PeterRS

With the heat presently being experienced in Spain, France, Italy and Greece, I wonder if anyone in their late 50s or early 60s would be taking a gamble that the temperatures are not going to rise significantly over the course of their retirement. In the past Portugal, which in fact is #1 on that list in the 2023 Index with Thaland at #9, has had occasional fires, but I think not many. On average its temperatures are much below those of neighbouring Spain. My only visit was in late September when the weather was extemely pleasant during the day and quite cool at night. I now know four Asians who have moved to Portugal, three to retire and one with a view to retirement. All say it's an amazing country and a good deal cheaper than most others. The financial requirements for retirement are also vastly lower than Thailand, for example. At present the first year requires a bank deposit of less than €10,000 or US$11,250. Taking the annual one year payment rather than the monthly route, Thailand requires $23,400 for 5 months reducing to $11,700 for 7. But unlike in Portugal, this cannot be touched! I believe also the charge in Portugal is less for second and subsequent years. From your very first day, you are in the Schengen Zone making travel to other countries in the zone so easy. After 5 years you are entitled to become a permanent resident. That then gives you access to the free health service. There is also a vast number of towns and villages outside Lisbon and Porto where the cost of living is less. Plus the sea and beaches are never far away. And all that is before you start thinking about some of the excellent Portuguese wine!

Oops, someone read my post LOL. Sterling just dropped under 45!

We all know that Malaysia is outwardly pretty homophobic. The country retains the old British colonial anti-sodomy law. Many religious and some political leaders profess to be very anti-gay. This even though many visitors find Kuala Lumpur quite a gay city, especially under the surface of that supposedly moral high ground. After the massive 1MDB corruption scandal which has seen the former Prime Minister jailed for 12 years and his shopaholic wife sentenced to 10 years, a scandal that lost the country US$4 billion, one might have thought the government would be happy to remain out of the headlines for a while. That scandal spread the globe and involved dirty deeds in the banking, entertainment and political worlds. It has been described as "one of the world's largest financial scandals." Now, though, thanks to a small Swiss watchmaker, the government will be back in court for what in most countries would be regarded as a trivial case. To celebrate Gay Pride, Swatch produced a limited edition of Pride-themed watches. On arrival in Malaysia, the government seized 174 of the watches worth over US$14,200. Apart from the gay element, the government's reasoning was that the watches violated the Printing Presses and Publications Act of 1984. Swatch is suing the government for the return of the watches on the basis that this was an illegal act as they are not a publication which can be prohibited under the Act. The case will go to court on Thursday (20th). While it will be interesting to see the arguments put forward by the government, it is highly unlikely that the government will easily give in. The headlines about its being in favour of promoting homosexuality will be anathema to its leadership. https://www.bangkokpost.com/world/2612866/swatch-sues-malaysia-over-seized-pride-watches-says-local-media

After conquering first Japan and subsequently Thailand and Taiwan, movies in the BL genre are now popular in more homophobic South Korea. The following CNN article tells of a South Korean singer and actor Park Jae-chan who had had very limited success in the world of K-Pop. His group was only selling 1,000 copies of their latest albums during their first weeks. Then Park was approached to play a lead in a BL movie. "Semantic Error" became a huge streaming hit and was later seen by 60,000 in Seoul cinemas. Park became so popular he was featured in more than a dozen major magazines including the Korean versions of Elle and Cosmopolitan. His latest album sold 100,000 copies in its first week. A still from the South Korean BL movie "Ocean Likes Me" - photo E-Motion Studio https://edition.cnn.com/style/boys-love-south-korea-intl-hnk/index.html

