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Gee Lucky, now I have to make a trip back to K-mart to return the "departure gift" I bought for you... Good thing I didnt write the card yet ! Or maybe I should just hold onto it cause no doubt another "farewell announcement" is in the future ?

You pretend sentimental importance of a ring but now I see what you really want.

A present for hito...

Awwww, thank you !

What happened to we serve to live? The uplifting slogan of all the kings and queens subjects. Best regards, RA1 I picked the wrong week to quit drinking. Wait. I have not quit.

LOL, I would say that is deej on the throne, and Daddy in the striped headwrap and Serape'........

Now that Daddy's site has taken a last gasp and resurrected itself, I smell a Mass Exodus coming, and hopefully the Trolls will find their way Home ? Go in Peace !

If you like me then where is my f@#king lemon pie recipe

In the best spirit of conspiracy mongering, I think it is well past time to point out this thread has the topic completely backwards. Note how cleverly the government and its henchmen the media have diverted us from the real question: Is Obama covered by Ebolacare?

I felt lucky Sunday and went to Tunica where I played a little black jack. Won a couple of bucks and that mostly paid for my trip to there. So, however Lucky feels today after I felt lucky on Sunday may or may not matter. No, I am not leaving. And, I am not wishing any others to do so. There is potentially a lot of good information to be shared and other "goodies" also. So, let's share. Does that sound like an advert for Cher? Best regards, RA1

Absolutely correct. Even just things are seldom just what they seem. So, I will just mosey along to another pasture. Best regards, RA1

Or Cloven Fiction? Which is to say, perhaps, an Impossible Ass. Seriously, MsGuy, don' do dat. Now you have consigned me to spend the afternoon rummaging through my Rhetoric texts to see what the hell you were almost thinking of.

Get the distinction?

This "space suit" mentality started with, of all things, the Apollo program. When those astronauts returned to earth they were quarantined for days. I was not then and am not now quite aware of how "bugs" never seen before can live in outer space but I suppose they have to be somewhere. Now, on to conspiracy theory. The "powers that be" and apparently BO is a minor player, are preparing to scare the US population into mass voluntary quarantine. According to this theory, there is a proven vaccine available but approval was "stopped" by the FDC. That is why the doc and his nurse were given experimental drugs. There are none approved. Eventually all those quarantined will be placed into one of many FEMA "camps" now spread all over the US. This may lead to an uprising but that is OK also. Every US office has stockpiled millions of rounds of ammunition. The ultimate goal is population control with the rich getting richer (and disease free) and the poor disappear. Best regards, RA1

I learned that driving a Ram Truck in the South and wearing a set of overalls makes me feel like my childhood has finally taken its toll on my sanity.

Because that makes the most dramatic news copy. What health care providers wear depends on their level of patient engagement. Here is what the CDC recommends for Ebola caregivers: All persons entering the patient room should wear at least: Gloves Gown (fluid resistant or impermeable) Eye protection (goggles or face shield) Facemask Additional PPE might be required in certain situations (e.g., copious amounts of blood, other body fluids, vomit, or feces present in the environment), including but not limited to: Double gloving Disposable shoe covers Leg coverings The latter especially when engaging in "AGP" -- "aerosol-generating procedures" -- on the patient. http://www.cdc.gov/vhf/ebola/hcp/infection-prevention-and-control-recommendations.html?mobile=nocontent

Very clever presentation.

EXPAT, honey, the last thing I want is for you to die. It would be a huge loss to the site, and if my staying will keep you alive, then perhaps I had best stay. Comparing me to Cher is a great compliment as she is a real trouper and a great talent. I am going to seriously consider this, so thanks for suggesting it.

