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I got kicked out of my last job for the criminal offence of being gay, though a great lawyer friend fought for me for free and got me a whole year's salary to go quietly. I was 53 when I gave up looking for another job, took my small pension, sold my lovely flat which still had a big mortgage on it, and moved to live in Thailand, and that was eleven years ago. Since the UK pound is so weak my income is a lot worse now, but life is still fine. I live alone, pay for sex when I want it, enjoy some good food, swim every day for exercise, have a few good friends. Not a bad life, if not exactly what I had planned.

you need seriously start thinking about increasing your alcohol intake and consider fine spirits only as cheap beer tend to lead to depression

Maybe it's time to stop worrying about what others may think - unless you want your life to continue being unhappy. If it were me and I came out to my friends, but they refuse to understand, then I'd say they were never real friends in the first place. If that happens, why not just drop them and move on to the life you really want. That's what I did and I've never regretted it. Some understood and we remain friends to this day. Others, to hell with them. I would do it again without hesitation. I hope you'll do the same.

You would have to know the exact time of your death to do a countdown. I am not quite "senior" yet. My dad died at 81. My mom is still kicking at 83. Neither of them in great shape in their latter years though. So I expect that as long as I don't get hit by a bus I should make it well into my 80s or 90s. My current plan is to retire at 60. According to my financial planner's calculations my money should well outlast me. So that's all good news. My current plan is to devote myself to getting into as good of a physical condition as I can in retirement when I will have plenty of free time. I am glad that I've been traveling quite a lot over the past 30 years. Doing it while I was young enough to really enjoy it was a good thing. But it's a big world out there so I expect to keep traveling as long as it's possible. Of course who knows what the state of the world is going to be over the next 40 years. So I guess enjoying things while you still can is wise. There's a YouTube channel I watch from time to time called notime2bsad. The creator is an American guy who documents his daily life with his Thai wife, family and friends. It's a nice slice of life and it's always enjoyable to see Thailand. They live in Isaan but travel around a lot. He retired relatively young. As a military veteran I presume he gets a pretty good pension which I am sure helps. His whole ethos is to not worry about the things you can't control and enjoy your life. I don't agree with him on some things (I believe he's fairly conservative) but his overall philosophy is a good one. Personally I find it impossible to ignore all of the things happening in the world and feel like burying your head in the sand might be good for you on a personal level, but it's not great for the world at large. But I agree that a positive attitude is essential. Nobody wants to be a nasty old curmudgeon.

Whenever I feel fatigue I start thinking about next Thai trip or indeed , next any trip and immediately get energized. As for diet I never pay any attention to what I eat other than listening to my body - if I felt something is not serving me well I reduced or cut it off, fortunately are very few things eliminated , mostly seafood. Main change as I got older is that my hair become grey, then silver and now it's white which even shocks my sister. But as always i look at full half of glass - I still have most of my hair, yahooo ! Beautiful feeling that I don't need to work ( I still do though out of greed I guess ) and listen to corporate crap is another bright spot in aging. In fact there are very few things I feel I must do and even those , like contributing to this forum are rather easy on me.

During my trip to BKK in June/July, I went to a host bar called Changsha Chill. I threw a private party with a bunch of guys there. The owner was nice enough to have one of the guys pick me up from my hotel. Granted he was late, but he was handsome and charming, so I didn't let it bother me too much. At the party, he was having a good time as we all were, though some of the guys felt a bit awkward being in their underwear, including the driver guy. Thankfully alcohol made everyone a lot more comfortable as the night went on. The next day, I reached out to the guy who picked me up and asked if he would be up for meeting at my hotel. I had actually read about him in this forum and wanted to experience what I read for myself. When he arrived, the best way I could describe him was tweaked out, as if he had been using drugs. I'm not around people who use drugs much, so I couldn't tell for sure, but I knew something wasn't right with the guy. It could also have just been intense nervous energy. Unfortunately the encounter didn't go great, but he was kind the whole time and I honestly just liked his company as he had lived in Australia and had a high level of English. I never talked to him after the encounter. Fast forward to just a few minutes ago, and I found out on the bar's Twitter that he has passed away. I don't know why I feel so sad about it because I know he wasn't a good friend of mine or anything, but I thought I could at least share here in case anyone has ever experienced something like this. I don't really have anyone IRL that I could talk to about this. I wish I would have given him a big hug when he left my hotel that day or that we had just talked more.