Entrance to saunas in HKG has traditionally been on the higher side. I can't recall if Hutong has a two pricing system. I do know that it had a selective entry pre-covid. On Friday evenings, for example, when there would sometimes be a queue outside, one of the employees would decide who would be the next to enter. I think this was to ensure many more twinks than uncles. Entrance to 24 Kaikan in Shinjuku was ¥2,500 when I was last there about 4 years ago (US$18 today but the exchange rate then made it closer to $22). SInce Uber gave up in Thailand some years ago, I only have the Grab app on my phone. So thanks for that advice. I'll add in Uber, although I sometimes think the hike up the steep hill is good for getting rid of a few calories!! Being the rainy season I doubt it. I should have tried to find it in May during my last visit. The only other trip I have planned this year is mid-November when it is almost certainly too chilly for beach going. HONG KONG BEACHES In my earlier post, I forgot to mention gay beaches. On the Island the main gay beach used to be the small Middle Bay located between Repulse Bay and South Bay. https://www.discoverhongkong.com/in/interactive-map/middle-bay-beach.html It had a shark net, a pontoon to swim out to, a small cafe with simple meals, toilets and a cruisy changing room. Lots of cute guys used to frequent the beach at week-ends. During weekdays there would always be a few guys in skimpy swimwear tanning themselves. In the late afternoons and evenings there was sometimes some action in the bushes and rocks area close to the right side of the beach. I was told that many gay guys have moved on to the nearby and much larger South Bay beach but it is easy to check both. Parking is always a problem as the meter bays are snapped up early and the cops are active in giving illegally parked cars tickets. But it not difficult to walk down there from the main road which passes Repulse Bay or just take a taxi. Over on Lantau island on the oother side from the airport, for decades there was a gay beach at Cheung Sha. This is a 3 km long beach with white powdery sand, lots of cafes, a few bars, toilets and changing facilities. It is split into two sections. Local families and water sports enthusiasts tend to opt for the Lower beach. The Upper is quieter and closer to foliage which can see some action. But during weekdays don't expect to find many guys there. Getting to the beach is not difficult now. You take the MRT to Tung Chung station (the local version of the airport railway) and then a bus over the hill from there. This site has all the details - https://www.discoverhongkong.com/eng/explore/great-outdoor/wellness/cheung-sha-beach.html

