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"for gay men to discriminate so widely against other gay men as the the Japanese gays do is really a bit much" I wonder: I have limited experience of Japan, Tokyo gay bars and the Japanese but I do not agree. My feeling is that the attitude is not gay-related but simple xenophobia. I speak very limited Japanese. I only used it in simple exchanges, where I was certain that I had the proper language and honorifics. I found that Japanese strangers or officials most often could not believe a foreigner could express himself in their language.

My assumption is that Totally Oz writes the reports since they are posted under his name. The writer had the task of mentioning racism and discrimination in Japan, while at the same time posting a positive and upbeat report. He did a good job. It is never any fun to be discriminated against. I once went to the baths in LA with a friend who was turned away as "too old." He was 46. Gay guys taking their sisters to a dance club suddenly learn of rules designed to keep women out. (No open-toed shoes, for one.) And in Japan, westerners quickly find that their money is so welcome in the shopping mall, but not at the dance club or the sauna. Of course, it is not really their money that is unwelcome, it is them! Japanese like to socialize with other Japanese, and foreigners simply are kept out. And we have not even begun to discuss weight and looks, just skin color. In Bangkok, they have one nice street in Patpong that is devoid of vendors and full of clubs catering to the Japanese-only trade. It's not to pick on the Japanese that I mention this. Discrimination is practiced widely enough that we don't even notice it when there are no fat people present, or old people, or fill-in-the-blank people. But for gay men to discriminate so widely against other gay men as the the Japanese gays do is really a bit much, I want Asian men to be free of discrimination in dealing with the western world, but the Japanese are not helping.

My personal experience is that trying to figure out what makes other people do crazy things is a sure recipe to go crazy yourself. You can't control other people, and sometimes they do things that just make no sense. The thing that you can control is how you respond to other people and their insanity. There may well be no magic thing you can do to make this guy like you and interact with you in the way that you want. Because really, isn't that what you're asking? Not so much to understand him as the key that will get him to behave the way you want him to? It is incredibly hard when you're emotionally/hormonally engaged to step back and realize that you have zero control over the other person. That there is probably _nothing_ you can do to get them to respond to you the way you want them to... But if you can make that hard step, then it can be incredibly freeing. You stop trying to perform some miracle, and just be yourself and let it happen or not as it will. In my 20s (more than a few years past!), I was a bit of a control freak and I thought somehow if I just figured out what to do or say to a guy I liked that I could get them to like me. I was sure that it was in my power to win any guy I liked over to me. It was a hard lesson to realize that that just wasn't the case. Good luck, but from what you've described, you don't have what this guy wants now. Maybe it's insane amounts of cash. Maybe he's got internalized homophobia and now has guilt about enjoying time with you so is pushing you away. Maybe you smell funny (joking!). The point is that the list of maybes goes on pretty much forever and you can't control most of them. So stop trying. So, I'd just leave him be. Maybe he'll come back around, maybe he won't. You can't control that. But _trying_ to control that will just make you crazy so don't.... My .02, anyway.

Oz is 100% right. Carnival is the worst time of the year to visit São Paulo. All the good looking boys go to Rio. Fragata is usually nice at other times of the year, it might be worth a try, but beware, in the past was known as a bottom boy paradise (but not exclusively), I don't know how it is nowadays.