For those of you over 60 as a gay man how is your lifestyle now? Obviously your life goals change as you get older over 75 etc when your lifespan becomes around 5-7 years left ? Are you living life to the fullest ,travel,sex etc I ask this because I realised as we get older there is a countdown to life Some of us may prefer to be retired ,others to work full or part time . Others to be unfit ,others to go to the gym But the question is ,are you wasting your next years left ? I don't know how to define the term wasting your life because my late mother preferred to stay home and read books and watch inspector Frost reruns whilst my father done gardening everyday so everyone is different To me I'm planning the countdown to death ,some days I don't have the motivation even for sex though . But I'm not one now to waste time working continually for money my goal this year starting from October 1st to December 31 is to suck as many cocks , and be fucked . Im changing my attitude goal , and starting to think positive instead of negative, in the last few days walking to the shopping areas in my area I noticed African guys looking at me whilst walking past , unfortunately I didn't stop and talk to them kept walking,my ass was aching afterwards dreaming of the African dick I could of had , I told a friend later in the cafe about both days I had African guys looking at me and how my butt was aching thinking about them and my regret and not stopping to talk to them, unfortunately he is a old negative man who told me he didnt think they were looking for sex but talked negative ,I will avoid talking subjects like that with him in future Secondary I'm not going to allow "drama" into my life ,we all won't be here in 30 years time ,stop letting little things concern you ,get out there and enjoy what you have left ! I plan to grow old disgracefully wbu ?

Although I'm not aware that anyone I met in Thailand has taken their own life, a good friend I worked with for many years did. We stopped for a beer after work one night and he told me he was on the verge of divorce. He was visibly shaken. I just tried to listen and say what I thought was reassuring. I still recall standing outside the bar, thinking about embracing him before we parted. But I didn't. Five days later he was found dead from self-inflicted wounds. As I look back on it I realize that I should have followed my gut instinct and hugged him. I'm not saying that if I did he wouldn't have killed himself. What I am saying is that I still ask myself why I didn't. It is--as some have said--what we don't do that can haunt us the most.

Well that's one thing also as I get older and as we all get older .....we should pay no attention to what others think, hard to do though 🤣 But if most of us have less than 20 years left give or take,should we stop worrying about what others think? I recall GB had a quote once about this,can't recall it now though ,(must be the dementia setting in😂) Should we as older gay men be able to hold hands with our (mostly ) younger boyfriends in the street , should we be able to travel together in cruises without being concerned about what others think ? Yes as getting older I'm becoming less concerned what others think and that maybe a positive change Even I'm trying not to judge younger people I see , I live in a predominantly gay area so every weekend night we gets hordes of young gay people in my area including many Asians who like to let their hair down screaming laughing out loud etc I was walking with a older gay friend last Friday night coming back from a restaurant and he started judging them, "look at these young people being so loud " he said "Oh shut the Fuck up ! I retorted back , " I remember you were much wilder in the 1980's getting high in the gay nightclub toilets to the Boy George & Trio music ! That soon shut him up 🤣

In Thailand I know a few that have died. One recently that used to message me occasionally and I knew he was the suicidal type, and that's how he died. I'm sad, but not surprised. In life, drugs have taken many friends as well as suicide. Some had warning signs....some, no idea what was going on in their head. Before I couldn't fathom how someone could kill themselves....these days, I kind of understand. It's not something that someone wakes up one day and suddenly decides to do it.....it's demos they've dealt with or something they have thought about for some time. I see friends that I've known since childhood, but don't recognize them because of the drugs they've been doing, it's very sad. I feel fortunate that I never fell into doing drugs....other vices are enough without having drugs involved. Everyone is responsible for their own path they take, drugs is an escape for some...and most don't realize that that escape could become permanent. I try to lecture, without lecturing when I run into a drug user, whether they are using at the moment or not. Usually falls on deaf ears....sadly.

