PeterRS

Hal will always be 2001 😉

The problem stems partly from the lack of sex education in the vast majority of schools. Blame this on one of the early Thaksin governments which cut the HIV-AIDS budget substantially. Before then, most young guys grew up aware of the dangers of unprotected sex. Now many young guys know of HIV-AIDS but have little clue how the virus is transmitted. I have read more than a few reports of the many saunas catering to young Thais on the outskirts of Bangkok where condoms are rarely used. And I am certain this is a result of ignorance. Although I have no statisics, i suspect most of the patrons are not on PrEP. It's particularly sad when Thailand had an excellent record in controlling the spread of HIV in the 1990s and very early 2000s. But a United Nations study in 2014 found a new rise in HIV infections. 70% of the cases were in the 15-24 age group and of these 41% were amongst msm. Part of the Report on the Study says this - UNICEF says it believes that Thailand urgently needs more effective protection measures and appropriate testing and treatment programmes for young people in order to curb rising infection rates for HIV and STI. These programs, however, will need to be designed at the community level, with the involvement of young people themselves, so that they meet their specific needs. “Among several recommendations from the study, we are calling for the age of consent for HIV testing and counselling to be reduced from the current age of 18 years,” Mr. Gass said. “If a young person feels that they have engaged in an activity that puts them at risk of HIV, they should be entitled to have a test without needing parental consent.” The Medical Council of Thailand had actually been calling for children under 18 to have the right to be tested without parental consent since 2008. It is now in effect. But given that 8 years have passed since that United Nations Study, this country significantly undermined its earlier dedication to the reduction of HIV in its young people.

Jusr a reminder - should one be needed - that if you any any assets at all in Thailand you need to have a will written and executed in Thai for the disposal of those assets. So if you own a condo, have money in a bank account, etc., without such a will the Thai courts will take an age to make its decision about their disposal. In almost 100% of the time, these will go to your nearest living relative. If you have a Thai partner here, he is likely to get nothing if there is no Thai will. This can be done relatively inexpensively through one of the law firms who do this on the internet.

Audrey Hepburn will always be Breakfast Glenn Close will always be Fatal

Seems this Board is now infected by Beachlover redux!

Your posts now mark you out as a complete troll that is becoming abusive. You wrote a few posts ago that you planned to delete your membership. Trouble is, trolls don't like to do that so I guess you will be here as long as the owner/moderator is prepared to tolerate your increasingly schizophrenic posts. And guess what? A troll will now trash me! What a surpise and it will mean precisely nothing to me. After all, I don't need to hide in doorways

Goodness me! Such strong statements and positive actions that you propose! How come you behave like a frightened child when talking about why you can't take boys from bars? Sorry but it doesnt quite gel with some of the members here!

I don't blame anyone for their beliefs. I am not sure if you know that Moses not only owns the other chat site sawatdee network and has over the years also willingly provided technical help to gaybuttonthai.com. He did not have to buy sawatdee and keep it running. Several thailand gay chat sites have vanished in recent years. But he decided to keep sawatdee open. I don't know if you look at that site. Many do. It also happens that he lives in Russia. For all I know he may be Russian. Like it or not he is still as entitled as anyone else to his opinion without these being called lies - unless you can prove they are lies. And what reason do you have for calling him disagreeable? The fact is that much of what he has written is NOT lies. I have been there. When were you last in Russia? Frankly, I find your comments on this topic so totally different from those on the other thread "Your life as a Senior Gay Man". There you paint yourself as being a gay who has chosen to live in Pattaya but terrified about being seen taking a boy out of a bar. You tell us we will not believe how much "a bag of nerves" you are if you are brave enough to invite a sexy guy to your condo. Then how you almost hide in corners waiting for the coast to be clear. I find your activity on both threads getting pretty clear to trolling.

Happy to oblige. "If Hitler invaded Hell, I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons.“

Can I just say that I find the tone of this thread going downhill too quickly. Most people support Ukraine. A few clearly support Russia. Getting worked up about it here is not going to do anything but arouse deep-rooted feelings. I have never been to Ukraine but support it after the Russian invasion. I have been four times to Moscow and twice to St. Petersburg. They are both amazing cities with some extraordinary wonders. I loathe Putin's homophobia but that did not stop me making meaningful glances at a waiter in a St. Petersburg hotel which, if my gaydar was working properly, were reciprocated. That is as far as I went, though, I would never have risked anything more. In my view, anyone even attempting to find a gay venue or to hook up with a Russian in Russia is asking for a great deal of trouble - even if they feel safe for Russians who live there.. I know two blacks don't make etc. , but would those prepared to chance it in Russia do likewise in Brunei, Iran, Nigeria, some of the Gulf States etc.?