Gay Vienna – Where The Prince Was A Queen! Vienna tends to get a bad rap when people think about talking a gaycation in Europe. It doesn't end up on the gaydar the way other cities like Barcelona, Paris or Athens do. But, that's mostly due to outdated thinking. For years, Vienna did have some repressive laws relating to homosexuality, and they didn't even have their first Gay Pride Parade until 1996. However, over the past 10 years the gay scene in Vienna has exploded and become one of the most interesting places to go gay on vacation in Europe. This shouldn't be surprising, as Vienna has a rich gay history. The most interesting figure has to be Prince Eugene of Savoy from the mid-1600s, who was sent to Vienna to save the city from the occupation of the Ottoman Empire. Not only was this openly gay man successful at pushing out the invaders; he became one of the most important military leaders in Vienna's history. But, he was also an interesting human being. When he heard that Louis XIV would not receive him at the Court Of Versailles in military dress because of his homosexuality, he turned up in full drag – with his boyfriend at his side. Meanwhile, less than a decade later, Emperor Karl VI would take the throne in Vienna and make his homosexuality clear, with his long-term relationship with Count Michael Johann III Althan. This is to say nothing of Vienna's most famous gay historical figure, composer Franz Schubert. Schubert's story is somewhat tragic. He let it be known that he was gay, but was pressured by his friends to at least try sex with a woman once. They brought him to a brothel to see what a female sexperience would be like, contracted syphilis from the visit, and died a short time later. With this type of history in the city, it should be no surprise that once it decided to enter the modern era, it became one of the most vibrant gay scenes in all of Europe. So, my terrific twinks, beautiful bears and lovely boy toys, let's take a little tour of Gay Vienna, where queens are more than welcome (even if they are princes!). The Male Escort Scene Prostitution is completely legal in Vienna - even street prostitution - and both male and female prostitutes are common. Your best bet is to avoid the street rent boys (who are often the victims of sex trafficking) and instead hit the gay male brothels, which are much safer and exploit the boys considerably less. You'll find the brothels in the Gürtel section of town, as well as in the Second District. Because they are legal, they are easy to look up online or even to have your concierge make a recommendation for you and provide directions. Some of them are very small operations with just two or three boys available, but there are also larger and more upscale ones if you want to spend the extra money. It should be noted that there are also several go-go gay bars in Vienna. But, the boys who work in these bars are not male escorts. But they will be more than willing to hint to you that they are available for sex in order to get you to pay for more and more lap dances. Understand that you'll never get laid with them, and save your cash for the real rent boys. The Gayborhood If you are looking to find the gay bars and clubs in Vienna, you'll want to head over to the Gay Village – the Naschmarkt neighborhood. To get there, take the subway to the U Pilgramgasse metro stop. You'll find yourself in gay heaven – surrounded by gay-friendly shops and restaurants, as well as a number of ever-changing gay watering holes. You'll also find fliers here for the latest gay events, and it will be a great way for you to get the lay of the land, so to speak. Gay Events There are a large number of gay-friendly events and things to see in Vienna. If you are looking for culture you can head over to the Leopold Museum, which hosts the Naked Men exhibit - a celebration of male nudes in art over the past 300 years. It's like porn, but, you know, art! Every May the city hosts the Life Ball, which is the largest and most successful event in Europe to raise money for HIV prevention and awareness. It's also a gay old time, where you can dress your best and dance the night away as though you were back in the age of princes and kings. In June the city hosts their Gay Pride Parade, which is quickly on track to eventually become the largest pride event in all of Europe. Finally, in April the city hosts the Vienna Bear Congress, which is exactly what you'd think it is, except it starts off with a massive traditional waltz that is not to be missed. The Rest Of The Best Of Vienna When you are looking for more traditional things to do while visiting Vienna, it mostly comes down to two main types of things – classical music and coffee. The classical music scene of Vienna has been important for centuries and still is today. No matter what time of year you go, you'll find interesting concerts that are not to be missed. And, not enough can be said about the coffee. For hundreds of years, Vienna controlled the coffee trade in Europe, and it shows. There are more than three dozen ways you can get coffee served, and this is the only city in Europe to have a better reputation for java than Italy. Let's Get Gay In Vienna! Stop thinking of Vienna as a backwards and boring city! Instead, come here and get your gay on! (Just don't end up like Schubert.) cc 2013 boytoy.com

German Nazi party member and former Hitler Youth, in charge of worldwide conspiracy devoted to concealing sex crimes against children, to resign. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-21411304