You still talking about wine, or did it drift into sexual territory......😳 it's 2022...most hetero guys don't care, might have other gay friends. I have lot's of straight friends that know I'm gay, as long as you don't go into detail about sex, they're generally cool with everything. And if they aren't....they weren't really your friends. Gays can be more judgmental than straights....not to mention catty and dramatic, lol

Similar case to @floridarob , when I was in my teens an elderly and very glamorous friend of my parents told me that the only regrets in life are the things you didn't do. She appeared to have it all, still stylish approaching 80, in demand at social events, wealth. She had never married because the man she loved had not been good enough for her in her family's eyes and unable to marry the man she wanted without being cut off from the family money, she devoted her life to being an ornament on the social circuit. As she approached 80 it was a decision she very much regretted. Her advice to me was very clear: you have one shot at life, live it for who you are and want to be, don't live it to conform to the expectations of others. Buying a condo in Pattaya suggests to me that you have attempted to start a new life. Why not make a second attempt? Buy a condo somewhere else, away from you new 'hetro friends', and start over with a plan, a clearer vision and determination of who you want to be, who you want your friends to be and what you want to experience in the next phase of your life.

you still better than me , Edith Piaff is my favorite to this day and I'm known when happy to be singing "Lili Marlene" in fake German

Part 10: Last evening in Bangkok (for now...) Yesterday was my last evening in Bangkok. I will go travels around Thailand now for a few week (up north, Pattaya, Phuket...) and will be back on Bangkok on September 23 for 5 more night before I fly home. The evening didn't start well... It was raining hard, the roads flooded. And the hourly forecast didn't look good either. But after about 1hr the rain stopped and it was "safe" to head out to the bars. I had some unfinished business to take care of before leaving Bangkok tomorrow... First of all there is the guy on Grindr who is for days already stalking me. He works in Freshboys. Don't wanna just ignore or block him because I want to be able to go to Freshboys again without "losing face". He looks nice and sweet, not sure if he will be my type in real life. So didn't want to invite him to my room without seeing him in the bar first. But he kept trying. Even on his day off. Decided to go for a drink in Freshboys first and buying the boy a drink too. So at least I've shown him my good heart. Lol Gave him besides a drink an extra 100 baht bill and told him I had to leave to Tawan because I needed to show my friend that place. Which was actually true as I met up with another solo traveler and we agreed to go to Freshboys en Tawan together that night. Because of the rain, the steps at Freshboys was wet and slippery. The guy I was with slipped and felt down, taking me with him in his fall as I was walking in front of him. I had a soft landing, on top of him. He took a harder hit on the concrete stairs. But was also fine. Thank god. He was even laughing saying that cracked his back without having to pay for a massage... But let this be a warning whenever around in rain: stairs can be slippery! We arrived at Tawan around 11pm. The show didn't start yet. When we looked around we found out why: we were the only customers... All the rest (around 20 boys again, same like the day before) were Tawan staff. We had our drinks, talked to the (I suppose) manager and I off course invited 6pack guy (see report part 8 in this post about one day earlier in Tawan) to come and sit with me. "I take care of you tonight?" he asked. Oh yes you can! Understandable, with no other customers in the bar, Tawan decided not to have a show that night. I was entertained by 6pack guy who took my hands and placed them all over his muscles body so I could feel everything... He was placing his own hand on my shorts while feeling what was hidden inside... This is even better than the show. Lol No show this night, only guys doing some posing on stage like in this picture from Tawan twitter account. In the meantime I had some conversation with the guy I was with. He decided to move on to soi 4 to see if, despite the heavy rain earlier, things were happening there. And I took 6pack guy back to Tarntawan. 2500 for the boy, 500 for the bar. More expensive than the average off fee in the boybars. But I wanted to have a Tawan expierence... And it turned out better than expected. One day earlier when I also was in Tawan, 6pack guy already told me "everything" is possible, except that he doesn't want to get fucked. He spoke good English so I had no reason to think things went lost in translation. Possibilities from his side and expectations from mine were clear. He had to leave his id card at reception of the hotel. In my room the muscle worshipping that started in the bar continued. And as promised he kissed, sucked my dick... And even more: he licked my balls and ass. Was very nice to feel his tongue go there... After this all came to a (my) climax, 6pack guy gave me a short mini massage. I felt his strong hands over my body and feet. After 6pack guy left, hotel reception called me to check everything was oke before they gave his id card back. To be honest, I didn't expect much from a Tawan guy. I was thinking maximum you could get was touching his muscles and sucking HIS cock. The expierence I had with 6pack guy was so much better than that...! Let's see what adventures the rest of Thailand will have for me in the next weeks...

