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Where I happen to live, our patron saint is Sao Roque or Saint Roch, supposed curer of the Black Death. Much more interesting and certainly more important for gay men is Sao Goncalo. Not only is it the second largest city in the metropolitan region of Rio de Janeiro, he is considered Portugal's version of St. Valentine. And since 2002, most likely every gay man's favorite saint. Traditional Portguese pastries prepared in the honor of our patron saint. Also keep in mind that saing a prayer, lighting a candle and rubbing our hot powdered sugar buns, seems to have a magical curative effect on our manginas, per this excerpt below. Saint Goncalo, hear my prayer and cure my swollen ass! HEMORRHOID sufferers are flocking to a church in central Portugal in the belief they will be cured by exposing their afflicted behinds to the statue of a local saint. The suffering faithful in Murtosa, 250 km north of Lisbon, attribute Saint Goncalo with the power to cure the condition, the Jornal de Noticias reported. Yes, people are actually going to a church and rubbing their naked asses against a statue in hopes of reducing that painful swelling. Apparently there is some shortage of Preparation H in Portugal.