Agree with almost all of @hojacat's comments. I lived in Hong Kong for 20 years and worked there for an additional 16. So I do know it quite well. I love the mix of ancient colonial and modern architecture, although the main parts of the Island and Kowloon are now much more modern. There used to be a light show on the Island which you can see from the Kowloon side starting at 8:00 pm. Again that is something unique (photo without the light show!) Also I have been a frequent visitor to Taipei since the 1990s and continue to visit about 4 times a year. Perhaps because I knew Hong Kong so well and remember when it was not such a political football, I am gradually falling out of 'love' with it. I do return occasionally for business and love the place with almost as much fervour as I did when I first landed more than 4 decades ago. The views are incredible, the hustle and bustle unlike anywhere else, the food divine and its so easy to get around. The MRT gets you to most places (be careful: taxi fares are very high) and there are some fantastic places to visit. You have to go up to the Peak. Get the Peak tram to take you up - it leaves from Garden Road a short walk up from the imposing I M Pei's geometric Bank of China Building. https://www.thepeak.com.hk/en I love a simple tram journey either from Central eastwards or westwards. Fares are HK$3 (US$0.40) for as long a ride as you wish. It gives you a great idea of what old Hong Kong looked like. Same with the ferries. I used to love going to Lamma Island on a Sunday. There were ferries to Yeung Shue Wan which was close to a rather nice beach (now totally spoiled by a power station, alas), crash out for a few hours, walk over the hills to Sok Ku Wan and have dinner at the island's 'Hilton' - just an open air bar/restaurant but with fantastic seafood - and get the evening ferry back from there. As Hong Kong has gone downhill politically, so its gay scene is not what it once was (but then, where is?). Hutong is very much the sauna to go to and there are quite a few others of varying sizes and varying clientele. During the week, I'd suggest Hutong as your best bet. Not sure how old you are, but there is a tiny sauna named CE half way up Lyndehurst Terrace on the island and very close to the very long central escalator which takes you almost half way up to the Peak. I have not been for some years and so cannot vouch for its present state. It used to be a place for younger Asians to hook up with older westerners. But its not a patch on Hutong. The bar scene is also no longer what it used to be, alas. This ste lists some of them - https://thehkhub.com/best-gay-bars-hong-kong/ I've been to Zoo, Petticoat Lane and FLM in Sheung Wan close to Central District. None seems very busy during the week but packed at weekends. I also like to meet friends at T:ME bar off Hollywood Road but it's a small bar off the main street and not the greatest place to meet new friends to hook up. Taipei is also quite spread out. With its mutitude of cafes, restaurants and a few bars, the main Red House in the Ximending District is a great place for people watching although hook ups are not very likely here unless your gaydar is working overtime. @hojacat has mentioned Soi13in as the best sauna and I certainly agree. I wrote in another thread recently about the new incarnation of Hans Mens Sauna which is very close to the Red House (around 300 meters). There are lots of private rooms, dark room areas and 2 steam rooms where a lot of action takes place. Maybe worth a visit. Directions are on the post here. One of my passions in Taipei is quite simple - visiting a hot spring. Huang Tzu is the one to go to as most of the guys who seem to be there are gay. But do not expect much action as it a place to see and be seen rather than play around - although I believe there is some action in teh steam room after midnight. Good for making contacts, though. The one problem with Huang Tzu is that while it is easy to get there - take the Red subway line to Shipai station and then a taxi from there (around NT$160 now - just over US$5) - getting a taxi back is really difficult and without one, you are stuck with a long steep uphill trek to the main road to get a bus back down to the station. But then all the buses seem to stop around 11:15 pm or so and that would enable you to get the last subway train back to the centre of teh city. The apps are more active than I have found in Hong Kong. And it is unlikely you are going to find more than a handful of money boys on them if that is what you look for. Most Taiwanese just want to meet a foreigner and have good time with them - no money involved. Just remember that English is not as popular as in Hong Kong and so speaking a little more slowly will always help. For sigheeing, it depends very much on what you would like to do. There are countless Chinese temples, some very beautiful and many packed with younger people. The National Palace Museum is a must if you happen to like Chinese arts and crafts. When the Japanese started their march down eastern China prior to World War 2, the Chiang Kai Shek government crated many of the country's national treasures to keep them safe. Then after Chiang was beaten by Mao, he stole many of the crates and had them removed to Taiwan. The works on exhibit are a mere fraction of those in its possession but they include some stunning pieces, especially in bronze and jade. The little white and green jade piece on the cover of the Museum's catalogue is one of the Museums' most admired works. If you look closely you can see two tiny insects crawling over the green. And then of course there is Taipei 101, for a few years the world's tallest building. It used to be packed with Chinese tourists, but should now be much easier to get to the observation decks because very few Chinese are permitted to go to Taiwan. On a clear day you can see way beyond the city to the sea in the west and the mountains both around and to the south. In hot weater there s a gay beach west of Tamshui at the end of the Red Line. I did try to find it once but got lost. My friends tell me it is actually quite easy to find and there are usually a lot of gay guys there at the week ends. Outside the city there are several attractions including quite lovely walks. One trip perhaps worth considering is to the Shifen Falls. You need 2 trains to get there and then there is a good 800 meter walk. They are not especially large, but certainly with a visit and very popular. As you walk back you will see students lighting Chinese lanterns on the train tracks at the station and the floating them into the air. Lastly I totally agree that Hong Kong is more expensive than Taipei. Much depends on how much you are prepared to spend on hotels. If you check on the hotel search engines like agoda, you'll see Hong Kong does have cheap hotels but with very small rooms.

Just tell them it is for artistic purposes - of the athletic kind!