I also love many wines, red, white and rose and would find life more difficult if I could not have some nice wine regularly from time to time. Unlike @kokopelli 2, though, I love a really good sweet wine at the end of a meal. Although I get to drink it only rarely, a glass or two (they're small for sweet wines) of Chateau d'Yquem is a small miracle. The rich taste of so many honeyed tropical and other fruits in one's mouth and an aftertaste with roasted nuts that lasts at least five minutes. One of life's glories!

I think the vast majority of people don't think about you at all. That is to say if you're out with some cute Thai boy most of the people you encounter won't care because they have their own lives to worry about. Maybe some will give you the side eye, but you'll never see them again so who cares what they think? I don't say it to criticize but you might want to consider therapy to help you get over all of these internalized issues. It couldn't hurt and quite likely would help you a great deal. You may also have undiagnosed depression or other mental health issues that can be treated either with medication or other therapy.

I get blow jobs in the public, never worried about what others think.

No need to hyperventilate. Take your Facebook U credentials to Twitter rants. LOL My figures are correct based on MSM population share denominators and duration of case transmissibility. You seem to be manufacturing testing and reported:true incidence data to make a point regarding your subjective take on the gravity of the situation and to project hysteria on another’s simple rendering of objective facts that would undermine a vacation if simple bad luck were to occur, a trip that is postponable, at a fairly definable degree of probability in the context of commercial sex trade in particular, that sex tourism mode additionally located in the sleazy person-congested indoor settings we have grown to love. There is nothing you can teach me about Infectious Diseases that I don’t already grasp. I have actually written nothing on this forum about Monkeypox morbidity and mortality. I have myself pointed out the substantial drop from peak case incidence in Spain. Yes it is correct that, for example, in Spain MVA-BN uptake at merely about 5% the target susceptible MSM subpopulation has been followed by a steep case incidence decline evidently heading to its first nadir. To what extent shifts in occurrence are attributable to vaccination, pathogen self-limiting factors, etc, are unclear. There is nothing overreactive about aiming to strategize one’s timing of trips to hopefully coincide with lowered disease risk according to infection prevalence trends that are usefully available according to public health surveillance over time. That is simply an additional slice of Swiss cheese added to the stack that includes other tried and true behavioural risk mitigation measures at our disposal, aiming to prevent a seeping through of a mishap that ruins a trip. I caught dengue in Brazil. It destroyed a pricey vacation. The transmission chances are very low. I return repeatedly. If 1 in 100 mosquitoes bites in Rio de Janeiro were to be accompanied by a fair probability of gifting dengue in spite of common sense attempts to reduce exposure, if it could actually be reasonably quantified, it would give pause.

Pretty much sums it up....

