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For over a month, I have missed the postings, the threads, the visuals, and the contributions from Lurkerspeaks. Does anyone know what has happened? Is he on a leave of absence at his own volition, a wonderful holiday, or what? This ardent contributor and reader would like to have his curiosity solved! Many thanks, men!!!!

Bring all those hot Brazilian Boys and Thai Guys over to the USA. You can now legally do this if you are married in a place that allows gay marriage. http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/07/02/napolitano-confirms-gay-couples-can-apply-visa-for-foreign-spouse/?test=latestnews#ixzz2XvcG4FyU The Obama administration confirmed that gay citizens can apply for a visa for a foreign spouse now that the Supreme Court has struck down part of the Defense of Marriage Act that limited such privileges to heterosexual couples. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said Monday that same-sex visa petitions must be processed in the same manner as those filed by opposite-sex couples, one day after a lawyer for an American man and his Bulgarian male spouse said his clients became the first gay couple in the United States to have their application approved. Even gay couples living in states that dont recognize same-sex marriages can apply for the visa as long as they were married in a state (or foreign country) that recognizes such marriages. Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/07/02/napolitano-confirms-gay-couples-can-apply-visa-for-foreign-spouse/?test=latestnews#ixzz2XxJgLcC1

I also find some of the posters here to be complete Assholes (strangely two of them are the ones which have caused TomCal to leave this site and LurkerSpeaks to limit his posting) I just put them on ignore and thus I do not have to see their posts/responses. Since the fellas on my ignore list add nothing of value to this site I am pretty sure I will not miss anything important. I do hope others will utilize this wonderful tool! If any of you feel the same way about me please add me to your ignore list-I will not lose any sleep over this!

Ignore the private chat Lurker. Some people are just nuts.

As most of you know, I love Thailand and my two boyfriends that live with me here are great guys and take good care of me while here. I always enjoy my time in Thailand but I am getting to detest the flights. It was 30 hours door to door and that is a long time for an old man like me. I was on Delta and I enjoyed the lay flat seats but I had that they have only one bathroom on the main business class cabin for everyone. They will tell you that you are welcome to use the ones upstairs but that is a pain in the ass. IMHO On this trip, I wanted to be sure I brought some things I have wanted in Thailand for a long while. I have a 3 wheel bike I wanted to bring which is both overweight and over-sized. I also wanted my coffee machine, pressure cooker and some other odd things that I always wanted on trips here. So, on this trip, I loaded up my SUV and headed to the airport. It was completely full. I get to the airport and was told that the limit for bags on Delta Connection Flights were 4. I had 12 bags with me that needed to be checked. After a lot of back and forth, smiling and bullshit, they agreed to take them as the plane was not full. I had also called ahead to make sure I was able to bring them and that helped the situation. When I got to Thailand and past immigration, I saw the same old man that always helps me. He came running over to me and I told him this time I needed a lot of help and maybe 2-3 guys. He said he would take care of it. He did it all by himself (bigger tip for him) and he had a huge 4 wheel crate that fit the bike and everything else on it. As we were walking through customs, the lady stopped us and asked what was in the big bags. I told her the biggest was a 3 wheel bike and she laughed. She pointed to another suitcase and I said that is 2 tires for the bike and another was the back tire. She asked about the other large one and it was my 27inch Imac and she looked at me and said "really" and I said yes. She said, "Mister, you crazy mak mak. Go on out of here." I smiled and thanked my lucky stars that I didn't have to get stripped searched or worse. I never have problems in Thailand with customs like I do in Brazil, India, USA or just about anywhere. They usually just say welcome. I choose a 1 bedroom place for this trip in the business district and not far from all the embassies. The room is over 1700 square feet and has the best fitness center in Bangkok that is part of the service. Everything is included in the room and the cost is 75,000 bath or about 2400 USD. I did make it out the first few nights but the jet lag usually takes me a few days to recover from. However, I will be having some adventures and will share them with you as they happen.