Totally agree about the Frick. Visted on my first ever visit to NYC and many times since. Its Piero della Francescas, 3 Vermeers, Rembrandt, Goya, Holbein, Renoir, Reynolds, Manet, Gainsboroughs and especially the Fragonards are perfectly lovely in that rather intimate setting. Perfect in size and with beautiful works of art which do not leave you with visual indigestion! I cannot say I have a favourite but I do have a soft spot for Tintoretto's painting of the Venetian Ambassador. But that is probably because when I see it I am reminded of several lovely evenings spent listening to an ensemble playing Vivaldi and other baroque composers in the Upper Hall of the Scuola Grande di San Rocco in Venice decorated entirely with so many of Tintoretto's paintings .

Now we know Alcaraz won a fantastic match. Amazing for a 20 year old against arguably the greatest tennis player of all time! So now he has another £2.3 million in winnings less a large chunk in tax and in payments to his manager, coach and all others in his team. That makes his total tournament earnings as a professional up to more than US$20 million. But it is the winning clauses in his sponsorship and endorsement contracts that will bring him even more than the Wimbledon prize money. Plus the list of hopeful sponsors lining up outside his manager's door will become very long. A lucky hugely talented young man.

Thankfully, even flying millions of kms throughout my life and career, I have only had to make one travel insurance claim and it was for the on-going consequences of a travel delay in the autumn of 2012. I was flying BA from Edinburgh to Munich via Heathrow (for mileage and points reasons although there was an EasyJet aircraft on the next bay flying non-stop to Munich). I was then connecting to a cheap €90 Lufthansa return flight purchased months beforehand to get me to Dresden. At Edinburgh, we were all boarded on time onto a totally full 767. Then we waited. And waited some more, before the captain informed us of an hour's delay as a result of strong winds at Heathrow. As we waited, the cabin crew came round checking our onward tickets to ensure we were rebooked on to the next flights. That slightly worried me as the next BA flight ex LHR to Munich would make the connection to Lufthansa relatively tight. But stuck in a metal tube with the doors closed, what can one do? Arriving at LHR, of course I had missed the Munich connection and waited in the lounge for the next flight which was on the departure screens as leaving on time. But . . . I quickly realised that with most incoming flights delayed I needed to know where was my aircraft would be coming from and its likely arrival time at LHR. The BA staff in the lounge were totally hopeless. I went down to the general enquiries desk, waited 15 minutes before being informed the Munich aircraft was coming in from Paris and was subject to almost an hour's delay. So I would not get to Munich in time. My problem was Dresden is not served from LHR. Although it is only 350 kms from Munich I was on the last flight of the day. If I missed it, that flight and the return to Munich would be cancelled on the LH computer system. I'd also lose a night at my pre-paid hotel in Dresden. I checked train timetables - nothing that late. Naturally, as the BA flight landed, the LH flight was taking off. The LH staff were very helpful but there was nothing they could do. So I had to cough up around €420 for new full fare LH flights plus around €80 for the Holiday Inn Express hotel at Munich airport. Unfortunately with tickets on 2 separate airlines and bils from 2 separate hotels, that makes claims much more complex. The insurance company wanted paperwork from each confirming reasons for delays and hotel costs. As I was then a BA top tier Execuitve member, the member services agency in Sydney processed that quickly. LH was much more complicated. But after filing the claim along with reams of paperwork, I did finally get the costs less the small deductible reimbursed around 2 months later.

Oh for the halcyon days following the start of the Asian Economic Crisis! In January 1998 sterling hit 86.034. As I was starting to think of purchasing my apartment around 18 months later, equally as good was the baht interest rate I got of 20% over one year followed by 16% for part of the next. By May 1999 sterling had fallen to its lowest level 59.942 before starting to climb and reaching 75.264 in February 2005. It then slowly began to fall again. As @Ruthrieston points out, there was a peak of around 56 in May 2014 and then again in May 2015. Since then like Humpty Dumpty it has been crashing, albeit more slowly than that revered children's character. However, with the British economy in its present dire straits and a General Election due next year which will finally see the Conservative Party thrown out of power and the indecision this will cause - if only temporarily - I cannot believe the rate of 45 will hold much longer. But then my economic forecasts seem always to be wrong! 😵 https://tradingeconomics.com/united-kingdom/currency

Yes, just 5 days at the end of the month. As it is the rainy/typhoon season, there are some insane deals at some of the top hotels. And the China Airlines return ticket is still under 10,000 baht.