Of course there is a countdown to life. But none of us really know when that will be unless we have an untreatable illness. Why do you assume that lifespan will end at 82 - 84. For many it will, but for others it won't. I would hate to live feeliing that I had to pack everything into life before I am 84. One day I will not be alive. I'll leave it to fate to decide when that will be. The main thing for me is that I have wills and executors and know that whatever I leave will go to those I wish to have it. Am I living life to the fullest? The answer is definitely yes. I am well over 60. Having retired from my main job, I still work part-time as I have always loved the work I do and cannot imagine life without some involvement in it. Prior to covid, I travelled quite extensively and will definitely continue to do so as barriers to travel break down. I already have four trips planned and tickets booked for one. Again, I cannot imagine life without travel to those places I enjoy and meeting the friends I have made there. The one limiting factor may be travel insurance as I gave up my annual policy 3 years ago. But one of my credit cards offers good travel insurance on a per trip basis which is fine for me. As for sex, I have a partner and am very happy in Bangkok. It is some years since I was a regular at gay venues. On my trips, though, if my partner can not join me because of his job, I have more freedom to meet guys if I wish. I do and have rarely had a problem meeting up with nice guys. My partner and I discussed this and he is not concerned about it. But I always tell him about my adventures on my return. We go out to various types of restaurant quite regularly and enjoy meeting up with our friends (who are mostly gay). The thought that I might have to countdown to a definite ending date horrifies me!

Not really. CNN has consistently, for many years now, contracted with and paid spokespersons/supporters of the various Presidents to appear and present their viewpoint. No other network does this. It's not something new. CNN has been consistent in offering "both sides" in those panel discussions.

Try to enjoy life to the full. Don't dwell on the past or worry about the future. Now is the only time that matters. Op says: "my goal this year starting from October 1st to December 31 is to suck as many cocks , and be fucked ". Start now not October...u know what to do next time u come across African guys... U say usually u don't drink. Many guys do not drink or smoke but are happy when they get fucked multiple times bare-backed. Good luck to them! Remember the saying: "Enjoy yout life, or die trying" 😄

Is it Christmas in Australia?

I don't understand what is the problem if visiting alone in Thailand you can cruise the gay bars and the apps fuck whoever you wants and nobody care if you are straight or gay and no one will know what you did or didn't do at Thailand.

I love good wine as do many of my friends, but not sweet wines!

Reminds me of how I felt last week when the US gov't suddenly announced our life expectancy had dropped by several years the past year. To under what I currently am ! Then I remembered life expectancy goes by your current age. But it was a hell of a headline to see with morning coffee, ie: that the jar of marmalade in front of you has a longer expiration date than you do.

Comparing monkeypox to HIV is indeed scare mongering.

Great point about still working as we age , how many older gay men on here still working, especially in jobs they don't like? I think once past 65 don't waste your life ,go out and enjoy it and spend it . Are you all working only for the $$$ or is it lonileness? There guys at my workplace who are in that 70's always talking about retirement loaded up with $$$ but will never retire as work is their family & social life . They will die wasting their life .

True 🤣 But do it cautiously,there's a lot of weirdos out there . I probably wouldn't walk through say Soi Buckhao late at night holding hands with a youngish looking 18yo boy though😊

Going by the YouTube vid it looks very busy I was going to say it looks like a younger gay farang crowd into dancing techno music etc ,but myself living now with the motto "Grow old disgracefully" I think they wouldn't mind a old daddy dancing with them !😂 But the music they play may bore me after awhile,I prefer 1980's anyday ,give me the Communards , Duran Duran , Boy George ,Pet Shop boys , Erasure ,but I guess the younger gay farangs may never have heard of them ! Oh well 👍 Hate to see their reaction if they take requests and i shout out "Wild boys from Duran Duran !! And the crowd look at each other ...WTF ? Who the F are Duran Duran ? 😳😳