I think this is absolutely right. I love to bake. (Food! Brain cells too of course.) Can baking improve mental health?The woman behind the Depressed Cake Shop believes it can, and is hoping her pop-up shop will get people talking about it as well as raising money for mental health charities Huma Qureshi The Guardian, Wednesday 3 July 2013 13.00 EDT Gloomy grey lemon-flavoured macaroons from the Depressed Cake Shop. Photograph: Safiyah Kelly They say baking soothes the soul. How can it not? There is something so reassuring about the ritual – quietly weighing out butter, sugar, flour, cracking eggs, whisking, beating and folding. "If you're feeling a little bit down, a bit of kneading helps," Mary Berry once said. It is not just indulging in the end results – the cake, the biscuits, the scones – that helps to brighten up a blue day, but the therapeutic process itself. This perceived connection between baking and good mental health has sparked an initiative that will see several pop-up bakeries opening across the UK. During the first weekend in August, the Depressed Cake Shop will open at venues in London, Glasgow, Derby, Cardiff and North Yorkshire, with the proceeds going to mental health charities. There is plenty of anecdotal evidence to suggest that the organiser, Emma Thomas – aka Miss Cakehead – is on to something with this idea. John Whaite, who won the Great British Bake Off in 2012, recently brought out a cookbook, Recipes for Every Day and Mood, with a chapter dedicated to lifting the spirits. Whaite has experience of depression and describes baking as his escape. For him, it is "meditative", an act of "making something destructive into something constructive, and at the end of it you've got something to be proud of, something to eat, something to show off". Novelist Marian Keyes has also used baking to help her deal with depression. In her book, Saved by Cake, she writes: "Baking hasn't cured me. But it gets me through … To be perfectly blunt about it, my choice sometimes is: I can kill myself or I can make a dozen cupcakes. Right, so I'll do the cupcakes and I can kill myself tomorrow." Keyes and Whaite have spurred many bloggers to share stories of how baking helped with depression like this one who writes about how baking gave her a sense of achievement, or this young mother, who, overwhelmed after the birth of her baby, baked her way through Mary Berry's Baking Bible to help rebuild her confidence. I know from experience how helpful baking can be. I baked fiddly vanilla biscuit thins in the days after my dad died. I don't know what spurred me into the kitchen, but baking tray after tray of biscuits let me focus on the present instead of my mind wandering into all sorts of places I wasn't ready for it to go. The simple act of bringing dough together and stamping out rounds gave me a focus. My biscuits kept burning at the edges, but eventually I got there. I don't recall now whether we even ate them, but I do remember that getting them right in the end made a small part of me feel good. That particularly difficult time has long passed, but, like a lot of people, baking still gets me through the odd days when things don't feel as if they are going my way. "There's no scientific research to explain why or how baking helps to make you feel better, and it's certainly not a cure for depression. But it is therapeutic, and it helps many people," says Thomas (she was also behind the most repulsive cakeshop in the world, a pop-up at the pathology museum at St Bartholomew's hospital in London, selling cakes shaped into infected body parts to raise awareness of cancer and STIs). "Baking is creative, and instantly rewarding. I've realised that cake gets people talking, and the Depressed Cake Shop hopes to get people discussing mental illness and supporting mental health charities." Eventually, Thomas hopes to set up a series of baking therapy sessions and support networks across the UK. The Depressed Cake Shop will be an antidote to vintage-styled bakeries selling fluffy pink cupcakes with sprinkles on top. Instead, the pop-up shops will sell cakes made by amateurs, many with personal experience of depression. There will be gloomy grey lemon-flavoured macaroons, clouds of grey meringue and dark grey cupcakes, whose colours will only be revealed on the inside. For more information, visit the Depressed Cake Shop http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/jul/03/can-baking-improve-mental-health

