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Everything posted by Gaybutton
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I apologize for going off topic, but there are some things I think need to be said. Nobody relishes having to do that, but at least get somebody, even if a professional nurse has to be hired - and that would not be particularly expensive in Thailand - to take care of the person you're living with and supposedly love. You don't just abandon him and the responsibility that's supposed to go with it. This guy did nothing. You might remember my old boyfriend. Even though we "finished" several years ago, I was still putting him through college and helping him as best as I could. He was six months away from earning a doctorate. Several weeks ago he became quite ill and had to be hospitalized. He was in the hospital nearly two weeks before anyone even told me about it. Once I knew, I was in that hospital every day and was watching his condition get worse and worse until he finally looked like a dying anorexic. He became so weak that he couldn't even move his legs and arms without help. He had to be catheterized and put in adult diapers and developed bed sores. If you think that was easy to watch, and be virtually helpless to do anything about it, think again. I paid to have him moved to a private room. His father stayed with him 24/7. I was not responsible for him, but I did everything I could to try to help. The point is no matter how difficult it may be to watch somebody you're close to suffer and die, that is not - at least to me - a good enough excuse to have just abandoned Allen. If you truly believe that is something to reward with 20,000 baht, or anything at all, I can only say your opinion is different from mine. 19 days ago he died. His family had no money, so I also paid for his funeral. It's going to take me a very long time to be able to get over it. He was only 28.
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Actually that would be a terrible gesture. That so-called boyfriend literally abandoned Allen toward the end. He would often leave Allen completely alone and helpless in his condo. Friends would come and find Allen unable to move and lying in his own filth, and he had been that way for hours. No food. No water. No nothing. When Allen was dying in the hospital the boy was rarely there at all and was interested only in what would happen with Allen's belongings and money. There is an appropriate gesture - but giving him money is not exactly the gesture I have in mind.
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Allen and I were close friends. Knowing him as I did, I think he would be quite pleased to see interest in his board still exists more than a decade later. He certainly never gave any indication that he would want his board and his efforts to eventually vanish from memory. I'm happy to see what Moses is doing and I believe Allen would be even happier. I see nothing inappropriate about it at all.
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Regarding the photo of the boy that inspired the current dispute, his face is not clear enough to be certain, but I'm sure I recognize him. He used to be a regular at the beach, but disappeared several years ago. I haven't seen him anywhere since. If he's still in Pattaya or on Gay Romeo or any of the other apps, I haven't spotted him there either. Travellerdave said "What every gay beach should have plenty of." Dongtan beach really did have "plenty of" several years ago. I certainly enjoyed it when it was difficult to choose which boy I wanted since there were so many of them. Now, along with that boy, they've all disappeared too, which is why I rarely go to the beach at all these days. Whenever I see a post giving us an update of Dongtan Beach, I keep hoping to see something that says available boys are starting to come back. Unfortunately, so far the posts usually tell us it's still rare to see any boys at all other than boys with a farang who brought them there. No matter how you choose to refer to them or categorize them, at Dongtan beach there are few to none to refer to or categorize anymore.
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I agree completely with firecat69's post above and since I live in Pattaya I've probably had much more 'practice'. The worst problem I've ever had with any Gay Romeo boy is if he turns out to be a dud, and that has hardly ever happened. I have never had a theft. The only time I've ever had a boy show up who was not the boy in the photos worked out just fine for me. It turned out that I liked that boy much better than the boy in the photos. That was a few years ago and I still see him regularly. I used to prefer the bars to the apps. Times have changed. Now it's the opposite. I prefer the apps to the bars.
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I know nothing about the place, whether it meets proper medical standards, or even whether it's licensed, but in Pattaya there is a "Testosterone Clinic" at the corner of Third Road and Pattaya Klang.
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I'm banging on it? I'll repeat - this week, if you don't want to carry your passport, then don't. Personally, I don't give a damn whether you carry it with you or not. I posted what the police are doing. What you decide to do in light of that - I couldn't care less. Are you even in Thailand this week? Ok, I've said my piece. I won't post further on this topic. You can have the last word. Do you think you can do it without the snide remarks, or are they necessary for you to make your point?
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Right. People always bring up 'prostitution is against the law too.' In case you haven't noticed, that law is almost never enforced. But according to the articles, the police are checking passports this week and they're targeting farang. If you don't want to carry your passport this week, then don't carry it. I fail to see the point of arguing about it.
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During this week, do you really think it's a good idea to take that chance? With terrorism as a potential threat, the police aren't playing games. And based on the photos in the following article in today's Pattaya One, Caucasian farang are being checked, at least in Pattaya. Take the chance if you want to, gents, but if the police check me I'll have my passport. http://pattayaone.net/pattaya-news/220053/foreigners-detained-as-tourist-police-lead-south-pattaya-crime-suppression-raid/#prettyPhoto I also disagree with NIrishGuy's comment that these checks will hurt tourism. I don't think so. I would think tourists would appreciate knowing the police are on the ball, even if they are inconvenienced. I don't see much room for complaint if people are not complying with the law. Looking at it from the police point of view, what would happen if they don't conduct these checks and a terrorist attack does occur? What are they supposed to say then? Sorry?