Is mosaik still going? I didn't look last time I was there although I must of walked past it as I went to talk to the "indian" owner at Salt N Pepper cafe and look and listen to him ( 2 hours😳) talk about Abraham Lincoln history and his wooden train carriages that he makes . Next time you guys are in that area pop into Salt & pepper and talk about Abraham Lincoln to the owner 😂 and trains You will be there for hours 😂

Lol, 🤣my Filipino boyfriend Marc put the Xmas tree up yesterday He said they do that in the Philippines this early 😳, and wrapped empty boxes as presents underneath ,oh I just let him do it 😊👍

The area around VC and Beverly caters mostly to Indian and Arabic tourists. The area closer to Sunee moreso Arabic and the area closer to the western (pier) end of Walking St is more focused on Indian tourists. If you're looking for somewhere close to Sunee, I liked Mosaik serviced apartments behind Tukcom. I suspect the hotels in Boystown might be a better fit if you plan to spend more time there.

I had the smallpox vaccine several times during my school life and military service back in Argentina. This coming Sunday, I have my appointment to get my first monkeypox vaccine shot. It was super easy to get it here in DC. I am horny and, as in DC the infection rate is high, I am abstinent. I can't wait. I can't wait either for my next trip, in November. Once fully vaccinated, I will start purchasing tickets and making reservations. I am still struggling between Rio and Medellin, but Rio is winning.

After going to Thailand from the UK some 4 times a year for 6 years I thought seriously about moving there. Maybe to Jomtien. The holiday lifestyle reduces the pain from a health condition so I was tempted. What stopped me was the reality of losing the NHS as I get older and knowing that what I can afford to do on holiday would not be possible all year round if I was there. As long as I can, I will go 4 times a year to the region, as I like Vietnam too.

A friend of mine stayed there many years ago. Good if you like Curry! Most of the customers who were staying there ate a lot of curry!

correct, out of mercy for other, uninterested readers

When I met my partner we agreed that it was crucial that we knew we could live together and be happy and that we couldn't judge that from my 2/3 week holidays to Thailand. Hence he came to England to stay with me for four months initially and then for almost two years during which we had a UK Civil Partnership ceremony. (His mother had passed away 4 months before his first visit, he wouldn't have come while she was ill) To backup floridarob's post at the end of his first visit he wanted to go to pray at the nearest Thai temple (about 30 miles from my home) while there he was talking to a lady cleaning the temple who gave him phone numbers for some Thai ladies who lived in my home town. As he was returning to Thailand in a couple of days he didn't contact anyone until he returned for his second visit. The result was he met a circle of about 15 Thai ladies who he would meet weekly for food, drinks parties etc, his visa allowed him to work and through their introductions he got a couple of part time jobs, which although low paid (minimum wage) made him feel very wealthy) He is very friendly and easy going which along with being a good cook of Thai food meant he slotted in with the Thai ladies very quickly.

No, and Thailand isn't Pattaya. Nor Bangkok. I couldn't live where P does- quite happily- in a farming community with a 7 11 a local market, a temple and nothing else. Even the internet is refractory. And I know , were I to turn this around, P that wouldn't be happy here. His family and his dogs would be far away. As would his friends. And speakers of Thai. The things I love -Chelsea Football Club, classical music and so on- aren't for him. At his age (nearly forty) how easy would it it be to find a new Thai-speaking friend? My company alone isn't that good! Oddly enough, there is a beautiful Thai temple ten miles away in Wimbledon (near the tennis centre). He'd like that! Anyway, we've talked about both possibilities ad nauseam and as long as I'm lucky enough to be to jump on a plane and arrive fifteen hours later in BKK, and he has the means to leave his farm in the hands of his family to join me, why pursue it?