Everyone might have already heard this one, but if not; Man comes home with a duck under his arm and says, Look at the pig I've been fuckin His wife says That's not a pig, that's a duck The man says I wasn't talkin to you

If in fact this new strain of the Ebola Virus is not airborne, and can not even be passed person to person if you are sitting next to someone who is infected, then why is everyone in 'space suits'? http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/usanow/2014/08/02/us-ebola-africa-atlanta-hospital/13504503/

Perhaps we are having a misunderstanding. A Mile High membership does not involve recreation drugs but simply the act or an act of sex when flying at 5,280 feet above the ground or higher. There are plenty of thrills extant herein and being short of breath because of the altitude is just one of them. Best regards, RA1

One somehow hopes you did not earn your Mile High membership as a pilot, strictly speaking.

And courtesy Lady Gaga...

Worth reminding ourselves also that transmission is via contact with body fluids of an infected person. It is not an airborne disease like SARS.

Hah! I put this on Facebook and got that very response.

It isn't that simple. All sites are open to this shit. It happens all the time. Adult websites are considered at risk for this and thus why many hosting companies will not take them on as clients. That said, the DOS attacks can be easily subdued if you have a good hosting company. But, that does not mean they don't happen. I had sites messed up last year as well. It took a bit to get them back on line but I think it was less than 24 hours. But, like I said it can happen to all sites at any time. Daddy's site isn't built on new technology and the older the code the more vulnerable. Members get upset with me all the time for forum shut downs, etc based on upgrades. But, having one site that gets 100,000 visitors per day, I learned a log time back that the money spent in preventive measure are well worth it.

What'd he say? He said he doesn't like us. Hell, I don't like us either.

Supreme Court Haiku ReporterTHE LAW OF THE LAND IN SEVENTEEN SYLLABLES Burwell v. Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc. (6/30/14) Harris v. Quinn (June 30, 2014) July 1st, 2014 . Posted in Case Haiku | No Comments » Homecare assistants Not quite public employees Can’t force union fees Opinion Burwell v. Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc. (6/30/14) June 30th, 2014 . Posted in Case Haiku | No Comments » Birth control mandate Corporations are “persons” Religion burdened Opinion McCullen v. Coakley (June 26, 2014) June 27th, 2014 . Posted in Case Haiku | No Comments » Clinic buffer zone More burdensome than needed Violates Free Speech Opinion National Labor Relations Board v. Noel Canning (June 26, 2014) June 26th, 2014 . Posted in Case Haiku | No Comments » Recess appointments Intra-session included Three days is too short Opinion Fifth Third Bancorp v. Dudenhoeffer (June 25, 2014) June 26th, 2014 . Posted in Case Haiku | No Comments » ERISA complaint ESOP fiduciaries Prudence not presumed Opinion Riley v. California (June 25, 2014) June 25th, 2014 . Posted in Case Haiku | No Comments » More often than not Police will need a warrant To search a cell phone Opinion American Broadcasting Cos. v. Aereo, Inc. (June 25, 2014) June 25th, 2014 . Posted in Case Haiku | No Comments » Web-based streaming site Publicly performs programs Copyrights infringed Opinion Utility Air Regulatory Group v. Environmental Protection Agency (June 23, 2014) June 25th, 2014 . Posted in Case Haiku | No Comments » Car greenhouse gas rules Don’t mean emissions limits On all fixed sources Opinion Halliburton Co. v. Erica P. John Fund, Inc. (June 23, 2014) June 25th, 2014 . Posted in Case Haiku | No Comments » Securities fraud Pre-class certification May show impact lacked Opinion Loughrin v. United States (June 23, 2014) June 25th, 2014 . Posted in Case Haiku | No Comments » Federal bank fraud There need not be an intent To defraud a bank Opinion