Merely for the sake of accuracy, her father King George VI was the second son of King George V. His older brother was the philadering but hugely popular Prince Edward. He had had several affairs, usually with older married women. His father despaired of him and was disgusted by his affairs. In 1931 one of his romantic relationships introduced him to Mrs. Wallis Simpson, an American who had divorced her first husband. Edward fell head over heels in love with her. By 1934 she was his mistress. None of the establishment expected the affair to last much longer than the others. It did. As George V became ill, the royal court and the government became alarmed. The British Secret Service had her investigated. One report claimed she had spent time in Shanghai (true) where she learned some special sexual techniques (uncertain). One story, true or not, was that she perfected what is termed the "Shanghai Squeeze" or the "Singapore Grip". This being a respectably gay forum, I will not go into detail! She certainly exercised a very strong influence over Edward. When George V died, there was concern in the government. Wallis announced that she would divorce for the second time and a mock adultery by her husband was arranged. As King, Edward announced he would marry Wallis once the divorce was final. Now the government went into panic mode. The monarch of the UK is also head of the Anglican Church which in those days did not permit marriage to a divorcee if the divorced spouse was still alive. There was also fear that Edward would interfere in the business of government (not permitted in the UK) and would share state secrets with the domineering Wallis. The government gave the King an ultimatum - get rid of Wallis or abdicate. By all accounts, his brother who became King George VI was a diligent, hard working and much loved monarch. But he was a heavy smoker and suffered from cancer. Unknown to most he had had a lung removed. The then Princess Elizabeth stood in for him many times, especially on planned overseas trips. In 1952 she and her husband were in Kenya at the start of a long trip that was to take them onwards to Australia and New Zealand. They had just spent a night at the Treetops hotel when she learned that her father had died. Elizabeth was now Queen. The couple then flew immediately back to London.

Sometimes doing the right thing can be incredibly painful. But when it has to be done, it is better than the alternative of a longer, bitter decline in what was once something unique and beautiful.

A good point. I have no idea if any of his immediate family were able to access his emails or phone. There is one postscript which I did not bother to add to the story. About 7 or 8 years ago, I was with a friend having lunch in another Italian restaurant off Sathorn. I recognised the owner as being one of the ladies who had left Zanotti along with my friend. I asked her if she remembered my friend. Of course, she said. Had she seen him in recent years, I asked. There was a pause which I considered too long. Yes, she said. I asked if he was OK and in Bangkok. She summoned another of the staff who I did not recognise, chatted a little in Thai and then told me he was OK but she did not know where he was. I merely asked her to tell him I was asking about him. I wrote in another post recently that I have never been able to understand Thai logic. But I have an idea when a Thai is being deliberately evasive. I took what I was hearing and the way she said it as being basically, "I don't want to talk about a difficult subject." Why could it have been difficult? I can only guess. This was very similar to another reaction when a long time Thai friend passed away. He ran a little shop with branches in Chatuchak and Terminal 21. I was in Chatuchak and wanted him to make something for me. When I saw he was not there, I asked if he was overseas as he often sourced materials in China and India. "Sorry, I don't know where he is," his nice assistant said. I was just looking at some of the products when the co-owner of the business came in. She chatted to the assistant in Thai. I asked if she knew where my friend was. After various knowing glances between the pair, she said she was very sorry to tell me he had died. Eventually I managed to tease out of her that there had been a fire in his condo and he had not been able to get out. I left certain of two things. Firstly he must have died. Secondly it definitely had nothing to do with a fire in a condo. But what? I'll never find out.

Interesting that both reigned for 70 years, although Elizabeth for about 120 days longer. Interesting, too, I suggest that neither was destined to become monarch at their birth. Accidents of history resulted in the crowns being passed to them.