Sad but true. Excellent article and one that should be mandatory reading for all tourists - and not merely younger ones.

We'll have to wati to see if @vinapu gives it his 7-star rating!

TAIWAN FAST TRACK IMMIGRATION For those who have visited Taiwan no less than 3 times during the last 12 months, there is a special one-year fast track certificate you can apply for from the Taiwan government. As with all fast track procedures, it makes Immigration a breeze. The certificate is available when clicking at the bottom of this link. It does not matter how many days you have stayed on each trip as it only asks for the dates on your arrival stamps. Nor does it matter if you used more than one passport. My passport changed in March. I had two visits in November and February and another in May. There is space on the form for both sets of information. When getting my new form this morning, I forgot about it being essentially for business purposes and just clicked sightseeing as the reason for visits. But it was still approved! The certificate is primarily for countries with visa-waivers for Taiwan. So there are special conditions for those from China, Hong Kong and Macao, as well as a few other countries. https://oa1.immigration.gov.tw/nia_freq After competion just click Apply. On the next page click Print which will send the completed certificate to your downloads box. It took less than 30 seconds to process sending it to my computer!

Any period with major holidays, especially school holidays, in the US, Europe, Australia etc. will result in considerably higher prices. I once spent a week at the lovely Marriott in Kao Lak north of Phuket. I had forgotten that it was the week after Easter week. The hotel was totally packed with mostly German tourists and their families. Thankfully they mostly clustered around the pool and the beach was blissfully empty.

Not having new movies around doesn't worry me much. There are so many good ones I have not seen it gives me time to catch up. I worry much more about television, though. The last time the screenwriters were on strike there was one result we are living with today with increasing regularity - the rise of reality TV. Not that it did not exist beforehand. It just took off once the strike was underway and most of the new programmes were a poor imitation production-wise compared to their predecessors. TV suppliers need programmes, and if there are none with scripts, what better than to pack schedules with those based around programmes which make up their own dialogue. So we'd better stand by for lots more 'fascinating' new programmes on the lines of The Bachelor indonesia, The Bad Skin Clinic, some of the seeming idiots chosen for 90 Day Fiancee, Say Yes to the Dress, Metal Shop Masters, Cake Wars, the dreadful production values of Cruise Ship Murders and so on. Of course there have been some great reality TV shows depending on your likes and dislikes including Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Masterchef and American Ninja Warrior. Not that True Visions covers itself in glory. Its content has gone way downhill in the last decade. This started when it got rid of HBO on cost grounds. HBO used to have some of the best drama series but True replaced it with movie channels showing so many repeats, so many older and really old movies and movies in languages other than English for which it can not bother to add English subtitles. The ridiculous height of this policy came with the showing of the winner of the Oscar Best Picture, Life is Beautiful. When shown in Thai cinemas had it Thai and English subtitles. On True it had both Thai subtitles and Thai dubbing - but no English sub-titles! Across its channels it shows more and more programmes in languages other than Thai or English and with no English sub-titles. We have had to endure what seem to be quite interesting programmes in Slovakian in addition to Spanish, German, two 12-episode series of what seems a great Dutch thrilled The Oldenheim Twelve - but it's only in Dutch, Finnish, Italian, French and a rather interesting series in Korean about three cute young Korean stars travelling around South America. Complain to True Visions? The response is always the same. They show what the programme suppliers provide as they are supplied. And that of course is not merely a senseless reply (did they never hear about supplying what the customer requests?), it is simply not 'true' because almost all programmes are also dubbed into Thai. That is perfectly understandable - but do overseas programme suppliers do the dubbing? Of course they don't. That's nonsense! The programmes are suppied in advance and the dubbing done here. The much more recent dropping of Star Sports in favour of the cheaper Gulf-based BeIn has resulted in some programmes being continued - although it did try to drop last year's Australian Open Tennis by saying it had failed to get the rights (i.e. for the first time ever it was not prepared to pay for them) before thousands of mostly Thai subscribers phoned to complain and it was reinstated the very next day. But who in Thailand regularly watches Korean baseball which fills one of the channels? (Doesn't True Visions realise that Japanese baseball players are much more cute 😵)?

