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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 4 RE: Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols. Please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time. However, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pocketbook. This gathering is only for employees! The CEO will make a special announcement. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Pauline --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 5 RE: Holiday Party In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, although unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy Holidays to you and your family, Pauline --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 6 RE: Holiday Party Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous anymore! In addition, we will no longer be having the gift exchange because the union officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and management believes $10.00 is a little cheap. Pauline --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 7 RE: Holiday Party What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. There will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food. We suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for diabetics. The restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Happy Now? Pauline --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 8 RE: The Holiday Party People! People! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus. Even if the anagram for “Santa” does happen to be “Satan.” There is no evil connotation to our own little “man in a red suit.” Pauline --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 9 RE: The ****** Holiday Party Vegetarian jerks: I've had it with you people! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it. You'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, but you know tomatoes have feelings too, they scream when you slice them. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday and then drink, drive and die. Pauline, the Bitch from HELL! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM: John Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 10 RE: Pauline and the Holiday Party I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the management has decided to cancel our holiday party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay. Have a SUCCESSFUL day! John

Speaking of Fragata- If anyone visiting Fragata happens to like “real” Mexican food, there is an authentic Mexican restaurant only a couple of blocks from Fragata. The name of the restaurant is “El Mariachi Cantina Mexicana” The address is - R Dos Pinheiros, 412 | Pinheiros, Sao Paulo The phone number is - +55 11 3081-0055 http://vejasp.abril.com.br/estabelecimento/el-mariachi http://www.cantinaelmariachi.com.br/cardapio The wife of the owner is from Los Angeles, California and is of Mexican descent - this means that she probably knows authentic Mexican food. My experience is that this is the best Mexican restaurant in Sao Paulo (or maybe in all of Brazil). The food is good but is not of the quality one would find in Mexico or in a good Mexican restaurant in Los Angeles. I visit this restaurant a few times a year while in Sao Paulo. Trip Advisor has forty-eight reviews on this restaurant. Most of the reviews are favorable. Of course, not every reviewer is going to rave about a place. Trip Advisors reviews - http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g303631-d4469728-Reviews-El_Mariachi_Cantina_Mexicana-Sao_Paulo_State_of_Sao_Paulo.html If you meet and get along with a nice garoto while at Fragata, you might consider taking him to this restaurant. As I said, it is the best Mexican restaurant in Sao Paulo - a garoto might want to try Mexican food. The restaurant is set up for single, couples or even for a fairly large crowd.

It is no fun getting lost in any city, especially a city like Sao Paulo. For other readers who might visit Fragata or if you use the Metro again (instead of the bus), and if you get lost, just ask any Brazilian you pass while walking "where is MacDonald's?" That is a landmark often used to locate less known places (like Fragata). Also, in addition to the tall MacDonald's sign, there is another large and tall sign for Banco Itau (the bank with the large ugly orange painted building) which is another landmark very close to Fragata. Both MacDonald's and Bank Itau are near the corner of Reboucas and Enrique Schaumann. From there, Fragata is just a little walk. If you locate either one of these landmarks, getting to Fragata is easy. Here is a link to the map that shows the aerial view of the metro station in relation to the location of Fragata. https://www.google.com.br/maps/place...c8e1977879a092 This information will be helpful for future visits to Fragata. -

I have a cousin who has the email address of "Jane the nag". I think that likely she would enjoy the above post and so did I. Best regards, RA1

It may be tough being the "only" fat kid but you shouldn't be threatening movie producers. Best regards, RA1

Poo... I read your headline as Cheney being caught playing with blue bottomed little boys. What a tease.

A worthwhile read. Thanks Mr. Smith. As with many, I was moved by McCain's speech. It was timely and poignant. It makes much of what is said and seen here seem a little silly. Except for the nekked boys of course.