Its own entry! Flatulence humor From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Farting in good cheer, 1798 Flatulence humor refers to any type of joke, practical joke device, or other off-color humor related to flatulence. Contents 1 History 2 Assigning of blame 3 Practical jokes 4 Fart humor and information books 5 See also 6 References 7 External links History Although it is likely that flatulence humor has long been considered funny in cultures that consider the public passing of gas impolite, such jokes are rarely recorded. Two important early texts are the 5th century BC plays The Knights and The Clouds, both by Aristophanes, which contain numerous "fart" jokes.[1][2] Another example from classical times appeared in Apocolocyntosis or The Pumpkinification of Claudius, a satire attributed to Seneca on the late Roman emperor: He later explains he got to the afterlife with a quote from Homer: At once he bubbled up the ghost, and there was an end to that shadow of a life…The last words he was heard to speak in this world were these. When he had made a great noise with that end of him which talked easiest, he cried out, "Oh dear, oh dear! I think I have made a mess of myself."[3] German peasants greet the fire and brimstone from a papal bull of Pope Paul III in Martin Luther's 1545 Depictions of the Papacy. "Breezes wafted me from Ilion unto the Ciconian land."[3] Archeologist Warwick Ball asserts that the Roman Emperor Elagabulus played practical jokes on his guests, employing a whoopee cushion-like device at dinner parties.[4] In the translated version of Penguin's 1001 Arabian Nights Tales, a story entitled "The Historic Fart" tells of a man who flees his country from the sheer embarrassment of farting at his wedding, only to return ten years later to discover that his fart had become so famous, that people used the anniversary of its occurrence to date other events. Upon learning this he exclaimed, "Verily, my fart has become a date! It shall be remembered forever!" His embarrassment is so great he returns to exile in India. [5] One of the most celebrated incidents of flatulence humor in early English literature is in The Miller's Tale by Geoffrey Chaucer, which dates from the 14th century; The Summoner's Tale has another. In the first, the character Nicholas sticks his buttocks out of a window at night and humiliates his rival Absolom by farting in his face. But Absolom gets revenge by thrusting a red-hot plough blade between Nicholas's cheeks ("ammyd the ers") The medieval Latin joke book Facetiae includes six tales about farting. "Sing, sweet bird, I kneen nat where thou art!" This Nicholas anon let fle a fart As greet as it had been a thonder-dent That with the strook he was almost yblent (blinded) And he was ready with iron hoot And Nicholas ammyd the ers he smoot.[6] François Rabelais' tales of Gargantua and Pantagruel are laden with acts of flatulence. In Chapter XXVII of the second book, the giant, Pantagruel, releases a fart that "made the earth shake for twenty-nine miles around, and the foul air he blew out created more than fifty-three thousand tiny men, dwarves and creatures of weird shapes, and then he emitted a fat wet fart that turned into just as many tiny stooping women."[7] Benjamin Franklin, in his open letter "To the Royal Academy of Farting", satirically proposes that converting farts into a more agreeable form through science should be a milestone goal of the Royal Academy.[8] In Mark Twain's 1601, properly named [ Date: 1601.] Conversation, as it was the Social Fireside, in the Time of the Tudors, a cupbearer at Court who's a Diarist reports: The Queen inquires as to the source, and receives various replies. Lady Alice says In ye heat of ye talk it befel yt one did breake wind, yielding an exceding mightie and distresfull stink, whereat all did laugh full sore.