This is very typical in Taipei. I think @hojacat will agree that it is relatively rare to see guys on their own. I certainly find this at the gayish Huang Tzu hot spring. A note about Soi13in - you will not find it on Utopia Asia even though it has been open for several years now! I wrote to the webmaster around a couple of years ago to ask why it is not included. I can't recall what he replied but I think it was something to do with his having asked the sauna owner for some details and did not get a reply. Whatever the reason, it makes one wonder if other facilities in other cities are deliberately omitted from the Utopia-Asia site. If the Utopia-Asia webmaster is reading this, perhaps he can kindly post a reply.

Oh my goodness! What a wonderful ending for one of the boys! I felt the tears coming back as I watched that vdo.

There was one time I all but screamed at an AA agent. In late 2010 I planned a month long trip to three countries in South America. For this I needed four business class flights to get from BKK to Buenos Aires and I knew I would not have quite enough BA miles. So on a business round-the-world trip in the summer the year before, I decided to use the mileage/sector allowances on RTW tickets to the maximum. For LHR to New York, therefore, I booked LHR to SFO, stayed on London time and overnighted using points at the airport Hyatt, was on a 6:00 am AA flight to Miami where I had allowed over two hours to connect to a flight to LGA due to arrive around 7:30pm. All went well until we were about to land at MIA. The captain announced that there was an electric storm in the area and this might result in some delay. This worried me not in the slightest, the more so when we actually landed on time. But then we were stuck on a taxiway as the airport had had to close due to lightning. No flights could land or take off. After an hour, I began to get slightly worried. After another 15 minutes and no movement, I become really concerned. But as no flights were taking off, I assumed my LGA flight would be delayed. We finally reached our gate within minutes of the take-off time for my LGA flight - but it was from a different terminal. I raced to the new gate. It had just been closed and the plane was being pushed back. I was advised to go to the lounge and see what the staff could do. I know from experience that there is no point screaming and yelling in such a situation, partly because other passengers are usually venting their anger and partly there is little these ladies can do. So when I reached the desk, I politely apologised for giving the lady another problem but I had to be in New York by lunchtime the next day. Was there anything she could possibly do? Eventually she said the only other flight to NYC was full. The earliest she could get me to LGA would be a flight via Charlotte the next day landing at 3:05 pm. Too late for my lunch. But she suggested I have a drink or two in the lounge and she would page me if anything earlier came up. Sure enough, within 20 minutes, I heard my name called. She had found a first class seat on the last flight arriving at 10:30 pm. I could have kissed her. The flight was fine, the meal even seemed quite tasty and the vodkas calmed me down. But . . . standing at the baggage carousel, half the bags arrived within about 20 minutes. The other half, including mine, did not. We waited more than an hour before an AA rep finally appeared. It turned out the lock on the aft door of the 757 had stuck and the baggage handlers could not open it! I was ready to scream! We were advised it should only take another 10 minutes or so. It took 40! Completely exhausted, I immediately grabbed a cab. When I got to the Warwick Hotel, I could barely walk to the reception desk only to be told by the young man on duty that as they had expected me to arrive several hours earlier, the hotel was full and my room had been given away - even though it had been pre-booked and pre-paid! Only then was I ready really to explode, when he told me that instead of a normal room he would put me in the Westminster Suite on the top floor for my three nights! So sometimes good things can happen after bad ones.