Gay Tokyo – Take A Bow It's time to take a trip over to the South Pacific, where rice queens who are tired of Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia can sexperience some hot nightlife and find their own geisha boy to gay the night away with. That's right, my flaming fags, hunky hustlers, beautiful bears and terrific twinks - today we are going to give you a glimpse of Gay Tokyo, where you can party all night long and find the sticky rice of your wet dreams. First, let's dispel one rumor about Tokyo right off the bat: It's no longer anywhere near as expensive as it used to be. In the aftermath of currency revaluation, the earthquake and deflation, costs have come down quite a bit. While it's still not an inexpensive place to visit, it's no more expensive than New York, Paris or any other major tourist destination in the West. And this goes for rent boys as well, so you can always afford your boy toys whenever you want to play with them. One thing you will have to worry about if you are trying to hook up with cute guys you meet who are not pay for play, though: Tokyo is still a somewhat closeted city, and there are many arranged marriages. Beyond that, there is huge social pressure for people to marry members of the opposite sex. So many, if not most of the guys you meet in bars and clubs will have an official wife or girlfriend and be hooking up on the down low. In other words, their sausage may taste a bit like sushi. Anyway, let's get you the low down on how to go down in Gay Tokyo! The Practicalities Of Getting Laid In Tokyo Tokyo is one of the most densely packed cities in the world, and apartments are scarce. This means that many people live with their parents until they are in their 20s or 30s. And those that do have their own apartments live in very tiny studios that are not really big enough for two people. Therefore, if you want to hook up with someone in a bed you'll either need to take them back to your hotel, or else go to one of the thousands of “love hotels” in the city that rent out bedrooms by the hour. The Gayborhood The place to go to meet the gays is the Ni-Chome neighborhood. This small district is known for having more gay bars per square foot than any other place in the world. No matter what you are looking for, you'll find it here. You may, however, have to check out a couple bars and clubs before you start partying. Some of them only admit Asians, and some are Japanese-only. Restrictions are also an issue with the saunas and bathhouses in Ni-Chome – some of them will only admit people under age 30. Others will only admit people who are in shape. Still others are Japanese-only. So, don't be surprised if you are turned away from the first couple of saunas you try to visit – it's not you, it's them. When in the saunas and gay bars, be careful before someone tries to take you into a darkened corner. Some Yakuza have been known to pretend to be gay men and then rob people when they have them alone. The best way to try to avoid this is to look at their hands before you agree to hook up – if they have any tattoos there, move on to the next dude. That said, despite the closeted nature of the city and the few gangsters around, Tokyo is not really homophobic at all. It's just that people tend to ignore homosexuality rather than discuss it or bring it out into the open. It's a part of their culture of privacy. Twice The Pride For a closeted city, it's somewhat surprising that they have two different pride events every year – Gay Pride in August, and Rainbow Pride in April. Both events are very popular and attended by mostly the same people. The reason the two events exist is that the original organizers of Gay Pride had a falling out, and some of them split off to create Rainbow Pride. But who are we to complain about double pride happiness? Daytime Fun While the clubs and bars are packed with gays during the night, day gay stuff in Tokyo is almost invisible, so you'll want to plan some vanilla sightseeing while the sun is shining. Luckily there is plenty to do, so you won't get bored waiting for Ni-Chome to come alive and the men to “come out.” On your first day here, take a ride on the Sky Bus Tokyo. It will take you on a guided tour of the most important neighborhoods in the city, give you a bit of history, and help you get yourself oriented. Once you've done that, you'll want to go to Asakusa, where you can visit beautiful ancient temples. This is where you want to take the photos you can send home to your straight friends and family members. You'll also want to let yourself be awed by the traditional Imperial Palace. To get a great view of the city, including Mt. Fuji and Shinjuku, go to the Bunkyo Civic Center. Entrance is free! Ok, Now You Know Scoop For A Sushi Free Tokyo Gaycation! Come on down, because you can't just Bangkok forever!

I suppose you've considered knockout drops? Failing that, why not just ask him what it would take for him to act a little friendlier? In the rather unlikely event he tells you, and it works, problem solved. If not, then he'll remain cold and arrogant, which you say you like. Bending him to your will and turning him into your lap dog may just make him less desirable, rather than more. Could it be you just like a challenge? If so, you've got one. My suggestion would be to just enjoy it for what it is. Besides, if we all knew how to turn the hottest guy in Sao Paolo into our own personal BoyToy, we'd probably be down there doing it instead of sitting around here pontificating on an anonymous message board. Of course I may be wrong.