[9] In the 1940s a clandestine record called "The Crepitation Contest" [10] was produced, allegedly by Canadian Broadcast Corporation staff (narration by sportscaster Sidney S. Brown, who identifies himself in the closing seconds of the original unedited recording, and "sound effects" by his producer, Jules Lipton). The recording is in the manner of a seemingly real radio broadcast of a live sporting event, complete with pre-game interviews of the contestants (the “champion”, Lord Windesmear and the challenger, Paul Boomer), detailed descriptions of all aspects of the competition as it unfolds, including the rules and traditions associated with the sport, play-by-play reporting, and crowd sounds reacting to the drama. The listener also hears a game official on the field as he announces scores attributed to the flatulence sounds emitted by each contestant in the competition. Good your grace, an' I had room for such a thundergust within mine ancient bowels, 'tis not in reason I coulde discharge ye same and live to thank God for yt He did choose handmaid so humble whereby to shew his power. Nay, 'tis not I yt have broughte forth this rich o'ermastering fog, this fragrant gloom, so pray you seeke ye further."[9] Australian comedy musician Kevin Bloody Wilson released his song Mick the Master Farter on his 1984 album Return of the Yobbo. The song contains references to his schoolfriend Mick's uncanny ability to fart, and how it solved various situations, e.g. helping his team win a school rugby match, playing the trombone at a Kamahl concert when the trombone player did not show up, and winning the America's Cup yacht race. First Chorus from the song: "Mick, me mate the master farter Brought the art back into farting with his custom-tailored farts Mick, me mate the master farter Broke new ground with breaking wind, with his double-jointed arse. The bawdy rugby song "Twas On The Good Ship Venus" includes a verse about a flatulent first-mate:- The first-mate's name was Carter By Christ he was a farter When the wind didn't blow and the ship wouldn't go They got Carter the Farter to start 'er" Assigning of blame The sourcing of a fart involves a ritual of assignment that sometimes takes the form of a rhyming game. These are frequently used to discourage others from mentioning the fart or to turn the embarrassment of farting into a pleasurable subject matter.[11] The trick is to pin the blame on someone else, often by means of deception, or using a back and forth rhyming game that includes phrases such as the following. Rhyming phrases:[12] He/She who declared it blared it. He/She who observed it served it. He/She who detected it ejected it. He/She who said the rhyme did the crime. Whoever spoke last set off the blast. Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever denied it supplied it. The next person who speaks is the person who reeks.[13] The smeller's the feller. He/She who inculpated promulgated. The one who said the verse just made the atmosphere worse. Whoever's poking fun is the smoking gun He/She who accuses blew the fuses. He/She who refuted it tooted it. He/She who pointed the finger pulled the trigger. He/She who articulated it particulated it. He/She who deduced it produced it. He/She who was a smart-ass has a fart-ass She who sniffed it biffed it. The slanderer made the gland error. He/She who eulogized it aerosolized it. Whoever makes the joke makes the ass smoke. Whoever did the rhyme did the crime. He/She who rapped it cracked it. Whoever rebuts it cuts it. Whoever spoke it broke it. Whoever asked gassed. Whoever started farted. Whoever explained it ordained it. Whoever described it applied it. Whoever thunk it stunk it. Whoever resented it, presented it. Whoever accused it, diffused it. Whoever spoke the words is baking the turds. He/She who did the verse made it worse. He/She who Painted Fainted. The one who smelled is the one who expelled. Practical jokes A Dutch oven is a slang term for lying in bed with another person and pulling the covers over the person's head while flatulating, thereby creating an unpleasant situation in an enclosed space.[14] This is done as a prank or by accident to one's sleeping partner.[15] The book The Alphabet of Manliness discusses the Dutch oven and a phenomenon it refers to as the "Dutch oven surprise", that "happens if you force it too hard".[16] The Illustrated Dictionary of Sex refers to this as a Dutch treat.[17] A connection between relationships and performing a Dutch oven has been discussed in two undergraduate student newspaper articles[18][19] and in actress Diane Farr's relationships/humor book The Girl Code.