I suppose if it had been a slim young handsome early 20s guy, it might have changed my mind! Frankly I do not know if she was AA staff or a TSA agent. At LGA I am pretty certain American had its own wing for its own flights. But it's perfectly possible she was a TSA agent. I have no idea who controls security at each wing although I imagine there has to be at least one TSA agent around. As my trans Atlantic flights were almost always on BA, I usually arrived from Europe at JFK. When the queues for Immigration for non US citizens became horrendous (around 2 hours), I switched to Boston which was a breeze by comparison. At the JFK Customs checks, I was sometimes asked to move to a different line instead of being allowed immediately to exit the airport. Then I would either answer a few brief questions or twice had the bags searched and I was asked to switch on my laptop. It was all done quickly and pleasantly. I think this was after 9/11. If I was flying over the Pacific, it was a mix mostly of SFO, MSP and JFK all via Tokyo until Cathay Pacific started their non-stops. In the early-mid 1980s, arriving in JFK on Pan Am or Northwest's business class was great as you got a free helicopter trip from the airport to the 34th Street Terminal and back. I never stopped at MSP, merely changed aircraft and connected usually to LGA. One time I broke the trip with 3 days in Honolulu. Departing on the evening flight to MSP, I took a sleeping pill as we taxied to the runway. When I became slightly awake, I checked my watch and assumed we'd be landing within a couple of hours. Checking with the flight attendant, she told me we'd not be landing for about 5 hours! She then told me a passenger had experienced a medical emergency a couple of hours out of Honolulu and it had been decided to land the aircraft at SFO to get him quickly to a hospital. Apparently I was so 'out', they could not wake me up and so merely raised my seat. I slept through it all. Unfortunately I missed my connection and the lunch I had set up in NYC.

The Italian version is merely the original French version dubbed into Italian. Finally found it on youtube as the one posted does not work.

I have had horror stories with several airlines, including one with American at La Guardia, although it was not totally American's fault. I was booked on a round-the-world trip using One World. The ticket originated in Bangkok where I lived. All went well until the Sunday I was due to fly to LAX. With time to spare in the morning, I popped down to the Village to get a few porn DVDs (in the days when we all used them). Arriving a little late back at my hotel, instead of putting them in my large case, I just put the brown paper bag in one of the flaps of my carry-on. All went well until I went through the security check. For reasons I only found out later, the grossly obese American Airlines security lady stopped me, asked to move to one side, made me take off various pieces of clothing and then searched my carry on. This was extremely embarrassing, more because my 3 porn DVDs had been discovered and laid out on the table beside me for all other passengers to see. Realising I had no bomb or saran gas, I was informed I could carry on to my aircraft gate. In business class, I settled down to have a glass of wine and after take off a stiff vodka tonic. I then heard my name mentioned over the tannoy. I was asked to go to the entrance door along with my baggage. Great, I thought, I'm going to be upgraded to first class! But no! There were 2 American Airlines security staff waiting to escort me off the plane. What on earth is going on here, I thought? The staff were extremely polite and apologised for the inconvenience but they needed to have my bag re-checked! Soon the fat security lady waddled into view. "Hurry up," shouted one of the security guys. "We need to get this plane away from the gate." It's in the flap at the front, she puffed. It turned out she had moral objections to my having gay DVDs in my bag. The security staff almost had a fit. You're an idiot, is virtually what they shouted at her. Get back to your station! They they apologised profusely for my inconvenience and embarrassment. They asked for my name, address and other personal details. I assume this was so that a letter of apology could later be sent to me as that lady had probably violated my rights. I just wanted to get to LAX where I had dinner booked with an old friend. So I thanked the security guys and said all I wanted to do was get back on the 767. Once on board, the purser came up and apologised on behalf of the airline. He also gave me a bottle of wine from first class (although no upgrade!) Throughout the flight I wondered why I had been selected for a major search when that had never happened to me before in millions of miles of travel. It was only much later when checking my boarding passes and going through my mileage statement that I noticed three large letters 'SSS'. I had no idea what this meant, so I asked a friend who worked for Cathay Pacific. He told me that meant 'Special Security Screening'. He assumed it was because my ticket originated in Bangkok and I should be checked for drugs! Yet in several other flights within the USA in folowing years, I never noticed those 'SSS' letters again!