some of rooms there have kind of thick glass panels , not really window but still letting in some daylight. I actually liked their well organized rooms with ample desk/ table space running width of the whole room. Some of cheap hotel have their use for me when arriving late or departing late evening / early in the morning. Paying full rate for very reduced room use doesn't make any sense for me so if my flights land say at 3 am or depart at midnight I book for first and last night or two room in one of those cheapies. this way even for half day I still have bed and shower. For me best options in Silom area are Raya, Baan Silom soi 3 and Furama Xclusive Sathorn. I did not try yet new arrivals 56 Suriwong and Ibis Silom. Quarter Silom is excellent but rooms too small for a price so I rather walk to bars from more roomy places

That was true in July too. Credit to Hotmale. If only more bars followed that example. By the way, did you pay 350 baht or 400 baht for your first drink there? They certainly have, but the role of shows in the bars' business model has changed to dominate the business objective. This makes the boy hunter feel neglected. His interests are not well served. But first, we need to distinguish three types of shows: They are (a) live porn, (b) fancy dancing by boys (or, more often than not, hopelessly amateurish attempts at fancy dancing), and (c) fake singing by fake women (I think someone will rap me for being politically incorrect). Live porn and some degree of fancy dancing goes well with a boyticeria; it complements the business well, since it interests the same kind of customer, heightens the erotic quotient in the bar and lengthens the time he stays in the bar. Fancy dancing should not dominate the show programme otherwise the programme starts to slip into non-erotic mode. Fake singing by fake women is actually counter-productive for boyticerias. Customers aren't in the bars to watch women, real of fake, why waste their time demanding that they watch? The ladyboys tend to be overdressed and the performances are more like cabaret. The nett effect is to lower the erotic quotient, replacing it with bright lights, voluminous costumes and deafening volume. My memory from the days of Twilight and Barbiery in the 1990s was that live porn dominated their show programmes. There were some numbers by fake women, but not enough to seriously alter the tone of the bar. Then Extreme Bar came along (Soi Twilight, early 2000s?) and they introduced fancy dancing. They did not flash anything from under the belt in the entire programme and within a couple of years, the bar went out of business. But the damage was done. The other bars began to "improve" their shows. More fancy dancing, usually with real dancers brought in for the evening to do 2 or 3 numbers (nowadays we still see that in the "B-Boys" break dance numbers), and when bars needed to fill an hour-long programme, more diva items were added. Then, from 2005, Thailand saw huge increases in visitors from Asian countries and Russia. What happened next to the business model of the bars and to pricing is described in my latest post 15 years of price rises. These new visitors to Thailand, while middle-class enough to travel, weren't big spenders like Westerners. Offing boys might have been too costly for most of them. In any case, as I wrote: 6 - 7 years later, these Asian tourists were no longer surging into the Soi Twilight bars. My blogpost tries to explain why. But more damage had been done. Firstly, the shows had been bulked up; they were now too long in duration and too heavy with gatoeys (ladyboys) and secondly, drink prices had gone up to levels that were off-putting for customers who were primarily interested in the available boys and booking one of them out. Worse, as @emiel1981 also noticed, the book-able boys are mostly hidden away during the show. In short: Shows in the form of short bursts of live porn add value to the bars businesses; shows in the form of hour-long wanna-be cabaret subtract value.

that's the whole idea of bus tours, do you remember movie " If it's Tuesday we are in Belgium" ?

you are right, it's why is so hard to get one. Sometimes on Silom or Suriowong I need to wait whole 37 seconds before one appears