AS- Do you actually know hito or do you just happen to live in the same state (of delusion)? Hito actually sounds Japanese and AHA sounds like something a Japanese might say. Perhaps you can work in some Ninja scenarios between the Bewitched and Lizard Lick? Best regards, RA1

Gotti, I am headed there in a few weeks and I hope that Fragata is still Bottom Boy Paradise!

Interesting article about gay tokyo. I was there last month but did not stay long enough to go to a gay place. Last year, though, I went to a chain of gay sauna (kaikan 24 - there is one in Shinjuku ni chome and another one in Ueno and another one in Asakusa. I went to the sauna in Shinjuku and to the one in Ueno. Not that easy to find, but ok. There is a strict procedure, to remove your shoes, your clothes, to put them in a locker, to put the key in another locker, to get a dressing gown, to shower, but there are some indications in English. Lot of action in the whole building. The rooms are indeed, as mentioned below, very expensive. So most of the action is done in the common rooms, under sheets. Lot of noises, very exctiing. Most of the Japanese have a small cock, even when erect. So they are amazed to see a normal size European dick. They would faint if they were to see a dick in the Rio Saunas lol. The etiquette in Japan is that normally Japanese do not touch each other. They simply hate that and do not shake end, but bow. Of course in the sauna, the etiquette is different, but you may see people bowing, then sucking or fucking. Very funny. Japanese are often turned on by hair, since most of the Japanese are totally hairless with only a dense bush around their tiny cock. They were speechless in front of my European size cock and hairy chest. 2 nice evening in Tokyo. When I was living in Japan, many years ago, I used to go to Shinjuku. I remember a stripping place where after the strip show, the clients were invited to join to fuck the girl or the boy, depending on which type of strip club you went to. If many customers were bold enough to go fuck on stage in front of the public, they were playing "jankenpo" (stone, paper and scisors) and the winner went fucking on stage. There were no internet at that time and no publications in English. I had to spend a lot of time before finding these place. No need to mention that the strippers were not Japanese, but from Korea, which was, at that time, the sex reservoir of Japan (often, good employees meeting their targets were wining a sex tour to Korea at the company's expense). Some comments on Kaikan 24 : 24-Hour Kaikan is a gay sauna, part of a chain, located at the back of Shinjuku Ni-Chome, and, with 8 floors, is the biggest cruising premises in the area. As the name indicates, 24-Hour Kaikan is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Foreigners are welcome, and staff speak limited English. The 2,600 yen entrance fee, payable by vending machine in the entrance, is for a 13-hour stay: 200 yen-per-hour after that. (A 6-hour “short stay” on weekdays between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. is also possible for 2,000 yen: 200 yen-per-hour after that.) The procedure is: put shoes in locker and change into slippers, buy admission ticket from vending machine, take shoe locker key and ticket to the front desk, and receive a clothes locker key and a bag with robe, face cloth, and bath towel. The reception floor also has a snack room. There is parking on the first floor (600 yen for first 3 hours). There is a dry sauna, steam room, communal bath, and tanning beds on the 3rd floor. There is a video room on the 4th floor, and private rooms on the 5th, 6th, and 7th floors. Private rooms are expensive (from 3,800 yen to 21,000 yen depending on numbers and time slot) so most action takes place in the common rooms on the 4th, 5th, and 6th floors - so much action in fact that if on weekends you manage to find a space on a futon to lie down, sleep is often difficult. Being a roomful of scores of guys, there is naturally a lot of snoring. Being a roomful of guys there for hooking up, there is also naturally a lot of moaning and groaning, huffing and puffing, and those on the cruising front lines scouring the scene for hookups with subtle groping of likely looking sleeping forms. Foreigners are not all uncommon at 24 Kaikan Shinjuku, and, while most Japanese guys are not very forthcoming and are unlikely to make the first move, if you know what you want and stay tuned, your chances are as good as anywhere else in the world. The easiest Japanese guys to hook up with are gaisen, i.e. those into foreign guys, but they do not necessarily form the limits of your cruising experience in Japan. Those who don't think of themselves as gaisen might just need a little more effort on your part. 24 Kaikan also has a rooftop floor, equipped with another suntan room and a cold bathtub.