Well, I had three fingers in his ass. Like what did I want? I went to Clube 117. Didn't make a special trip as I had some afternoon business in Lapa that was over at just after 4PM. Got to the sauna at 4:45PM. I cannot begin to explain how empty it was fora Tuesday. The new entry fees started and now are 20Reais for the boys. In the 3 plus hours that I was there, I saw maybe 4 or 5 that took a stroll through the sauna, looking for possible clients while deciding whether to get a locker and get changed. And of course, pay the increased fee to.....err, market their wares. I had a, to the dot, thirty minute programa with a Kauan from Niteroi. We had talked before, even exchange numbers and e-mails, but never connected. 5PM-5:30PM. Lighter-skinned, tightly shaved down, muscular without overly-developed wings, biceps or delts. Ativo liberal and when I got on top of him and quickly flipped him over before he could react, and then slid myself between his butt cheeks, he was not a happy camper. Not happy at all. Couldn't take the joke. Obviously Sat outside and waited to see who might arrive. No one did really. Had a bottle of water and a package of mixed nuts. Not the man-type. But edible just the same. Now about 7PM. Thinking about leaving. Maybe grabbing something outside of the sauna to eat before treking home. Decided to check out the old bar downstairs. Now a very nice, relaxing, dimly-lit TV room. Flor do Caribe with one of my faves, Grazielli Massafera, on the TV and two rapazes/garotos/boys eating a snack on the round bed in the center of the room with a few throw pillow for comfort and relaxation. We started to chat and after they finished consuming some calories for an energy boost, they began to chat me up and then started to consume me. I knew one from before at Meio Mundo. Nice body, not so greatly talented sexually, dick lacking in size. Other one I had never been with. At first the subject of a three-way was broached and my response was I liked to concentrate on one guy. So the other took the hint and took off. The two of us got very involved on that round sofa. I am surprise that neither of the towel guys downstairs who also clean the lower-level suites told us to take it to a room. During the middle of doing practically everything, Thiago, yes another Thiago - the place is lousy with Thaigo's, Diego's and Diog's - unless they are named Fernando it seems - sometimes Marcelo as well - he whispers in my ear - O que voce quiser - What do you want? . Now you have to realize that at this point, out in the open, we have been making out and he sucking each other off, which is pretty much against Monik's rules. O que voce quisir? I have three of my fingers in your ass. Really WTF moment. Surprised me to no end. My response was, Tenho tres dedos no seu cuzinho. O que voce acha? or I have three fingers inside your little asshole. What do you think? Defintely a memoralbe moment for my memory banks..Or what is left of them at my age. And like we had already agreed on a price. There was no doubt that I was going to take him to a suite, slap on a rubber and have some further fun with him. I just wanted to extend the shortened 30 minutes in a suite on Tuesdays with some extended foreplay and I have to admit that the round couch was much better than chatting in the back bar or one of the saunas.

To Lurker and Tomcal if you are reading. Hopefully you are beginning to get the picture. Your posts are valued here by the over whelming majority. When you elect to disappear because of one or two posters or posts , you are depriving the many of your posts and making the few happy. Put the few on ignore and resume your activity and understand that there will be occasions that you will not like what someone says. That is life and it happens every day at work , at social engagements and yes on Forums.

lurker, I think citylaw and axiom may be onto something. There is a delicious Japanese word and concept for it: mokusatsu. It means to "treat (someone) with silent contempt." I confess this is all quite selfish -- I want to be reading and ogling your posts again.

I concur with citylaw1's suggestion. At another site an escort thought it was his right to correct me. He did it more than once, but when I ignored and did not respond to what he'd written, his ridicule and sarcasm and pseudo-repartee ceased. This morning {7.3.13} on my Facebook page a very handsome and quite hung escort wrote that a poster on his page had commented that he, escort, looked fat in a photo. This bothered the escort; I wrote that he should ignore those comments that bothered him and not dignify them in anyway by responding to the idiotic remark, for the escort is far from being fat; in fact, he's muscled and has a taut bod and is strikingly goodlooking! But, Lurker, I do appreciate your chiming in and relaying the prime reason for your sudden disappearance. And I now know why I have not heard from TomCal, here, too! This is a loss as well! Would appreciate that both of you reconsider and do what you enjoy doing in spite of some who perhaps are here to keep "shit" stirring.

I'd never ignore you TPL.