Part of this scandal is the time it takes for a British national to obtain a new passport. It was not that long ago that all one needed to do was amble up to Witthayu, enter the Consulate, provide the dying passport and the application form. The existing passport would be cancelled, you'd receive a form in case you were stopped by the Thai police for not carrying a passport, and within four days the new passport would be ready. Then, just as I was preparing to apply for a new passport, I learned that applications in East Asia for almost all new passports would be handled by the Hong Kong Consulate. So I waited until I was next due in Hong Kong, went to the Consulate only to be informed that a decision had just been made that all passports would be handled directly from the UK and a new office in Liverpool! Obtaining a new passport from the UK was supposed to take merely a few weeks. But since the Liverpool office has to handle all new passports and renewals, in the early Spring after it opened it was inundated with applications for new passports from Brits requiring them for their summer vacations. End result? A large number of Brits could not get the passports in time and missed their hollidays. For those overseas, the application procedure skyrocketed to around 12 weeks. And although the Liverpool office procedures have been streamlined, those applying for passports in Thailand are still advised to allow 12 weeks. With the UK Consulate no longer involved, all passport applications in Bangkok are processed by a third party based in the Trendy Building on Sukhumvit 13. No other party is permitted to handle passport appications. But then some bright spark realised that dying passports could not be cancelled on site and sent back to the UK prior to new ones being issued, for in Thailand it is the law that passports be carried at all times by foreigners. So, in the absence of an official UK government form, applicants thereafter had to make colour photocopies of every single page of the old passport and hand them in along with the all the other forms. They could then hold on to the old passports. The most difficult issue for those with travel coming up or who travel regularly, once your passport page copies have been handed over, you can no longer use the physical passport you are now allowed to hang on to for travel outside Thailand. To all intents and purposes it is dead and you have to wait months for the new one. Then another bright spark found a way to make more money. Those applicants can apply for a temporary passport! In addition to a load of additional paperwork, this will cost £115. And that will not be deducted from the cost of the new passport so your total bill for the larger passport will be £253.51 (plus up to £15 for colour photocopying of all the passport pages). Worse, the temporary passport is only valid for countries that do not require visas for British citizens. Finally, you have to pay for the new passport and the courier service to deliver it back to you in advance. Try using a Thai bank issued debit card and the chances are high payment will eventually be rejected. So if you have one, use a UK debit card or a generally accepted credit card. Better still, if you happen to be in the UK, book an appointment at the Passport Office in either London or Glasgow and hope that you can use the one-week fast track service. It worked for me!

Ah, the banana! Of great interest to readers here, although not the yellow, slightly rotted ones! That particular banana was featured in Art Basel in Miami Beach in 2019 and did indeed sell for $120,000. Only there were in fact three bananas! The conceptual artist Maurizio Cattelan who came up with the idea called the work Comedian. Pretty appropriate I guess since you'd have to be something of a comedian to lash out $120K for that piece of crap . . . err.. art! In fact, though, Comedian was so successful there were two other buyers. The second buyer paid the same price. By the time the third came along, the price had gone up to $150K. Apparently, according to some sort of connoisseur, when you buy it you are not buying a piece of art; you are buying an idea. One visitor to the Exhibition liked the work so much, he literally ate the banana. Took it off the 'artwork', peeled it and ate it. That visitor was in fact a performance artist, David Tatuna. “Art performance by me. I love Maurizio Cattelan artwork and I really love this installation. It’s very delicious.” Asked how it tasted, he explained, "Like $120K!" The gallery merely replaced the now eaten banana with another, and no one seemed to know the difference. And isn't that the good thing about a work like Comedian? Once it rots, you merely replace it with another. So inexpensive. Will the three that were sold rise even further in value? Ah, now there is the question. How long is a piece of string? And how much crap in a piece of shit? https://www.vogue.com/article/the-120000-art-basel-banana-explained-maurizio-cattelan