caeron

I voted sometimes, but the answer is almost never. Even if somebody calls me a faggot, I just think "The only reason you're that hung up is because you secretly want to suck cock."

I hate when movies use these gimmicks instead of good writing and real drama. Sometimes I can switch the brain off when I watch a movie, but mostly these gimmicks stop my suspension of disbelief and I'm staring at the screen thinking, "Really?" Creating false drama because you can't be bothered to write it/direct it in a way that generates real drama is lazy film making. But Hollywood does love to pat itself on the back...

No, judgmental is the word when a young kid presumes his understanding of the world is universal, rather than one small, flawed perspective.

Wow. So judgmental. I have to agree with Lucky. You have issues.

>>. But experience has taught me that genuinely masculine gay men are extremely rare I think the reason you provoke a negative reaction from people is because statements like this sound very judgmental. Using the term 'masculine' can be a useful shortcut, but the term is more than a bit loaded. Gay man have been attacked for a long time for being effeminate and not real men. A lot of us react to these comments negatively. We can start off with the obvious, what is masculinity? That is personally and culturally defined. There is no one definitive answer. Then you add 'genuine' implying that there is a 'fake' masculinity, or at least "one true" masculinity that most of us haven't got. We could further debate, but I doubt many are interested, the underlying sexism of homophobia and the masculine/effeminate split. I would suggest rather than making it sound a bit like all gay men are failures as men (not masculine enough), that you say that you are only attracted to a few men who have a specific aura of masculinity that attracts you. Then you're talking about your particular sexuality and it doesn't sound like you're judging the rest of the gay world for failing to be butch enough to get you hard.

As a further point, offering money to a woman makes her a whore, which has a much different context culturally than offering it to a man, so while they may be offended, it probably won't be because of the money....

I'm not one to try this either, but I've heard that if you have the balls for it, blunt works best. Ask them if they're interested in earning a bit of extra money, then smile. Playing coy is a great way to spend a lot of time to reach the same answer...

Tim is just a frustrated bottom.

I suspect he was conflicted about what he wanted, and too hung up to talk. It sounds like you were more gracious than you needed to be.

Kate signed up to be the royal blow up doll. I can't have a lot of sympathy for her dealing with the stuff that comes with the territory. I don't think I could stand being a royal brood mare, well, maybe if harry asked me but the job description is "Be elegant and pretty. Do nothing embarrassing. Make babies."

Bwahahaha. That's awesome.

No disrespect intended, but I can't believe in the magical man in the sky. As a philospher, I can respect jesus, or at least the words ascribed to him. But I reject religion because it's pure superstitious hooey. Why not believe buddhism, and that we all reincarnate. Or Hinduism? Or Shamanism? Or believe in Apollo and Zeus? The idea of believing in Zeus now seems pretty damn silly, but yet God doesn't? I just don't get that at all. They're just the same thing. There is zero evidence of the divine that I can tell. People believe because they want to believe. It is far more comforting to think that God's hand is on the tiller and all will be right in the end. It is scary to believe that when we die, that's just the end. But wishing something were true doesn't make it true. I wish I were a billionaire who would live forever. I'm not, and I won't.

Despite my fantasy, I do the same. Escorts claiming to be straight may well be, I don't care. But what it usually means is that they won't do a ton of stuff and cop a lot of attitude. I'm not paying for that. I imagine I've hired straight guys in Thailand, but if they performed what I asked, I didn't care. I'm sure when I eventually get to brazil I'll feel the same.

You're hardly alone. I like sexually dominant guys too. The idea of being some straight jock's bitch is hot. However, fantasy and reality aren't the same thing, and I learned to broaden my taste and give my imagination more free run in the bedroom. So if the guy I have isn't exactly what I want, I can still enjoy myself. But my tastes are finicky enough that I hire because I don't want to sleep with anybody who wants to sleep with me! I wish you luck. I think you'll spend a lot of time frustrated though. Straight guys are straight because they like pussy, and no matter how much you tuck, you're still not fish!