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That's what most people do. However, between now and New Year's I suggest carrying your actual passport and be extra careful with it so that you don't lose it. As you can see from the article, the police were arresting people who were not carrying their passport. You have to decide whether to risk carrying your passport or whether to risk arrest. The problem is the police are obviously heavily cracking down during the Christmas-New Year's Eve holidays in their effort to prevent terrorist attacks. There's no way to know whether they will accept a photocopy if you get checked. The article doesn't say. NIrishGuy is probably right about who they're checking, but how can we know whether they're also interested in aging Caucasian farang, or will become interested later in the week? Personally, I'd rather carry my passport for the next several days and be extra careful with it instead of risking arrest. Maybe the police will still accept a photocopy and maybe they won't. There's no way to know. The thing is, they don't have to accept anything other than the actual passport.
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Perhaps so. Meanwhile, I'd rather submit a rude post than see the OP end up with a rude awakening . . .
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I understand how you feel. I've been there too. When you do have those rational thinking moments, when it's not nearly killing you, the question to ask yourself: Is it nearly killing him? I don't think you need me to answer that question unless you actually believe he's pining away over you as you're pining away over him. I'm sorry I'm telling you things I know you don't want to hear, but I've lived in Thailand a long time. I've seen this same kind of situation over and over again. An aging farang comes to Thailand, meets a boy, falls in love with him, and thinks the boy feels the same way. While some people are posting their success stories, and I'm truly happy for them, they're the exception. Most of the time the end result is another brokenhearted farang with a now empty wallet. You seem like a very nice person. I'm hoping your eyes will open enough so the same won't happen to you. In the post above traveller123 said make sure you really know the guy. He's right. REALLY know the guy. You said you met him at the end of your trip in November. There's no way you really know the guy. You hardly know him at all. Maybe after you've spent several months with him it will be a different story, but for now I urge you to wake up and take control of your emotions before you fall into the same trap I've seen so many times over the years. Maybe the boy is absolutely sincere. I'm not saying he isn't, but your job is to make damned sure of it. For all you know he might have a whole string of farang who are also convinced they are in love with the boy and he loves them. I've seen that many times too. I remember one boy who used to carry around 5 mobile phones. When I asked him why, he freely admitted, bragged about it actually, that each was for a different farang. I asked him why he wasn't carrying just one, he said each farang had bought him a phone and a phone number with it, so carrying around just one wouldn't work. The boy didn't have to work. He had all 5 of them sending him plenty of money. True story. Another favorite story was a Sunee Plaza bar manager who was also good at convincing farang of true love. He had a little problem when 2 of them showed up in Pattaya at the same time - and of course neither knew about the other. For two weeks he somehow managed to 'take care' of both farang and survived the two weeks without getting caught. If pleas for money get started and more and more often there's yet another reason he needs more money, that, my friend, is what's known as a 'red light' and that's when you'll know you're being conned. Look for other 'red lights' too. Once you've known him for at least a year, or more, and have been able to spend at least weeks, or better still months, with him and all is still going well, then you'll know you found the right boy. That's when to start centering your life around him. But since you first met him in November, now is much too soon. Don't let him take control of your life and emotions. And please . . . don't be trying to convince yourself of something else I've all too often heard farang say - "Not this boy. He's different." If I had 10 baht for every time I've heard that one, my bank account would rival Donald Trump's. Until then, I give you one of my favorite quotes - one I've posted many times before: "If you want love in Thailand, rent it." I hope it all works out. If you do this the right way, maybe it will. But be ready to drop him in case it doesn't. Believe me, there are plenty more boys if it doesn't work out. I hope you won't have to learn that the hard way. Ok, I've said my piece. Good luck.
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2 friends. 2. Compared to the number who've tried it, and did fail, that's not a very promising figure. I have a feeling you disagree with me mainly because you intend to try it yourself. I'm not surprised you're not aware of failures. People usually don't post these kinds of failures. I, however, personally know several who tried it. You know how many of them succeeded? Zero. The only ones that succeeded at all were the ones in which the farang ended up returning to Thailand with the boyfriend and now lives here. And even some of those ended up failing. I really do hope it works out for you and your boyfriend. I know you're not going to change your mind because of what I'm posting, but if it doesn't work out you can't say you weren't warned.
