Londoner

I've always been too shy to chase. On my first visit nearly thirty years ago, I required my object of desire to make the first, second and third move. And to be blunt, I don't think I've changed. I envy those who are braver than me and more resilient when it comes to set-backs.

I am with you, TotallyOz. These partnerships aren't easy for either party and among all their problems one, though not the most significant, is the cynicism they sometimes encourage. On both parties, I hasten to add. P and I celebrated our twentieth anniversary in January of this year.There have been bad moments, I confess; times when I doubted him and occasions when he, I know, was disappointed with me. But it has worked for both of us, if in totally different ways. I hope it continues for you, too. I wouldn't presume to offer advice but I do urge patience and realistic expectations., for you both.

It may be because I've just returned from Thailand and am, bluntly, fed-up....that I can sympathise with visitors who have disappointments there; we all do, whether it be an unsuccessful "off" or, in my case, a poor meal. Very few of those, by the way! However, for someone contemplating a grey, chilly day in London, thousands of miles away from his loved-one I must encourage adopting the Buddhist principle of (as P tells me, ad nauseam) "thinking good." It is true that, the older I get, the harder it is to look on the bright side but, for heaven's sake, the vast majority of guys on the scene whom we meet are friendly, reasonable in their demands. And fun. That was my experience, anyway. For me, just to wander through the JC before bedtime (embarrassingly early in my case) enjoying the cheerful smiles, the enticing offers- cheerful and not persistent when refused- and the sheer joyfulness (at their best) of the guys is something I treasure. And even more so in retrospect. I just like being smiled at! Is there anywhere else in the world where such pleasures are available so cheaply and so safely? and when the assignation isn't so good, it is so easy to say, "Mai pen rai; tomorrow's will be better". And it will be.

My departure from BKK on Wednesday was pain-free (at least in terms of the immigration process!), and quicker than usual. I wasn't prepared for the changes but the system worked for me. I was in the priority queue...I don't know whether this helped.

The booking sites are bizarre when it comes to The Agate, demanding prices 200% above what we paid. Email the hotel directly.* It is true that there are many Russian guests; pre-covid, it was Chinese groups that were predominant, now it's Russian families escaping the cruel winter they suffer. *Suraksa.p@theagatepattaya.com The management is efficient; you'll get a speedy response.

Our holiday is over and we return to our homes tomorrow. We've been discussing our impressions of the JC, the changes, the good and less good, and comparing what we found this time with the nine or ten previous stays. Firstly, the bar scene. Our knowledge is very limited because we usually have a walk through the soi quite early....20.00 to 21.00. We are therefore merely visitors. There have been occasions when there has been a vibrant atmosphere with many cheerful (and attractive) guys greeting us and inviting us to come in for a drink. And on others, with few punters and many guys, the atmosphere has been less pleasing. Guys transfixed to their phones, sometimes rather forlornly due to the small number of punters. They deserve better; I hope that, on our next visit in March, the good nights will outnumber the bad ones. But there was one impression at which we arrived independently; there were noticeably more visible falang/Thai partnerships, both around the Complex and in the beach area. I don't refer to self-evident LTRs like ours, but older falang visitors accompanied by younger guys. I can't recall seeing so many before and have no explanation why this is the case. Another positive is the evening scene on the beachfront. Families and holiday makers enjoying the cool of the evening with some good restaurants available and many food stalls for those wanting a cheaper option, including one offering fried insects, which only one of us bought. We enjoy watching the dance/ exercise groups even if their members are overwhelmingly female! Loy Kratong was , once again, a delight. It was the second time we'd enjoyed it at Jomtien. Much more relaxed and family-orientated than Songkran. Another word of praise for the Agate Hotel. I suspect that it had more gay guests this time which was pleasing. Such friendly staff; so close to the action and yet so quiet. Needless to say, we are looking forward to our return.

They frequently find us hilarious but, I'm told, usually "jai-dee", that is "kind-hearted". Asians are considered more generous (or wealthy) than the rest of us. Of course, they don't have to spend so much money getting here.

A huge change since our last visit three months ago. We walked through the bar area at about 2000 (yes, I know that's early) and were amazed at the number of guys eagerly awaiting the attention of punters. And there were certainly more falang visitors than last time....the bingo bar was packed. Dick's and Sandbar, our two Jomtien favourites, have been busy since we arrived last week. This morning we walked the beach through the gay area; many bathers and beach-lovers as well as people merely strolling, like us. In fact, I don't remember seeing this number of people there for ten years at least. We also walked past Boyztown a couple of nights ago, again rather early, and it seemed to be almost deserted. Perhaps the crowds came later.

It didn't help that Biden was embarrassingly timid in dealing with the deranged and psychopathic Netanyahu. The genocide and US support for it may not have been decisive but the world's super-power being treated with such contempt by a country that it has funded, excused and cossetted for decades was not a good look.

Recommended for enlarged prostate sufferers.

Turkeys voting for an early Christmas.

If you're a newbie you should be aware that Thai attitudes to nudity are, on the whole, very different to those in the west or even other Asian countries. Thai guys at saunas take their towels off only for showers and in the privacy of a cubicle, though I recall occasionally meeting some naked guys in the (very) dark rooms at Babylon. (Happy times!) I've seen falangs walk around Babylon naked but very rarely. Somehow, it looks "wrong" because I know it offends Thai cultural beliefs. Don't be misled by the apparent freedom of the Bangkok sex-show. Even the most experienced mb will probably undress in your room with a towel around his waist. Of course, it will be removed for the fun but there is usually a shyness which demands modesty until the right moment arrives.

I strongly recommend EVA's direct LHR-BKK service. I've enjoyed over eighty trips and have never had cause for complaint.

One disaster on a Thailand trip; 2008. My passport, my cash, my cards, my car keys...all stolen. At Heathrow Airport. I didn't even make it to the plane. Not a happy day.....but a mostly happy ending, in that most of my stuff somehow , through a variety of means, apart from about £1500 cash got back to me. And ten days later, I was in Bangkok. By the way, EVA were very helpful. The LHR police weren't.

The inmates are now running the asylum.