With all respect, taxis certainly do not crowd the streets of BKK. Trucks are banned in the city until about 9:00 pm. So in the daytime most of the traffic consists of private cars. The number of private cars I see with just the driver - or a passenger plus the family driver - inside is vastly greater than all other vehicles. The problem with Bangkok's streets is largely twofoold. When the city started expanding, it filled in most of the city's klongs. Most klongs were quite wide, but those that were left were considerably narrowed to allow for more construction either side. With no new laws to make roads wider, many sois became traffic bottlenecks. Worse, many were dead ends, leaving traffic nowhere to go. An astonishing 37% of the city's roads are virtual dead ends! Bangkok also has a dreadful road to area ratio of just 8%. Often gridlocked Tokyo fares far better with 23%. New York has 32%. The city also has far too many areas without relatively easy access to major roads. This has also resulted in a lack of public transportation in those areas. Getting in and out of those areas needs a vehicle. Regulations governing shopping malls and office buildings are also different in Thailand compared to the rest of the region. Commercial buildings are permitted to accommodate many more cars than is the case in major capital cities around the region. Also, if you live and work in Tokyo, for example, you are only allowed to own a car if your car has private access to two car park spaces, one at home and one at work! As a result, Bangkok now has 4.3 million private cars. This is aided by parking spaces around the city which are very cheap. In the centre of Bangkok it is little more than 40 baht for the first two hours. In Hong Kong, it is roughly ten times more expensive. At Robinsons Shoping Mall in Singapore, you'll pay 157 baht for every 30 minutes and a higher rate between 6:00 pm and midnight. Most cities also have vastly more parking meters than Bangkok. Bangok's traffic woes are primarily a lack of streets, far too many private cars for the existing streets, a lack of parking spaces and those that are avaiable are vastly too cheap. Until travelling by private car is made a lot more expensive and the city authority constructs many more roads, traffic gridlock will continue in BKK. https://www.bangkokpost.com/opinion/opinion/1762349/understanding-bangkoks-traffic-woes

You're right. There was a time, maybe 15-20 years ago, I posted extensively to CFS. It was one of the best cruising websites, contributed to by some awesome people. I remember, too, Dreaded Ned's Thailand forums to which I posted. What a free for all that was! I recognize a couple of names on this forum who also posted there, back in the day.

Here's my opinion: You know how much attention I would pay to this? None. Zero. Nada. And the last thing you should do is be reluctant to go right back to that bar. I would sit down as usual where you normally sit. If he approaches and wants to talk, that's fine. I would greet him with a smile and a nice hello. I would talk as if this non-incident never happened. If it is brought up, let him be the one who brings it up. Tell him you never meant any offense and he misunderstood what you meant - and then take it from there. For sure you don't need to walk on eggs to talk to him. I doubt he was actually offended at all. I've seen this same kind of manipulation tactic used by boys many times over the years. I've had some of them try it on me too. It's all a part of trying to get what's in your wallet moved into his. And on you it seems to be working. He's got you feeling guilty and wondering what you did wrong or what you could have said differently. In other words, now he's got the control. Don't let him have it. Don't let him put you on the defensive. Don't worry about whether you have offended him. Let him be the one who has to worry about whether he has offended you. If you are interested in him, fine. If not, I'd give him nothing more than a polite nod and move right to a boy who does interest you.

Invariably the boy and the farang will be looking for different things from any relationship. Farangs can easily fall in lust/love with their boy, but it is probably unrealistic to expect that a boy would lust after his farang unless there is only a small age difference? The boy is more likely looking for financial security, maybe status, maybe travel opportunities etc; sex with his farang is just an accepted part of the package? In the end it surely doesn't matter that each look for different things from the relationship; just as long as each gets what they want out of the relationship? Or maybe I am just an old cynic? 🤣

Could you give me his contact? I'll try to find out for you.

Vinapu is right. No matter what "service" you want, even if it is hardly anything at all, you still will be expected to give the boy at least the minimum tip. After all, whatever you want is not something he decided. You're the one making that decision. He is providing what you ask for. Don't forget, you're spending a great deal of money just getting to Thailand. You're probably going to stay in a good hotel, eat in good restaurants, and have plenty of drinks. So, don't try to save money by being less than generous with the boys. After all, most likely the boys are the main reason you're going to Thailand in the first place. If the boy is giving you what you ask for and doing a good job of it, I suggest tipping beyond the minimum, even if what you ask for is minimal in itself. And if you do that, he will be genuinely happy to see you if you return and will do even better than the first time - and that beats hell out of him thinking "Oh no, him again!"