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I agree with weewillie and anonone. No elaboration necessary. They said it just right. I wouldn't count on it if I were you. You might get very lucky and find a boy who would want to do that, but that would be the exception. I've seen it too many times over the years. It hardly ever works and the farang all too often ends up heartbroken, along with having spent a hell of a lot of money trying. A one or two week holiday would probably be ok, but longer than that stands very little chance. Why does it hardly ever work? You're probably a sophisticated traveler. The boy probably has never been out of Thailand in his life. He would be away from his family and friends and have no access to them other than a telephone call once in a while. He would be in an environment he's never experienced. He doesn't speak the language. He can't even understand what he watches on TV or a movie. He'll be away from the foods he likes. He'll feel completely out of place. He'll be too dependent on you. He'll be bored to death. Whether it's true or not, he'll very likely start thinking the only real reason you have him in your home country, long term, is for you to use him for sex and instead of being happy, he'll end up resenting you. That's the way it usually happens. No matter how well-intentioned your motives might be, most of the time the boy wants to go back to Thailand after only a few weeks - if that long. I'm sorry if I'm ruining your dream, but that's all it is - a dream - a dream highly unlikely to end happily. It's not realistic at all. I wish it was, but it simply is not. Your best chance for any kind of success is to be with him when you're in Thailand and leave it at that. If you think you're idea will have happy results and will somehow work out well, you're setting yourself up for a major, traumatic disappointment. My advice is to see it through his perspective. In other words, don't do it. If you really find yourself in love with a Thai boy, then love him enough to let him live his life where he belongs rather than thinking about it the way you want it to be.
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Somehow, I don't foresee that happening any time soon. Even if it does, I don't assume the fun will be over at all. Suppose every one of the Thai boys become completely disinterested in us aging farang. There are plenty of Cambodian and Lao boys, and soon probably plenty of Burmese boys too, to take over for them - unless, of course, those countries become rich too. I don't think the go go bars would have any trouble finding Thai boys even under those circumstances. Think about it - they work only 5 or 6 hours, spend their time with their friends, diddle around with farang customers once in a while, get free drinks when they have a customer, and make money doing it. "Hookers have the perfect job. You got it, you sell it, and you still got it." - Rodney Dangerfield
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I disagree with the idea that Thailand is particularly bad off economically. It may not be the world's richest country, populated by the world's richest people, but relatively speaking I think Thailand is doing just fine. I see plenty of nice homes, cars, shopping, entertainment, etc. What I don't see is people reduced to sleeping under bridges in makeshift cardboard shelters, getting their only meals at homeless shelters or scavenging dumpsters and carrying "will work for food" signs. But I sure see plenty of that where I come from in the USA.
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Why even bother trying to do it yourself? There are loads of air conditioning service shops. Any of them will be happy to come by and do a full service maintenance and cleaning, usually for 500 baht per unit. It takes about 45 minutes to an hour for the service.
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Charlie Mercer. Yes, that's his real name. He was found dead in his room. I have no details at this point and only just found out about it myself. Charlie was a long time moderator on this board. You heard about it at Nice Boys. Charlie was one of Nice Boys best customers. He was there most nights. He would regularly buy a bottle and share it with the boys. He has lived in Pattaya since about 2003-2004.
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That is precisely what I said. While you're busy telling me what to read, I'll repeat - for the third time - see a doctor if the problem persists. That's what I would do. You wouldn't? Ok, make more snide remarks if you want to, just like I'm supposed to give a damn. I've given my advice. The OP will either follow it or he won't. I'm done with this topic.
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Bread Machines and Coffee Makers in Thailand: Where and How Much?
Gaybutton replied to TotallyOz's topic in Gay Thailand
The short answer is I don't know. I've used several recipes that make a smaller loaf and they're designed to make a smaller loaf. If you try it with more yeast, I wouldn't use too much more - maybe a quarter or half teaspoon more at most. If you put in too much yeast, you'll end up spending quite awhile cleaning up the resulting mess. -
I won't say that's the most ridiculous statement I've ever seen, but it comes close. "Real" sick people? Are you another message board intern? Maybe he has a cold and maybe he doesn't. I don't know and neither do you. If his problem persists, going to see a doctor is the thing to do before it gets worse and Pattaya Memorial is the best convenient place for him to go. If he wants second or third best, he can always go to a street clinic.
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You didn't say where you are staying. If you decide to go to a doctor instead of listening to the advice of all the message board interns, if you're staying around the Boyztown or Sunee Plaza area, I suggest going to Pattaya Memorial Hospital. Go up Second Road. When you're very close to the Pattaya Klang intersection, you'll spot the sign for the hospital on the right. They provide excellent treatment, charge reasonable prices, and they'll give you your prescriptions right there. If your problem persists more than two or three days, I hope you'll go. It might not be a cold at all. There are other things it might be and you need a proper diagnosis.
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If you think that's bad, it's nothing compared to the sound level when some of these open air bars have a party. Try being around for one of those. They almost invariably use oversized loudspeakers, volume turned up to the max, and off-key singers who sound to me more like someone is torturing cats. Just a few days ago I was going to spend some time at the Question Mark bar in Jomtien Complex. Another bar a few doors away was having a party and it was typical. The volume was so loud, and I mean loud, it drove me away before I even sat down. I went over to the next soi to talk to Erich at the Ganymede, but even with the buildings in between it was still too loud to even be able to talk to Erich. I went home. Anyone remember the law that prohibits the volume from being greater than 90 decibels? Please give me a few minutes to finish having my little laugh.