No one needs me to point out that friendship is a two way street. That means opening up to others and welcoming them into your life. It does not necessarily mean their knowing your sexuality. I have several straight friends, mostly not in Thailand, whom I have known for decades and who still do not know I am gay. I stress "know". The fact that I have never been married nor had a steady girlfriend means that at my age virtually everyone has guessed that I am gay. I never bring the issue up in conversation. But if anyone asks me outright, I will always answer "Yes, I am gay." I also have a small number of lady friends whom again I have known for decades and whom I have told about my sexuality. None is in the slightest concerned about it. One is one of my closest friends. Over the years, we have taken vacations in various parts of Europe enjoying our shared interests and having a lot of fun times together. Now mostly retired, I spend a lot of time writing. My next book will be dedicated to her. I cannot speak about Pattaya as I visit only rarely. I live in Bangkok. Three of my close western friends here I had known for at least a decade before I moved. So it was not a case of my having to start anew in a totally new country. My experience of making close friends with Thais is more complicated. Over decades of visiting and living in Thailand I have realised that I will never understand Thai logic. And that failure makes a deep friendship more difficult. Not impossible as I know farangs who have been happily partnered with/married to Thais for decades. I have written in another thread of a very close Thai friend who was not gay who frequently came to my apartment over a couple of years and we'd spend hours just chatting, laughing and gossiping as real friends do. One other I was close to for almost 25 years was gay. Again we'd meet frequently and have lots of good times, especially discussing his always complicated love life (which did not involve me!) Sadly a nasty illness brought death much too early. So in response to your question, yes you can make close friends. But please realise that very often you will have to take the initiative.

So you know the problem, but you are not prepared to take the 'medicine' to enable you to have that fuller life. We're all different and that is your way of living it. Frankly, though, if I wanted a fuller life, I'd hate myself if I had not done my damnedest to solve it. As has been said before in other posts, I don't want to die with regrets.

Perhaps even worse is when a boy you care about just disappears and you have no idea what happened to him, even after many years have passed. Around 16 years ago I would occasionally go to the up-market Italian restaurant Zanotti on Saladaeng. Sometimes a client would take me. At others I would go with friends. Expensive at evening time, it had a very good set lunch at a very reasonable price. There was one waiter who I found especially attractive. Mid-20s, he came from a town in Isaan. His English was good and his smile virtually to die for. I usually chatted with him. Over time we became friends although he always said he was not gay. As his room was not far from my condo, I invited him round for drinks after work one evening. I was surprised that he came. Soon he would come quite frequently, almost always sleeping overnight on the sofa. For his birthday, I got a cake from the Mandarin Oriental shop and he was so happy. He said he'd never had a birthday cake before! Only on 2 or 3 occasions would he knock on my door and ask to sleep with me. Although i was not in love with him, I loved his company. He could be wonderfully funny and we spent many evenings on the sofa just chatting and laughing. I considered him a lovely close friend. After about a year, he and several other staff left Zanotti following a disagreement with the manager. He told me that of the 10% service charge, the manager kept 8.5% leaving the staff to share just 1.5%. Eventually he told me that he wanted to work overseas. The Mango Tree restaurant (near Tawan Bar) had a namesake in Dubai. He had been offered a job there. I checked the contract with which I told him there were several problems. He tried to bring them up with the manager here but was told it was take it or leave it. So he signed and flew off to Dubai. In several early emails he told me how much he was enjoying the work and being in Dubai. Soon, though, things began to turn sour and he wanted to break his contract and just leave. He did have his passport but no air ticket which he was saving up for. I told him just to get the ticket and I would pay him the balance. Back in Bangkok, he did a couple of part-time restaurant jobs before he was offered a post on one of the Royal Viking Line Cruise ships. Hugely excited, off he went to somewhere in the Baltic. When in ports he would email me saying he loved the job, despite the hard work. Eventually he had some leave coming up. He wrote and asked if he could stay with me in Bangkok. Of course I agreed. Having given me his dates, he said he'd contact me when he got back to Thailand. Sure enough, he mailed me to say he had arrived but would first go to see his family. He'd come to Bangkok after 6 days. That was the last I heard from him! I mailed him several times. They were unanswered. I left sms messages on his phone which was still working. No reply. I called and just got the ring tone. After a couple of months I wrote that I did not care what had happened to him - maybe he'd married, maybe found a long-term boyfriend, maybe been in a bad accident - all I wanted to know was that he was OK and perhaps see him if he came to Bangkok. If he needed help, I was here. Again no reply. I hope he is somewhere and happily settled down with the good job he deserves and a love life that he enjoys. If I could just get one mail saying that, I'd be really happy for him. It would also set my mind at ease. My fear is that something happened when he was back with his family and he died. It's the not knowing that occasionally, even now, gnaws at me.

