names of the districts Bangkok Yai and Bangkok Noi in Thonburi.

Scowling may also sometimes indicate a trip to the optician...

Such things have a long history under the name of "poses plastiques". Once popular as Lady Hamilton's "Attitudes", they were nearly the downfall of the Earl of Euston in the Cleveland Street Scandal.

The one advantage the gogo bars still have over the apps is that you can examine the goods before committing yourself and see the real thing, not an outdated photo of somebody else. Of course if they parade fully clothed it's less appealing. In the Good Old Days it wasn't so much the gogo dancing that appealed to me, nor even the shows, so much as the whole atmosphere of the bars, with the boys spontaneously interacting with each other as well as the punters.