Jesus fucking christ on a stick. Someone deletes all their photos because some dude doesn't like them? Other people are talking weird private messages on the Internet seriously? Holy Shitkabab Batman! Is this everyone's first day on the fucking Internet. Here are some fairly basic ground rules for dealing with shit online. 1. No matter what kind of photo you post someone is going to think it's ugly. I could post a picture of a 23 year old naked Brad Pitt and some dude would be like "ewww, look at all that chest hair!" I could post a picture of Jake Gyllenhaal and somebody would be like "gross, he looks like a girl, does he smell like tuna?" That is the way the fucking Internet works. We each have different shit that gets our dicks hard. And if what gets your dick hard doesn't make someone else's dick hard, who gives a flying mother of fuck! 2. People on the Internet sometimes send shitty private messages. This is called "being on the Internet after drinking or doing cocaine." It always means jack shit. And, fuck, we've all been guilty of sending a nasty message. 3. The number one rule of the Internet is "don't feed the troll." The troll just wants attention. You remove pictures - the troll is happy and will troll again. You respond to the troll and act upset - the troll is happy and will troll again. When someone says something shitty to you on the Internet, just fucking ignore them. 4. God, this is all like a bunch of teenage girls fighting over which one will get their pussy on the star quarterback's dick. Let's be fucking men and not tuna casseroles. 5. Can everyone just apologize to everyone else and get this site the fuck back on track? You know, like grown ups who have some balls?

Lurker I see nothing in the PM message you posted that could be construed as a threat. Just someone saying he is happy to compete in a war of words with you if you want to continue the conversation. Of course I know who the poster is anybody that reads the board knows and if they didn't it would take them 2 minutes to discover by reading your last posts before you withdrew. Boards for the most parts are anonymous so some people feel it is their right to take a strong stand. Does not mean you have to engage and most of the time it is better to ignore and move on. I have to say it is ridiculous for someone to give up conversations with many people because of 1 poster he doesn't get along with. Just ignore that poster and understand that although you may not get along with him there are people here who value his posts. As far as Tomcal his withdrawal if true is even more ridiculous. I can't think of anyone who has gotten more positive thanks for his posts. He lets a few catty posts drive him off ????? After all this is a Gay site catty comments are to be expected. LOL I think both of you need a little armor plating and it should not have to be that thick . IMHO

Well, that is good to know. I had a few members email me about the photos and I thought it was a board malfunction and have had my programmers, the hosting company and the Invision staff trying to figure out what happened. After over 500 USD spent, we decided that someone had deleted photos but I didn't know who, now I do. Thanks for the heads up. After I first heard you were upset I went back and read and reread tons of posts to try to determine where the nastiness was but I could not. We live in an online world where some people are more sensitive than others. I am not the most sensitive I know but I also have a pretty thick skin. That said, when I saw the posts in question, I did not see them the way you did and I read them multiple times. Do you think that possible history plays a role in your decision or was it so blatant that the board rules were violated and I didn't see it? I am seriously asking as we hate to loose members but to this date, I have not see posts which violate our rules. And, if they do not violate the rules, should we then just start banning others when a member complains? My Mom told me the same thing and I try my best to live that way but when you are dealing with an adult community of men, they will often speak their minds even if it is hard for others to hear or not the nice thing to say. IMHO, that encourages debate and as long as the debate is done is a gentlemanly manner, that should be good for the community. I don't learn very much from someone who agrees with me all the time. I learn from someone disagreeing with me. Likewise, we are not all going to like the same type of guy. I love Asian guys but I know others don't. To me, that is a preference and I have created threads where people said some unkind things about the guys I post about. I chalk it up to a difference in tastes. But, I also can find some good things about any group of sexy men in a thread. I may not be into muscle guys, but I do love looking at them. As I have said in the past, we do value each and everyone of our members and we do appreciate them all. As adults, do we really need an admin or moderator to step in when someone says they don't like a guy that someone else likes or when someone disagrees. Again, perhaps I missed those threads but if it has caused you and Tomcal to be that upset, please post links to those threads here so we can view them. I grew up with a large family and we fought often but we never held grudges for too long. I hope that is true here and that everyone who is upset with speak up and let us know how we can achieve the kind of board where all feel comfortable.

Totally Oz, I enjoyed your read and hope that your six month stay will be very good to and for you!

I am insanely jealous, although it occurs to me that if I didn't have a mortgage, a husband, and two dogs, I could do that too! Looking for Oz's reports from Thailand will keep me checking boytoy.com...at least until the end of the year!