WIth all respect to you @vinapu as one of the most prolific and important posters on this board, you are lousy when it comes to arguing your case in a discussion. This one has just descended in nonsense!

Surely a key ingredient in enjoying retirement is to be at peace with oneself. However we decide to live out our remaining years, whether short or long, the absence of worry is liberating. Some guys want to be active in pursuing a gay lifestyle and enjoying lfe to the full. Others are unable to do so for one reason or another. I am a firm believer that we all create our own realities. For those who are less than happy, I'd ask you to take time to work out why you feel that way. What specifically creates that unhappiness? What in your view would make you happier (let's leave money out of the discussion as there is often little we can do about that late in life)? That decided, I believe you have no choice. You have to set those demons, fears, worries aside. See a psychiatrist if you think that might help. I fully realise that changing views that have been welded into your brain for decades is far from easy. But the choice is simple. Either continue with those demons etc. and perhaps keep regretting that you did not do this or do that. Or make a conscious decision that now you are in the latter part of your life, this life is for enjoyment and fulfilment. Your enjoyment and fulfilment. You have to make the decisions. They may seem hard, but you'll be surprised how easy they really are once you have made up your mind. Just do it!

I also love many wines, red, white and rose and would find life more difficult if I could not have some nice wine regularly from time to time. Unlike @kokopelli 2, though, I love a really good sweet wine at the end of a meal. Although I get to drink it only rarely, a glass or two (they're small for sweet wines) of Chateau d'Yquem is a small miracle. The rich taste of so many honeyed tropical and other fruits in one's mouth and an aftertaste with roasted nuts that lasts at least five minutes. One of life's glories!

Of course there is a countdown to life. But none of us really know when that will be unless we have an untreatable illness. Why do you assume that lifespan will end at 82 - 84. For many it will, but for others it won't. I would hate to live feeliing that I had to pack everything into life before I am 84. One day I will not be alive. I'll leave it to fate to decide when that will be. The main thing for me is that I have wills and executors and know that whatever I leave will go to those I wish to have it. Am I living life to the fullest? The answer is definitely yes. I am well over 60. Having retired from my main job, I still work part-time as I have always loved the work I do and cannot imagine life without some involvement in it. Prior to covid, I travelled quite extensively and will definitely continue to do so as barriers to travel break down. I already have four trips planned and tickets booked for one. Again, I cannot imagine life without travel to those places I enjoy and meeting the friends I have made there. The one limiting factor may be travel insurance as I gave up my annual policy 3 years ago. But one of my credit cards offers good travel insurance on a per trip basis which is fine for me. As for sex, I have a partner and am very happy in Bangkok. It is some years since I was a regular at gay venues. On my trips, though, if my partner can not join me because of his job, I have more freedom to meet guys if I wish. I do and have rarely had a problem meeting up with nice guys. My partner and I discussed this and he is not concerned about it. But I always tell him about my adventures on my return. We go out to various types of restaurant quite regularly and enjoy meeting up with our friends (who are mostly gay). The thought that I might have to countdown to a definite ending date horrifies me!

Fair point. But my main point is that you related the recession suffered by many countries in the 1970s, not just the UK - after all, the quadrulping of the price of oil at the start of that decade affected all oil importing country - with communism. It had nothing to do with communism. Yet for whatever reason, you fail to accept that! Let me restate - the draconian oil price caused a worldwide recession. Not sure wher eyou live but it certainly affected your country unless you come form a country which was an oil exporter. Again you totally deflect. You brought up those historical figures in relation to this discussion. You quoted them to prove that there is no such thing as historical accuracy. So you believe that what happened 50 or so years ago cannot be recorded accurately? Come on! That is absolute nonsense and you know it!

Sorry @vinapu - you have strayed way off topic - and there is indeed such a thing as historical accuracy. We have been discussing the recession in the 1970s. The facts - accuracy - of what happened during those years are perfectly well documented in great detail. Perhaps you can enlighten us what have Alexander the Great and Genghis Khan to do with that decade?

With respect, as you well know there is nothing that makes uninterested readers look at any paricular post or thread. It's great that there has been quite a flood of new posts on other topics recently. I happen to believe historical accuracy is important - but others clearly seem not to agree.

Has worked extremely well at Taipei since installation more than 5 years ago.