[20] Fart humor and information books There are dozens of books about fart history, fart jokes, and fart culture. One of them (see Farts: A Spotter's Guide, below) even has its own electronic fart machine with 10 fart recordings. Walter the Farting Dog is a children's book that reached No. 1 on The New York Times's Bestseller list. Who Cut the Cheese? is probably the most comprehensive history of flatulence in literature, humor, religion, films, etc. 1990 Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School (Enthea Press) edited by Carl Japikse, ISBN 0-89804-801-X 1994 Oh, Vulgar Wind: A Sympathetic Overview of the Common Fart (Culture Concepts, Toronto) by Munroe Scott, ISBN 0-921472-47-1 1998 Tailwinds: The Lore and Language of Fizzles, Farts and Toots (Michael O'Marra Books Ltd) by Peter Furze ISBN 1-85479-2911 1999 Who Cut the Cheese? A Cultural History of the Fart (Ten Speed Press) by Jim Dawson, ISBN 1-58008-011-1 2001 Walter the Farting Dog (Frog Ltd) by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray; illustrated by Audrey Colman, ISBN 1-58394-053-7 2006 Blame It on the Dog: A Modern History of the Fart (Ten Speed Press) by Jim Dawson, ISBN 978-1-58008-751-3 2007 On Farting: Language and Laughter in the Middle Ages (Palgrave MacMillan) by Prof. Valerie Allen, ISBN 978-0-312-23493-5 2008 Farts: A Spotter's Guide (Chronicle Books) by Crai S. Bower; illustrated by Travis Millard, ISBN 978-0-8118-6609-5 2011 The Art of Fart (ebookpartnership.com) by Dougie Brimson, ASIN B006MISNFI See also Flatulist Whoopee cushion References Aristophanes, The Knights Aristophanes, The Clouds Project Gutenberg: E-text No. 10001, English translation of the Apocolocyntosis by W. H. D. Rouse, 1920 Warwick Ball P412, Rome in the East: the transformation of an empire Routledge, 2001 ISBN 0-415-24357-2 "Arabian Nights: The Historic Fart". Pitt.edu. 2013-03-18. Retrieved 2014-03-04. The Miller's Prologue and Tale (lines 3805-3810) François Rabelais, Gargantua and Pantagruel. W.W. Norton & Co. 1990, p.214 Benjamin Franklin, To the Royal Academu of Farting, c. 1781, at teachingamericanhistory.org "1601 by Mark Twain". Retrieved 2014-03-04. "rand’s esoteric otr » Blog Archive » The Great Crepitation Contest of 1946". Randsesotericotr.podbean.com. 2008-05-14. Retrieved 2014-03-04. Blank, Trevor J. "Cheeky Behavior: The Meaning and Function of 'Fartlore' in Childhood and Adolescence." Children's Folklore Review Vol. 32 (2010): 61-85. Ibid., pg. 68-69. Maddox, Angelo Vildasol Alphabet of Manliness pg. 64[dead link] Patridge, Ben. The MANual - Surviving Pregnancy. Bennovations. p. 64. ISBN 978-0-9721066-6-5. "A 'Dutch oven' is when you are lying in bed with someone, you pull the covers over their heads and expel gas from the anus, thereby trapping them with your pungent gift" Partridge, Eric; Dalzell, Tom; Victor, Terry (2006). The New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English (9 ed.). Taylor & Francis. p. 679. ISBN 978-0-415-25937-8. "If you happen to be in bed sleeping with someone, what you do is drop the nastiest, juiciest broccoli fart under the covers. Then while your partner is still sleeping, lift the covers over her head and then wait until the fart dissipates." Maddox. The Alphabet of Manliness. Citadel Press, 2006 ISBN 0-8065-2720-X, 9780806527208 204 pages p.66 Roberts, Keath (2007-11-30). Illustrated Dictionary of Sex. Lotus Press. pp. 54–55. ISBN 978-81-89093-59-4. Pat Corran and Lara Luepke "Dutch oven" February 24, 2003 The Spectator (University of Wisconsin Eau Claire) [1][dead link] "To fart without persecution, to want only to thrust one's blankets overhead and roguishly execute the Dutch Oven; those, my friends, are the truths our Founding Fathers held to be self-evident. To my brothers who still await with sphincters clenched (sans Brokeback), your day approaches. Stay strong." Jonathan Pitts-Wiley "Keeping it tight with your girlfriend" while still letting one rip February 17, 2006 Yale Daily News http://www.yaledailynews.com/news/2006/feb/17/keeping-it-tight-with-your-girlfriend-while-still/ (Accessed 22 February 2011). Diane Farr. The Girl Code: the secret language of single women (on dating, sex, shopping, and honor among girlfriends) Little, Brown and Company, 2001 ISBN 0-316-26061-4, ISBN 978-0-316-26061-9 192 pages page 172 This article needs additional citations for verification. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (April 2008) External links Dealt It - Share the hilarious sounds and smells of your dealings How to Use a Whoopie Cushion High speed footage of whoopee cushions in action, and how to make a musical instrument from a whoopee cushion http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatulence_humor

(Instead of Ratzinger)