My personal experience is that trying to figure out what makes other people do crazy things is a sure recipe to go crazy yourself. You can't control other people, and sometimes they do things that just make no sense. The thing that you can control is how you respond to other people and their insanity. There may well be no magic thing you can do to make this guy like you and interact with you in the way that you want. Because really, isn't that what you're asking? Not so much to understand him as the key that will get him to behave the way you want him to? It is incredibly hard when you're emotionally/hormonally engaged to step back and realize that you have zero control over the other person. That there is probably _nothing_ you can do to get them to respond to you the way you want them to... But if you can make that hard step, then it can be incredibly freeing. You stop trying to perform some miracle, and just be yourself and let it happen or not as it will. In my 20s (more than a few years past!), I was a bit of a control freak and I thought somehow if I just figured out what to do or say to a guy I liked that I could get them to like me. I was sure that it was in my power to win any guy I liked over to me. It was a hard lesson to realize that that just wasn't the case. Good luck, but from what you've described, you don't have what this guy wants now. Maybe it's insane amounts of cash. Maybe he's got internalized homophobia and now has guilt about enjoying time with you so is pushing you away. Maybe you smell funny (joking!). The point is that the list of maybes goes on pretty much forever and you can't control most of them. So stop trying. So, I'd just leave him be. Maybe he'll come back around, maybe he won't. You can't control that. But _trying_ to control that will just make you crazy so don't.... My .02, anyway.

Good riddance, but I seriously doubt the next one will be any better.

While magical things can happen between an escort and a client, for every one that does, there are a thousand stories of poor fools being taken in by handsome young hustlers. I very seriously doubt you're one of the lucky rare ones... Who knows what happened to the money you gave him? Maybe he spent it on drugs, maybe he bought clothes and toys, maybe he just put it in the bank and lied to you and said he spent it all so you'd give him more. So far, his strategy of telling you he needs money seems to be working since when he asks, you give it to him. He was working in a bar where he exchanges his sexual favors for your money. It wasn't you he wanted, it was your cash. He may be a nice guy, he may like you, but don't mistake the nature of the relationship. If you stopped paying your mechanic, even if you liked each other, he'd stop helping you. I think the problem is that lots of us who hire have an emotional need that escorts can fill. That's ok as long as we're very honest with ourselves about that. If we aren't, then we can fool ourselves into believing that the escort's act is real. It isn't. I think you're letting your emotions cloud your judgment. It has happened to all of us at one time or another. But step back and examine the escort's behavior dispassionately. It sure looks to me like he's taking you for your money and doesn't give a damn about you. Either that, or he's a complete train wreck and you are better off staying well away. If he's into drugs and trouble, you aren't going to save him. The only person who can save him is himself. Good Luck.

I'm sorry, but I think this perspective is wrong. If somebody said, "I don't serve niggers at my diner," we'd all think that was wrong. This is the same thing. If you open a business, you have an obligation to the community and to the law to serve people. If your religion precludes you from following that law, then you need to get into another line of work where you can be a bigot and not break the law.

Thanks for this. It reminded me how far we've come over the years. When I hear about kids coming out in junior high school it just blows me away. Those who came before me did great work, and I'm gratified that me and my generation pushed the line even more. I think it's just a matter of time before gay marriage crosses the country and then, maybe, a new generation will arise that realizes that love is good, however it is expressed.

I hope so. I was a boy scout back in the day before it went religious crazy and I enjoyed my time. Now, I can't support them.

My only hesitation is that I think the "Not for me." is really not a score at all. So if you can opt out of scoring for whatever reason, any scale works for me.

When I start contemplating what crimes I would commit to get the man into bed with me, that qualifies as stunningly handsome.

I'm too old to bareback. I'm old enough to remember the time before HIV, and I barebacked then. Then the plague came and I watched lots of people die and my community get decimated. I was lucky that I was a bit picky and hung up, or I may well not have lived through that time. I'm really, really happy that we've made such great progress treating this horrific disease, but it isn't the common cold. If the medicines don't work for you, or the virus mutates, you die. I can't be flippant about this disease. I hope we find a full cure soon, because so many young in our community are picking up a loaded gun and playing with it when they practice unsafe sex. Sure, it's their choice, but so is playing russian roulette. It's a bad, bad choice to make.

Dorothy Parker is a real treasure trove of great lines: “Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.” ― Dorothy Parker

This is typical stupidity of small town government. You can't regulate these things at this level. If people don't want to do it, they'll just move. So all you do is annoy the companies and damage your economy.